Chapter 70 – Verification
Could it be because the frequency of dreaming has increased exponentially recently?
Now I know where I am is a dream.
Did you say that dreams reflect the psychological state of an individual?
While the dreams I had in the past were of calm scenery, this dream was not.
Places…Not places I have fond memories of.
Where I spent my childhood.
But my appearance was the same as it is now.
I miss the current situation, which is safe to say that I have returned to the past, and my heart is heavy thinking about the future I already know.
Walked along the road
Before I knew it, I saw a familiar house in front of my eyes.
I was debating whether or not to go in.
I remembered something I had heard in a logic class before.
If you go back to the past and change what will happen, is the me from the past and the me from the new future the same person?
It’s a dream, so it doesn’t matter.
After a while, I opened the door and went.
Originally, it would have been correct to knock… But the thought that I was also a resident of this house was so natural that I did not feel any discomfort.
A popular chuckle was heard from inside.
Because there was always someone who needed to be there.
It seemed peaceful, but the atmosphere suddenly changed.
An invisible force pulled me strongly, and soon I was placed far away from home.
And…The house was on fire.
It was not a very good memory to see twice what I experienced once.
As if it was time to return to reality, the surrounding space began to collapse, and consciousness was soon cut off.
###
My head hurt like it would break.
It must have been even more strange that he didn’t have a hangover after pouring himself so much.
I drank something stronger than the alcohol I usually drink, and that too in a very short time, so I seemed to pass out on the spot.
If he passed out, someone would have brought him.
I knew that someone had brought me to this mansion because the bed I was lying on was not unfamiliar to me.
It annoyed me that the alcohol I drank to escape eventually sent me back to this place.
Now I feel like I can’t do anything on my own.
I turned my head hastily.
I want to have someone by my side
And I wondered if he hadn’t made a mistake.
Of course, the meaning of mistakes has changed a little since then.
Because I love you, I tried not to make mistakes to save you
Now, in a state where that love is broken and ruined, the mistake naturally becomes only a struggle not to be bound by that love.
It’s quiet outside.
No one seemed to be walking around and seemed to pay no attention to me.
As if you take it for granted that you will never run away.
Where did the idea, which consisted of just goodwill without a clear explanation, come from?
It made me wonder what I would do if I packed up my stuff in this room and disappeared.
No way.
I lifted the duvet thinking just in case.
Fortunately, the case I think did not happen.
Like having chains tied to your feet.
Or the whole body is bound.
Fortunately, I haven’t had that happen yet.
Smart.
I heard someone knocking on the door.
Who are you at this hour?
“Yes.”
In a way, he was an unexpected person, and in a way, he was a person who was expected.
Was a maid
I wonder if I felt comfortable after watching it for a while now.
Or did I feel a little more comfortable than other people?
A feeling of relief, not knowing why, settled in my heart.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Except for a little hangover, I’m fine.”
“Is that so?”
She said she had come to see her own condition.
Come to think of it, who brought me?
The last person I saw was…Ah, the butler.
I don’t know why that person came looking for me, but he must have heard someone say something.
“What time is it by any chance?”
“It’s two o’clock in the morning.”
It was evening when I left the mansion and went for a drink. How much did I drink and how long was I sleeping?
If I could forget it for a while, that would be fine.
“Hey.”
“Yes, sir.”
His nickname.
Is my location already fixed?
There was something more important than that.
However, I couldn’t answer the answer that I had to ask about it now.
Someone you miss will come.
“No, please suffer.”
“Okay. You can talk comfortably from now on.”
My thoughts and theirs seemed a little different.
Lay down on the bed again.
I couldn’t sleep, but I felt like I had to go to sleep.
I’ll have to talk to you tomorrow and ask for some time.
Jim… Has already been here, but I just need to pack a few key things.
As I was about to fall asleep, someone knocked on the door again.
Did the lady-in-waiting who came earlier miss something?
She asked me to come in without thinking.
The door opened and a woman entered.
But that person was not her maid.
Seria stood in front of me.
###
How would you describe the atmosphere?
Awkwardness? Nervous?
No matter what he explained, perhaps that atmosphere was an atmosphere that was difficult to come out of those who promised to marry.
Unless one party is at fault.
She was looking at me and I wasn’t looking at her.
I just lay back in the same position I was lying on and stared at the ceiling.
The situation based on the idea that someone will speak first has been going on for a long time.
Was it a battle of pride?
It seemed that no one was trying to lose.
But my thoughts soon ended.
It was because she opened her mouth.
“Ed.”
“Why.”
She didn’t speak after that.
“If you don’t have anything to say, go and see it. I drank a little and I’m very tired.”
The reaction that followed was mixed with emotion.
“Ed…”
Maybe that was the voice of a person before shedding tears.
But even those tears were somehow reluctant.
I don’t think it’s sincere.
“Are you hating me now?”
Did you hate
Are you tired
My answer to a question that sounds like that is, I don’t know.
Don’t you like it?
Was good You listened to me well. It fit well
I answered in the past tense, but the fact itself remained the same.
It was good for me
It seemed like he listened to my words well.
It seemed to fit well because it was me.
“No, I don’t hate it.”
My voice was very plain.
To the point where you feel uncomfortable with yourself.
“He was kind to me, listened to me well, and had fun.”
“But at some point I don’t know.”
“In the midst of a difficult time, you constantly talked to me by my side and said it was okay.”
“Thank you very much for that. It was really hard.”
At one point, I was spitting my heart out to her.
“That’s how our relationship developed… At some point, we even promised to get married.”
“But what did Haru hear?”
This was the beginning.
“After hearing that… I felt very strange to see you sleeping next to me.”
I decided not to say what it was about.
“I think it’s true that you love me, but why are you so embarrassed?”
“I thought I told you everything, but why do you think you didn’t tell me everything?”
“I thought the love you show could be a little different, but why does it feel like it’s wrong now?”
With every single word of mine, her smile disappeared from her face.
It was strange.
She really should have reacted like that if she was proud of herself, how could she do that?
It was because I was reacting like that, as if there was nothing wrong with what I said.
“I think the introduction was a bit long.”
“In short, I don’t trust you anymore.”
It was an inflection point in our relationship.
###
It was something I didn’t want to hear the most.
I’d rather this all be a dream.
But cruelly to her, the words were real.
When she found out that he stopped by the mansion and left right away, she was uneasy.
Because he didn’t know what to say.
Should I even overlap with him when I come back?
From the time her mansion was quiet, she was the one wearing only her underwear and gown.
The butler brought him back.
Seeing him sleeping fully stretched out made me feel like I could smell alcohol that I couldn’t smell.
He was brought to her room and she opened the door slightly to watch him sleep.
For now, I decided not to disturb his sleep.
Although it was love that had already given priority to her own feelings and actions based on it.
She was the one who realized that she had to put it aside for now.
After a while, a voice came from his room.
She called her maid to inquire about his condition.
Though I was going to talk tomorrow if he still doesn’t feel well.
Surprisingly, it seems that he recovered quite quickly after drinking a lot.
His room,
No, now they went to their room.
He allowed her to come in without thinking, as if he had mistaken himself for her maid.
Even though she was herself, her unusual attitude made her uneasy.
I have to tell her that she came, but she gave me a seat when she hugged me.
His unwillingness to do anything amplified her anxiety.
I have to say something.
I couldn’t say anything.
All she could say was to ask the male’s intentions.
Fortunately, he didn’t say no.
Happy.
And he had to be happy.
The problem wasn’t that.
He was expressing that he didn’t hate me when he should have said I love him.
His invisible hand trembled.
And…
Her subsequent words were no different from a death sentence for her.
