Chapter 34 – Too Late to Regret (1)
The blind girl’s eyes were deep. It was an untenable sentence, but at least that was the impression I got. Did a miracle of opening eyes happen without me knowing? I even heard unbelievable doubts.
Of course, what couldn’t happen was what couldn’t happen. As if something that will happen someday will surely happen someday. That was exactly what I was thinking when Rebecca came to visit me a few days ago. What will happen will happen someday.
That’s why I told Haru about the pattern that day. It’s a story that needs to be told if it’s not going to kick her out someday. Needlessly postponing it would only amplify the burden of the future.
Even so, I couldn’t help but hesitate until the moment I spoke. When I learned about the pattern, I couldn’t even guess what kind of nature Haru would reveal. There was even a possibility of pulling out a sword and aiming it at my throat.
However, the reaction Haru showed after that far exceeded my expectations. Thanks to that, my shoulders had no choice but to become heavier.
Because…
“…Day.”
“Yes. Dear senior.”
“Can’t we stay away from each other while eating?”
“Yes. I love you too.”
Since that day, it clings to my back and doesn’t think about falling.
I really thought I could see any reaction, but I never imagined it would come out like this. I was shocked by my story for a while, but Haru suddenly changed her posture and began to flatter me with a voice full of charm.
It would have been nice if the only thing that changed was his voice, but his behavior also changed. One day, with the excuse that she would sniff her, she listened to me to hug her whenever she met. Even while she’s eating, like she is now.
Was the obsession with survival really that bad? I thought so, but it wasn’t even that.
“You don’t have to do this. Why are you doing that?”
“But if you don’t do this, they won’t take you to the land of the elves.
“Do you want to receive the pattern that much?”
“I told you last time. It doesn’t matter if I die. I don’t think the elves will accept a half-penny like me. It’s just my dream to meet an elf at least once in my life.”
“Well…”
“If we meet, would you still hold my hand? Give me a hug? Maybe, would you let me smell you?”
“…Well.”
I couldn’t bear to say that I had already achieved my dream. When talking about her glyph, she hid her story about her for fear of harming Saya. One day, completely unaware of the fact, he continued to chatter.
“Oh, senpai said you’ve seen elves? How did you feel?”
“It was a long time ago, so I don’t remember.”
“Two months ago, how old is it? Anyway, that elf is also very ruthless. To leave right away after giving him a pattern.”
“So that’s what I mean.”
“I should have flirted with her. With our senior’s outstanding appearance and splendid speech, she would have surpassed any woman. Even an elf wouldn’t have been able to resist…”
“Ha…”
Even though I haven’t finished talking, I’m already tired of it. I eventually threw down the jerky I was holding and stood up.
“It goes out.”
“Yes? Where are you? I’m coming too.”
“I’m just guarding here. I’ll be back soon.”
“No. The one I want to protect is senior.
“…”
Is it a joke I shook my head at the story that I couldn’t even laugh at. A headache seemed to come.
“…Stop it. Lope seems to be getting tired of it.”
Then, with a clanking sound, Rebecca walked in. She frowned slightly as she tightened the screws on her wrist. One day, although I didn’t see that expression, she answered in a very irritated voice.
“I-ssi. It only happens to me again. Why do you keep fighting?”
“I’m not arguing, I’m telling the truth. Anyone can see that it’s annoying, but even if you can’t see, can’t you read the expression?”
“I don’t want to hear that from you. I know everyone hates you, but somehow it’s stuck here.”
“…”
Even after several days, Haru’s reaction was still cold. Nonetheless, Mr. Rebecca shrugged her shoulders without any hint of displeasure.
“As I said, I just want to be helpful anyway. So please don’t be too reluctant.”
“I want to be helpful. After all, your purpose is also an elf’s pattern.
“That’s not magic that can be stolen or stolen.”
“If you know that, then go now. Because senior doesn’t intend to be gracious to you.”
“I know. Maybe.”
