Chapter 231 – Side Story 65: Hippo vs. Crocodile.
***
Real Madrid, which won the Champions League semifinal against Manchester United, set a record of advancing to the Champions League final for the fifth time in a row.
“Emperor of Europe!”
“Real! Madrid!!”
“God, protect the emperor!”
“Hala Madrid!!”
An event to commemorate this was held in downtown Madrid.
Most Madridistas were busy enjoying the festival as if they had already confirmed their fifth consecutive Champions League title.
“Didn’t you pop the champagne too early? “I feel uneasy about something.”
“That’s right. “I hope the players don’t get caught up in this atmosphere for no reason.”
Of course, some Madridistas expressed concern that they may be disturbing the players’ minds by creating a festive atmosphere even though they have not yet confirmed their Champions League victory.
However, what they did not expect was that the festive atmosphere was no longer a problem for Real Madrid players, who had all already reached veteran status.
***
While the Madridistas were enjoying the festival, Real Madrid’s players were conducting recovery training according to their original routine.
‘Fools.’
The Lord Jesus looked at the Real Madrid players undergoing recovery training.
Real Madrid players were discussing with serious expressions.
“Puta Madre! “I heard hippos are strong!”
“What are you talking about? Crocodiles are much stronger!”
Luis García and Luka Savic continue the discussion with a conversation that could be expected from elementary school students.
“I heard hippos are the best. I saw it in a documentary. Hippos chew on crocodiles!”
Other Real Madrid players also participated in the discussion, stating their opinions.
“What do you mean, a crocodile is stronger than a hippopotamus?”
“Damn, this doesn’t make sense! Jesus! Who do you think is stronger!”
While the heated debate continued for a while, Luis Garcia opened Pandora’s box.
The curious eyes of Real Madrid players turned to Jesus Christ? Indeed, the Lord Jesus had a curious look in his eyes as to which argument he would agree with.
“I win.”
The Lord Jesus was pleased with the attention being focused on him and answered slowly.
“You win?”
“Huh. “Let’s go back to the hippopotamus and the crocodile thrush.”
Luis Garcia asked back with a puzzled expression. The Lord Jesus nodded his head and slowly recalled the past.
***
Approximately 100 years had passed since the regression began.
At the time, I was tired of the national team’s repeated regression and lack of answers.
No matter how much you think about it, it was close to impossible for a team called Korea to win the World Cup.
So I tried to find another way.
Why is it there?
If you look at it like a novel, it’s a story about becoming a hermit by ascending a mountain and becoming a hermit.
“Inshallah.”
“… Amitabha Buddha.”
I even visited the Shaolin Temple located in Songshan just in case.
“From now on, my seat will be in the thousands!”
He visited the Cheonsan Mountains, known as the home of the Demonic Cult, and called himself the Cheonma to summon the members.
“A thousand people belong to me!!!”
He went up to Mount Tai and gently negotiated that he would burn Mount Tai if he did not send me to Uhwadeung immediately.
[Korea national soccer player Joo Jesus causes trouble in Taishan, China.]
└ Fuck. What video did I watch?
└ He is Chinese
└ Kya… Cheonma’s conquest of the central plains was crazy.
└ Huh? Why is it suddenly a thousand miles?
└ Last time, the Lord Jesus was in the Cheonsan Mountains and cried out to every thousand people.
└ You crazy bastard haha
But it was all to no avail.
Reality was different from fiction.
Is it because of human indiscriminate development?
Fables and lines have become words that only appear in novels.
In the end, I had no choice but to give up on Uhwadeungseon.
Actually, when I think about it now, I think I was crazy at the time.
What a fable in the world.
There’s no way something like that actually exists.
Still, thanks to being crazy, I was able to travel to various places around the world and gain insight.
Who in the world would think of getting in contact with a hippo with their bare body?
Probably, I wouldn’t have tried it if I hadn’t been a little distracted by infinite regress.
“Looking back, it was a good time.”
***
While the Lord Jesus was reminiscing and reminiscing about the past, time continued to pass.
Real Madrid players return home after completing recovery training.
Real Madrid’s YouTube account editor quickly edited the debate video and posted it to the YouTube channel.
Naturally, the video attracted attention in Korea as well.
