Chapter 179 – Familiar, but Strange. (3)
“Does frozen soil that has not melted mean anything to us? I know a lot of people are dying even on defense. But is it meaningful enough to force soldiers into the frozen ground?”
As Marey spat out, it seemed that her own words would give her goosebumps. I feel sorry for the victims. But that doesn’t mean they can’t advance north. If you think about it rationally, it was correct, but to the extent that she couldn’t believe that she had uttered it. It was a too rational answer that seemed to castrate emotions.
“Then how long do we have to put up with it? When will that prosperity arrive? Or when the frozen land can be captured with little damage?”
“The military does not exist to occupy other countries or lands. It exists to defend the empire from the outside.”
Marey, who had spat out the last words, bit his mouth tightly. And she realized she was wrong. It was not something she would say in front of soldiers. No, he was not a subject to speak to a man older than himself, as he would teach a soldier.
“Kids these days… You are smarter than we used to be.”
The old man drinks the cold coffee without showing any emotion. Still stern eyes were still watching Marey. She wasn’t admiring or praising. For some reason, she could tell that it was just that she was talking nonsense.
“…Thank you.”
The old man took out his pocket watch, glanced at the time, and nodded slightly.
“Now is the time for the person you’ve been waiting for to come. I was curious about what the kids are thinking these days, so when I asked them, I realized that they had been holding them back for too long. Is there anything else you would like to eat?”
“It’s okay. I ate well enough. It’s an insufficient opinion, but thank you for listening.”
The old man said again that she was happy and let Marey go. He stood up from his seat while watching the boy walk away.
“You speak just like Julia. It’s scary.”
The old man put on his bowler hat and walked quickly. I don’t know if she was Julia’s pupil, or if she resembled her or if she was taught that way. She was much more docile than what she usually said to herself. To put it a little more objectively, would you say you lack confidence?
However, he liked that he spoke his thoughts to the end without losing to his eyes. She shimmered, and it occurred to her that she really resembled Julia in her eyes staring at her clearly and in her eloquence.
I would rather believe it if it was Julia’s child. When she slowly turned her back and looked back, the boy had disappeared before she knew it. The old man burst into a small laugh and murmurs to himself that no one will hear.
“Marey de Parwen… Even if the blood of a hero is diluted, are you still a hero?”
The old man left the square without hesitation.
Marai hesitantly talked to the old man she met for the first time as if her opinion was correct, and she let out a small sigh at not even being properly evaluated. She summarized what Juliana and Ravella had told her, but she didn’t seem to be saying it herself.
As she spoke, she couldn’t remember what she said. Didn’t she say too much, didn’t she say something wrong? Those thoughts did not leave her head. It was just embarrassing with what confidence he had to speak so confidently to an old man who was a soldier.
Marey, who arrived at her house later than expected, found a luxurious carriage parked in front of her and Ravella’s house. A green dragon and a crude crest holding a sword were drawn. It belonged to the governor.
“Young master said Mare de Parwen… Are you right?”
A stranger, an old man who could be confident of meeting someone for the first time, spoke up. It seemed to have a relationship with the elderly today. The wooden cane he was holding in a dust-free white glove looked well-groomed and smooth, and his neatly trimmed beard didn’t look messy at all, and he felt elegant.
“Yes? Ah yes…”
Why did this person come to you? Marey could only nod his head and wait for the next words to be uttered by the old man who had come to visit him.
“My name is Dember, and I am the head butler of Pawenga. She came to see the young master. The governor is waiting for you.”
Seeing the older man putting his hand on one of his breasts and lowering his head, Marey was startled and had no choice but to dissuade the old man. She introduced herself as the owner of the house, but her smile was very hard.
“Young master is kind. I hope that the young master of Parwenga will adapt well. Ah, I forgot the time in this small talk. If we delay any longer, the Governor-General may play the bell.”
“Ah yes… Go, I’ll go!”
He was a hard, yet soft-feeling old man. His hand holding his staff looked awkward.
“I’ve heard before that Lady Ravela adopted her son, but I’m greeting you this late because she urged me not to come. You can call me Dember.”
“Hello, Dumber. Please call me Marey.”
“Unlike other families, the butler of the Pawenga is not a collateral. She is just a servant to Mr. Lauren.”