Unlike Haru, it was an adult reaction. But even in her eyes, there was a hint of obsession. Although she hesitated many times, she did not deny that it was her goal anyway. She just can’t tee off.
Do you feel guilty about the fact that you need help from me?
It was an unknown fact unless they showed each other by flipping their brains open.
“After…”
I put my worries aside and stood up. It seemed that the pain in his legs was still the scars of the day. But I didn’t want to sit there like this.
“I’m leaving. Rebecca.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“No. It won’t take long. In the meantime, please protect Haru and this place.”
“Wow. Are you leaving me behind right now? Can’t I just go with you?”
“Stop talking. I’m not even a kid.”
“That’s right. Really…”
I heard two people arguing behind me. I put the noise behind me and picked up my coat. The dust that flew in the heavy weight was piled up in my lungs.
You need some fresh air. I went outside with just that thought in mind.
When I opened the door, the scent of forget-me-nots flowed in with the cold wind.
“…”
There she was, looking towards the sea with her dark blue eyes. Actually, it was a little far from the coast, so it was impossible to see the sea here, but that was only a human point of view. Maybe she can even smell the salty waves. Her tight, loose lips parted slightly, showing her white teeth, as if trying to contain her salt.
In Saya’s hand, she held the basket she had been carrying to pick up acorns. Of course, the inside was empty. Winter was already approaching to pick up acorns.
That probably wasn’t the purpose in the first place. Saya has also changed a lot since she brought up the story. All the while, she thought she’d better not interfere, but she felt that she couldn’t leave her alone any longer.
“Saya.”
“Hello, Lope.”
Perhaps because she had already heard me coming, Saya turned her head away without a hint of surprise.
“Well…”
I hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to say. Then, he tossed out a word that was lighter than a ginkgo seed.
“I’m going out for a while. Do you want to go with me?”
“Yes.”
Saya also gave a refreshing answer like the wind. Did he ever give me a negative answer? With trivial questions crumpled into our pockets, we started walking aimlessly.
There was no destination because there was no purpose. So we just walked aimlessly. Saya kept her mouth shut as if she was lost in thought, and I kept silent because I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Only then did I realize that I had no talent for aimless conversation. Everyday conversation that ordinary people do well seemed difficult to me. Even before this world came, I was always the listener. I hardly ever started talking.
Still, I felt obligated to say something. I thought about it for a bit, then finally opened my mouth.
“Buy it…”
“Rope.”
“Yes?”
“Look over there.”
Then Saya suddenly pointed somewhere. Then he said with a slight smile.
“It’s an acorn.”
“Ah.”
There was still
While I admired Saya, she crouched down and began to pick up the fallen acorns. They might be the last acorns in the world. I stood awkwardly and then went to Saya’s side.
But no matter how much I looked, I couldn’t find it. On the other hand, Saya skillfully picked out acorns to the extent that the basket was full before she knew it. If there were people like Saya in the world, all the squirrels in this land might have starved to death.
Is this the difference in talent? Feeling defeated in a strange place, I opened my mouth.
“You see that?”
“I can see it, I can smell it, I can feel it. I don’t think I can explain it.”
“You smell it?”
“Yes. Do you want to take care of it?”
Saya held the acorn up to my nose. But because of the scent from her hands, I couldn’t smell anything else.
“Um… I don’t know.”
“I see. I thought that even humans could handle this much.”
“Maybe we can’t do most of what you can.”
“It’s the same for me. There are things I can’t… I can’t do. Lope.”
With a slightly sad voice, the acorn in his hand fell. I should have picked it up again, but Saya’s hand grabbed another emotion instead. I looked at him and asked cautiously.
“Saya. Are you okay?”
“…Yes.”
“Really?”
“I don’t know.”
The answer that came after thinking about it was neither positive nor negative. The handle of my sword was still smeared with the marks of her hand. The memory of that moment seemed to clog the throat of the present.
“Buy it…”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes?”
“Lope. Are you okay?”
