Chapter 41 *Toraga's Point of View
Mariko's birthday is coming soon, isn't it?
The rooftop during lunch break. As Huangya, Hanamiya, and I were eating lunch together, Hanamiya suddenly spoke up.
Mariko, it's your birthday soon, isn't it?
I was told that when I first introduced myself. Toraga-kun, did you remember?”
I remember,” he said shortly to Hanamiya, who asked him while putting away his lunch box.
I remember it,” Hanamiya replied shortly, “I remembered it. At that time, I heard about his birthday without thinking about it, but the feelings I have now are different from those at that time.
It's just a birthday. That's what I thought until now.
I thought it was just a day to get older, but now I understand it because he celebrated my birthday with me.
I've been thinking of it as just another day to get older, but now I understand that a birthday is a special day to thank God for giving birth to you.
I'm sure you'll get something for Mariko, won't you? You will, won't you?
I was a bit distant from Hanamiya, who was talking to me with a bit of a bite on her face, and when I replied, “Of course I will,” Hanamiya's face turned into a sickening smile. What's with that face?
What are you going to give me as a present?”
I'm not going to tell you.
I and Rei-chan and the others are also going to give gifts to Mariko, but wouldn't you want them to be covered by each other?
The most important thing to remember is that you can't just go out and get a new one. You can wear a ribbon on your body. ……
“……! I'm your birthday present, honey. So that's what that means!
Mariko, I'm giving you everything I have.
Oh, my God, Toraga, you're embarrassing me.
You want to get hit?
The two of you are going to be able to get a good deal on a new pair of shoes.
Don't imagine things on your own.
He took back the shoes from Huang Yoru, clicked his tongue, and took a sip of the cola he had left by his side.
The two of you and Huang Ye night will start a farce and suddenly start talking about strange things, I can't keep up with you.
I'm not sure if it's a good thing that he's not as distant towards Huang Yao as he used to be, and Huang Yao seems happy about it.
I'm not sure if they've grown closer without my knowledge or not, but either way, I hope they get together soon. …… No, you should be more turned on by Hanamiya.
When I was thinking about this and looking at Huang Yao, he said, “What's the matter? Were you admiring my face? So I kicked him in the leg he was sitting on.
Don't be creepy.
Because you were giving me this really hot look.
That's disgusting.
Oh, my God, he looked like a demon.
“It looks like you two are flirting, so I'm going to Mariko's.”
However, his face gradually returned to his usual Hanamiya face and a somewhat sad expression appeared on his face, and he opened his mouth.
A day in a high school student's life is short, you know. You have to see them when you want to see them.
Hanamiya looked me in the eye as she spoke these words, which had a hint of implication, and I asked her, “What do you mean? I asked her, and she simply said, “It means that youth goes by so fast,” and opened the rooftop door and left.
After seeing the door with Hanamiya gone, I asked Huang Yoru, who was standing next to me, what Hanamiya meant, but he answered with a tilt of his head, “Doesn't it mean exactly what it means?” He answered with a tilt of his head.
If you say it means as it is,…… well, I guess it means as it is, but that's what you meant to tell me, right?
It's true that high school life goes by very fast.
I spent two years in high school somehow, but since I met that guy, time has gone by even faster.
Even though it is still September, I only have five months left to live in high school. Five months sounds like a long time, but I'm sure it will pass in an instant.
Five months have passed since I met Mariko. A lot has happened, but it was so recent that I can still vividly remember the time we met.
Now I can see her on weekends and on campus, but after graduating from high school and getting a job, I will probably have less time to see her than I do now.
Ah, it's true, youth goes by so fast.
The good times will soon be in the past.
Mashiro-chan, you sometimes sound like an old man giving advice.
“You're right, …….
Youth goes by so fast, doesn't it?
The last thing Huang Yao said was that we also left the rooftop.
(I'm not sure what to do with the rest of it.)
The most important thing to remember is that you can't be too careful with what you say.
— “I miss Mariko!
