Chapter 38 – 2. Hansel and Gretel (18)
I had a dream.
In my dream, I was a woman and Yuria was a man.
At a young age, I saw the naked body of a boy I had never seen before, blushing and whimpering as I almost dragged Yuria to her house, brought her and nursed her with sincerity.
I used a very expensive and precious potion that Uncle Cashwyn gave me to use only when life was really in danger, and after that, despite Yuria’s poor health, she often went out and hunted wild animals one by one. Used to come
Unlike Yuria, a woman, Yuria, a man, never left the house, chopping firewood and cooking for me.
Being out somewhere for a long time every day is similar to Yuria as a woman, but in many ways it felt very different from Yuria as a woman.
As a woman in my dream, for some reason, seeing Yuria like that, her heart tickled and pounded.
One day. The year I turned 16 Uncle Merkin invited me to the village to congratulate me on coming of age, and I happily headed toward the village.
And suddenly, her hand that jumped out from the alleyway made her mouth shut and was dragged away.
The first thing I had cherished until that day was stolen by the grandson of the village chief.
That,
It felt like the world had ended…
Was it because I didn’t come home for so long that he was worried? Yuria came down to the village she didn’t want to come to to find me. In the end, when she saw me horribly dirty and spread out, her tears began to flow as she looked at me with a desperate expression as if the world had collapsed.
YuRia sobbed sadly while embracing me who had been corrupted so dearly and shed her own tears with her own eyes on behalf of me who had been ruined.
Uncle Merkin, who belatedly found her Yuria, must have misunderstood that Yuria had raped me. She kicked Yuria away from me and started kicking her extension.
Unbeknownst to him, I clung to Mr. Merkin.
No. It’s not him who raped me…
Somehow the misunderstanding was resolved, but it seemed that it was not completely resolved.
After that day, Yuria almost stopped eating and drinking, and she tried to save me somehow.
Looking at me so sadly that I am almost empty and absent-mindedly, sometimes I cry. At times, he tried to comfort me with a forced smile and somehow tried to feed me something.
Yuria, who had nursed her for several days, left the house as if she had made up her mind. Instead, she was visited by Uncle Merkin shortly after.
Uncle Merkin asked Yuria to take care of him for a while and said she had gone somewhere, and she took care of me instead of Yuria.
But.
As the day passed, two days and three days passed, it felt as if Mr. Merkin’s eyes were getting weirder little by little.
“Loa, you look so much like your mother”
“…Mister?”
Something sticky gaze clung to her skin.
The touch that had been so reassuring to her began to feel shady and disgusting, like a snake.
Yes, just like that day.
YuRia came running with her own little bottle filled with her own medicine.
But it was already too late.
Puff poop poop, flesh colliding with flesh
There was the sound of splashing and splashing water.
The sound of the creaking bed and the smells that should never come out stung YuRia’s nose.
Yuria burst through the door screaming, and she kicked the man who was riding on top of her slender body and shaking her waist recklessly.
“I believed you!! I believed you!! I thought you could believe me but why did you!!
“…”
Yuria hurriedly approached me with a cry and tried to pour the medicine into my mouth, but my mind was already broken and I couldn’t do anything.
I just became a living doll that can only breathe…
Yuria put her medicine in her mouth and passed it to me from her mouth to hers.
What is that drug
Having died mentally, I was able to revive, but the two incidents I experienced in succession had already taken away the will to live from me.
Even after that, Yuria took care of me with her utmost sincerity, and gradually I opened my heart to YuRia.
And I finally gave my body to Yuria.
It wasn’t the experience of being trampled on, but the experience of being cherished so much that I realized for the first time that my experience with a man wasn’t all bad. After that, I often clung to Yuria.
Love me.
Please love me more
To feel that I am loved… I’m only alive for the moment
But I didn’t know.
How did YuRia feel? With what mood. In what state were you staying by my side?
One day, when her Uncle Cashwyn came to visit, she took care of herself differently than usual, so YuRia, who was staying at her house, and her Uncle Cashewwin had no choice but to face each other. YuRia, who was misunderstood by her, was seriously injured at the hands of Uncle Cashwyn.
Of course. Although I hurriedly dried up her uncle and cried and blew and hung on her, her uncle hurriedly healed her Yuria.
And…
I didn’t know that I lived only in her house watching her Yuria
The village was a mess because winter came so early.
In the end, Yuria greeted Uncle Cashwyn with a very sad expression and left us.
And.
After a while, the unexpected winter ended and the season returned to autumn again.
And Uncle Cashwyn looked at the will he received from YuRia and said she took me somewhere.
There, he could see Yuria dying in such a gruesome way.
