Chapter 42 – Episode 42 – [Side Story] Jeong in-Ae – Mother’s 20s
She turned twenty, but nothing changed.
After her mother left home with her younger brother in middle school, her father refused to send me to high school, saying, “What would a girl do with her studies?”
It wasn’t an era where women didn’t go to school, but my father was born in that era, and to him, a woman was a being who just had to stay at home, cook, do laundry, and accommodate men’s desires.
When I went to school, I was a pretty good student, and although I’m embarrassed to say it out loud, I was popular among teachers and friends alike because of my pretty face.
But when I came home, hell unfolded.
My father, who was a worker working in a factory eating iron powder, was a tyrant at home.
He was almost always drunk after work, and I never saw him smile.
My mom, I, and my younger brother had to live with bated breath, always watching what our father thought, and if we disobeyed our father just a little bit, the meal would be blown, and punches and kicks would pour in.
The target was mainly my mother, and after she poured out her anger like that, she got angry and kicked my brother and I out of the house.
Since I had nowhere to go after getting out of the single room in the semi-basement, I was squatting on the stairs with my younger brother, and I could hear my mother’s whining and moaning and sometimes screaming from inside the house.
Unlike my younger sister, I knew what my parents, or rather my father, was doing to my mother, but I deliberately continued to talk to her younger sister and pretended not to hear it.
And when I was in my third year of middle school, my mother left me here and ran off somewhere, taking only her younger brother with her.
After that, the days I spent alone with my father continued.
Even though I ran away from home once, the world that a minor with no one to rely on, especially a girl, left alone was full of fear.
I couldn’t last even three days and went back home, prepared to be beaten by my father, but strangely enough, my father didn’t hit me and just told me to prepare dinner.
My father was still a fearful person, but after he came to live with me, he became less violent.
Of course, it wasn’t ‘often’ and it wasn’t absolutely non-existent, but if you pay enough attention, you can somehow get by.
That’s how I spent my teenage years meaninglessly and entered my 20s.
But nothing changed even when I turned 20.
While other girls my age were going to college and making boyfriends, I was just serving as my father’s maid.
However, at some point, I felt that my father’s attitude towards me had changed slightly.
He was a person who was always verbally abusive and harsh, but strangely, he seemed to have softened a bit.
An uncool, blunt yet coy attitude that seems to be typical of a woman of that age whom men of that age want to seduce.
While she was sleeping at night, she felt someone’s presence and when she opened her eyes, she saw her father looking down at me. She was so startled that she screamed.
“Why should I sleep like this if I catch a cold? I should cover myself with a proper blanket and sleep.”
There was a time when I covered him with a blanket.
From the moment I started showing the characteristics of a woman, I was concerned about the glances that were being cast at my body, from boys my age to older brothers and uncles in the neighborhood.
It got worse after I entered middle school, and after I became a poor girl who lived in a single room and didn’t go to high school, all the men who knew about my situation looked at me with disgust.
And that included my father.
It wasn’t once or twice that I felt my father’s eyes scanning my body in a disgusting way while doing housework.
Still, it may be a miracle that she didn’t directly touch me until I became an adult.
Perhaps my father took pleasure in watching my body gradually ripen and waiting for me to become an adult.
When I turned 20, I looked pretty even to myself.
Sometimes, while taking a shower, I would stand in front of the mirror and stare blankly at my body.
Neat facial features, large breasts, narrow waist, round buttocks, and straight legs.
At this level, it was comparable to celebrities on TV.
When will a wonderful man appear who will save me from my father and run away with me?
When I looked at myself in the mirror and rubbed my breasts, I felt strange.
As I sprayed hot water on my body and rubbed my pretty clitoris with my fingers, I felt like my whole body was floating.
As I continued stimulating my nipples and clitoris while imagining being hugged by a handsome man who resembled an actor on TV and only loved me, my hands gradually became faster and the liquid from my genitals began to flow down my thighs.
After reaching climax while writhing alone against the narrow bathroom wall, I felt a sense of shame when I looked at my disheveled appearance in the mirror, but the next day I was doing the same thing again.
It was a late spring day, warm during the day but still a little chilly at night.
My father didn’t come home until late, wondering where he was drinking.
I waited until I thought I could wait for this long, then laid down the blanket, turned off the light, and was about to lie down to sleep when I heard my father’s footsteps.
On days when I came home late, people tended to turn a blind eye to sleeping first, so I just pretended to sleep and lay down.
As soon as my father came in, the musty smell of sweat and sour soju filled the small room.
My father was a well-known drinker in the neighborhood, and no matter how much he drank, he never got too drunk.
They just became a little more easily agitated and violent.
After entering the house and standing in the front door for a moment, I heard my father come in, turn on the light, and take off his clothes.
My father’s bedding had already been laid out next to me, so I just laid down quietly and waited to hear the sound of snoring.
After roughly throwing the clothes that were going to be my laundry tomorrow on the floor, my father, who was probably wearing panties, walked towards his seat and suddenly stopped.
I was lying on my side, and my father stood behind me for a while and then sat down on the floor.
What on earth are you doing?
I was curious, but I was scared to open my eyes, so I kept pretending to sleep.
“Are you sleeping?”
My father asked in a low voice, barely audible. I didn’t answer. My heart was pounding like it was going to explode.
This went on for so long that I couldn’t stand it anymore and just as I was about to open my eyes, I felt the blanket around my buttocks being lifted and a cold breeze blowing in.
At that time, I was wearing baggy shorts and a short-sleeved T-shirt.
Fear turned into anger.
Even though she’s a bitch, she’s still my daughter, and the only thing she does when she comes home drunk is to spy on her daughter’s butt.
But my father wasn’t just trying to spy.
I felt my father’s rough, hot palm touch my bare thigh.
At that moment, I was so shocked that my body flinched, but I continued to pretend to be asleep.
It was scary and confusing. I didn’t know exactly what my father was going to do, and it felt like he was going to attack me if I woke up.
All kinds of thoughts swirled around in my head, but in the end, I thought that if I just stayed still, I would touch it in moderation, and it would go away.
The hand that was slowly rubbing my thigh gradually rose and touched my buttocks.
The hand that was feeling the texture of the buttocks through the thin cotton shorts gradually became stronger and began to knead it.
A finger dug into the valley of her buttocks, and the fingertip reached the edge of her vagina.
It was not a gesture of secretly touching a sleeping person. It was a movement that said it didn’t matter if he woke up. No, my father had already noticed that I was awake.
Eventually I opened my eyes. I turned my head and looked at my father’s face. Even in the dark, I could tell that he was red and drunk. And it was shiny and wet with sweat.
“Father…”
“Just stay still.”
I called out to my father in a pleading voice, but the intimidating voice that came out as if I had expected it made my whole body freeze and I could not move.
“If I fed you and put you to sleep until you were 20, you should do this too.”
At the time, I thought it was just something he said casually, but when I thought about it later, it was my father’s sincerity. It may be impossible in the common sense of an ordinary person, but in his mind, he had been granted an enormous favor by raising him until the age of twenty, and now it was his turn to receive the reward in his own way.
At that time, it would have been a normal reaction to resist with all my might, even scratch my father’s face and run out of the house, but I was not a woman who grew up normally. I grew up being gaslighted by my father all my life, and my whole body stiffened at his words and I could not disobey him.
My father now threw all the blankets aside and made me lie down on my back.
In the dark, I was lying on my back, shivering, with my eyes closed. And then my father’s big hand went between my legs.
