Chapter 37
After spending the morning at leisure, when it was almost noon, I started to prepare lunch with the ingredients I had bought yesterday.
I was planning to make an omelette, so it didn't take long. I heated up the leftover rice from last night and laid it out on the table, and Toramasa casually helped me carry it to the table.
Every time I see such kindness, I like …….
I am overflowing with love, and even though I'm about to eat lunch, I can't help but want to touch Toramasa.
I want to touch him more. I want to touch Toraga and feel Toraga.
I try to resist these feelings and when we sit down, we say hello to each other and eat our meals together.
I am so happy that he eats the food I prepare in front of him.
I was happy that they ate it yesterday, and I am just as happy now, maybe even more so.
I'm so happy I could say it over and over again, and Toraga looking cool …… as he eats his meal. I'm sure it's not my imagination that I look better looking than I did yesterday. Toraga's coolness is updated every day ……. Amazing.
I stopped eating unintentionally, heart pounding, and gazed entranced at Toraya as he ate his meal.
'What's your lucky day?' How jokingly I said to Toramasa, “I was admiring Toramasa's better looking than yesterday,” to which Toramasa said, “Really?” and smiled at me.
His smile was cool, but it also looked like an innocent smile like a child would show, and I involuntarily held both of my eyes as Toramasa showed me a different expression every few seconds.
'Toraga-san is so nice, I'm crying……
'You're still crying?
The most important thing to remember is that you can't just take a look at the pictures and say, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not going to do that. I am confident that I can cry.
The swelling will get worse.
The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you look at it,” he said.
I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to get a good deal on the newest and most popular products and services. It's not a surprise, is it? Is he really my boyfriend?
I have a weird feeling that I really feel it, or I don't feel it. ……
Because the person I love most in the world, the best, the coolest, and everything that is ideal for me is now my boyfriend (heart). Can you believe it right away?
I believe it, but I wonder if it's really okay for him to go out with me. I wonder if Toraga's value won't go down?
Because Toraga is a flower of high honor, but I am as different from him as a weed blooming on the side of the road…. Moon and trionychid turtle….
Oh, I'm starting to feel sad, so let's calm down a little.
I let out a small breath and move the spoon in my hand.
As I silently concentrate on eating the rice in front of me, I suddenly notice Toramasa's gaze on me and look up.
I swallowed what was in my mouth, blinked a few times and opened my mouth, admiring Toraya's coolness as he looked at me with a smile on his mouth.
'Is there something on ……?'
I unintentionally return the same question as Toramasa, and touch my cheek with my hand to check.
The first thing to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you're looking for.
I was relieved that there was nothing on my face, but at the same time, I felt my face heat up when I realized that he was looking at me even though there was nothing on my face.
When I am with Toraga, my body temperature is higher than usual. It's hard in the summer, but it would be convenient in the winter. I thought to myself.
Tora Ya's diet and Tora Ya's heating …… or is it a body warmer?
The temperature outside is still hot and autumn hasn't come yet, but I might use that method to keep warm when winter comes…. I secretly made up my mind and nodded my head in affirmation.
If I were to cook a meal next time, what would I make?
I've made Western and Japanese dishes, so maybe Chinese next?
Chinese stir-fry with green pepper? Shrimp chili? Small package? Tenshinhan, fried rice ……? At any rate, I'd like to try making all of them.
Thinking about the dishes I can make and the dishes I want to try, I think about what I want to make. I thought about what I could make and what I wanted to try, and opened my mouth as I looked at Toraya.
I looked at Toramasa and asked, “Toramasa, is there any food other than spicy food that you don't like?
When I asked Toraya before, he said spicy food, but there may be others.
After hearing my question, Toramasa stopped moving his hand, looked at the air for a while, and replied, “Nothing in particular.
I don't like pak choi either! And I can eat celery, too, but I don't eat it willingly.
Me neither.”
I'm not good at the same things as Toraga, and my voice got unintentionally louder.
I'm not sure what to do with the rest of it. The actuality is that the actuality is that the actuality is not really a good thing.
The actual “I'm not a fan of the newest and most popular” type of shoes, but I'm not a big fan of the newest and most popular.
What is your favorite food, Toramasa-san?
I ask again to reconfirm. When I asked him before, he said he didn't have a particular favorite food, but maybe he has developed a favorite food. And if I'm going to make something, I want to make something that Toramasa wants to eat.
While waiting for Toramasa's reply, I spread the ketchup on top of the omelette with a spoon, then scoop a mouthful with the spoon.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Toraya putting the last bite into his mouth, placing the spoon on the plate, crossing his arms, and wrinkling his brow deeply as if he is troubled.