“Still, how can the elders…”
“She looks like Marie. I’m glad this old man is having fun again in his later years. It’s different from my little joy, but Marey-sama has to do that. The successor of Parwenga must not bow her head to others.”
I thought it was close, but the road to the Government General took a very long time.
“Do you have any favorite food? I will contact the chef right now and have him prepare it.”
“Nothing… There is no food to cover.”
“If you think of Ravela-sama’s meal, it will be a bit lacking in seasoning, so I told you to refer to it. Can you guess the symbol? The chef is looking forward to it.”
“Labella… Although her mother said she should eat more meat.”
I was skipping one or two of these conversations. The old man whom Marey had introduced to Dember was someone Marey had never experienced before. Although she seemed to be talking a lot, she was quiet. It was Dember who started the conversation, but it was Marey who continued to close the conversation. The topic of conversation was led by Dember.
“…Young master. As I get older, one or two unnecessary worries are increasing. May I tell you something that I might be presumptuous of?”
“Ah, yes…”
I didn’t know if I would feel bad if I put only words or sentences. When the butler said it, I didn’t feel anything like that. There was only a short thought left that I should listen carefully.
“Ravella is the only surviving blood relative of Lauren. He is a governor who is tolerant of flesh and blood, but from an objective point of view, he has very strict standards. Ravella-sama has never disappointed Lauren-sama.”
Dember was looking at Marey. Marey was also looking at Dember, but she couldn’t see. Even though she clearly had it in her eyes, she couldn’t figure out who she was as Dember. I think he’s looking, but I can’t picture the figure of Dember in my head, even though I’m looking at him with my eyes.
“I am happy because you resemble Marie. Now, the old man who is waiting for the day to die can only appreciate how great it is that someone like a young boy has appeared in the Pawen family.”
Perception distortion. In my head
The word passed by in an instant. A magic that Illien sometimes casts on himself and walks around the school arm in arm with Marey. I thought he might be a dangerous person, but his eyes were so calm that I couldn’t recognize what color they were.
That was so reassuring. Believing in the bracelet Erden gave me also played a role…
“That’s why I’m afraid. How the young master will be hurt by Lauren, who demands strict standards even for his own flesh and blood. So…”
Dember seemed hesitant. This old man knew about his birth mother. She wanted to ask, but she pursed her lips several times, and she didn’t know why she said it so suddenly, so Marey could only listen to Dember’s story.
“No matter what happens, please be patient. Loren is the biggest adult of the Pawen family. She is, and she is, an ancient dragon that cannot be matched by human thoughts. You know I’m talking too much about this topic. The old man thinks that there is a reason why Ravela, who has never been stubborn, adopted the young master. Please do not disappoint the Governor-General and Ravella-sama’s expectations.”
Marey realized. She said that the character of Dember was not a kind or nice person. Her mind began to clear. Her head began to roll slowly as she was passing her time without thinking. The head butler, named Dember, realized that she was just warning her.
She was telling Lauren not to show her disappointment.
“All right.”
Dember said she didn’t say anything further. Her eyes were focused on Marey. Marey silently received Dember’s gaze. No, she tried to see him. She began to slowly draw a picture of his face that could not be drawn in her mind.
She was said to be an elder, but was too rude to herself, her first acquaintance. But she wasn’t angry or anything. Marey asked herself several times. Why is she not angry with herself? Because she was simply talked about by an older old man?
No. She wasn’t sure, but she guessed why. The things Lauren said to Marey. Abusive language and insults spat out without hesitation at Marey, who had never met him. As that memory flashed past her, she was able to realize why she was so detached.
I didn’t even have any expectations from Lauren de Parwen.
There were times when she felt an unknown excitement at the name of governor. She often wondered what kind of person the person called Balter’s owner was, and her curiosity about the person Lauren sometimes referred to as Grandma was inflated like a balloon.
However, is it the problem that it was inflated too much? Or it was hard to tell if the existence of Lauren was so sharp that it had just blown up Marey’s expectations.
Her expectations did not fit. Is envy the right word? Marey smiled softly at Dember.
Her memories of her mother were fragmentary, analogous to shards of glass. She remembered each one over and over again, but there was no memory that continued. Even so, what expectations should we have from Lauren, who curses at her mother in her presence?
