Chapter 75 – Tears Melted Into Scars (3)
Would I be lying if I said it was expected?
Eventually, this will happen.
The things I hoped for would never happen.
Would I be lying if I said I expected that?
“I’m sorry, Captain.”
“…”
“But I think this is for the best.”
I think I heard this cold voice of Lope in a dream one day. It was a long time ago that I dreamed of it in the first place, so in fact, I knew that things would turn out like this from before. Lope won’t give me the glyph. I’ll never be saved
And my son too. I will not be saved because of my sins.
The truth was that I knew the truth.
I have already committed too many sins to make a wish to heaven. He killed many on the battlefield, put many to sleep outside the battlefield, and abandoned his remaining duties. It was a strange level to expect hope itself.
So it’s okay to give up now.
I can no longer force Lope to save me. Even if it’s my son, it’s a shameless thing to sacrifice and demand for someone who is in the middle of the day.
It would be better to hurry back to my son and think about how to spend the remaining time worthwhile.
Rogeria too. The Lopez couple too. I didn’t know that fact, so I met the worst ending. It is common sense in this world that if you do not value what you have in your hands, you will lose even what you already have.
According to that common sense, the action I had to take now was simple.
I nodded at Lope’s words, turned around and disappeared without regret.
It was the last thing I could do as an adult.
…
But I have always lived in a world of non-common sense.
His body was remodeled by the nation he devoted himself to, and he was abandoned by the family he loved. An unreasonable world forced to kill even on the island they left to find peace.
That world taught me a different lesson.
Rob or rob
Struggle rather than give up.
And drown in guilt.
Rules that were meant to be forgotten are re-established, and reason and common sense disappear into the shadows. And the dead men hold my ankles and shout like this.
You are no different after all.
I agreed and nodded my head. Then, the hardened determination spewed out of his mouth.
“Rope.”
“Captain.”
However, the child is intelligent and has already understood my intentions. Even though he had simply called his name, he seemed to have predicted what was about to happen in his voice and tone.
Unknowingly, the corner of my mouth went up. Is it self-help for yourself? Or, I don’t know if it’s the joy that the child I cherished has grown up. Breaking through the subtle ring of illusion, Lope said this in a desperate voice.
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do that, Captain.”
I looked at her and emphasized her again. He hadn’t heard a word yet, but he could tell in her eyes, in her voice, and in her trembling fingers what was coming. And she didn’t deny it either.
“I can’t help it.”
“No. We’ll just have to go our separate ways. We’re going to port. The captain’s going home. You know you have no choice.”
“No. You still have a choice, Lope. I just decided to give up.”
“No, I…”
“It’s rather me who has no real choice.”
She suddenly let out a self-deprecating laugh. And then I repeated what I had said.
“Oh my God, let’s go our separate ways. It’s a euphemism, but that’s too cruel. In the end, it’s the same as giving up everything.”
“You said it with your own mouth earlier.
“If I can’t convince you, then so be it.”
“My mind is already made up.”
“Yes. It looks like that even to me. That’s natural. The lover I love, the junior I cherish, and my son I’ve never seen before. Because it’s clear which one to pick out of the three.”
Giving obvious facts meant drawing irrational conclusions. And that this time was no exception.
“But Lope. You know. You can’t give up that easily.”
“Captain.”
“It’s not going to end just because we keep our distance now.”
“Then what should I do?”
I moved and covered Saya and Haru with my back. Then he looked into her eyes and said.
“Of these, who should give up for the sake of the captain’s son? The one who brought us the symbol? The one who followed us this far, even losing an arm? Or should I give it up too?”
“…”
“You said on the island that it’s up to me to choose who to take with me. But now you’re telling me to reconsider who to give up.”
“It sounds cruel even to me.”
“Why do you do that when you know it? You know that I don’t want to do this either.
Emotions were mixed in the calculated conversation. Suddenly everything felt savage, and a revulsion for the world came flooding back. When I was forced to choose, I hated this world that forced me to give up, and myself who had to live in that world.
“I don’t want to drag it on like this and give you false hope. That’s why I said it now. I don’t want to cause trouble anymore. I don’t want to burden my heart. You know that’s why I’m doing this.”