The last bite of the spoon is placed on the plate and his arms are crossed, his brow wrinkled deep in worry.
I looked at him and he said, “I like everything you make, …….”
He didn't smile, but said that with a serious expression on his face, so I knew that those words weren't flattery, but were words that Toramasa was seriously thinking about.
He is great …… because he says these words without hesitation.
There is no one who wouldn't be pleased to be told such a thing by the person they love. The first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing.
“It's …… not fair. The most important thing to remember is that you should not be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family.
The first thing to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you want to do.
Do you not like my cunning?”
I glanced into Toramasa's eyes as he asked such a question, then shook my head a little to the side.
'……I would love it if you were this kind of cunning.'
I said this and shifted my overlapping hands a little, intertwining my own fingers with Toraya's fingers as I did the same with his.
I'll keep cooking until Toramasa-san says he's tired of my food.
We have a long way to go.
I hope so.”
I looked at him with a smile on my face, and he looked at me with a smile on his face as well.
Now it is just right to speak in such a joking manner.
This is the best we can do as students.
But there was not a single joke in the words that were not even verbally agreed upon.
—-
After dinner, I washed the dishes with Toraga. Afterwards, we went back to the sofa and looked at the programs Toramasa had recorded and talked about which ones we should watch. We talked about what we wanted to watch, and decided to watch a movie that Toramasa had seen and found interesting.
The movie was an action movie, which Toraya seemed to like, and even though it had just started, it kept taking unexpected turns one after the other, making me very nervous.
As I couldn't take my eyes off the movie, Toraya gently placed a drink and some snacks on the table, and I sipped the drink while thanking him.
I sip my drink as I thank him. I quenched my thirst, thinking vaguely that it was Toramasa's drink ……, since Toramasa often drinks Coke.
It's been about an hour since the movie started. Just as the movie was about halfway through, a scene was played in which the main male character and his female lover talked about their love.
It is a common scene. The kind of scene where two lovers talk about their love in a movie, and it creates an awkward atmosphere in the theater.
Toraga and I have seen this kind of scene several times in movies.
At that time, I was looking at the TV screen, saying that it was an important scene and concentrating on the movie, even though the atmosphere was a little awkward, but I was very conscious of Toramasa sitting next to me.
So this time, too, I was concentrating on the movie. I was trying to keep my eyes on the TV screen, but Toramasa stroked my hand, which was hugging the pillow.
Even though I was trying not to be conscious of it, my brain was occupied with Toraga, and the touch startled me and I shook my body.
I looked at Toraya, my face reddening and my eyes rolling back in my head, and saw him leaning back on the sofa looking at me.
I could not read what he was thinking from his expression.
He was still looking straight at me, and his hand, which had been touching my hand, slowly touched my cheek. Then his hand moves back to touch my shoulder and he pulls me toward him.
My body is leaning toward Toraya as if it were falling under the force of his hand. My heart was pounding and aching, and I was so tense that I couldn't move or breathe as I wanted to.
All I can do is hug the pillow as if to ask for help.
I did want to touch Tiger Masa, but I was told that I shouldn't do this kind of thing that puts too much strain on my heart. …… This kind of skinship, which is a bit different from before, kills my heart.
I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do with it, but I'm going to have to try.
All I can do is look at the wrinkles in Toraga's clothes, and since I'm in a weird position, my body screams and shivers a little.
Seeing me like this, Toraga moves his power a little closer to me and rearranges my position, and I finally feel like I can breathe properly.
I tried to think of pi in my brain to calm my mind, but no matter how hard I tried, I could only remember 3.1415, and I kept muttering that same number over and over in my brain.
The next time I have a heart attack, I might pass out or worse, my heart might stop. ……
A joke, but not-so-jokey thought passed through my head.
'Don't strain yourself.'
Toramasa said to me as my whole body was straining in vain.
I was not easily relaxed. I was not able to relax easily.
Wait, wait, please.
I managed to voice my desire to relax my body, and after making some minor adjustments to my position, I put my head on Toraya's shoulder and relaxed my whole body little by little.
The actual “I'm not sure what to do” is the most important thing to do, but it's a good idea to do it.
“……Toraga-san abuses my heart like that…….”
I covered my face with my hands while imitating crying silently, and then Toramasa said to me, “Well, let's leave,” and Toramasa's hands almost left my shoulders. Instantly, the part of me that is natural and innocent comes out of my face.