There was a book in the part where I could barely tell that it was a hand.
I thought it was Yuria’s keepsake, so I carried it in her heart and brought it down to her house.
Even thinking that YuRia died because of me. Thinking that Yuria died to save me, I strongly decided that I had to live somehow.
And.
I want ████…
“Aww-?!”
Huh! Huh Eok!!
It hurt as if someone was grabbing and squeezing Samjang.
Am I the me who was a woman in my dreams?
Am I the man now?
The six years’ worth of new memories from the time I met YuRia felt so vivid.
As a woman, I didn’t know, but I felt like I knew why Yuria died.
The man, Yuria, did not receive flowers from Mr. Merkin. To keep himself alive he used the fruit of the cedar tree on me.
In that state, I went alone against the Winter Queen. In the end, he somehow managed to defeat the Winter Queen, but it was only a handful of Dongguijin.
Knocking her down with her own life.
And. Deergia Goetia. Something must have happened with the magic book that I cherished and cherished because I thought it was YuRia’s keepsake.
What was it?
Something so terrible had happened, but I couldn’t quite remember it.
“…”
My head feels blank.
Her own feelings, her thoughts as a woman, were still very clear.
Little by little, her affection for Yuria grew, her chest tickling and her heart pounding, she felt herself.
She unknowingly kept her Yuria in her heart and was raped, and the pain that her mind collapsed and her heart was broken.
The image of her Yuria, who was so sad and sobbing at her own image.
When she came to her senses, YuRia was still lying in her arms.
Looking in front of her, she was staring at herself as if something was wrong as Uncle Cashewyn rummaged through her campfire and put in her new firewood.
“Oh, I had a nightmare”
“It was a bit strange. I laughed and cried. What kind of dream was that?”
“I see… What kind of dream is this?”
I wonder if Yuria’s heart felt like this… If so, that was awful.
It’s not that I don’t remember her, but I just couldn’t figure out how to explain this feeling.
However, there was one thing I knew for sure through this dream.
When Yuria had to go through that terrible experience, how did she feel?
And how much she wants to be loved. How much she longs to be loved.
“Yes…”
Awakening from her slumber, Yuria felt a strange feeling from Roa for some reason.
She wasn’t bad or good or anything, but something had changed in the loa.
I don’t know what it is, but something has definitely changed.
The Loa she saw before falling asleep and the Loa now were clearly different.
Roa hugged her warmly from behind and whispered a small whisper in her ear, even if YuRia didn’t say anything.
“Love you”
Oops… ?
“I will express more and say more in the future. How much I love Yuria.”
“Eh, eh?”
Although I was so happy with Loa’s words, she was strange.
Why does her heart hurt so much…
Strange…
I’m happy. I’m so happy…
Looking at Roa’s expression, YuRia felt as if her heart sank.
Yuria finally realized where this strange feeling came from.
Loa’s eyes looking at you.
It resembled itself.
Those eyes that are stained, broken, and have a broken heart…
Eyes that have experienced so much pain.
Loa, what the hell happened…
The next morning.
No. This morning.
After dawn, Loa looked back and looked as if she had returned as usual.
Neither the cashew window nor Nuri seemed to notice any difference, and Allen followed her cashew window around even today.
Karna’s fellow mercenaries were arranging their campsites, and the coachman hired by Cashwin was also servicing the harnesses and harnessing the horses that were grazing nearby to connect them to the wagon.
Was it a dream
No, wrong.
It’s not a dream.
It was faint, but YuRia could feel it.
Even though she suffers because she doesn’t want to worry Loa herself either. She knew that feeling better than anyone else, because even though she was sad, she was always pretending to be calm.
What the hell happened in that short amount of time?
In this situation that I couldn’t understand, Yuria felt very cramped.
What the hell could cause Roa such pain…
Loa continued to dream of her.
Following YuRia’s dream that she became a woman herself and her man she became her man, she had such a dream about what she would have become if she herself hadn’t met Yuria.
Surprisingly, Yuria didn’t die there, even if she wasn’t saved by him.
And YuRia, who was so ashamed of herself, found ■■■■ with difficulty and created a forest of cedar trees, which drained her energy and put her in a state of suspended animation.
However. Nevertheless, Yuria somehow managed to recover.
YuRia, who continued her life by chewing and eating the unrefined hard fruit of the cedar tree with an expressionless face and stayed there for several years, watched her world turn white in a daze in the forest.
To Yuria, this world was a place of no value.
She just dutifully chewed and ate and ate the fruit of the cedar tree, steadily recovering her abilities, and soon ■■■…
“What’s wrong?!”
It felt like something was stuck in my head.