That Saturday, Mariko came to stay at my place again.
When I hugged Mariko who entered my room with a big bag and a supermarket bag in one hand and a smile on her face, I was relieved to feel her body warmth like a child and smell her scent.
When I pulled away and looked at Mariko's face, I saw her blushing and looking at my chest with a shy expression on her face.
I was so happy to see her expression and reaction that I put my lips to her forehead, which made her face even redder.
You don't die easily.”
He was the weakest one, limited only to Toraga-san. Even if he wasn't, Toraga-san is too strong, I can't win.”
This guy says funny things again.
I thought it was heavy when I carried it before, but it must be tough to carry this heavy bag every week.
I looked at Mariko's back as she put the food in the fridge and said, “If you have something you can put in my house, why don't you leave it there?” I said, “Why don't you leave something at my place?
Mariko turned around and said, “What? She stared at me with a face as if she didn't know what I was talking about.
I said, “It must be hard for you to come to stay here every week with all your luggage.
She then moved her eyes from place to place with a slight blush on her cheeks as if she understood what I was talking about, and asked in a small voice, “Is it OK if I leave my …… luggage here?” He asked in a small voice, “Can I leave ?
I'm the one who suggested it, but you can't say no.”
I'm not saying you can't,” he said in a small voice, “but I don't want to disturb you or …… you by leaving my things there.
“No, it won't.”
The actual a lot more you are able to do, the more you will be able to do.
The fact that there are things means you'll be coming back to my house, right?
When I moved closer to Mariko, who still had a surprised expression on her face, her expression softly changed to my favorite smile.
It's a soft and warm smile, like a flower spilling out.
Every time I come over, I might add more stuff to Toramasa's room.
You can leave whatever you want.
I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm sure I'll be able to find something that I'll like. I like Toraga-san more today than I did yesterday because of …….”
I wonder where the ceiling of that emotion of yours is.
I don't have a ceiling. There is no ceiling. These feelings are connected to the universe.
I can say whatever I want if it's just words. The actuality is, you can't say that to this guy.
If Mariko says so, it must be so.
In fact, I like you better today than I did yesterday. So I'm sure I'll like you tomorrow more than I like you today.
Little by little, I'm beginning to understand what you mean.
“What?
That's not what I meant.
While talking, I proceeded to put things in the refrigerator.
The distance between us became closer, and I felt Mariko's body heat and weight on both arms. Then I heard a strange voice that sounded like she was in a panic.
You look so upset.
I sat down on the sofa with Mariko, who looked at me with a panicked look on her face, and touched her hair to her ear.
I'm sorry,” she said.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just find your reaction amusing.
I'll forgive anything if you smile at me like that.
I'm glad I was born with this face.
The actual a lot more the better.
She moved her hands up her face a little and dropped her own lips on them.
The kisses only touch each other, and soon they break apart, and I catch Mariko's eyes moistening.
It was so cute and loving that I let my body move closer to hers so that I could hold her against my chest with my arms supporting her body.
Mariko's hand slowly grabs my clothes. Her head rubbing against my chest. The words “I love you,” she murmured as if exhaling.
All of these things, all of them, were what I wanted and desired.
In the quiet space, there was the sound of fabric rubbing against each other. The hot body heat is transmitted through the clothes.
The more nervous I get, the more I hesitate to move my body.
The time passed very slowly, even though it should have been the same.
Slowly, but surely, every second passed.
……I love this time.”
The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what is going on in your life.
I love spending time with you like this.
It's a peaceful, non-pressured time. …… I like Mariko for making this time.
The tears in Mariko's eyes were wet with tears as she looked at me.
The tears that soaked her eyes did not run down her cheeks, but were contained in her eyes. I watched as her eyes narrowed and her eyelids gently closed.
I also love this time I spend with Toraga-san. I love the time I get to spend with him more than anything else.
I see.
I love you, Toramasa-san. I really like you more than anyone else. I love you so much that I can't stop loving you and I feel like I'm going to lose control.
I like you, too.