“Yes. I know.”
“But why do you do that? Do you think it’s easy to give up just because it’s me? You’re just doing it because I was told to choose something more precious.”
“I understand.”
“You’ll understand. You’ll understand. Everyone understands, and you know that I’m human too. Why the hell are you doing this? Why the hell why! Why are you only doing this to me!”
In the end, I screamed without even realizing it. Even though I knew that all of that was not Rebecca’s fault, my anger rose because her lips seemed to represent the will of the world. Why only me why the fuck me
Even in a crumbling world, do you have to keep giving up something?
Okay. Of course, everyone is giving up something. Rogeria was like that, Lena was like that, and Erica was like that too.
But I kept giving up even before the world became like this. You just lost what you had. So shouldn’t we stop giving up now?
Please can’t you do that?
“Isn’t it okay, Captain?”
“…”
I don’t know where I started spitting it out. Before I knew it, the heat was rising to the tip of my forehead. Rebecca said to me in a quiet voice.
“I’m sorry, Lope.”
“…”
“But I can’t help it.”
Eventually, she bowed her head in resignation. Then she said, slowly exhaling steam.
“I’ll tell all three of you. Give me the emblem right now.”
“Captain…”
“Otherwise I will kill Lope.”
“Stop it, Rebecca!”
Haru’s urgent voice pierced the air. But fate has already been decided.
“Do you really have to do this?”
“Count to three.”
“Captain, please…”
“One.”
“I told you not to do that, Rebecca… Ugh.”
“Two.”
“Haru. Don’t overdo it and stay still…”
“Three.”
While Haru struggled behind his back, the calm countdown ended. Even then, I looked ahead with a puzzled look on my face.
But she had made her choice. The next moment, her heavy metal knuckles rushed at me.
“Captain…!”
“Lope!”
And at the same time, Saya jumped in front of my sight.
Saya, who flew up into the air in an instant, trampled on Rebecca’s fist. Then she quickly turned around and kicked her in the face.
“…!”
“Ugh…”
However, Saya’s kick was not powerful enough to stop Rebecca. It wasn’t because of her lack of strength, but because Saya hesitated in the middle. Rebecca also said in an emotionless voice, as if she had realized that fact.
“Isn’t she still used to having human flesh crushed under her feet?”
“Ugh…”
“I was worried that you would be stained with violence. Rather, it made me afraid.”
“…That’s right. But if you’re going to kill Lope, I won’t hesitate.”
“I’m sure. But Saya. There’s a big difference between thinking and acting.”
“I am…”
“And I have no intention of hesitating.”
“Please stop!”
Saya screamed desperately and stretched her legs out. But Ms. Rebecca, dodging her kicks with anticipation, not her instincts, burrowed inside her. Then she threw her fist at the bewildered Saya.
At that moment, I pushed Saya aside and drew her sword.
“No!”
“Rope…!”
Haru and Saya both fell and screamed at the same time. But without hesitation, I swung Rebecca’s sword at Mr. Rebecca’s neck. Her swift sword stroke grazed her forehead, and a single drop of her blood splattered into the air.
“…!”
“…”
I watched it and walked slowly forward. And without looking back, he opened his mouth.
“Saya. Take care of the day.”
“But…”
“Please.”
“Whoa…”
Meanwhile, Ms. Rebecca corrected her posture and let out a sigh. Blood was still flowing from her torn wounds. She rubbed her wound with her rough hand and slowly raised her head.
“…”
Bright red blood flowed from one eye, and grayish oil flowed from the other, expressing a complex mix of emotions. But the expression on her face was just plain grim. Like her broken machine, she let go of the byproducts of her life and raised her fist in silence.
And I, too, raised my sword above my head. Although it had been a long time since I had drawn a sword, there was not an inch of shaking in my posture. The blade that had cut the flesh of so many people was now baring its teeth to sever the master’s throat.
…
Why can’t this world beautifully portray even the moment of giving up?
At the end of the irreversible regret, Rebecca’s last whisper echoed quietly.
“I’m sorry, Lope.”
