Chapter 68 – Shadows Under Feet (1)
A metal bang sounded later. After that, silence ensued, only the sound of the rumbling train could be heard. Beyond the conductor, the fire emitted by Hetzling spread like a sunset.
In the meantime, the train had already accelerated to the end. It was too late to go back now.
“Miss Rebecca.”
“…”
“Just now…”
“…It was a mistake.”
She spewed out lies that even she couldn’t believe. Then she continued talking, trying to avoid her window.
“It wouldn’t have died. Hetzling’s flames would have been directed towards multiple targets.”
“…”
“Yes. I’m sure…He and Mrs. Lopez fled to a safe place.”
“…”
“Lope. You are free to criticize me. But…”
“Miss Rebecca.”
I stopped her boiling emotions. And then he uttered it in a calm voice.
“I could burn it.”
“I know.”
“At least I couldn’t have left it there.”
“I know. Just…”
“…”
“…I need to check the condition of the train.”
Rebecca eventually turned away from me and headed towards the front of the train. Only then did Saya get out of the driver’s seat and approach me without knowing anything.
“Lope. Are you okay?”
“Huh.”
“Rebecca…What happened?”
“That…”
Instead of answering, I cast my gaze toward the window. The burning figure of Belentel caught my eye over the rapidly passing scenery. People’s prophecies that one day it would become the second capital were being fulfilled in a twisted way.
If I look down, I wonder if the figure of the girl who collapsed next to the railroad will come into my eyes. I looked over there, but all I could see were pebbles bouncing here and there.
I finally sighed and collapsed into my seat. Blood of unknown origin flowed from his body.
“Ha…”
“Lope. What’s the matter?”
“That…”
“Rebecca pushed the student body president, sister.”
Before I could finish my words, Haru spoke first. She nodded slightly in my direction as she tightened her undone eyepatch.
“Is that right, senior?”
“That’s right.”
“So…Erika was following you? But did you just push?”
“Yeah. So you can’t get on the train.”
“That…”
“The reason is obvious.”
Erica might be a potential competitor if she gets on the train. The reason she came here in the first place was to separate her from her group. Then, when things took a strange turn, he feigned her mistake and somehow excluded her from the group.
It was an obvious story without having to recite it line by line. Sayaya too. Not even a day. Maybe she had the same thoughts as me, so she shut her mouth for a while and was silent.
Finally, Saya carefully opened her mouth first.
“Rope.”
“Huh.”
“You can’t save everyone.”
“I know.”
I never intended to do that in the first place.
It was the same at the academy. As a result, it is true that many students escaped from the island, but that was incidental to the end. In the first place, my goal was to go to the land of the elves with my precious people.
Besides, Erica wasn’t even included in it. It was a relationship that started with bad luck, and I never thought of him as someone precious to me. So at first, I deliberately pushed myself away so that I wouldn’t have hope.
Rather, Rebecca did more than Erica. She was my mentor and strong helper when I attended the academy, when I escaped from the island, and even after I escaped. She had given me so many things in the meantime, so I was slowly deciding who to give the rest of the patterns to.
If you look at reason, it was like that. As always, if you think rationally, that’s right.
But…
…
Even so, there was nothing he could do about the uncut sensibility covering his reason. When she closed her eyes, Erica’s image from before was smeared on her eyelids.
And her Rebecca figure as she relentlessly pushed her away.
The sight made me think of something else. If it was Saya instead of Erica who was there. If it was a day if it were me
Would the same thing have happened?
If the. So, if Rebecca considers Saya and even Haru as rivals in the pattern, what will happen then?
I am…
…
Should I even doubt the benefactor who saved me?
“Lope. Are you okay?”
“…No.”
I answered sincerely to Saya’s question that suddenly came to me without realizing it. At least to these two, I didn’t want to lie. Even if the world literally collapsed, I wanted to be true to them in front of them.
It was a bond that I, who lived alone without a single precious thing, was able to grasp after going through destruction once. I never wanted to lose them anymore because they were the people I had embraced beyond resentment.
As soon as I thought that, I instinctively grabbed the two of them by the hand. Saya’s soft and warm hand. Haru’s small, rough hands. Saya silently supported my heart, and Haru opened her mouth as bitterly as always.
“Senior, you’ve lost a lot of weight.”
“I see.”
“I can only touch the bones.”
“…”
“…Oh shit. I’ll talk to you.”
One day, he suddenly left his seat and headed for the driver’s seat. I hurriedly tried to dissuade her, but her strength gave out and she sat down again. Soon, Saya’s hand covered my eyes.
“You need to rest, Lope. You’re very tired.”
“…I don’t think I have a fever right now, do I?”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“I see.”
