Chapter 45 – Assistant Teacher Day 2 (13)
1.
The human memory system is more crude than we think. No matter how painful the process is, as long as it follows a happy conclusion, it is easily forgotten or glorified.
For example, the memories of training camp that most men in Korea experience. The small amount of happiness given after hard training goes beyond physical freedom and takes away the freedom to remember pain.
I remember people grinning like idiots at the few monshells given to them after a march. Those who had been swearing and cursing the country and the military became quiet with only a few hundred won worth of snacks in their mouths.
But the same goes for Hyunwoo. Even though he was filled with dissatisfaction as to why he had to do something like this, the prospect of going to Mokuldae was too sweet for him to resist.
At that time, Hyunwoo vaguely realized that he too was nothing more than an animal and how weak the human spirit can be when it has reached its physical limits.
And Hyeji will be no exception to this. The pain she has experienced and the deficiencies she has are in no way inferior to others.
That’s why he thinks about ways to color her memories in the color he wants. She carefully chooses her ‘monshell’ to give to her.
“I can’t express in words how thankful and sorry I am right now. Thank you for understanding… I’m sorry for giving you so much trouble.”
First, start off lightly with an apology and words of gratitude. He comforted her warmly, as if he were treating his wife, who had just given birth to her first child after a long labor.
However, Hye-ji, who was held in her arms, still did not make a single movement and only whimpered.
Well, if you’ve been treated so badly and hope to regain your energy with just a few words, you’re no different from a thief.
Hyunwoo thought while stroking Hyeji’s long hair. What should I do to say goodbye to a woman who has become as frozen as ice? For a moment, the corners of her mouth rose as she felt like she was having fun with her mind.
If apologizing or thank you doesn’t have much effect, the next thing to say is, of course, I love you.
Now that I can spit out lines that will melt her heart as naturally as breathing, acting out her love is a breeze.
Hyeon-woo said sweet words that Hye-ji could never refuse and waited for her to fall into her trap.
“I felt completely confident today. I guess I must have had such a hard time just to meet you. Others may point at me and say I’m crazy, but she says she’s the only person who can understand me. So let’s be together for the rest of our lives. “I will love you until I die.”
Hyun-woo’s love for Hye-ji is evident in his words. In her dry bathroom, she intended to pour her love back into her devastated heart.
Yes, in a way, the current lovers’ game is also a part of teaching. The more love flutters in her heart, the more power and control she will gain, but it’s all just a pretense for later pleasure.
With that thought in mind, Hyunwoo did not hesitate at all to say unfamiliar things that he would normally have avoided.
Her kind eyes gently curve to create a smile that will trick her. There is sparkling love in her eyes as she looks at her.
A handsome face that cannot be easily imagined by just looking at its ugly insides. And the vivid love portrayed with that face was so sweet that even Hyeji’s soul was intoxicated. There is no way that the poor soul who begged for her love could refuse this.
Hyunwoo chuckled inside her as he felt her trembling subside little by little. He still feels like it’s not enough, but this is more than enough for first aid.
Just pat her for a little while longer so that she can calm down a little more and listen to what she is about to say.
Eventually, when her trembling completely stopped, Hyun-woo lifted her up and stood in front of her.
I stared into the eyes that met my eyes and slowly opened my mouth. Now that we had put her torn heart back together, it was time to brainwash her.
“This is the first time in my life that I have been this happy. Thanks to meeting you… The best day of my life has come. “I’ve been hiding my desires and suppressing them all by myself, but now I feel like my heart is finally being relieved.”
The point of this brainwashing is to instill in her how good she was and how happy and excited she was because of her efforts. For this purpose, as soon as Hyeji comes to her senses, he first praises her for her hard work.
“I guess it’s because they all gave up that much strength. Will you continue to love me, just like today? If you don’t change, I will never change. For the rest of my life… I will only look at myself for the rest of my life.”
And as a ‘reward’ for the sacrifices she has made, he promises her unchanging and eternal love. It reminds her that her suffering was not in vain. Pain must be followed by compensation for memories to be easily glorified.
“Huh… Black…”
Gradually, proper breathing returned to her, who had been breathing only irregularly and weakly. Even without looking into her thoughts, she could guess that her words were being heard.
Hyunwoo smiled and continued speaking again.
