Chapter 14
It's 7:30 in the morning. I was sitting on the sofa at Toraga's house, holding a hugging pillow.
I had bought this hugging pillow for today by myself yesterday, and when I came in, Toraya was surprised to see it and said, “What's that? Toraya was surprised to see this hugging pillow when he came in.
Because when you watch horror movies, you want to hug something…. And I feel bad to use the cushion from Toraga's house every time….
I said something like that in my brain without responding to anyone and turned my gaze to Toraya who was sitting beside me, feeling the fluffy texture of the long, thin, black cuddle pillow.
Toraya's hair was slightly damp, as if he had taken a bath before I came over…. I like it…. I feel like I'm going to get a fever when I feel sexy after taking a bath…. Because if you think about it, just a little while ago Toramasa was completely naked…in the bath …………my thoughts are burning out …………this is something I shouldn't think about…… …. Just imagining it makes my nose bleed….
I'm also coming over today after taking a bath and finishing dinner at my own house so as not to bother Toramasa.
I brought clothes for sleeping apart from the ones I wore, so I have to change, and I also have to brush my teeth, but at worst I can go to bed like this. Thank you again for your help today, Sofa Paisan.
It's only thirty minutes until the much-anticipated ghost show starts. Normally, I would be waiting impatiently for my favorite horror show to start, but now that Toraga is here, the time seems to be passing much faster.
I am not so much concerned about the horror as I am about Toraga who is sitting next to me.
Normally I would have gone home by now, but now I am at Toraga's house and he is sitting next to me.
I can't believe this reality and I keep looking at Toramasa as if to confirm it.
Toramasa is looking at the TV and eating the cake I bought for him. Toramasa eating the shortcake is so cute and adorable that it makes my heart tighten.
I made up my mind to bring sweets when I go to Toramasa's house from now on. It makes me so happy to know that my guess is eating something I bought for him…. I am able to give Toraga energy to live…. It's the best….
What he is eating is a shortcake, the royalty of cakes. He eats the strawberries first…….so cute….
What is it?”
Toraga noticed my gaze and turned to me and said so.
He's so handsome. I really do get the impression that Toraga is good-looking every time I see his face. Because he's so handsome.
I hugged my pillow back tighter and tighter and said, “I think Toramasa is cute when he eats cake…” I said. It's so cute. As I said it, I reconfirmed how cute he was, and I couldn't help but smirk.
Toramasa didn't say anything in response to my words and picked my nose.
Pie, my nose! It hurts, but! Happiness! Toramasa's beautiful fingers are picking my nose…. I love it! I can feel Toraga's body heat through my nose. It's so warm….
With my cheeks reddening and being plucked without hiding it, I said, “What are you doing? I said, and Toramasa smiled, showing his teeth, as if he thought my voice was funny.
I'm not fair to say that he has a cute smile too….
When I said this in an annoyed tone, Toraya smiled again and replied, “I see…” Toramasa smiled again and replied, “I see.
I am happy to see Toramasa's smile. I was happy to see Toraya laughing at my actions.
Thirty minutes really does fly by.
I straightened my posture and turned my eyes to the TV as the TV showed a psychic program.
It's starting!
I guess so.”
I said to Toramasa, unable to contain my excitement, and I silently concentrated on the TV for the rest of the show.
The images of horror on the TV made me say, “Oh my God! No way…!” I was watching the TV, talking to myself, when I was suddenly poked in the side of my body.
I shook my body in shock at the sudden incident and looked at Toraga, the person who had poked me in the side, with an astonished expression on his face.
What are you doing all of a sudden…?”
I raised my voice in protest to Toraya, while his smile involuntarily stained my cheeks.
Then Toraya kept his smile and said, “Your reaction was so funny that I just wanted to take care of you. He patted my head.
I like you.
You can poke my side as much as you want. If I can see Toraga's smile, I'll put my body on the line as much as I can. I would do anything to see that smile. But then again, Toraga is getting more handsome by the day…. The growth of my guess pinpoints my heart. It is a wonderful growth. I can't take my eyes off such growth. Thank you very much.