I hastily removed my hands from my face and grabbed Toraga's hands that were about to move away from me tightly and said, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I don't want to! I'm sorry for being an innocent! I apologized desperately, shaking my head.
Seeing my reaction, Toramasa held my face with his free hand and shook my shoulder.
My heart aches with nervousness, but I am happy to be touched by Toraga! I don't want to leave you! I miss you!”
I'll keep my hand like this. Keep your hands like this.
“Thank you, ……. Toraga-san's hands are very warm. I like it.
“……, I like you too.”
Ugh, I'm having a heart attack. ……
Why?
The most important thing is that you should be able to see the difference between the two.
The most important thing to remember is that you can't be too careful when it comes to your health and wellbeing. Live or die. ……
“I'm the only one who's nervous …….”
The most important thing to remember is that you can't just take a look at the pictures of the people who are going to be in the room with you.
Now I would be giving Tiger Masa a great funny face ……. The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you do it,” he said, “but I'm not a fan of the way you do it either.
What are you doing?
I narrowed my eyes and said this in protest, and Toramasa cleared his throat, laughed, and then opened his mouth.
Do you think I'm not nervous?”
I looked at Toraga, whose narrowed eyes were wide open and the corners of his mouth turned up, and he moved his hand from between his cheeks and turned my face toward the TV.
Then, the awkward scene had just ended.
Even though I had not seen the scene where they talked about love, the story was still connected, and my eyes were glued to the TV again.
Toraga's hand slipped away from my cheek. His hand held mine in a natural way.
I held the pillow with one hand and leaned against Toraga's shoulder, his hand on my shoulder.
I thought I was going to die of embarrassment, but I was surprised to find myself able to accept it as if it were a normal thing.
But the surprise soon fades, and instead, a sense of relief gradually wells up inside me.
Toraga is next to me. I am in his heart. I am in Toraya's heart. Toraya touches me like this and accepts me.
I wonder why ……. I am not sure if I am right or not, but I am sure that I am right.
I'm sure I'm right. I know that in the arms of the person I love is the most important, special, secure, and protective place.
So I think it is natural to want to protect that arm and the person you love. ……
I want to see the happy smile of the person I love.
That's all you need as a driving force. That's all I need to do.
I want to do and find everything that makes Toraga happy.
I want Toramasa to feel the happiness and peace of mind that I feel now.
First of all, what can I do for Toramasa? What can I give back to him?
When I thought about this, I remembered the time we had dinner and smiled to myself.
I will learn to cook so many dishes that he will never think I am bored. That's what I thought.
Because Toraga said he liked it. There is nothing else I can do now, so I will do my best.
I hope I can do more for Toramasa one by one.
I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not, but I'm sure it's something I can do.
—-
The end rolls on the TV.
I was satisfied with the movie, which did not betray my expectations until the very end, and while talking to Toramasa about how the main character's actions were great and how cool the action scenes were, I pulled my body away from Toramasa and lifted my arms up and stretched.
I look at my watch and see that it is half past two.
I really want to stay over today, but if I stay too long, I won't be able to spend much time with my family, and my parents won't think well of me.
So I decided to spend tomorrow, Sunday, with my family.
I've made up my mind, but I feel like my heart is about to be shaken.
I don't want to go home.
I exhale to let out the feelings of sadness.
I wish summer vacation would come back again.
Even if I thought so, the summer vacation of a high school sophomore will never come back. If it comes, it will be winter vacation.
This temperature that still feels hot will gradually get colder and colder, and then autumn will come and winter will come. Autumn will come and go in the blink of an eye. Maybe it is because we have just entered September, but I cannot believe that next month will be October.
Then comes November, and then December.
It's strange that it will be cold in about three more months. Three months seems so short to me now.
I have only six months left to spend at school with Toraga, since the graduation ceremony is in March at …….
The first time I went to the school, I was in the middle of the night.
I'm getting sad because I don't want to go back to ……, so why am I thinking about something that will make me even sadder?
You shake your head a little and try to forget what you were thinking about.
Don't think about the future, think about the present.
I want to cherish the time I spend with Toramasa so that I can see him as much as possible.
It would be a waste to be sad when Toramasa is right next to you.
I nodded my head and looked at Toramasa next to me, and our eyes met.
Is that a hundred faces?
I made a funny noise and turned my face away from his finger.
The finger left my cheek, and as I held my hand on the touched cheek, I said, “If you were looking at me, please tell me you were looking at me,” in a strange protest voice, to which he replied, “Then you should tell me too.
I'm watching!”
I know.”
