Chapter 134 – What Does It Mean to Get Up and Do It?
I don’t have much memories of my childhood.
‘Are you kidding me?! Do you know what kind of money that money is?!’
‘What! So this is your money?! What a shitty bastard he really is…!’
All I remember about my mom and dad is that their relationship was bad.
It was my older sister who stopped the yelling of my parents who fought every day late at night.
A couple who screamed and fought together every day, of course, ended up in divorce.
As soon as the divorce was decided, the woman called Mom disappeared without even showing us her face.
My father left my sister and me in the care of her grandmother and went out to make money, never coming back.
I think I cried every night back then.
An unfamiliar environment, a grandmother who only feeds us and puts us to sleep, but neglects us and doesn’t care about us.
My father’s promise that he would come back if I sleep for ten nights, my wish that doesn’t come true even after I sleep for a hundred nights, and my mother that keeps coming to mind.
My sister comforted me every time I cried, saying that I was scared of everything and that I missed my mom and dad.
He placed a pillow under one blanket, held me in his small arms and stroked my head.
It was warm and comfortable.
When she felt very sad and lonely, when she was held in her older sister’s arms, strangely enough, she immediately felt happy.
Her older sister was much more mature than the blunt grandmother who didn’t even have the slightest interest in us.
Even though she is only one year older than me, she is the only adult to me.
It wasn’t long before I realized that even the adults I could rely on were still first-year elementary school students.
It was my kindergarten graduation ceremony, a night full of excitement that I could now become an elementary school student like my sister.
One day, it became a daily routine for her to forget her longing and sadness for her parents and fall asleep in her older sister’s arms.
That day too, I fell asleep in my sister’s arms, brushing her hair, but was it because of the excitement just before?
She woke up to a slight tremor in her head and chest and saw her sister’s sad tears.
My sister held her breath and even held back her trembling, shedding tears in fear that I might wake up.
My older sister would always comfort me first and put me to sleep, then she would grieve alone and suffer from the scars left behind.
My older sister, who was like her mother and father to me, was in elementary school and she was falling apart like me.
The moment I found out that fact, I hated myself so much.
My sister must have had a hard time, so why did I only rely on her?
Even though she teaches me to study and gets 100 points on her school exams, she is still her sister.
Why was I making her older sister take on the responsibility of being her parent when I wasn’t her adult?
Her older sister must have needed an ‘adult’ as well, and she would have needed warm comfort to soothe her wounds.
‘…Mom, where did Dad go? ‘Where on earth are you doing?’
My sister was having such a hard time, where have all her adults gone?
In her older sister’s arms, her doubts, distrust, anger, and disgust toward her elders boiled over.
My sister was injured in a fight for which she was not responsible. My older sister was hurt by the selfishness of her elders.
Her sister is crying because of the trash named her mom and dad. Her grandmother also ignores that responsibility.
The longing and sadness that remained within me gradually degenerated into hatred and resentment. I started hating and hating adults.
Because of those bastards’ mistakes, my older sister collapsed, and I couldn’t stand to see her being ruined.
‘Uhm…’
’Yu, Yunbyeol…?’
She secretly held her sister in my arms, pretending to sleep talk.
She mistakenly thought I was asleep and only then did she start crying loudly in my arms.
If no one can hug her older sister, I can become her older sister.
She had made up her mind the next morning when she saw her sister, who had greeted her casually with her swollen eyes.
She said that she would protect her sister no matter what, and with that in mind, I became an elementary school student.
Even though she was going to school, which was what her young heart had hoped for, she was not as excited as before.
Rather, I could only see more traces of the pain my sister had endured.
The second year seniors were bullying her by teasing her older sister, calling her a beggar and an orphan.
That it smells because it hasn’t been washed, or that no one came to the parent observation class.
They say it’s nice that they have more time to study because they don’t have friends, or that they come to school to eat free food.
When she heard her sister sobbing alone in her bathroom during recess, she thought she was going crazy.
This means that my sister was spending much lonelier days out of my sight.
But it’s okay now, because I can keep things like that from bullying her sister again.
During break time, she took a pair of scissors and went to the older girl who had been bullying her older sister and ripped off her head.
Hair falling down in the hallway, a senior who cried with tears, a teacher who scolded me.
Even though the senior’s parents came to school and pointed their fingers at me and cursed at me, it was okay.
‘This is why people without mothers and fathers…!’
‘Oh, stop it honey. No matter what I say…’
Because it was all true.
I have no mom or dad. So I protected her sister from her responsibilities.
Because no one taught her, she did what she thought was right.
Is that why it was like that?
An angry adult was swearing at me, who was only 8 years old, but I wasn’t scared at all.
Instead of shedding a single tear, I felt relieved to see my senior who was so scared.
No one will bother her sister now, she has protected her from the responsibilities left behind by our parents.
With such a young mind, she was smiling in anticipation of her older sister’s praise and caress.
‘…I’m really sorry… I’m sorry…’
However, my sister bowed her head to them, crying even more bitterly than when she was being bullied.