I answered softly and closed my eyes. Then, instead of black, a red color covered my eyes. Could it be because of the dragon’s blood? Saya continued to sweep my face as if to wash it away.
But it’s already too late. Even if the blood was washed away, the bloodstains of others engraved in the bones would remain black. In the midst of endless agony and wandering thoughts, I finally brought out a word I had kept in my heart.
“It’s tough.”
“…Wow.”
…
“Wooooo…”
…
“Cool…Wook…”
…
Every time I vomited it up, black lumps flowed down. It was probably oil and blood that tangled together and flowed out. It was clear that the rapidly consumed mana flowed backwards, scraping the throat and the inside of the machine at the same time.
I almost spilled it all on the floor, but luckily there was an empty barrel in the cab. I don’t know what its original purpose was. Was it something that the driver used to dispose of when he was in a hurry, or was it simply used as a trash can? Either way, I was lucky. At least I could hide this from the kids.
But no matter how much I vomit, I don’t think about stopping. The influence of the gauntlet must have been great. Unlike other weapons, this isn’t something you can control its output. It must have even stuck to my hand because of the impact earlier, and now I can’t take it off.
It seemed that I had no choice but to admit it. My body has already crossed its limits a long time ago. In the first place, the military doctors predicted that I wouldn’t be able to make it past this year.
And now I’m struggling to somehow advance that expectation. By clearing away everything in the road ahead.
The male students who passed me in front of the school gate.
A genius girl from the academy who once didn’t even know her face.
Even the student president who always followed me with respect.
He cut them all off just to save his son.
For my child who doesn’t even know life or death.
…
“Ugh…”
When I remembered that thought, blood leaked from my mouth again. Countless faces I had abandoned kept running through my mind. When the decision was made to wear a prosthetic hand, the plaster on this head should have been replaced.
Just as I was thinking about that, the door suddenly opened.
“Hey Rebecca!”
“…!”
I hurriedly put the barrel away in a corner, wondering if it was Loffe, but fortunately that was the day. The kid pretended to look around because he couldn’t see, then spat out at me in a hard tone.
“What were you doing?”
“I’m just…”
“It doesn’t matter. Again, seniors are having a hard time because of you. You do things your own way.”
“…Sorry.”
“Anyway, I didn’t like it from the beginning. I should have just put it away then. Why do you keep making the situation uncomfortable?”
“Sorry…”
“What the.”
The child scanned the air with her nose. She then raised her eyebrows and said in a dry voice.
“I must have vomited blood. So what? Should I feel guilty about that?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Where is there a person here without a sore spot? Where is a person without an unfortunate past?”
“I know.”
“Then why are you acting so selfishly?”
“Sorry…”
“… Mr. A.”
Haru, who was pouring out the right words, twisted his lips and sat down on top of me. Then he hit my head violently on my chest.
“If you have any complaints, get out of the way. My legs hurt and I can’t stand up any longer.”
“No complaints.”
“Then don’t flinch. It’s annoying.”
“Huh.”
At my answer, the child leaned against him with a pouting lip. A warm energy radiated from his tiny body.
Was a good kid The twisted past and the violent world crushed his body and mind, but he never became a villain. There was still a tender sensibility in this child’s heart.
Maybe it’s because she hasn’t matured yet. It was the same for Lope and Saya, but Haru was too young to be forced into adulthood. However, the world forced Haru to become a grown-up child, and he had no choice but to become that way. That’s why he’s still trying to maintain a contrived joviality in front of Lope.
Still, since she was still a child anyway, she must have subconsciously been looking for someone to pamper her. That was me A wicked person like me could have brushed off that instinct without feeling guilty.
…
And maybe it was me too. I also hoped that someone would lean on me. I wanted to confirm that somewhere inside me I still had the undeserved status of being a mother. So without knowing, I spend my day…
…
It’s not once or twice that I treated him like my child.
“Cool…”
Guilt coughed up again. One day, he pricked up his ears and asked bluntly.
“What. Are you going to die soon?”
“Maybe.”
“Because of the prosthetic arm?”
“No. Just because I’m the one who has to die.”
“Just stay alive until you reach your destination, then.”
“…Okay.”
Eventually, the corner of her mouth lifted slightly. Attempting, the tic is reminiscent of his son. For a moment, my eyes blurred, and reality and fantasy were mixed without a reference point.
“Ah…”
At that moment, I almost stroked Haru’s hair without realizing it. But I struggled to suppress that desire and clenched my fist in his lap. One day, she leaned against my chest and sat still.
The thought that she wanted to protect at least this child welled up in her heart. She was arrogant to have such a wish, given that she had put away so many children. Even so, I made a wish with sinful hands.
Please, I hope you can protect this child as much as possible.
…
And may there be no sin against this child by any other sin.
He gathered his fleshless hands together and prayed fervently.