“For a woman like you, it would be worth giving my whole life to. She’s so kind, and she tries so hard for me… Because she’s the only one in this world. Babe. No, Hyeji. “Today was really… The best.”
This time, she gets an unfiltered taste of her girlfriend’s joy at being recognized by praising her profusely for listening to her commands. She was a woman who was hungry for such things from the beginning, so there was no doubt that she would eat everything that was thrown at her.
However, this is not just a compliment either.
Praise now is a double-edged sword that will suffocate her in the future. As much as you are praised when you follow orders well, you will be afraid of the fallout when you refuse orders. The more you do that, the less likely you are to refuse orders.
It is truly a terrible brainwashing disguised as comfort. However, no matter how little comfort it was, it was enough to restore vitality to Hyeji’s eyes.
Hyeji was very unfamiliar with Hyunwoo’s warm appearance, but her exhausted body leaned against the warmth he gave her.
“Oppa… Oppa… Ugh… Oppa… Really, you’re going to love me for the rest of your life, right? Really?”
It felt unnatural to hear even simple words come to a halt, but finally a proper sentence was formed from her mouth.
21 years old is still too young to know her love. Hyeji was so pure that her love could become everything in the world, and her soul was that poor.
To her, Hyunwoo’s false love surprisingly unleashes her terrifying power. The abuse just now felt like a dream from last night, and then it dissipated like smoke exhaled from the core of my heart.
“Of course. No matter what others say, let’s have our own relationship. You and I are both people who have suffered more wounds than others. Because of that, it may be more creaky than others. Maybe it’ll be more difficult. Still, let’s write our own love while understanding and embracing each other.”
Hyunwoo answered her and added her long, lame words. He subtly covers her trauma with her previous violent behavior and inserts what she wants to hear. The images of the cruel perpetrator and the loving boyfriend are separated in an instant.
“That’s right… I too… I’ll try my best. “I love you.”
“I love you too. I had a hard time today. You really are… The best girlfriend. I will do better.”
Hyunwoo puts an end to her situation with a deep kiss.
It seemed as if the wound had been sutured to some extent and the consolation had come to an end.
I just thought it was like that.
2.
After washing up, the two lay down on the bed and hugged each other. Not only Hyeji, but also Hyeonwoo was feeling quite tired, so the skinship in the bathroom ended with a kiss.
Above all, because it was well past dinner time, I was unbearably hungry.
“Honey, if you want something to eat, just tell me. I’ll do everything for you. Pizza? Pork feet? Oh, there’s also a pasta restaurant.”
Hyunwoo gently drooped the corners of his eyes and smiled gently.
Behavior that makes one confused whether he is the same as the perpetrator just now. He shouted loudly as if he would do anything for him and deliberately acted more friendly.
Because Hyeji coming out of the bathroom was a little strange. The girl who always behaved like a spoiled child rarely made eye contact, and she remained silent.
Hyunwoo asked her one more time when she didn’t get an answer.
“Is there anything you’re attracted to?”
“Ah… Blood… Sleep?”
Hyeji looked blankly at the ceiling, as if she had lost her mind, and answered quietly. After she finished her shower with warm water, her body was as tired as her body.
“Well, he likes pizza the best. “Then you order pizza?”
“Ah… Yes.”
Hyunwoo completed her order on the app and glanced sideways at her, still closing her mouth.
She may be overreacting, but something is definitely off. There was an inexplicable shadow on her face due to fatigue or hunger.
Even as she dresses up to receive the pizza that will soon arrive, the shadow does not fade from her face.
That sight is extremely annoying. It leaves an unpleasant aftertaste to just leave it like this.
“Hmm… Why are we so low-spirited?”
Before she speaks, I catch her attention with a light cough. She puts a wry smile on her face in anticipation of what she will see. In that state, she asked, using a euphemism for her abnormal state.
“I guess it’s just that I’m exhausted.”
The answer sounded a bit sour, perhaps due to exhaustion or lingering emotions. She has shown unprecedented progress so far. She used to be a woman who couldn’t press herself after sex, but now she just sits limp.
No, looking back, this only happened once. The first time she argued was right before they started dating.
I treated her pretty harshly, as if I were a sex toilet, and she burst into tears, asking if it was true that she loved me. At that time, the dejected appearance she saw at a glance came to mind like a déjà vu.
