Chapter 171 – Mesgaki and Remnants of the Past
“Are you all right now?”
Eun-je’s kind words lingered in my ears.
How many minutes had passed with your face buried in a warm embrace? 3 minutes? Or 8 minutes long?
There is no way to know for sure, but to me now, being in this arms was so comfortable and warm that it seemed to calm my mind.
“No.”
“But can I come out? I’m starting to get wet.”
Looking at it again, only Eun-je’s chest was different in color.
I didn’t know, but I shed a lot of tears.
“But now the tears have stopped.”
He gently stroked my hair while wiping my eyes with his thumb. Soft and warm
People always said It is said that when sadness is filled, the emotion breaks through the limit and flows out as tears. It is said that once tears come out like that, they will flow until all the emotions of sadness disappear.
Because people die more and more when the sadness grows too much.
That’s why he said that after shedding tears, he can control his emotions to some extent. Could it be that the current me too has just shed tears, so I have managed to control my emotions?
“Jaejun-ah, if you feel better now, just lie down on the bed. Nero seems to be worried about you too.”
“Nero?”
“Aww…”
Perhaps he was watching me tearfully and sadly from the side, but unlike usual, his tail was drooping and he was looking at me with pity.
Are you worried about me too?
I laid on the bed and slowly closed my eyes while hugging this wonderful child’s head.
When I wake up… I hope something has been resolved.
After finishing this job quickly, the feeling of returning to my daily life was stronger. I’ve finally stabilized a bit, but I don’t think I’ll want to live if it collapses again.
***
“Hello?”
[“How is Jaejoon? Are you okay?”]
“I was crying until now and I’m sleeping now.”
I knew for sure because I had checked that he was asleep. Soothe her when she cries and caress her until she feels better.
He was rather anxious because that was all he could do. I’ve already felt it since we met, but it seemed like he was getting more and more unstable.
When I saw him on air yesterday and before, he was a somewhat stable and kind kid, but seeing him now, he became more and more anxious and having a hard time.
“So what happened. Can she report it?”
If you ask about personal family affairs, originally it shouldn’t be, but I knew about the current situation because I asked what happened earlier to judge the situation.
Her real mother is the problem… I can’t imagine, but the person involved must be that hard. Originally, parents sacrifice for their children and are rewarded by seeing them do well.
If that’s the original image of a universal parent, in Jaejoon’s case, it’s beyond being very twisted and just doesn’t make sense.
Domestic violence is basic. You tried to sexually harass your son?
It was a crime worthy of death.
[“No. Haa… I asked a lawyer I know, but the case is a bit old, and it’s difficult to punish because there is no clear evidence. The only thing I can do is to approach it if there is clear evidence and testimony of the sudden intrusion and abuse a few days ago. Banned?”]
“Does that make sense? You know there’s a problem if you get banned in the first place.”
[“The law says so, but what can I do? They say it’s a family on paper, and it seems like it will take a few more months for stalking to be recognized as a felony.”]
Instead of getting better, the situation seemed to get worse. The law seems to exist to protect the weak, but it doesn’t tell us who the weak is.
“Okay… First of all, I’ll be taking care of the boss, so find a way quickly.”
[“You… You know if I touch you, right? I’ll kill you like that bitch.”]
A cold voice came through the phone.
The sudden change in voice gave me goosebumps, but I sighed and looked at Jaejun. No matter how sex-crazed she is, she will never forcefully pounce on a poor person.
No, what do you get by doing that?
“I won’t touch you. You don’t have a taste for bullying difficult people, do you?”
The guy he likes makes fun of him with a bright face and makes him want to hit him on the head.
Her desire to protect Jaejoon, who was weak now, was greater.
After talking on the phone, I lay down next to him on the bed and hugged him slowly. His chest warms as his small frame is embraced.
“Ummm… Koiiin.”
“Coin? You said you wanted to die with a coin the other day, but are you still confused?”
Seeing how strong his desire for coins was, seeing him mumble even while sleeping, it was almost obsession.
As I was messing around with my messy hair, I slowly put my hand where my stomach was and hugged him as it was. Closer. Warmer.
It fit just right, as if it were a single product from the beginning.
I just want to stay like this.
“Nero… You can’t lick it.”
“Does Nero appear in your dreams too?”
At first, I tried to fall asleep after watching a little bit, but from a certain point on, I just watched. Have you ever heard that all defenses break down when people sleep?
There were many cases where he would just fall asleep and tell his true story.
“Jaejoon.”
“To…?”
“I can hear?”
“…”
Perhaps it was responding to my voice, seeing the slight movement of her head whenever I spoke.
“I like you.”
Those were the last words he whispered before going to bed. I don’t know if you’ll hear it, but I just wanted to say it. Because I wanted to keep whispering these words since the last kiss.
She kissed his white forehead once and fell asleep hugging him.
***
Pure white space.
What is the pure white space made of? White clouds? Or a substance that cannot be proven by science?
I don’t know what it is, but this white space is my image space, so there will be no way to know for the rest of my life.
The reason I came to this space is…
“It’s you.”
“Huh.”
A person I saw not long after I came to this world. The original owner of this body, the biggest reason I came to this world, and the bastard who told me about the existence of an incredible gentleman in Korea.
Jaejun Shin.
It was my name, but it was also the name of the perpetrator, the culprit behind all the incidents.
The heart is beating. I used to run the same as usual, but now I was running like crazy. I wanted to run right now and slap my face, but I held back and looked at his face.
Seeing that he has short hair and is wearing a military uniform, he probably joined the army instead of me.
“How are you…”
“Don’t be silly.”
How are you?
When the person who put me in such a pit said that, the anger that bubbling inside began to boil.
There was no way I could say anything nice to this guy who took away the life I should have lived and took away my friends and parents.
The last time we met, I was embarrassed and cringed because I wanted to go back, but now I have the confidence to swear properly without it.
Anyway, this bastard doesn’t have the heart to return my body and doesn’t know how to get it back.
“Looking at your clothes, you must have gone to the army? Did you come to your senses because you were beaten up there?”
“…”
I heard that even people who are not in their right mind will come to their senses if they go to something like the Marine Corps and get beaten up by the sergeant.
Even if it’s improved a lot these days, in a place where people gather, there will inevitably be people who get hurt.
In the first place, I did not believe that the child who lived like a woman in this world would go to the other world and adapt properly. I couldn’t even adapt to the army? It was clear that he would have been branded as a low class, let alone a soldier.
“And why do I have to suffer because of you? From that fucking memory to the motherhood, why are you so damned that you can’t leave me alone?!”
“Mom…? Could it be that she went to you?”
“Huh? Of course she came. Now that’s why we even evacuated.”
Seeing her clenching her hand and biting her lip, I think I roughly figured out what the situation was like. Why do I have to experience this? Why?
Even though the size is different now, I had a strong desire to run right away and grab the collar and squeeze it.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, give me back my body. Please.”
I want to go back. No matter how many people next to me help me, I missed my friends and my parents.
Does he know that if you suddenly break up after living well, it will be that much sadder and more painful? How hard it was to try to see myself one more time even in my dreams. And how do you feel when you are separated from your family?
Does he know that kind of heart?
“I’m sorry…But I don’t know.”
“Then tell me this is the location of the shrine you talked about last time. Even if it breaks down, won’t the remnants remain?”
He grabbed me by the collar to say something, so he couldn’t say anything. After a while, he whispered to me with trembling lips.
“Poem, a gentleman…Was a lie.”
Yeah… It’s strange that there are shrines in Korea.
“What? Then what happened? Why did I change with you!”
“Sorry.”
“Tell me!!!!!”
I want to go back. Madly.
