Chapter 7 – The Lowly Saint (2)
Accompanying the warrior has become a fait accompli.
Upon hearing the news, the members of the Church of Love congratulated me whenever they saw me.
I smiled awkwardly and said thank you.
Although I’m not at all grateful.
“Then the saintess will meet the real hero?”
Makarov, who was listening to my story next to me, said as if he was envious.
I answered wearing the mask of a faithful saintess.
“Yes, it is an undeserved honor for me.”
The blond boy’s eyes glow and his imagination runs wild.
“The warrior must be an incredibly cool person, right? Oh, I really want to see you too!”
Makarov seems to have many fantasies about the rumored hero.
I raise my head thinking, what if I am disappointed?
The gap between fantasy and reality is so cruel that there is no mercy.
“It may be someone different from the rumors.”
That’s why I deliberately took out negative comments.
But the boy did not seem to listen to me.
Rather, they pushed me as if I was saying something strange.
“Ah, are you a warrior?”
“It’s good to fantasize, but it’s not good to indulge, follower Makarov.”
Despite my heartfelt advice, the boy showed signs of dissatisfaction.
“Where are the baseless rumors?”
“There are rumors and others, too.”
Makarov frowned and said, “Mmmm!” I swallowed, but quickly calmed down.
And then he looks elated, like a mathematician who has found the answer.
“Heh, even if you say that, there’s a precedent, right?”
“Precedent… Rani?”
“Saint Arya! The hero wasn’t the only one I had fantasies about. See it in action! As I imagined, or more than I imagined, Saint Arya is gentle, merciful, and… Oh, you are beautiful!”
How dare you say such a thing in front of yourself?
It is a sincere word without embellishment that can be said because it is a child.
I felt that my heart was dying at those innocent words.
I’m not the kind of person Makarov said.
Gentle, compassionate?
Who is that person?
I just
Just.
… Just.
My body trembled.
It’s scary.
So I involuntarily hugged the boy.
“Uh, huh? Ah, Saint Aria?”
Makarov blushed and waved his hands in embarrassment.
I also had doubts about my actions and tried to rationally make excuses, but for some reason my throat was blocked.
Maybe that’s why what came out of my mouth was an emotional complaint.
“Wait a minute… , Please stay like this for a while.”
“Ah yes.”
I held the little boy in my arms for a long time.
Makarov’s juvenile flesh calmed me down a bit.
As we release the hug, we see the boy blushing awkwardly.
“Are you okay?”
“Thanks to Makarov.”
“Is it because of me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s fortunate.”
I called the child by name.
“Father Makarov.”
“Yes Yes?”
Makarov looks visibly flustered.
Still, I have to say something.
“He said I was gentle, compassionate, and beautiful.”
“That, right?”
“I’m glad you thought so.”
Makarov is speechless in my pure gratitude.
Should I bring this up in this situation or not?
I was worried.
But I was inclined to think that I should do it too.
“… But I’m not a great saint like the Makarov followers think.”
“Yes?”
I didn’t know what to say to Makarov, who asked me what kind of nonsense he was talking about.
So I spit out the emotions I am feeling right now.
“Nevertheless, I think I gain strength thanks to the Makarov followers who like me.”
“Ehehe, the saintess too.”
I silently watch the boy laughing without enthusiasm.
Makarov is unique to me.
It is the only normal human relationship.
What if that boy finds out the truth about me?
What if you hate me and don’t like me?
The saintess you imagined is actually nothing more than a filthy human being.
What if you get fed up with that fact?
When I imagine that, it feels like the whole world turns black.
Her chest tingles and hurts.
Whatever number
Whatever happens.
I want to hide as much as this child.
I desperately wanted to remain as the saint the boy had imagined.
The marble rope that brought me down to the abyss.
His son, Makarov, paradoxically, was my last bastion.
A rotten smile seems to flow from the irony.
Makarov and I exchanged a few more words before parting.
Because the night is deep.
Click.
I entered my room and threw myself on the bed.