As I was unintentionally worshipping toward Toraga, Toraga said, “Stop.” and grabbed my arm to make me stop. He grabbed my arm. I love it.
It had been an hour since the start of the two-hour ghost show.
When it reached the middle of the show, there was a section of ghost photos.
It was a little quiz, where the ghosts were in the program. I was also watching the TV as I earnestly searched for the ghosts. Actually, I am very good at this.
I don't get it at all.
Toramasa let out a cry as he saw the images of ghost photos on the TV screen.
I had already found it, so I pointed to the TV and said, “There it is! I said, “There it is!
–I touched Toramasa's arm very naturally.
I didn't realize for a moment that I had placed my hand on Toraya's arm.
Where am I touching now? I looked at my own hand with a startled expression on my face.
I looked at my hand and saw that my hand was indeed touching Toraga's arm.
My heart was pounding.
I couldn't believe it when I realized that I had touched Toraya unconsciously.
I had touched him on the cheek when he confessed to me that he had used me before, and I had consciously touched him when I was menstruating and after Ki-kun came to visit me the other day. However, I had never touched Toramasa unconsciously.
The distance between me and Toramasa is getting closer and closer…. I am afraid to touch him, but I touched him unconsciously….
The distance between me and Toraga, which I had set for myself, was gradually breaking down. I was afraid of myself when I realized this.
I hurriedly removed my hand from Toramasa's arm, and he grabbed my wrist with a firm grip.
“Uh, ah…”
I let out a strange voice.
My hands naturally trembled, either from fear of myself or nervousness. I tried to stop my hand from trembling, but even though it was my own body, it wouldn't listen to me. I grabbed my arm with my other hand and tried to control the shaking as much as I could, but it still wouldn't stop.
My mind went blank.
My brain, a mixture of various emotions, couldn't think of any good way to deal with the situation, so I just stayed where I was and stopped moving.
Toraga stared at me, and then he put his hand on the one holding my arm and let my hand touch his arm again.
My trembling hand touched Toraga's arm. I did not resist and just watched him.
You can touch me.”
I said, “You can touch me.
I was so excited to see him, but I didn't know what to do.
I want more of your touch.”
I opened my eyes wide as Toraga said these words to calm me down.
Tears naturally streamed down my cheeks. The tears flowed silently and stained Toraya's clothes.
I could have let go of Toraya's arm, but I couldn't, because his arm was no longer in my grasp.
As my trembling hands grip Toraga's arm, I replay Toraga's words in my brain.
Please don't say such sweet words to me. I shouted in my mind.
Please don't make me get my hopes up.
If you say such things to me, I will get my hopes up. I will be miserable later.
If the person I love so much says such a thing to me, I won't be able to hold myself back. I want to stand next to Toraga even though all I wanted to do was to watch his back and be a little supportive.
Oh, God. I really think he's the one who–
I love him.”
As those words fell out of my mouth, Toraya's arms around me tightened.
I cried aloud in Toraga's arms. I tried to hold back my voice, but I couldn't stop it. Like a child, I couldn't stop crying as I said I loved him.
I just keep crying and crying…. All I do is cause trouble.
Toraga put me on his lap and held me and rubbed my back like a parent holding a child.
It felt good, and I felt relieved that he didn't hate me, so my tears gradually stopped.
Even though I was sitting on Toraga's lap, my eyelids began to grow heavy and I blinked slowly over and over again.
Toraya must have noticed my condition, because he asked me, “Do you want to go to bed?” Toraya noticed my condition and asked me if I wanted to go to bed.
I nodded my head in reply.
Then Toraya stood up with me in his arms, took me to the washroom, stood me in front of the sink, took out a new toothbrush and offered it to me.
I took the toothbrush from him and brushed my teeth without telling him I had a toothbrush in my bag.
Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I finished brushing my teeth, and before I knew it, Toraya had brought my bag.
