Chapter 85 – Prasion
“···Brother. Are you crying?”
It was the voice of a little girl. So he couldn’t help but be surprised.
This place is dangerous. Even though it started to rain, there were still fires everywhere, and there were several dangerous buildings that could collapse in the aftermath of the battle.
······No, in the first place.
Why is there still a little girl in a place like this?
It is a city that is now abandoned because it was destroyed so badly that it could not be rebuilt. So, the evacuation of the surviving citizens should be underway by now. At least it wasn’t a situation where a girl would wander around alone like this.
But then, in the pouring rain, the girl holding the umbrella quietly spoke behind her back.
“When you want to cry, it’s better to just cry.”
“·······”
“I know because I was crying just now, but after crying, I felt a little more comfortable.”
This is unexpected and bold advice.
“Your brother must have had something to cry about, just like me, right?”
Shoot shoot shoot… Amidst the pouring raindrops, the girl’s voice resonated. The man laughed, but his neck trembled. Because the girl’s words were causing a huge ripple inside his chest.
The wave of emotions that had been stable at best becomes a huge wave and shakes at the unfamiliar girl’s word.
Why?
Why did the young girl’s words sink deep into her heart?
I don’t know.
But her heart aches.
Emotions that I couldn’t suppress gradually surged.
It’s tough. Pain. I couldn’t figure out what to do.
Even so, he suddenly realized one thing.
This is the first time.
Meanwhile, everyone hated him.
Everyone cursed and scolded him.
Everyone is···. Me.
But the first person who kindly comforts me like this is a young girl I’m seeing for the first time in my life today.
What a cruel reality this is.
“Because I want to cry…”
My voice trembles, perhaps because I can’t control my emotions. However, he asked the girl, barely suppressing the emotions that were about to spring up one by one.
It was a very dry voice because he tried to kill his emotions.
“What were you crying about?”
“Because I committed a sin.”
“Crime···?”
“Because my parents died today because of me.”
“·······”
The man was speechless for a moment.
It wasn’t until he spoke that he just realized what an insensitive question he was asking.
However, the girl continued with a voice that was low and yet sounded like a wailing cry.
“If it wasn’t for me, Mom and Dad wouldn’t have died from bugs today…”
At that moment, I felt a heavy feeling on my back. The girl tugged at the hem of her dress, and she leaned her forehead against his back.
It was sudden,
He had no choice but to accept the girl’s complaint.
Otherwise, as if it would break right away… Because the little girl was exuding a dangerous atmosphere.
“Really···. No, I do not want···. Why the hell did this happen…”
Suddenly, the girl was crying heartily.
We cannot see each other’s faces. But that’s why there was an honest story to tell.
So that.
Without even looking back to see who the crying little girl was, the man listened to her.
Now, in this moment, all he can do is
It was because I was just quietly listening to the girl.
“I had a fight with my parents today.”
“·······”
“I was very angry and said bad things. I hate my mom and dad… I hate to see… I said I was annoyed… And ran out of the house.”
My back was wet with the little girl’s tears. And the girl’s grip on the hem of her dress tightened even more.
“That didn’t work…”
“At that time···. She should have apologized honestly first instead of running away like a coward…”
“…Then I wouldn’t have been killed by the bugs instead of looking for me…
To the sorrow of a little girl who felt desperate.
The man felt something tingle in his stomach.
It was a guilty pleasure.
My sins are here too. Each and every one of the girl’s cries turned into sharp spears for the man, piercing her chest.
“…So I killed you two.”
The man clenched his fist at the young girl’s self-blame.
No.
It’s not the girl’s fault.
This wouldn’t have happened if I had prevented the bugs from reaching the city in the first place.
So this too… In the end it’s my fault
But the man couldn’t bear to tell the girl about it.
I was afraid.
The man was afraid that even the girl who spoke kindly to him would give him a resentful look like the other members of the unit.
It’s pathetic, and really selfish.
I was so disgusted with myself that I couldn’t hold back my sobbing.
All the emotions she had barely suppressed poke her head out through the hole. Things that had been hidden since I opened my eyes in this world were overflowing.
