Chapter 126 – Chapter 126
Sigh.
The door of the study opened.
Do-kyun looked at Eun-chae, awakening tension in his whole body.
It was in preparation for a possible seizure due to trauma.
‘I think I’m still fine…’
It seemed a bit bad, but that was it.
He showed no anxiety, nor did he show anger.
It’s just that the atmosphere has calmed down a bit.
Do-gyun, who was slightly relieved by him, regained his composure and grabbed Eun-chae’s hand tightly.
It was too early for him to relax.
“Now, the fairy tale is here.”
Saying so, Do-gyun led Eun-chae to the bookshelf with fairy tales.
While holding Do-gyun’s hand, Eun-chae slowly moved her steps and looked at the bookshelf with fairy tales.
One by one from the top, there were some that Eunchae had seen several times before, and there were also fairy tales that Dokyun had never shown.
“… Many.”
“Is it?”
Eun-chae looked at Do-gyun, who let out a smile while saying that, and then moved her gaze to the bookshelf again to examine her fairy tale.
Eun-chae, who was contemplating her story for a while while choosing her fairy tale, pointed with her fingertips to the ‘ugly duckling’ in one corner of her and opened her mouth.
“… This.”
Looking at the book Eun-chae pointed to, Do-gyun thought, ‘Again?’, Then smiled and nodded her head.
Aren’t you a child with strong tastes in many ways?
Do-gyun stretched out his hand and picked up the ‘ugly duckling’ Eun-chae pointed out, then handed it to Eun-chae and opened her mouth.
“Is there anything else you want to see?”
“Well…”
A look of contemplation narrowing the gap between the eyebrows.
Looking at him, Do-gyun showed a small surprise at Eun-chae’s condition, which was more intact than he thought.
I thought there would be some kind of reaction because it was a space that he avoided, but other than that his mood had subsided, he didn’t show anything unusual.
‘Did I think wrong?’
A thought like that came to my mind, and I was trying to put my mind at ease.
“… Just this for today.”
Eun-chae’s answer came.
Eun-chae spat out an answer and then clung to Do-gyun, leading him to her door and expressing her desire to leave quickly.
It was only belatedly that Do-gyun felt the passing of realization.
‘… It’s not okay.’
You were caring for me
Do-gyun, trembling at such a thought, followed Eun-chae’s steps and left the door of the study, feeling sorry for her.
The gaze goes to the complexion of Eun-chae.
A little uncomfortable, but a complexion that recovers little by little as soon as you leave the study.
‘… You weren’t showing it.’
Eun-chae was worried about what I would worry about, so she was putting up with my feelings.
Do-gyun, who recalled him, put his buttocks on his sofa with a slightly sorry and proud mind, and found himself feeling a little sore in the belatedly.
It was because I felt a little bit of self-doubt at the sight of Eun-chae standing on top of my thighs, opening the first page of the book, and pushing him towards me.
Have I been in a hurry again?
Was my face hard enough that I had to notice this kid?
That thought went on.
Even as I accepted the book and read it with my lips moving, this thought showed no signs of stopping.
She thought she was a child she had to take care of, but this situation of being cared for was something.
Distorted perceptions need to be corrected.
Aren’t you so preoccupied with such thoughts that you can’t see Eunchae right away?
I could only guess why Eun-chae held back her feelings.
‘… They taught me that being sick is bad.’
Because pain and suffering are bad emotions, they talk so loudly that their ears pierce, and that must be the reason.
Suddenly, I felt a tightness in my stomach.
He was trying to control Eunchae in a different way from Seo Hankyung.
Only in this way is it no different from Seo Han-kyung, who always insisted.
In a way, it was an impression that could be called a leap, but it was a sentiment that could not be ignored.
He was giving Eun-chae another distorted perception.
It was instilling an obsession to always be happy.
Do-gyun, who had read the book to the end before he knew it, recalled the feeling of his heart sinking with a ‘thump’ as he looked at Eun-chae.
Unbeknownst to him, his lips were swollen.
“… Hey.”
“Yes?”
Do-gyun carefully examined Eun-chae’s face, who tilted his head, and then spat out his words.
“Did you feel bad when you went to the study earlier?”
Looking at Eunchae’s fingertips, which flinched at his words, Dokyun realized that he was right.
As soon as his expression collapsed a little, Eun-chae, who had been watching him, quickly opened her mouth, scattering some confused energy.
“No.”
What do you mean it’s not?
Even in the midst of this, looking at Eun-chae looking at my complexion, I hoped that I would feel tighter inside for a while, Do-gyun admitted that I was thinking wrong and remembered that I had to correct it even now.
It was right to make it right at this point, when I wasn’t yet sure that this was the right way to do it.
Do-gyun put the book he was holding down on the sofa and then opened his mouth while stroking Eun-chae’s hair.
“Are you worried about me?”
Question passed.
Eun-chae, who had been staring at me for a long time, nodded her head while slightly avoiding her gaze.
The words that came out of his mouth were words that shook me again.
“Because if I’m sad, Mr. Bee is sick…”
You made me notice At that thought, his fingertips trembled.
Do-kyun looked at Eun-chae, who was unable to meet his gaze with his head bowed for a long time, and tried to draw a smiling image somehow.
Wouldn’t Eun-chae be sad if she put on such a broken face?
“Well, I guess I didn’t speak well.”
Do-gyun looked at Eun-chae, who raised her head little by little, and continued.
“As you said, when you are sick, it is true that I become sad. But, that’s not always a bad thing.”
Eun-chae tilted her head.
It must be because it contradicts what has been said so far.