I took a change of clothes out of the bag, closed the door, changed and left the bathroom. As I left the bathroom, Toraga, who was standing by the door, started to walk out holding me again.
I feel like a child. I thought in my sleepy consciousness.
When I returned to the living room, Toraya turned off the TV and the lights in the living room, and I strained to get down.
What's wrong?”
Toramasa asked me, questioning my attempt to get down from his arms.
I tried to get off the sofa…” Toraga asked me as I tried to squeeze out my voice. I tried to get off the sofa,” I told Toraya as if I was trying to squeeze out my voice.
What about the sofa?
I'm sleepy, so I'm going to sleep.”
Toramasa ignored my words and went on his feet.
After a desperate attempt to resist, I was brought to a bedroom.
The place where Toraya always sleeps. It is a prohibited area. I had entered that place.
He gently lowered me onto the bed and laid me down, and Toraya lay down next to me.
I was going to sleep on the sofa. I had not expected to be in Toraya's bedroom, so I turned my back to him and shrunk my body to make my presence as small as possible.
I was too sleepy to move my body. I was a little thankful for the sleepiness that was so unparalleled that it was like dozing off at school.
If I were me as usual, I would definitely run away from the bedroom and try to sleep on the sofa. But now I have the excuse that I'm sleepy.
Gently, Toraga hugged me.
Like hugging a pillow.
I feel Toraya's body heat on my back. Toraya's arms are touching me.
I had been held in Toraya's arms several times before, but this was a different situation from before, and I cried again.
I feel that Toraya does not love me even though he is so close to me and even though he does this to me. I was so nervous that my heart would burst at the mere thought of him doing this to me, but I could feel his heart beating regularly on my back.
It was so sad and painful.
My heavy eyelids reached their limit and closed completely.
I wanted to feel Toraya's body heat more. I may never have such a feeling again. I wanted to get up and look at Toraga.
But my brain wouldn't allow me to stay awake.
I put my hand on Toraya's arm to at least realize that this was not a dream but reality.
I could feel Toraya's body heat from my palm. His skin. They were not a dream. I made sure that they were all real.
Good night. I heard Toraga's voice whispering softly in my ear.
I have no memory of what happened next. I reached my limit and left for the dream world.
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
I understood that it was morning by the light coming in from outside the window.
With my sleepy brain, I woke up my upper body and looked around. I realized that the place was not my room, and at the same time I remembered yesterday. At that moment, my face turned bright red.
I had done something terrible. I fell asleep next to Toraga in his bed. That's not all. I had caused him trouble, I had touched him myself, he had held me, and he had hugged me before I went to bed.
Now Toraga is not next to me. Still, there are traces of someone sleeping there.
I let out an inarticulate voice, and with a combination of regret, happiness, and various emotions, I clutched my head and writhed on the spot.
I was embarrassed to face Toraga….
Still, I couldn't stay here forever, so I quietly got off the bed and left the bedroom.
When I opened the door to the living room, I could smell the baking smell of bread. That smell made me feel that it was morning.
You're awake?
I blinked my eyes several times and looked in the direction of his voice and there he was, standing in the kitchen.
…… am I still dreaming?
Good morning?”
I tilted my head and said to Toraya, “Good morning. He greeted me with a “Good morning.
No, I can't think straight.
I pressed my finger on my temple and looked at Toramasa again.
Toraya was standing in the kitchen looking at me. I checked and pinched his cheek. Yes, I wasn't dreaming.
I looked at the TV to see what time it was and saw that it said 7:30.
Wow, it's been a long time since I woke up this early on a day off. ……
I was standing there with a blank stare, not really understanding what was going on.
I was standing there, staring blankly, not understanding what was going on. He looked into my face and picked his nose.
At that moment, my brain woke up at once.
Yes, I just woke up!
I see.”
Toraga said with an amused smile at my flustered and flustered face, which was turning bright red.
I was so happy to wake up and see Toraga first….
I am sure that the reason my vision is moistened is not only because Toraya picked my nose.
