Chapter 39 – Will You Forgive Me?
39.
Sophia’s mental state was very unstable. Confusing. The wish that the person who raped her was Carl and the wish that it was not Carl coexisted.
If the person who violated her was Carl, she would eventually give her virginity to Carl, so she would give her virginity to the person she desired. But in that case, Carl is the rapist who raped him.
Conversely, if it was not Carl who raped him, then Carl would not be a rapist, but Sophia would have been raped by someone else. Her virginity was robbed by a man who didn’t even know her face. She was robbed of the opportunity to give something precious to her loved one. A once in a lifetime opportunity.
Now, when the person she loves demands her chastity, Sophia has to keep her head down and say:
I am grateful that you love me with my limbs cut off, but I have already been beaten like a dog by another man. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it. Because I was raped. The woman you love has been raped by a man you don’t know. If you use me, from then on, you’ll end up with someone you don’t even know.
Her knife lifted her up and seated her in her wheelchair. His hands no longer touched her breasts. It is a more polite hand. That made Sophia uneasy. If her knife raped her, he would forgive her. She has already decided to forgive her.
But unless her sword raped her. If Carl simply loved her, but broke her heart because someone in her would rape her. Sophia couldn’t stand it. Sofia said she had no means to hold onto the knife as she was about to leave.
Carl is a great person. He is a major figure in the empire, one of the heroes who killed the demon king, and he can travel across the continent with only his own ability, and he has so many subordinates that he has the power to easily overthrow even one small country. .
There was no reason why such a knife needed Sophia. Her Sofia’s healing powers were unlike any of her other priests, but there wasn’t much Carl needed her healing powers for. Sophia’s status meant nothing to Carl. Sophia’s appearance? There was no reason why a man who could have any woman he wanted would have to love a defective product with severed limbs.
The sword can do everything without Sophia, but without Sophia he can do nothing. Memories of her being abused by her caregiver eat away at her. As her first caregiver, her behavior led her to assume that all caregivers would have that attitude.
Because of her experience at the time, Sophia thinks, ‘That’s how I’ll care for someone who doesn’t love me’. But Sofia couldn’t know how much her people loved her. Except for her dedication shown by her knife.
Also, it was not difficult to guess that the sick care of someone she did not love would only make Sofia suffer. When she went to the bathroom, he was only ashamed to stop because the other person was Carl. If that happened to her while she was cared for by other people who had no feelings for her, there was no guarantee that she would be able to bear it.
No. If she entrusted her body to anyone other than Carl, Sofia might be raped dozens more times. It’s been confirmed this time. Those who don’t love her Sophia are content to just violate her. I will violate her, play with her properly and throw her away.
Even so, Sophia can’t resist. She has no means to resist. It was the current Sophia that she could have raped even by a child. I cry from misery.
Do you know, Carl said that he was reluctant to date her because he did not like the relationship between her and her relationship, but Sophia had no choice but to be aware of her relationship no matter who else came. Physical defects were such a problem.
Sophia took a deep breath. Carl sat next to her with a serious expression on his face. Sofia was about to say something, but Carl was the first to open her mouth.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
The voice sounded cold, but the content was warm. Sophia burst into tears without realizing it.
I actually waited for Carl to come to the rescue.
But there’s no way I can get those words out.
*
“It is very strange, Sophia. I like you I think you like me too. To be so out of line.”
“Knife… “
Sophia lightly trembled at Carl’s seemingly resigned voice. Carl’s voice is exceptionally soft. He didn’t have the confidence to handle the density of emotions contained within him. Did Carl hate me? Sophia looked at her knife. Carl was also looking at himself. Affectionately.
“I like you Sophia. Love you.”
“Me too, me too Carl.”
Their conversation was bizarre. One of them was a rapist, and one of them was a victim of rape. The two were not yet lovers, but had just confessed their love for each other. Victims of rape were terrified that the rapist would abandon them because of the fact that they had been raped.
Carl gave a lukewarm smile.
“I am so sorry that you went through that. After. I don’t even have the energy to joke around. Sorry. It must be very difficult and painful, but you made me care. I can’t say I know all about your feelings, but I do know that you’re having a really hard time.”
“Yep… “
Sophia didn’t ask how Carl knew that. Carl may have been raping, but he had seen people raped many times anyway. Rather, he focused on what Carl’s words were conveying. What will come out of Carl’s mouth next?
“You will have a harder time. I feel like my heart is about to collapse too. Aside from what you’re struggling with, I’m also heartbroken. It’s so embarrassing that the first time of the person you love was taken away. It’s unfair. Sophia I’m angry with you. Of course, it’s not that you were raped that upsets you. Because that’s the rapist’s fault. However.”
“Ah?”
Carl’s face was thrust in front of Sofia’s eyes. Carl seemed to be confused, and it seemed like he was angry. His lips were closed and his eyes half-open. Sophia’s naked face is exposed in the warm, yet unreserved gaze that digs into her arms.
“Why did you forgive the rapist?”
Cal quietly waits for Sofia’s answer. What answer will she give? Should she be honest, or should she pass it off with appropriate words to avert this crisis? After five seconds or so of Sophia’s silence, Carl continued. “I said I forgave you. Why?” At that prompting, Sophia hesitated and opened her mouth.
“I asked for forgiveness.”
“If I ask for forgiveness, will you forgive me?”
“… “
“Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? You don’t have a brain?”
“… But”
“Why? Why forgive me wasn’t it painful? Wasn’t it painful? Did you like it was it good you ask! Answer me, please!”
Sophia could roughly guess how Carl was asking the question. Was it good Her words pierced her heart like a dagger. She wants to say it couldn’t have been, but she hesitates. Sophia is not very good at lying by nature. So instead she has to answer other questions.
“Forgive me. I beg your forgiveness, yo.”
“What?”
“Because I asked for forgiveness. I will forgive you!”
I thought that Sophia had been crying a lot lately. Her face was distorted into a mess. She cries for a long time and there are no more tears to come out. Her eyes burned red.
“There is nothing else… I mean no… “
Carl was silent for a moment, then let out a laugh.
“Under.”
It was a twisted laugh.
“Haha.”
Then, at first, Sophia grabbed her breasts. “Oops!” Sophia let out her moan in agony. It hurt.
“Then will you forgive me for this too?”
Somehow, it was a voice I had never heard before. Sophia decided not to care.
With thick teardrops forming at the corners of her eyes, Sophia bit her lip and nodded her head slowly.
A smile crept across Cal’s cold face.