Noise? What is noise?
Something was forcibly tarnishing part of my memory.
Only certain parts. I just lost my memory of something specific.
“The Yuria in her dream left this world after about 20 years… Her memories of how she left are completely gone, but she still remembers that much.”
Yuria in the dream didn’t feel like a human.
It was so expressionless and so emotionless.
Like a machine.
Machine. What is the machine what?
“Hey Yuria”
“Huh?”
“Can I recover just by eating the fruit of the cedar tree?”
After hearing those words, YuRia went into the forest for a while and she picked up a rather large pine cone.
“Eat”
“…”
Roa, who was flustered and embarrassed about something, bit into it as it was.
“Eww…”
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to eat it…”
Instead, Yuria panicked and hurriedly pulled her pine cone out of her loa’s mouth.
“Come on, come on! Come on! Come on, spit it out!!”
She spit out the fragments of the pine cones left in her mouth, and then the strange smell of oil and wood taste somehow disappeared from her mouth.
“But why is this?”
“The fruit of the cedar tree is similar to this one. Do you think you can eat it?”
Roa couldn’t say anything at YuRia’s words.
Because in her dream, Yuria was eating it. A few every day.
Without any change in facial expression.
“But why?”
“No, nothing…”
YuRia, who was still in Roa’s arms today in her wagon moving towards her destination, was not sleeping for some reason.
Come to think of it, maybe it was because she didn’t keep a watch last night and went to sleep.
Roa, who was looking at her gloomy and Yuria, kissed her on the forehead and Yuria kissed Yuria’s forehead. At that moment, her face turned red, and then she smiled as if she felt very happy about something, and she moved into Roa’s arms. Buried her head
“Hey, if I ask you, will you answer everything?”
“Huh…?”
She lifted her head, which had been buried in Roa’s arms, and Yuria tilted her head for a moment.
“It may be a bit difficult for a loa to understand… And some secrets even a loa can’t tell you. She’s not because loa isn’t important, it’s something she can’t tell because loa is precious. Those are”
At YuRia’s words, Roa organized her thoughts for a moment.
Except she harms herself once she finds out.
She or she, unless it’s something she can’t understand.
Are you saying you’ll tell me everything?
“Then… What kind of person was Yuria?”
“?”
As if she couldn’t understand what she was saying, Yuria tilted her head.
“So, what kind of person was Yuria before meeting me?”
“Were you curious about that?”
YuRia mumbled and pondered for a while.
Before meeting Roa, she was herself…
She hadn’t really thought about it separately until now, so she thought about it. The more she looked back at herself in the past, the She did and she was very surprised.
According to Roa, she was a completely different person before and after meeting Roa.
Of course, she and Loa weren’t much different when she first met her, but from that day on, she was already undergoing her own transformation. It is also very fast and with steep momentum.
“That’s right… Really, compared to the me before I met Roa, I’m a completely different person.”
YuRia, who thought she hadn’t changed, tried to put things together as she was surprised by such a change.
What was she like about her past self?
When she was young Her dreamy days are over. If she thinks about herself now, or before she met Roa, when she was complete, what kind of person would she be?
Do you see this as self-reflection?
“Um, that’s difficult…”
It was very difficult for her to make judgments about herself.
So, I changed her direction.
About what others have said about you.
“Joan of Arc?”
“Come to think of it, I said that before, but what is Joan of Arc?”
Yuria felt sorry for him.
Rapunzel too. Joan of Arc too. Because it didn’t exist here.
“Where I lived, I was a hero who saved the country with the body of a woman, and at the end was a general, knight, and saint who was accused of being a witch, betrayed and abandoned by the motherland, and died a disgraceful death in the enemy country.”
Few records of her life have survived.
Even so, her existence is her homeland, France. Because she was a shame that she did not want to be exposed in many ways, even as her England, who drove her to death as a witch.
All sorts of things. There are situations that are collectively referred to as ‘adult circumstances’, but in the end, this is the biggest reason.
France abandoned its national hero.
England later killed the woman who had been ordained her as her witch.
It’s never something to be proud of.
There.
That the country was protected by a woman with very low human rights at the time.
That she lost a losing streak to such a woman.
In many ways, men who had vested interests in society at the time probably didn’t like it very much.
“…And um…”
Something got hot on his face.
Another reason why she was called Joan of Arc.
“Joan of Arc said his breasts were very big”
“…”
Roa’s gaze naturally went to Yuria’s chest. To that, Yuria is so… She did, and she let out a strange groan and clutched her fissure.