For the last hour the man had been thinking.
Why?
What did I do wrong to suffer in this fucking world?
Why do I have to watch others die because of me?
It’s me… I didn’t want to see the city destroyed like this.
It was scary. It was painful. Tried nonetheless.
But the result is this.
No one understands, and no one can understand.
To say it was a mistake, because too many people died to just say it was wrong.
It was like a scream in the heart. A cry for one’s sins that no one can understand.
The sins piled up one by one squeezed my heart.
What flashed through my mind at that moment were the countless corpses I had seen on the way. A person died the child died Too many lives have been trampled by bugs.
Thinking that the girl behind her also lost something because of her, she couldn’t help but cry.
How the hell am I supposed to pay this off?
How the hell can people who died because of me…
─Puff
Eventually, he collapsed, unable to bear the strength at his feet. His knees hit the floor hard. Raindrops splashed on the floor, soaking his whole body.
Then he lowered his head and confessed everything.
“···Sorry.”
“·······”
“I···. If only I had fought better… If I hadn’t run away from there… Your parents wouldn’t have died…”
“·······”
It was close to the sacrament of confession, in which the sinner confesses his sins. And it was also the cowardice of a man to relieve guilt even from such a young girl.
Even at that moment, I didn’t have the courage to look at the girl’s face properly, so I just lowered my head.
However, the girl did not resent or ridicule.
He just talks like he’s talking to himself.
“Your brother seems to be just as cowardly as I am.”
Then, suddenly, the umbrella fell to the floor. It is blown away in an instant by the gust of wind.
“Then, we promise from today.”
Shoot shoot shoot… It is raining.
But her girlish voice was so clear.
“From now on, we will not run away from each other… No matter how painful and difficult it is, I will not give up…”
Eventually, the girl whose face was unknown,
Instead, she leaned over her body a bit, even in the rain, as she silently hugged the man’s head and whispered.
“So now I can cry to my heart’s content. I do not resent her brother.”
2.
Childhood,
With the city collapsing and the loss of his parents, life at the institution he arrived at was painful and difficult.
For Karen, who was born into a wealthy family and lived without shortage, her life at the institution was a series of difficult lives to endure.
So ever since she entered the prison, she always went to bed with a picture of her dead parents in her hands.
But since when?
Suddenly, Karen stopped looking at pictures of her parents. Even though it is now the only remaining picture of her last family.
Pop. Pop. Drop…
Suddenly, the sound of water drops hitting the window sill.
“It is raining.”
The sudden sound of rain made Karen blankly look up at the sky outside her window.
Looking at the overcast clouds reminded me of that day again, which made me feel depressed.
Thanks to her, her half-forgotten memories vaguely came to her mind. The day she escaped from the evacuation procession and was secretly looking for the last remaining family photos in her house.
Karen met a blonde man with a hazy look.
Like her white skin and slender physique, she was a man with an unreliable atmosphere.
Even so, looking up blankly at the sky in the rain on her ruined street was like looking at a despondent puppy.
The look of her suffering something was so similar to Karen at the time that she couldn’t just leave it alone.
In a way, you could say that she felt the same way.
So, when she spoke carefully, she was just as weak as she looked. Until the moment she left, he never made eye contact with her.
Maybe you haven’t even seen my face.
Could it be because of guilt?
─I… If only I had fought better… If you hadn’t run away from there… Your parents wouldn’t have died…
Even thinking about it now,
Even to young Karen, that was stupid.
Was it because of one person’s mistake that a city collapsed so terribly that day?
So rather than resentful, I just felt pitiful. It felt like I was carrying a heavy burden all by myself.
…In some ways, Netoru, I think he’s similar to him.
Because that guy was also the guy who hugged a lot of things by himself.
Maybe it’s because they have similar hair colors?
Thinking of the man she couldn’t even remember her face anymore, Karen looked at Four Toru lying on the sickbed.
Listening to the sound of the rain, quietly watching him, motionless as if he were dead,
Squeeze-. There was the sound of the bedroom door opening slowly.
Looking back,
It was Natsuo.
