Chapter 1039 – #247_Apprentice Witch, Cohabitation (5)
#1033
1.
Originally, I was planning to spend the night going through work again.
The demonstration semester was in full swing, and Siwoo, who was currently serving as both the head of the basic department and the president of the academic society, had a workload that was practically lethal.
“I’m scared to sleep alone. Let’s sleep together.”
Although he didn’t have any ulterior motives, Siwoo readily agreed to Diana’s request.
“The sky is quite turbulent. Could you wait just ten minutes?”
“I will.”
Diana nodded, hugging her pillow tightly, and entered the bedroom, the hem of her pajamas swaying like a tropical fish’s tail.
“Oh dear….”
Siwoo guessed that Diana was pushing herself quite hard.
As he had thought earlier, if a woman wanted to make her first experience precious, she would also want to avoid unwanted romance.
Moreover, Diana was still an apprentice witch.
Just as Siwoo was particularly careful when dealing with the twins, he was careful not to hurt Diana’s delicate sensibilities.
In other words, it was impossible for him to think of Diana’s offer to sleep together as ‘Is this my chance?’ and be gleeful about it.
He needed to soothe her and make sure she got a good night’s sleep.
Maybe she was really just scared of the thunder and lightning.
“Hoo.”
Diana, who had entered the bedroom first, sat on the bed and secretly sighed.
She was on edge.
She realized anew that, as she had read in books, a man had to act right for a woman to feel more comfortable.
Since the older, even experienced, man was being so hesitant, wasn’t it Diana who had to go through all this trouble?
“Honestly….”
A dissatisfied feeling spread, but on the other hand, she felt somewhat relieved.
Soon, Diana would be climbing an unknown staircase.
Hadn’t she seen his expression just now?
He had looked so dazed, yet his eyes had sparkled with anticipation.
Even a clueless man would eat if you put a spoon in front of his mouth.
Soon, the man and woman lying in the same bed would hug each other and do that….
Anyway, they would do all sorts of things.
It would probably be a night that would remain in Diana’s memory forever.
Honestly, she had expected to be incredibly nervous and scared, but….
“It’s nothing much.”
Her heart, which had been pounding when she entered the room, was surprisingly calm and composed.
Instead, overflowing confidence and tranquility coldly swept through her mind.
This was entirely due to the effect of intellectualization.
Why was ‘the first time’ so scary?
It was because you hadn’t done it before.
It was because you couldn’t guess what would happen, what it would feel like, or what kind of chemical reactions it would trigger in your brain.
It was like bungee jumping into a bottomless pit.
“I know everything.”
But not Diana.
Although she had never experienced it directly, through countless indirect experiences and simulations, she could clearly see the bottom of the pit.
If that was the case, there was no need to be afraid beforehand.
She just had to close her eyes and overcome the brief fear when jumping.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s nothing.”
Afterward, Siwoo, who had changed into comfortable clothes, entered the bedroom.
Diana was startled.
Under the dim candlelight, his physique looked much larger than it did during the day.
In fact, he had become bigger and more solid overall than when he had first taken on the role of Diana’s tutor.
It shouldn’t be easy for an entity trying to maintain homeostasis to become like that….
Was it different because he was a man?
As her heart, which had calmed down, showed signs of beating fast again, Diana calmly repeated to herself.
It’s all known.
It’s all obvious.
There’s no need to be scared.
-Kugugugung!
“Hick…!”
Diana was startled by the sudden thunderclap.
Being afraid of thunder was something from a long, long time ago.
But Siwoo seemed to have taken it a little differently.
He neatly cast a barrier magic and completely blocked out the sounds from outside.
“I’ve cast a soundproofing spell, so it should be okay.”
“T-thank you.”
Feeling somewhat embarrassed, Diana took off her slippers and got into bed, patting the spot next to her.
“Come on, lie down here.”
“Huh?”
“What do you mean, ‘huh?’ I told you we were going to sleep together. Do I have to say even this? Turn off the light. You’re the first tutor to sleep next to me, so consider it an honor.”
She was saying things she didn’t need to say, so she must be a little nervous after all.
Diana objectively assessed her condition, turned off the candle, and welcomed Siwoo, who awkwardly climbed onto the bed.
“Lie down sideways like this. Closer, closer, closer. Oh, honestly….”
Siwoo lay on his side, and Diana, with her back to him, also lay on her side, giving him instructions.
At this point, he should have just pulled her into an embrace, but he kept hesitating and trying to adjust the distance.
Frustrated, Diana grumbled.
“Get close enough to hug me!”
“Yes, yes, are you that scared?”
Wait a minute.
Did this man think that she really wanted to sleep together because she was startled by the thunder earlier?
Diana felt a strange anxiety and absurdity and sighed deeply.
“…Okay, then.”
Diana just moved herself and snuggled against his chest.
The sensation was different from what she had expected, and she was a little surprised.
How should she put it? It was completely different from the soft feeling she sometimes felt when she was in her mother’s arms.
She felt a sense of security, as if she were leaning against an iron plate, and she could feel his heart beating slowly and heavily.
In the dark room, with no moonlight, Diana and Siwoo were now on the same bed, under the same blanket.
Unable to bear the awkward silence, Siwoo asked.
“Are you asleep?”
“No.”
“How have you been?”
“Thanks to you, I’ve been a little more at ease.”
Diana answered honestly.