“In my time, there were no witches anymore. It was also a time when it was revealed that most of the witches who existed in the past were not the evil beings that people thought they were. Not to mention women’s rights were equal to men’s. That’s why he didn’t really become a scapegoat, but a truly great soldier and general. That’s how he was called. As a symbol of victory… That, stop it! Heeing!!”
Her face blushed as much as possible, and Yuria twisted her body.
“Aside from that, if you think about what people around you have been saying about me…”
Surprisingly, she rarely heard people around her say this or that about herself.
At most, it was sexual harassment, teasing her with her big breasts based on her own nickname of Joan of Arc.
“Dating girl? Natural born solo? Ice queen? Hmm…”
In the meantime, Yuria suddenly remembered what she had heard from an unknown subordinate of hers.
“That’s right. I’ve heard that I’m like an existence that lost my mind and stopped even wandering. I didn’t think about it at the time, but now when I think about it again, I think it’s true.”
I gave up. Put it down I gave up.
Everything I’ve ever dreamed of everything you wished for The reality that I thought would never change.
Just fight, fight. Fighting again
Then people cheered for themselves.
At that time, it really was all that was left. Pushed by the wishes of the citizens who cheered them and chanted their name, they went out to the battlefield and fought and fought again, leading the war to victory.
The self at that time was really. It was something that had lost even the bare minimum of being a woman and a human being.
At YuRia’s words, Roa just stared blankly at YuRia.
“Then YuRia, do you remember the first time I met you?”
“Huh”
“If she hadn’t been rescued by me then, if she hadn’t died, what do you think Yuria would have done?”
YuRia pondered for a moment at her words.
If she was herself then, what would she have done?
“Somehow create a forest of cedar trees and chew the fruit of the cedar trees with an asshole…”
At that moment, Yuria felt a chilling feeling.
‘Can I recover just by eating the fruit of the cedar tree?’
The question Roa asked.
Okay. If it were me now, I would not want to do anything ignorant to recover by chewing the fruit of the cedar tree.
But what if you are your past self?
Taste or texture. And whether it is proper food is not a consideration.
No matter how tired and weary of fighting, the first priority would be to recover somehow and go to battle.
They would have forcibly created a forest of cedar trees, forced their bodies to fall into a state of suspended animation by their own will, and would have earned as much time as possible, and when the cedar trees had grown sufficiently, they would have woken up and eaten the fruit to survive and recover.
Whether or not her outside was swept away by a strange winter, it would have nothing to do with her, and Loa’s village would all freeze to death and disappear like Loa. And that eternal winter would have covered the entire continent.
“Roa… How did you ask that question?”
Probably not.
Hopefully not.
Loa and her have already realized how serious they are…
However, Loa’s gaze was still so deeply etched in her mind that she could not be forgotten.
Roa groaned and groaned at the sight of YuRia’s trembling eyes.
“I had a dream. The first dream was a dream in which I was a woman and Yuria was a man.
“…”
“The second was a dream in which Yuria never met me and she recovered on her own…”
“I see… That’s why I heard people asking if I could just eat the fruit of the cedar tree…”
Yuria hugged Roa as it was.
“What Loa saw is part of my ability. She can’t yet see the future and can’t control what she wants to see, but she sees a lot of possibilities that maybe she could have.”
“What?”
“That’s how I see the world… I’ve said it before. I’ve seen the future, but it’s not like a prophecy.”
At that moment, Loa felt something creepy.
“I’m not only looking at the past, but the present and future. I’m looking at all the countless possibilities that exist in it.”
“That, what is that… Can you still keep your sanity?”
With just a few snippets of her experience, Loa almost swayed herself.
Although she thinks it’s not a bad thing because it helped her understand Yuria more deeply, it’s true that it’s a very frightening experience.
However. You’re always looking at things like this in real time, on a far more ridiculous scale?
“Ah, no. I’m not always looking ahead to everything. I can control it. When I want to see it. The time I want to see it. The place I want to see. The scope I want to see. All of that.”
YuRia, who was hesitant for a bit, then… She sighed.
“But there’s no guarantee that it’s the future here and now. I’m not sure what future it is in any possibility. I can only estimate the events that will happen around that time through the common events that will happen at the same time in countless possibilities. Only”
According to Yuria, it really couldn’t be seen as a prophecy.
“Roa… Are you really a normal human being?”
“Yes?”
“A normal human could never, even with even a fraction of this ability, bloom this early.”
What about roa? And looked at YuRia.
“If you simply look at the blooming period of abilities, Loa. Your racial and spiritual hierarchy will surpass even the high elves.”
At YuRia’s words, Roa just stared blankly at YuRia.
Uh, what does that mean… ?
“…Let’s go to Cashwin. He must be up to something.”