[Title: ?: A story about a hippopotamus clashing with a crocodile is revealed.]
(The Lord Jesus said he had turned the jaws of a hippopotamus and a crocodile. Jpg)
… It’s nonsense, right?
└ㄹㅇㅋㅋ It seems old, but this guy’s vibe makes it feel real.
└ Look at Luis Garcia’s facial expression. It looks like this idiot is talking nonsense.
└ ㅆㅂㅋ Meanwhile, Luka Savic is nodding his head in agreement. LOL
└ If you look closely, wouldn’t Luka Savic be abnormal and Luis Garcia be normal?
└ If you look closely, Jesus is normal, and we are abnormal…
└ That’s not it.
└ Danju, that kid is abnormal.
The part where the Lord Jesus said with a serious expression that he turned the jaws of a crocodile and a hippopotamus was loved by many netizens.
[Title: Guys, if Mongolia and Europe clashed in the Middle Ages, who would win?]
Still, Mongolia will win, right?
└ (Photo of the Lord Jesus) This bastard wins.
└ Fuck haha, the one-man army, the Lord Jesus, is crazy!
└ Real-life Little Boy haha
Immediately, it was used and recreated in various memes.
While Korean soccer fans are laughing and having fun.
The last league game of the 1947-48 season has arrived.
***
The 38th round league match between Real Madrid and Sevilla was held at Real Madrid’s home stadium, Santiago Bernabeu.
“Historia que tú hiciste, historia por hacer. (The history you made, the history you will make.)”
In fact, this game was not important for Real Madrid, who had already confirmed the league title.
“Porque nadie resiste, tus ganas de vencer. (Because no one can resist your desire for victory.)”
However, the Santiago Bernabeu was filled with fans from early in the morning to celebrate Real Madrid’s league victory.
“Jesus! Let’s score a goal in the Champions League final!”
“Against stupid Barcelona!”
They hoped that Jesus would brutally defeat FC Barcelona in El Clásico, the Champions League final, and achieve the feat of winning the Champions League for the fifth time in a row.
“… “You bastards, can’t we even see?”
“Leave it alone. All we have to do is win this game and splash some shit on those bastards’ feast.”
The Sevilla players gritted their teeth at that sight. They swore revenge on the Madridistas who acted as if their match was not important.
Sevilla, who had been gnashing their teeth at the Madridistas who had been ignoring them until just before the start of the game, started with the referee’s whistle.
“Booooo-!! You idiots! “Offer an offering to the gods!”
“Hala Madrid!”
“Our God is still hungry!”
“Hala Jesus!”
I couldn’t help but be taken aback by the madridista’s sudden change and loud booing.
***
I started in the game against Sevilla. There was no particular grand reason.
The only reason was to say hello to Real Madrid fans before taking a sabbatical.
“Jesus, you must never get injured! “We have to win the Champions League 5 times in a row!”
“That’s right! Instead of running, stay under the shade!”
I showed a smile to Real Madrid fans who were worried about injuries.
“Then I’ll just score three goals and leave.”
As time passed and the game began. The crowd booed Sevilla heavily.
I began to leisurely hunt the panicked herbivores.
***
[Goooool!! Jeju scores a hat trick just 20 minutes into the game!]
[It was a very soft turning shot. Seville’s players just look on.]
[Oh, Coach Valverde is calling Jesus. Jeju leaves the stadium with applause from the home fans.]
.
.
.
Game over.
Real Madrid 5:1 Sevilla
[Real Madrid decorates the 38th round of the league with a pleasant victory. The remaining schedule is the Champions League final against FC Barcelona.]
[Just before the end of the game, Sevilla’s consolation goal to restore their pride.]
[Valverde scolds Real Madrid defenders. ‘You have to concentrate until the last moment. We are now at a crossroads in history.’]
[Jesus is substituted out at the same time as the hat trick. ‘I kept the promise I made to the audience right before the game started.’]
[Valverde, after watching Jejus’ interview, ‘Madridista does not want Jejus to take a sabbatical. So, for the sake of madridistas, I will prevent Jeju’s sabbatical year at all costs.’]
[Jejus, responding to Valverde’s interview, proudly declares sabotage. ‘If you don’t give me a sabbatical, I will score an own goal.’]
