Chapter 4 – Caregivers (3)
3.
“Sorry. That reminds me of the old days.”
“… No. I like to play cards too. I was embarrassed because I didn’t know what to do with this body.”
Silence. Carl liked this suffocating silence. What is Sophia thinking right now? Is she in despair as she recalls the past? Does she resent me? Or not.
―Are you feeling pessimistic about yourself for not being able to play cards properly because all your limbs have been cut off?
Sophia’s depressed expression was a kind of amusement in itself.
Are you sad because you don’t have arms? Gee, that’s too bad. Then shall we play a game of cards? Oh right. You said you had no arms. Kick kick.
Carl looked at Sophia’s face with such anticipation.
Sophia was laughing. Wide open. She was smiling softly Her smile was a little vague, but she wasn’t even in the ok at that level. Carl blankly stared at Sophia’s smile. A million-dollar smile.
The party members often said that about Sophia’s smile. Occasionally, there was a time when we held a Sofia funny contest as a joke. Sophia’s smile had magic. A magical power that soothes the weary mind and body.
Whenever Carl saw Sophia’s smile like that, he blankly thought about this.
Oh, if you are a person who smiles so beautifully.
How beautifully you can cry
Carl wanted to get his hands on her tears. She wanted to take possession of Sofia’s everything.
“Hmm~ I think playing cards is a bit difficult, but let’s play something else, right? Sorry. Because the arms are shaped like this. Hi-Hi.”
“… I know. I’ve been thinking too short. What shall we do then?”
“Iknow, right.”
Silence is,
It became as quiet as when I was with Sophia. It’s strange.
“Shall we say something?”
“… “
I want to despair Sophia. Carl knew his desires were of the nasty kind. He wants to get rid of it, making him dependent on himself. I want to see that beautiful smile distorted by endless despair.
Even so, I will have to see him clinging to me.
“Come to think of it, there are still schedules left.”
“Eh. Are you coming now?”
“Haha. Sorry. I’ll come again.”
“Are you coming again? “
“Oh, do you hate it?”
“No no. Not like that! Thank you. You must be busy.”
This person is kind to everyone.
I will make people disappointed, frustrated, and hopeless.
No one else, I will do that.
This was Carl Leben’s deepest promise.
*
“Oops… Town… ! Pooh!”
“Okay. Miss. Do you remember everything I said?”
“Yes, yes, yes… “
“Our dear Sophia. May I ask you well?”
“Yes… Yes… “
*
“I, the caregiver… ?”
Sophia was perplexed. New morning. The caretaker assigned by the imperial palace suddenly turned a blind eye to Sofia. It’s not about ignoring it at all. When I spoke, I listened. But his gaze was fierce, as if he were despising her.
Sophia was always surrounded only by love. Of course, it’s not that I haven’t faced all kinds of greedy gazes and the young gazes of enemies, but I’ve never had to face malice for no reason. It is also for those who have to take responsibility for their lives in the future.
The caregiver said that he had adored Sofia at the first meeting, and when we talked about it, it was clear that he was a kind-hearted and sincere person. Although Sophia seems like an innocent woman, she is quite used to dealing with people. As she listened to confession, she was bound to become accustomed to being a human being.
In that respect, this change in caregivers was difficult to accept. As befits a person introduced by the imperial family, he passed the high standard, and it must be because of that that he decided to be his caregiver.
“I want to go out for a walk.”
“Ha, do you really want to leave?”
Bother? No. That’s fear Sophia was adept at reading the emotions of others. Because in order for her to always be loved, she had to act loved.
The caregiver was willing to fulfill Sophia’s requests for her. She was just reading a book with her other hand. Sophia felt sick to her stomach at that cold sight. Please. She wouldn’t laugh awkwardly, she does care that. The caregiver said every time Sophia said something, she frowned or sighed.
“Did you hate me… ?”
“No. It can’t be.”
After all, she couldn’t help but ask. It was a slightly watery voice. The caregiver put her hand between Sophia’s armpit and lowered her into her wheelchair. Her touch is rough and her answers cold. Sophia suddenly missed the party members.
“How are all my friends?”
“Ah, heroes?”
I am a hero too. Sophia wanted to say that, but she held back. She didn’t save people to be treated. I just did it because I didn’t want people to suffer. What is there to be sad about not knowing?
The caregiver spoke while dragging the wheelchair roughly. The warrior and the witch are enjoying the festival, and the little witch must have been to the library. The pure white knight, Astrea-sama, is staying in the imperial family. Reven… Aren’t you stealing somewhere?
There were several gardens within the imperial palace. There was also a wonderful garden in the Sunshine Palace, where Sophia resided. It is a garden where koi fish splash in the pond and the gardener has cut trees and grass into the shapes of various animals. The sun beat down warmly. Sofia hadn’t had breakfast so she was hungry. But her caregiver, who had taken her to her garden, had disappeared for a moment.
“Excuse me… “
Sophia’s voice gradually faded and she finally disappeared as if she hadn’t in the first place. She was ashamed. The caregiver had been chatting for a long time over there, probably running into a friend who works at the palace.
Oh, because it is. Oh god, you too oh my job don’t talk i’m bored to death
The words she didn’t want to hear were forced into her ears by the lukewarm wind. Her heart sinks. I wanted to see Carl.
That person came up to me like a joke again and said, “Oh, Holy Lady. Good morning. Will you marry me?” I wish I could spit out words like that. Then she said, “I’m sorry. After all, marriage is impossible.” While she was doing it, she smiled and said, “Have you had breakfast?” She would naturally continue the conversation-
It seems that the only person to talk to here is carp. The caregiver was laughing excitedly at what was so funny.
Ah.
Sophia felt her tears finally flow. It wasn’t because her caregiver was babbling about leaving her alone. It wasn’t because she wasn’t hungry because she didn’t eat breakfast. Just.
I had to urinate.
“Carer, caregiver? Hey! Please… !”
What is this
Haha.
She never imagined a life like this. She didn’t want this and she hadn’t endured the pain.
Clear water droplets collected in Sophia’s golden eyes.
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Sting
Seeps out
Please, it should be white. Even if I wish.
I feel terrible contempt for myself for earnestly wishing for such a thing.
*
“Oh my God, did you urinate on that bird? I’m not a kid. What is this? Really my outside.”
Words cut through the heart like a dagger.