Lauren was an adult. He is also the eldest adult in the family. The only people left in Parwenga were Lauren and Ravella, but she still had to protect what she had to protect. It was strange that there was no reaction to Lauren’s words as she looked at Marey, but she didn’t really mean that Marey was fighting Lauren.
Although Lauren wasn’t given or brought anything by bending her body over and over. At least if it were her real mother, Marie de Fawen, she would understand Marey’s decision now. If she were Ravella, what would she have said? She wondered how Ravela would react, but she struggled to say.
She was worried that she would take Lauren’s side anyway, but more than that, she was afraid that she would fight with Ravella’s only blood relative, Lauren, because of her.
“You said something rude to Young master.”
Dember drew a small dagger from within her arms. Surprised, Marei instinctively held out her bracelet Erden had given her, but the direction of her sword was not directed at Marei, but toward her hand at her Dumber. She then cut off her own little finger.
“Ah…”
She was intermittently spurting blood, but it didn’t splash at Marey. Marey couldn’t even properly react to the blood flowing down to the floor, and all she could do was look at her little finger rolling right in the middle of the pool of blood.
“I don’t know if the old man’s fingers mean anything, but please forgive me.”
“D-Dember…?”
“You are lacking.”
The old man’s knife pointed at her own ring finger and cut it without hesitation.
“This, what is this? Blood, blood… !?”
“It’s okay. Young master, can you forgive the rude old man?”
Marey gasped for breath. With her pale face, she tried to make sense of the situation, but her mind went blank and she couldn’t do anything. She put her dagger to her wrist as she nodded and smiled, as if Dember was right.
“My right hand…”
“That, stop… !! Stop it! Dumber!!”
Her hands trembled and she couldn’t stand up, but Marey reached out and grabbed her right hand, which was holding her dagger. Hard, and very cold. A cold that was never thought to be human. She freaked out and she removed her hand for a moment, but Marey grabbed her right hand by her Dumber.
“All right.”
The old man nodded lightly and stopped the bleeding with a familiar hand. When I put an unknown iron in my hand, no more blood flowed out.
“Blood, blood…”
“It will stop soon, so don’t worry.”
“But Dember…”
I couldn’t read anything from the old man’s expression. No, I couldn’t see the old man’s expression. As if there was a hazy mist, I slowly drew his face until just now, but I forgot all about it because of the self-torture that made me sick.
The smell of blood made her sick and she didn’t want to sit in the same seat as the grotesque old man. To be honest, Marey wanted to run away.
“I think two fingers for one piece of advice is very cheap. You don’t have to worry.. I cut off her right shoulder when I spoke for Ravela.”
Did Ravela know someone like this? No, if she was the head of the house, she would have lived surrounded by people led by such a person when Ravella was young. Marey could only nod her head without speaking.
Saying that she cut her right shoulder. And the touch of iron that I felt earlier. Even moving slightly unnaturally. An old man with a prosthetic arm. Is it really right to go to the governor’s residence? I started to have such doubts. Marei looked out of her wagon as if anxious. If the front gate of the old Balter Castle had not been visible through the transparent glass window, she would have jumped out of the carriage right away.
“Welcome to the old castle of Balter, the current governor’s residence and viceroy. Young master.”
He was not an old man, but a ghost. He is alive, but without a body of his own. Dember was a ghost.
“Then, please enjoy the dinner with the governor…”
The carriage was sucked into the gates.
After entering the castle gate, she could not come to her senses. It felt unrealistic to move as Dember led me, wash, change clothes, and sit at a table lined with food that could easily be called a banquet.
If I close my eyes, I feel like I’m going to fall asleep. An unbearable vertigo presses her head as she thinks of the housekeeper who just cut off her own finger. It feels like my lungs are compressed. Can’t breathe properly Still, I had no choice but to calm my startled heart by forcibly continuing to breathe.
– Again. Again. Again.
The sound of her heels through the huge, tightly closed door pulls Marey into reality and throws him away. Only then did she have time to take a deep breath and examine her surroundings. Dozens of dishes still steaming, a huge banquet hall with no people in sight and too long tables.
– Again. Again. Again.
The sound of shoe heels coming through the door was approaching incessantly, precisely and at regular intervals. Obviously Lauren’s workplace. All Marai could do was inhale deeply and exhale rapidly, trying to somehow bring her back to her senses.