Before Hyeji started sulking, she used to be strangely quiet. If the same thing happens this time, the current silence is by no means a welcome sign.
During the previous fight, I deleted all the woman’s contact information saved on my phone and clicked on it, but what should I do now?
I obviously comforted her a lot in the bathroom… But it seems like there was still a fire left that I couldn’t put out. Hyunwoo was annoyed by her capriciousness.
“Aren’t you misunderstanding again? I wondered if it was true that her brother loved me. “You did it last time, and you’re doing this again?”
She thought for a moment, then brushed away the bangs that were stinging her eyes and spoke firmly. When she still doesn’t respond, she picks up one more word to defend herself.
“Baby… If you hadn’t said that you would do anything, I wouldn’t have been so excited.”
But it seems like excuses don’t work that well. As she watches Hye-ji blink her eyes with difficulty, she decides to change her course. Hyunwoo’s complexion darkened for an instant.
“I feel like I’m going crazy because I’m so anxious because he’s not saying anything. You’re not disappointed in me, are you? Please don’t do this. Just a moment ago, you said you loved me. He said he would try harder.”
This time, he looks very worried. Instead of the mask of a master who had wielded omnipotent power, he takes on the mask of an innocent young man who becomes timid in the face of love.
In this situation, she knows that it is more effective to lower her head and go in rather than to fight back.
No matter how big a mistake she made, if she apologized profusely as if she had committed a mortal sin, the good girl would not know what to do. Naturally, her mistakes tended to go unnoticed.
“No! I wasn’t disappointed! “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”
Sure enough, Hye-ji looks at Hyeon-woo, who is depressed, and shouts urgently. Hyunwoo bowed closer as he watched her apology in return.
“Then can you tell me honestly why you’re doing this? You said that trust is important between us, that communication is important. “What are you thinking about now?”
She urges her to answer, citing her trust and conversation. At first glance, it seems like a request, but in reality, it is no different from coercion.
She couldn’t pick up the water that had already spilled, but she couldn’t just ignore her emotional turmoil like this. The idea was to appeal to her sympathy and delve into her thoughts.
When Hyeji seems to hesitate in her answer, she quickly adds more.
“Honey… You don’t think I’m strange, do you? I told you I could definitely understand. Huh?”
Hye-ji felt a pang in her stomach as Hyeon-woo asked her question as if he was passing along. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve hit the nail on the head.
Was she thinking her brother was… Strange? No. My brother… Is by no means a strange person. Yes, I never thought of her brother as a strange person.
… However, today’s situation is unfamiliar and strange.
In fact, she herself couldn’t properly explain how she felt right now. For some reason, her heart felt tight and pounding, but she couldn’t put her finger on why.
“No, I never… I never think you’re strange. “I just… I was thinking about this and that.”
“What do you think?”
“As I lie down like this… I don’t even realize what happened earlier… Furthermore, I wonder how it happened…”
Hyeji mutters with an expression of mixed emotions.
Even now, I am confused by the random thoughts that come to mind. Once she started speaking, her confusion was clearly visible on her face.
Hyunwoo looked at her like that and quietly let out a sigh of relief. She was worried because she thought she had crossed a line, but fortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case.
She doesn’t look like an angry person. She just seems so confused that she can’t control herself.
Once I felt somewhat at ease, a self-deprecating smile appeared. She had done it because she was completely sure that she had gone crazy, but as soon as she got some rest, she recalled what had just happened and seemed to be confused.
I thought she, blinded by her love, would fall for me again, but her human spirit is not as easy as she thought.
Is it because one or two days is too short for a person to be broken, or is it because they are still young? The mental cord, which has been stretched like a taffy stick, shows the elasticity to regain its original shape.
That’s why it’s more fun. It may take longer to destroy her to her target level than she originally planned, but increasing her difficulty is not a bad thing.
Hyunwoo shook his head and lowered his voice. If she is getting her mind back on track, all you have to do is twist her to the point where she can’t.
If you’re at the stage where you even doubt love, it might be a pain, but looking at you, you’re just in a terrible state of confusion.
His tongue came up with a repertoire in an instant.
It’s easy to play with a girl who has lost her way.