That's right. I was looking right at him. Am I an idiot? Yes, I was an idiot.
I wrinkled my brow at my own stupidity, closed my eyes, and put on an indescribable expression.
Then I returned to a normal expression for a while, drank the juice that was on the table, and looked at Toraga as he changed the TV to a normal program.
He put his glass down on the table and leaned back against the back of the sofa, when Toraya opened his mouth while watching the TV.
We're going somewhere next week?”
At these words, I raised my body and leaned forward to look into the face of Toraya, who was standing beside me.
Toraya, who was resting his elbows on the armrests of the sofa and resting his chin on his cheekbones, looked at me and then back at the front of the sofa.
He looked somewhat embarrassed, and my thoughts of what might happen if someone found out, or if I had made Toraya feel uncomfortable, were blown away. I was unconsciously saying, “I want to go out! I said.
Hearing my reply, Toramasa turned his face in my direction, narrowed his eyes, and slightly raised the corners of his mouth.
He turned his head in my direction, narrowed his eyes, and slightly raised the corners of his mouth, “Is there anywhere you want to go?
I want to go somewhere, Toramasa-san!
I'm asking you, …….”
The first thing to do is to make sure that you have a good time with your family and friends.
The most important thing to remember is that you can't go to a place that you don't want to go to. I can't think of any particular place that I definitely want to go, so I'm going to list a few common date spots in my mind.
But really, if Toraga were with me, I wouldn't mind going to any place, and I would enjoy any place.
So the places I want to go are places that don't seem to have a lot of students, aren't in a neighborhood, and are either extremely crowded or have very few people. I want to go somewhere where I won't run into anyone I know, where I can enjoy myself with Toramasa, and where I won't have to spend a lot of money.
When I thought about it, I deleted the standard date spots from my brain.
So far, the first time I met Toraga outside was at a family restaurant, pancakes, the beach, RED, and a fireworks display …….
Oh, would it be somewhat deceiving if I put on some makeup?
The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have the best makeup you can because you can't ask Endo to do it over and over again, but it's better than not doing it.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that you need to be able to see the difference between the two.
I didn't say that to embarrass you.
I'm fine. I understand.
I see.
I'm not sure how much I can do to help you. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to go to a restaurant or not, but I'm sure it's a good idea to go to a restaurant. So I want to go everywhere, and there are lots of places I want to go.'
The actual “I'm not sure what to do with it,” he said, “but I'm sure it's something you'll be able to do with it.
Where's this place …… where we don't see each other's acquaintances?”
Where is it? I think he might be around the …… station area.
I guess so.”
After some back and forth, the final answer was to go to the shaved ice store that was talked about a little while ago.
The reason being that it is located a bit out of town and there are not likely to be any students there.
If it had been summer vacation, there might have been some people who went there, but it was almost the end of summer in September.
There was no guarantee that we wouldn't run into anyone, but we chose a place where we wouldn't run into anyone as much as possible.
I'm looking forward to it. We talked about how much we were looking forward to it, and the time passed by.
The time I spend with Toraga goes by so quickly. I wish I could stay with him longer, but if I stay any longer, I'm afraid I'll say out loud that I want to stay over again today.
As I was packing my bag and checking to see if I had forgotten anything, Toraga, who had been sitting quietly on the sofa watching my actions, stood up, moved over to me, and hugged me from the front.
There were no words. I felt as if he was asking me not to leave, and tears began to well up in my eyes.
I'll see you next week at …….
Until then, I'll be spending my time at school, trying my best to sneak a peek at Toramasa.
Ah.
Next week.
“I wish …… next week would come soon.
“I guess so.”
I'll miss …….
“I miss you too,…….”
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have a new job, but I'm sure it's a good idea to have a new job.
In the process, I looked at Toraga's face, and Toraga and I met each other's gaze.
We looked at each other for a while, and then Toraya's face gently moved closer to mine. My body moves before I can think. I quietly close my eyes and feel the warmth of Toraya's lips against mine in the darkness.
As I stare at Toraga's face in front of me, my mind gradually catches up with me, my heart pulses loudly, and heat gathers in my face.
Toraga, who was watching me change in front of him, laughed softly, which was somewhat embarrassing and tickling me, and I pressed my own face against Toraga's chest to hide my face.
'……Toramasa, I like you.
I like you too.”
The loneliness that made me feel like crying faded away.
After spending a while hugging each other until I left, I finally left Toramasa's house and headed for my parents' waiting house under the sky that was turning orange, treasuring the combination of warmth and loneliness I was feeling.