She kept bowing her head to the things her sister, who had done nothing wrong, had done wrong to her.
‘No matter how bad a person she is, if she bullies her, she becomes a bad person too!’
Scolded by her sister
‘…I’m sorry, sister…’
‘…It’s okay, can’t you do that again next time? Because Yunbyeol is my kind and smart younger brother.
If we study hard, are we sure to become great people? Then, one day, Mom and Dad will definitely…’
My sister immediately smiled at the apology and held me in her arms.
As expected, everything her sister said is correct.
Even if I try my best to protect my sister, I am still only a child.
This world likes smart people, and talented people make a lot of money.
If I become a ‘cool person’ like my sister said, rather than a scum like my mom and dad…
It was the moment when she finally realized how to become an adult who could protect her older sister.
The next day, I went to see that second-year senior and bowed my head and apologized, just like her older sister.
He just studied quietly in class and treated friends who approached him kindly instead of rejecting them like before.
Then, naturally, many friends appeared around me, and teachers also began to trust me.
He became what people around him called a ‘model student.’
She received lessons from her older sister every night, up to a grade above her, and never missed the top spot in the entire school on every test.
As she became an excellent student recognized by the school, she was even called a gifted child and even received support from the city.
We were able to go to middle school without the help of our grandmother, who never gave us a penny.
During those three years, I acted as a sincere student and got all my teachers and seniors on my side.
If her timid and quiet older sister noticed her twisted bug, she used her connections to handle it without being discovered.
I worked really hard, participating in competitions and school events and collecting scholarships to pay for college tuition.
A peaceful day spent alone with her older sister without being disturbed by anyone.
I really thought it wasn’t that far away.
Until I reaffirmed my feelings for her sister.
When she had just entered high school, her older sister was a senior in high school.
The outstanding figure and pretty beauty that began to appear due to the loss of belly fat and the reduction of fat in the waist and cheeks.
She was an attractive woman who smiled kindly and kindly at everyone.
Because of her quiet and shy personality, she never had any friends…
Still, she felt at ease because the things that were bothering her sister for reasons uncharacteristic of her were gone.
It was spring, when the cherry blossoms were still in bloom, and I went to the library to have a meal with her older sister.
‘Sister~ Sister───’
‘Well, um… Yunsol’s older sister? I like that older sister.’
‘Uh…? Uh, no… Me…? Oh, no, that’s…! It’s not that I don’t like it…!’
‘…If you feel burdened, please answer later! Then!’
A male student runs out without even noticing me standing in front of the door.
It was a boy who was in the same class as me and a boy who was on the same book committee as her older sister.
‘…’
It was nice to find someone other than me who could like her sister.
I even received a confession from a student in my class who was sincere, good at studying, and handsome.
This is really─
──I don’t like it.
‘Whoa, whoa… Uh, what should I do…’
‘…Refuse.’
‘Aaaaah! I’m surprised… Yunbyeol…? ‘Since when has it been there…’
Prison──
Running into her sister’s arms, she buries her face into her plush chest and takes in her breath.
The thick smell of books mixed with sweet body odor, my sister, my sister’s special smell.
I feel the peace of being hugged by cotton soaked in the warm sunlight and the sound of my sore heart.
I respected, admired, and loved her older sister.
My sister is mine, she can never be passed on to someone else.
Mine, mine, mine, mine, I liked it first, my sister.
I was held in these arms first, it’s mine, it’s mine, it’s my place, my–
‘Um, but… Yunbyeol, did you hear that…? I told you to refuse earlier…’
‘…You’re cleaning alone again, right? Please refuse that kind of thing!
‘I have to eat late because I’m always waiting for you~ I’m hungry!’
‘Ah, ahaha… How can you refuse? It’s something I have to do… But it’s all over now. Let’s go eat.’
My sister’s hands combing my hair.
Her sister neatly gathers the books piled up in front of her and walks out of her library ahead of her.
She bites her lip at the feeling of the warmth still lingering in my hands, on her face, in her hair, and the feeling of her heart tightening.
‘Sister, I like you…’
‘Huh? ‘Did you call me?’
It was a voice so small that it couldn’t be heard, but she heard it and smiled softly at her older sister, who was looking back at her.
‘…No, I didn’t call you. Let’s hurry!’
Ah, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it…♡
She did not yet have the courage to convey the feelings that were just beginning to shine in her heart.
I’m 20 years old, the year I become a full-fledged adult. Let’s confess this on my birthday.
If I’ve become a wonderful adult, I’m sure my sister…
She runs towards her older sister, who tilts her head, and hugs her as if clinging to her.
She is the older sister who always accepts the pampered child with a smile, even if she is tired of receiving it.
I will definitely make you happy. I will definitely make it mine.
* *
“Huh?!”
“Oh, master, are you awake? How was this girl’s head? Was it fun?”
“…Incest, lesbian…?”
“Master, are you crazy?”
* *