As soon as Toramasa removed his hand from my nose, I opened my mouth to apologize for yesterday's incident, “Toramasa-san. I opened my mouth to apologize for yesterday's incident. However, he replied, “I won't listen to your apology.
If you want an apology, I won't listen to it.
Toraya looked me straight in the eye and said in a tone of voice that said nothing. Toraya seemed to know what I was going to say …….
The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you do it,” he said, “but I'm not a fan of the way you do it either.
The first time I saw him, I thought he was going to be a good friend. He asked me as if to divert me from the subject.
I didn't understand what he was talking about for a moment, and I couldn't reply immediately.
Breakfast…? Breakfast, you mean breakfast?
I wondered if the smell of bread could mean that Toramasa had baked it.
Without waiting for me to say anything, Toraya moved and put a plate on the dining table.
Toast, ham and eggs, salad, and onion soup.
I looked at the two plates, one for Toramasa and one for me. Seeing the two side by side, I held my heart.
I was so happy that I didn't know what to say.
Toramasa really is a genius at making me happy. He even prepared breakfast for someone like me…. Wait, I can't stop crying tears of gratitude.
Because Toraga moved and made breakfast for me, you know? How can I not be moved by this? I love it.
Aren't you going to sit down? I heard such a voice and looked up, but before I knew it, Toramasa had taken a seat and was waiting for me. I'm sorry, I didn't do anything. I had to help Toramasa. I mean, I was the one who had to make the breakfast, not Toraya. But I'm too afraid to give Toramasa what I made.
I sat down, still in disbelief at the situation, and as I looked at Toramasa in front of me, I clasped my hands together and said, “Itadakimasu.” I then posed with my fingers crossed and my eyes closed in prayer to God.
God…I thank you for everything. I love everything, I love everything.
No matter what happens, I will not forget this day. I will have a meal prepared by Toraga. It will be the first and the last. But I am fine with it being the last. I thank Toraya for giving me so much happiness.
This breakfast made by Toraya must have been made by God, and I am very afraid that anything Toraya touches will go into my mouth. I am hesitant to eat it, but I want to eat what Toraya made. But I need courage to eat it. Please give me courage.
Like a Christian facing a board game, my movements stopped in a prayerful pose.
But I couldn't stay like that forever, so I slowly opened my eyes and saw Tora Masa looking at me.
It was a very long prayer.
It's not long enough.
Is your family Christian?
No, my family has been Buddhist for generations.
I see.”
I looked at the breakfast placed in front of me.
I looked at the breakfast placed in front of me and took a deep breath.
From now on, I will eat this breakfast.
With a strong will, I picked up the bread Toraga had baked for me and took a bite.
It's the best bread in the world.
Tearing up as I held the tops of my eyes, Toramasa tsked, “You're overreacting, aren't you? Toramasa chided me.
I had never eaten such delicious bread before. I've never eaten such delicious bread. I can't stop crying. The bread Toramasa baked for me is delicious…. I love it.
I eat it slowly, slowly, slowly, as if I'm checking the taste.
It was long after Toramasa had finished eating.
As I was saying a long prayer of thanks again, Toraya suddenly opened his mouth.
Next time, you cook something.
I opened my eyes and looked at him.
Toramasa laughed wickedly, pointed at the empty plate in front of me and said, “You ate what I made, didn't you? He said, “You ate what I made, didn't you?
Watts!
Don't you understand Japanese?”
Yes…I think I didn't understand your Japanese just now…. Can you say that again?
Next time, you make something.
Toraya looked into my eyes and his smile deepened as he repeated his previous words without making a single mistake.
I was too afraid to cook for him. It's impossible.
But if Toraya insists, I have no right of veto. But making food for Toraya means he eats what I make, but Toraya wants me to make it for him….
I wondered how much time had passed after repeating the same thought over and over again. I finally opened my heavy mouth and replied, “…I understand. I answered. I am sorry for taking so much time, even though I had no choice in the first place….
It's not that I can't make a particularly delicious meal. Even so, I would do my best to make Toraga think it tasted as good as possible. That is what I decided.