In response, Do-kyun realized that what he had to teach her was not ‘sadness is bad’ but ‘sorrow is not like that.’
“If, if, there is.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m so sad, I’m so sick, how would you feel if you were hiding it?”
Eun-chae was taken aback by Do-gyun’s words and moved her body. She carefully inspected Do-gyun’s complexion and opened her mouth.
“Are you sick bee?”
A word that narrows the brow and passes.
To that, Do-kyun let out a chuckle and shook his head in response.
“No, you said if. I am not sick right now.”
A face that barely clears its expression at those words.
Do-gyun asked the question again after looking at him.
“So, what do you think?”
Eun-chae continued her worries with an ‘um’ in response to the question that was asked again.
“… I feel so sad.”
Sweet and sour. Her lips picked out her words, and after a while, Eunchae’s words continued.
“If the bee was sick and didn’t know, she would be very sad and sick.”
Raw, unadorned words.
That’s why it touched me more.
As always, Eun-chae’s words were full of unadorned sincerity, and there was a side that moved her heart.
Do-gyun, who hugged Eun-chae tightly, pondered over what would be an appropriate word, and then spat out an answer.
“I am the same. If you didn’t know you were sick, you would be so sad. You’ll hate me so much for not knowing that and being so excited by myself.”
“I can’t…”
“Yeah, no.”
After replying, Do-kyun opened a little distance from Eun-chae, whom he had been hugging until the day before, and continued her words while looking into Eun-chae’s eyes.
“So, for me and I for you, we must tell each other when we are sick or sad.”
Whenever she tries to explain something to Eun-chae, she always chooses her words carefully.
It was because she was worried about what to say so that Eunchae could properly accept her will.
Wouldn’t she accept it distorted?
The thought kept coming back to me, and I was so careful.
“Sad is not a bad thing. Because everyone has sad moments. However, if you don’t solve it well, it becomes a very bad thing.”
“… I do not know.”
Do-kyun looked at Eun-chae, who tilted his head a little, and opened his mouth with a small smile on his lips.
“Before I came, what did you do when you were sad?”
At Do-gyun’s question, Eun-chae’s gaze turned to her wrist.
“… It hurt.”
Traces of self-harm that have now become scars.
It was a trace that Eun-chae and Eun-ah had to carry for the rest of their lives.
Looking at him, Do-gyun felt a bitter sentiment rise again, and opened his mouth as he placed his hand on the chest.
“So, is the sad thing gone?”
“… No.”
Eun-chae’s head shook.
Do-gyun shook his head and looked at Eun-chae, who was looking at him, and continued, tickling the scar on Eun-chae’s wrist.
“So that’s not the right way to deal with sadness?”
“… Yeah.”
“Then which is the right way?”
Eun-chae wrapped her head tightly in response to Do-gyun’s question, continuing her worries.
“When you were saddest, what did you want?”
Eun-chae’s gaze turned to Do-gyun.
The saddest day
If asked, Eun-chae would answer without hesitation.
However, she said that there was not a single day that she wasn’t sad.
Every moment I woke up was terribly painful and sad.
Again, Eunchae’s eyes turned to Dokyun.
‘What I wanted.’
What I wanted in those moments.
When I think of him, the answer came out ridiculously easily.
“… I wanted you to hug me.”
I wanted someone to hug me so that it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
I wanted you to stop yourself.
When I remembered that thought, Mr. Bee gave me a bright smile and hugged me.
The pat on the back was so kind that I felt like I was about to lose my strength.
“That’s right, sadness is not resolved by oneself, but by being comforted by others.”
Mr. Bee said that, and after a moment of silence, he spoke his words.
“Everyone needs someone to comfort them. Grief is too heavy to bear alone, and someone has to share the burden.”
“… Then the recipient gets sick.”
“It’s okay.”
Bee-sama sputtered another unknown word.
When I tilted my head at that, Mr. Bee continued with a small smile.
“If you do that instead of being sad, after the sad thing has passed, something else fills the void.”
“Anything else?”
“I can’t just do this and pick it up. What happens to the vacancy that has been created is different for each person. There is pride, and there is intimacy. Sometimes love arises.”
Mr. Bee said that and stroked my hair, then added in a very comfortable voice.
“That’s how everyone shares each other’s burdens. It takes away a little of my own sadness, puts someone else’s sadness in its place, and overlays happiness on top of the sadness.”
Bee-sama’s hand covered my wrist again.
“Then you won’t be sad anymore. Like the scar here, even if the sad memories remain, they don’t hurt anymore.”
I asked a question while watching the bee looking at my wrist.
“Then, when Mr. Bee is sad, am I helping him?”
Mr. Bee widened his eyes at my question and nodded his head with a puffy laugh.
“Yes, if I am sad, you have to help me. My body is heavy, so I can’t move even one step when I’m overwhelmed with sadness.”
Mr. Bee said so, calling his body loudly in a tone that wanted to hit him a little.
At that, I nodded my head slightly, looked at the bee, and spit out an answer.
“Then I will listen for you. Bee please tell me.”
“Thank you.”
After that, while the quiet atmosphere continued for a while, Mr. Bee opened his mouth once again.
“But I’m sorry if I gave you mine.”
Having said that, Mr. Bee looked at my wrist once more, then looked at my eyes and continued.
“So, can you give me some of yours too?”
The lips were soft and tender.
Thoughts ran through my mind.
What was I sad about? It’s been a long time since I thought of such thoughts, and thought, ‘Wouldn’t this be heavy for the bee’, ‘Wouldn’t the bee be too sad’?
While I was looking at the bee smiling at me, I thought that it would be okay if it was the bee.
“… Yeah.”
He nodded slightly.