At that time, to become Saya, he asked me a question. I wondered if she was asking about the wound, so I blankly nodded her head.
“As for the wound, it’s okay now. It’s almost healed.”
“I’m not talking about that, Lope. I’m asking about something else.”
“Is it different?”
“So you… Are you really okay with cutting people down?”
“Ah…”
Only then did I understand what she meant. Saya pursed her lips, then sat down on her floor and hugged her knees.
“I didn’t know I’d feel that way until I tried it. If Rebecca hadn’t come that time, I wouldn’t have cut that person. I would have knocked someone’s head to the floor with my hands.”
“Don’t think like that.”
“I know. I know there’s no use thinking about it in a world like this. But I just can’t stop thinking about it.”
“…”
“Because you’ve been doing it all this time.”
Saya looked at me with sad eyes somewhere. That expression was very similar to the face he had when he was holding the sword in front of me that day.
“Maybe it hurts less because you can’t see the day. And Rebecca is a veteran, so she’ll have a lot of experience. Of course, they’re both not without inspiration, but you can see your eyes and you’re not a veteran. Are you really okay with that?”
“I’m okay.”
“Really?”
“…”
I was speechless. This situation where someone was worried about my innocence was so awkward. That there will be someone And I never thought I was the one who deserved it.
Meanwhile, my heart was at peace. For the first time that day, there was a moment when I was shaken by cutting someone in front of my eyes, but looking back, I couldn’t feel the emotions at that time. Because it is a heart that has been pierced a thousand times, maybe there is no part left to feel it.
I don’t know how Saya would have interpreted my expression like that. And the next moment she jumped out were words she didn’t want to hear from her.
“…I’m sorry Lope. I’m sorry I left you with such things.”
“Saya. Don’t do that.”
“I’m sorry I made you do that and I just hid…”
“Please don’t do that.”
Unknowingly, I grabbed her hand. I’m not sure what I was thinking. Saya twitched her eyebrows as if a little surprised, then turned her head away.
“Okay. I won’t talk about this.”
“I didn’t mean not to do it… I meant not to be sorry.”
“Why can’t I be sorry?”
“Um…What…”
“Why don’t you just treat me?”
…
I know.
It was a question I had heard before. Again, it was difficult to give a clear answer. I thought about it for a bit, and then I felt embarrassed and asked again.
“Why… Are you asking that?”
“Huh? That’s…”
This time it was Saya’s turn to panic. She opened her mouth and buried her face in her lap, which he embraced. Saya was just as immature as I was when it came to dealing with people normally.
Suddenly, the atmosphere seemed to be rapidly becoming awkward. A tingling sensation that I hadn’t felt in a long time surged in my stomach. Saya was also in a similar mood, and after not being able to continue her words for a long time, she finally opened her mouth.
“It’s been a while since the two of us came out together, so I guess I brought up a useless story. I’m sorry.”
“No. Wasn’t it…Longer than that?”
“Yeah. I think it was especially like that after Rebecca came.”
“Is it so…”
“But when we first met, we talked as if we didn’t have anyone important to us, but there were a lot of them. I think I did a good job of giving them to you.”
“Well…”
“But strangely, there were only women. Aren’t you close with boys?”
“Uh?”
When she was troubled by the word “She is an important person,” Saya brought up an embarrassing question. Even though it didn’t mean much, I answered as if it was an excuse.
“It’s not like that.”
“Really? Then, do you know any boys?”
“Uh…Roman…?”
“As expected, there was one. But who is that? A kid from my class?”
“Um…Probably…Not.”
It was an answer that made no sense at all. Even Roman’s face was blurred. For some reason, I felt burdened by Saya’s staring eyes, so I stared at the floor for no reason. Then, miraculously, an acorn stood out.
“I found one too. Is this right?”
“Yeah. Acorns are right. But they’re rotten, so they’re hard to eat.”
“Sorry.”
I tried to throw an acorn without thinking. But then, her bright yellow blonde hair swayed lightly in front of her eyes.