If it hadn’t been for him, she would still be lazing around, worrying her mother.
She would have been terrified of the day he might leave, her insides parched with anxiety.
Every year on the succession day, she would have missed her mother, gone to the family cemetery, placed a bouquet of flowers, and cried until her eyes were swollen.
No, maybe she would have gone every day.
The reason she could imagine it so vividly was because she had really thought about it and grieved almost every day.
The thought of sending her beloved mother away for the sake of the family’s achievements.
“…Thank you.”
“It’s nothing. I’m glad I could be of help.”
Thinking that, she felt sorry for having treated him like a fool for being so hesitant.
This clueless push and pull, and the minor stress it caused, were nothing compared to that.
Well, what could she do?
She had to be more proactive since he was so hesitant.
“I didn’t properly thank you for helping me back then either.”
“Back then?”
“When I was in danger in Border Town.”
“I think you did thank me. And it was also partly my fault.”
“No, I didn’t thank you properly.”
There was also a good excuse.
A cliché from many of her mother’s works: repaying a debt with one’s body.
Diana, whose fingers were twitching, turned her body around.
“Miss Diana?”
Diana, who had turned to face Siwoo, gasped at how much closer he was than she had expected.
Well, they had been snuggling so close.
“Let me repay your kindness. I can’t stand being in debt.”
As she said that, the three buttons on the chest of Diana’s dress were all undone.
Because she was lying on her side, the prominent cleavage would be clearly visible to him.
She clicked her tongue, thinking that he was such a fool for making her say even these things, and parted her plump lips.
“Can I repay you with my body?”
The scent of tea mixed with the fresh scent of her skin tickled Siwoo’s nose.
But Siwoo was frowning, looking somewhat uncomfortable.
He looked displeased, and there was also a hint of worry.
“W-what is it?”
What was it?
In books, at this point, they would hug each other tightly and kiss.
Diana was flustered by Siwoo’s unexpected reaction.
“You don’t have to push yourself.”
Then he should have done it properly earlier!
Or at least led her on a little before!
Diana’s neck stiffened at his kind tone.
“Push myself? Who’s being so dramatic because of whom…!”
“I mean you don’t have to push yourself if you don’t want to. If you don’t want the Count to worry, I can explain it to him. We can just spend the rest of the time relaxing and playing together.”
“What?”
“You’re just going along with it because you’re worried about the Count. You’re a dutiful daughter, Diana.”
“…….”
“You keep trying to seduce me even though you don’t really want to, and that’s the same as what you’re doing now.”
Diana’s eyes widened as if she had found a jack-in-the-box.
Her topaz-colored eyes, which sparkled even in the dark, were completely visible.
He had noticed Diana’s seduction.
Then, the reason he had been pretending not to notice all this time wasn’t because he didn’t like her or because he was terribly oblivious?
Then, the reason he had been rejecting the seduction of an apprentice witch who was cute even when she was just breathing was….
“Was it out of consideration?”
“It’s nothing that grand. I also don’t like it when others make me do things I don’t want to do. If you’re still worried, we can just lie together. That we had a good time.”
“I won’t lie to my mother.”
“Then…. How about saying we slept in the same bed? That’s the truth.”
Siwoo avoided her gaze with an awkward joke, looking embarrassed.
Diana couldn’t help but chuckle.
She never thought she would think this about a man, but he looked quite cute.
He had quite a bad reputation outside and a huge history with women, but he was a kind person who knew how to care about others.
“Okay, then. We have to do it anyway, right?”
“I guess…so?”
“I know everything, so you don’t have to worry too much. But if I could ask just one thing….”
Diana took a deep breath and placed Siwoo’s hand on her chest.
“…Be gentle.”
Diana hugged Siwoo’s neck first and attempted a deep kiss.
Siwoo hesitated for a moment, but soon skillfully pressed his lips against hers and intertwined their tongues.
Was this the taste of a first kiss?
The smooth sensation and soft touch that made her head spin captivated Diana as if she were drunk.
“Chuuup….”
At that moment.
Siwoo suddenly stopped kissing.
“Why, why?”
Diana was bewildered.
It was the perfect timing, so why did he suddenly stop?
“Miss Diana, are you okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your hand….”
Only then did Diana look down at her hand.
-Shudder, shudder, shudder
Her hand was shaking terribly, like a drug addict going through withdrawal.
“W-what is it? Why, why is it like this?”
The shaking soon spread to her arms, legs, and then her whole body.
Diana’s whole body was trembling like an aspen leaf.
It was as if she was being forced to do something.
Diana’s defense mechanism was intellectualization.
But intellectualization had a very strong disadvantage.
Intellectualization was the act of suppressing ‘emotional problems’ with ‘rational thinking.’
In other words, Diana hadn’t resolved her fear of sex, but had only suppressed it by observing it rationally.
It might work up to a certain level, but if it reached a level where she could no longer suppress it, the suppressed emotions would rise up with increased pressure.
“Ugh, ugh….”
As tears began to trickle down her face like a chick, the fears she had forcibly ignored returned to Diana’s mind, and new thoughts began to bloom.
Men were scary.
Shin Siwoo was also a man.
She would soon have to be naked with him and do all sorts of things.
They might do it as intensely as she had with her mother.
Then Diana would die.
She would just die.
“Hwaaaah! Hwaaaah!!”
Diana burst into tears.