I like the soft feel of the cushion and the scent of the soft sheet.
I sighed as I inhaled the scent.
Today is the day you don’t have to deal with men.
That’s why I’m thinking about what I wouldn’t normally do.
“… Warrior.”
Accompanying the warrior.
How should I view this?
Even though I am a seed-receiving saint, since I am nominally a saint, the church has not harmed me.
But outside it is different.
Some danger may lurk.
Even if you are with a hero, you will experience a crisis.
Maybe even die.
Death.
It feels like a cold word brushing the nape of my neck like a blade.
Goddess.
I am afraid of fighting.
If it had been me who had just been possessed, I would have ventured out, but not now.
I am well aware of my weakness.
I know it deeply.
He is a cowardly man trying to escape from reality.
Still, choosing the option to be with the hero was a minor rebellion.
Perhaps he wanted to be molested against Cardinal Mallow’s will.
I am a dirty and vulgar person.
At the same time, there was a belief that the cardinal would not allow it.
Because he was the one who refrained from external activities.
I couldn’t believe the current situation.
Doing it with a warrior.
Really?
Why?
I sighed as I rubbed his bruised buttocks and groin with the violent act.
It stings and throbs.
It could have been healed quickly using holy power, but I didn’t.
Surprisingly, there seems to have been a masochistic tendency.
A few minutes to carefully caress the bruised area.
A wet stain formed over the white panties.
I realized that my groin was wet.
It seems that this lewd body could not stand it and felt a sexual desire.
It shouldn’t be like this.
“Ah, yes, heeuk♡”
Now I’m used to touching my vagina.
I know very well where and how to touch to feel sexual.
It was touched by various believers, and I even touched it myself.
Goddess of love.
Do not forgive a lamb who knows only this pleasure.
Please, scold me with that stern and stern admonition.
Swallowing such a confession, I persistently touched my genitals like a boy who fell into masturbation for the first time.
“Hayeot, ang, heeik, ang♡.”
A suppressed moan that broke out.
Only this pleasure and a boy named Makarov make me feel comfortable.
I repeat self-consolation over and over again.
Remove your finger from the vaginal opening.
I licked the sticky liquid on my fingers.
It tastes bitter.
With my left hand, I touch the tip of the left nipple, and with the thin index and middle fingers of my right hand, I dig into the genital sensations in the vagina.
A primal reaction such as shaking the shoulders or pulling the legs comes out.
At this time, everyone is deeply asleep.
I caress myself for pleasure.
“Ugh, uh, uh uh, uh uh.”
Biting down on the blanket, I suppressed my moaning.
The soundproofing is well done, but if ordinary believers hear it, it may cause trouble.
The fact that I am a seed-receiving saint is surprisingly not a well-known fact.
“Huh.”
Curl your toes and tense your calves.
The moment you exhale feeling a refreshing sensation in your head.
“Hey!”
I let out a loud groan with the sound of air escaping.
I was startled and tried to cover my mouth, but my body, which had already reached its climax, hardly listened.
“Hee, hee.”
It feels like my brain is about to melt.
In the midst of that, why does Makarov come to mind?
I felt like I had taken that innocent boy as my daughter.
For some reason, I feel guilty.
“Hugeuk, ugh.”
When I felt a big climax, the sexual desire that filled my head decreased dramatically.
Surprisingly, no wonder, wise time exists for women too.
I fell into extreme self-doubt and self-loathing.
Are you still a man?
You are so disgusting
Is not it?
Look at how you struggle.
Didn’t he get shot in the head?
The remnants of ‘him’ that remained in me, even a little bit, shout out.
But what can I do?
He’s a coward too.
I have a skinny smile.
“Ha-hee.”
A stupid laugh leaks out.
It’s a laugh that sometimes comes out when the mood gets too high.
I felt the need to sleep to mend my crumbling spirit.
Even if it’s tattered, I want to live.
I want to live.
The night only deepens.
With that darkness as my friend, I fall asleep.