“But it’s okay. In fact, the elf’s breath has the ability to bring dead plants back to life.”
“Do you have that ability?”
“Yes. Shall I show you?”
Saya took the acorn from my hand and held it in front of her eyes. Then, with sincerity, he breathed into it.
At that moment, the delicate fragrance of forget-me-nots permeated deep into the lungs along with the smell of acorn soil. For some reason, feeling dizzy, I tried to sneeze without even realizing it. Again, the tickling sensation brushed his nose, and tears welled up in his eyes.
Saya’s face was visible through the moist eyes. Seeing her concentrating with her red lips sticking out like strawberries made her stomach churn for no reason. I felt like I was going to sneeze a little longer.
Eventually I closed my eyes and slowly opened them when Saya’s breathing stopped. But the acorns were still the same. I felt puzzled and tilted my head.
“I think it’s still the same?”
“Yes.”
“Is something wrong?”
“Sorry. It was just a joke.”
Then Saya smiled shyly. Then, scratching his cheek with an embarrassed expression, he asked softly.
“Wasn’t it fun?”
“Well…”
Even the one who made a joke. It was the first time the person who received it had such an experience, so I didn’t know what to do. I followed Saya, awkwardly scratching her chin, then cleared my throat and stood up.
“Shall we go?”
“Let’s go.”
It was the worst reaction I could think of myself, but Saya jumped up after me as if she was rather grateful for that. For some reason, I felt that my eyeballs were tickling, so I rubbed my eyes with his hand. However, no matter how much he moved his hand, it seemed that the shy smile he had seen earlier would not be erased.
Even on the way back, there wasn’t much conversation. Still, I didn’t feel as awkward as before. Rather, time passed quickly, and I hadn’t walked far before I saw the shape of a large roof.
But before that, I saw Rebecca lying on the floor. Is there anything I raised her voice towards her.
“Miss Rebecca? Why are you here?”
“I was kicked out.”
“Yes?”
“They said they’d kick her ass if it wasn’t turned off right away…”
I sighed at the sight of him sitting there like an abandoned puppy. It seemed that the fatigue came back all of a sudden.
“Um… Shall I go and talk to Haru?”
“Will you please?”
“Okay. Come in slowly.”
Saya must have noticed my mood and quickly ran towards the house. In the meantime, Rebecca was still sitting in the grass with a nonchalant expression.
“You don’t have to listen straight away when he says he’s out.”
“But he’s a good boy. I’ll have to listen.”
“Because you don’t have to.”
Is Haru nice or is Rebecca generous? It was a difficult challenge to define.
“Rather than that, let’s go in now. I’m almost healed, so I need to talk about future work.”
“It’s about to happen. It’s about that girl named Roselia.”
“Yes. If it’s short, 1 week. Or, since they said the ship will come in 2 weeks, we need to secure Roselia.”
“She says she’s at the academy. She’s going back there?”
“It should be.”
“I hope you don’t set off any bombs this time.”
She told jokes that I could never laugh at. I replied nonchalantly without even smiling.
“I don’t intend to go alone, so Rebecca-san can dry it. Or let the other two dry it.”
“They think they’re going too.”
“I’ll know when things come to a close, but I don’t intend to split up now. I think that might be dangerous.”
“Well… That blind girl will take care of herself. Maybe.”
It was a very heartfelt answer. However, one person’s name was missing.
“I hope Saya will do well too.”
“I’m not worried about elves.”
“Still, I think I’ll have to teach him some self-defense. Maybe there’s a dangerous situation.”
“Don’t do anything crazy.”
“No matter how perfectly you plan, dangerous situations will happen. But I don’t think we’ll be separated…”
“No. Not that.”
Then, suddenly, a heavy voice was heard. Before I knew it, Ms. Rebecca got up from her seat and was looking down at me. She spoke once again with her face hidden in her shadow.
“Don’t ever think about telling an elf about that.”