I'm happy every day because of you, Toramasa.
The flood of feelings of love is rushing towards me as if it wants to swallow me up.
The reason why I find it comfortable may be because Mariko taught me that.
Because she taught me that the word “like” fills the empty space. ……
Do I carry this …… into the bedroom with me?
I put those thoughts away in the back of my mind and dropped my lips once more on Mariko's lips, which were now in my arms.
This time, the kiss is longer and deeper than the previous one.
— “Oh, my God!
It is almost time for the date to change. I turn off the TV to interrupt the announcer reading the news from the TV, and ask Mariko, whose hands are now warm with sleep, if she wants to go to the bedroom.
Mariko's head moves vertically, and she grabs her cell phone and turns off the light in her room.
Pulling her hand, I headed for the bedroom and made sure Mariko climbed into bed, got into her usual position and lay down with a pillow in her arms, and turned off the lights in the bedroom room as well.
In the darkened room, I could hear the sound of a car driving from outside.
Mariko, with the pillow in her arms, turned toward me and grabbed the hem of her dress as she closed her eyelids, while I played with my cell phone and waited for sleep to come.
A few moments later, Mariko spoke to me in a quiet voice.
'…… Toramasa-san, can't you sleep?'
'No, just not sleepy today.'
This guy knows why I can't sleep.
The dark space and the quiet room. I hate nights when I feel left alone in the world.
When I close my eyelids, my other self mutters that I am a person who is not needed in the world. Memories of my childhood come back to me.
I remember being lonely, anxious, and wanting to run away, and I was so sick and tired of it that I would walk around town with nothing to do.
I haven't been able to sleep at night like this since I met this guy …….
I dropped my lips to Mariko's head and stroked her hair as she spoke to me, trying to resist sleepiness.
'I'll go to bed in a little while, you go ahead and sleep.
'…… but I want to talk to you some more.'
The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you do it,” he said. The actual “I'm not a fan of the way you look at it, but I'm not a fan of the way you look at it either.
What do you want to talk about?
“…… what kind of things do you like, Toramasa-san?
You know what I like.
I want to see more of what I don't know about you.
I'm not sure what you mean by favorite things, but I don't have any more favorite things that I haven't told this guy about.
I'm not talking about the things I like most about ……. I can't find anything else I like at the moment, so I'll look for it.
Mariko laughed a little when I said that.
I put my cell phone down and put it under my pillow and hugged Mariko.
I put my arms under Mariko's head and laid my cheek against her hair, which smelled of the same shampoo.
I then took the pillow that Mariko was holding between us and put it on the corner of the bed, and her arm became entwined with my free arm.
What else do you want to ask me?”
“……Toramasa, how you spend your time at school, ……”
How he spends his time at school. ……
I'm not doing anything unusual, but what is it?
Yeah, you're looking for me in the morning, so I'm getting to school earlier.
“……”
“Then I see you in front of the classroom in the morning.
When I'm talking with Hanamiya and Reika, I suddenly like to make eye contact with you.
I like that moment when you give me a soft smile that melts my heart more than the smile you give Hanamiya and the others.
You know that time before when you looked at me and gave me a small wave before you left the front of my classroom?
…… Yeah.”
That was so cute.”
“I'm so …… happy that I'm in so many of your stories.
Yeah.
That's how much you've become a part of my everyday life.
The most important thing to remember is that you are not the only one who can help.
Talking like this makes me realize that even more strongly.
After that, Mariko mumbled something, but the words were too small for me to catch.
Soon after that, I heard Mariko's breathing in her sleep and smiled.
I knew she fell asleep right away.
I watched Mariko's sleeping face for a while and then put my lips to her forehead.
I heard Mariko's sleepy voice, so I felt a little drowsiness that I didn't have before, and I dropped my eyelids, too.
Good night.
Even though I knew I wouldn't get a reply, I murmured that to Mariko.
I knew she was there before I went to bed, and she would be next to me the next time I woke up.
That gave me a strong sense of security.
