Chapter 140 – A Very Special Glass for the Udder Winner (4)
Among the swear words of modern people, there is one that says, “Fuck your dick.”
If this word is interpreted literally, it can be interpreted in two ways.
One.
-Private. Take off your pants and panties.
-What are you doing?
-Baby… Erection!
Literally exposing your dick outside.
Two.
-Brother. I am really grateful to my parents.
-What are you talking about again?
-Because I wasn’t circumcised, the taste of peeling a dick is excellent.
When asked to peel a dick.
It hasn’t happened recently, but my friends who are similar to me haven’t.
People who are a little older than me say that when they were young, they went to eat pork cutlet while holding their mother’s hand and were ‘broken.’
A whale was caught.
The epidermis that should cover the glans was removed.
-So what are you doing now? At the movie theater.
-Eating sausage. Anyway, it’s just us. If a couple came to the movie theater at 10 a.M. On a weekday morning, people outside would say, ‘Oh, that’s right,’ right?
-Wouldn’t it be reported as a public indecency crime?
-So, just handle it quickly and quietly. Why did I deliberately order grilled squid in butter?
-You all have plans.
-Then. Oppa, just…Fuck it.
-You should criticize.
-Heung, that will do.
There was a time like that.
The dictionary meaning of the word ‘fuck your ass’ is the same, but when you actually use it, the feeling is different.
I’m not telling you to take off your pants.
-Brother. Should we keep it like this?
-Shut up and don’t say nonsense.
-Unfortunate…
Fuck you.
It means not to talk nonsense.
And the last thing I want to say to this man, Irsenti.
“Get out of my territory and don’t talk nonsense.”
Irsenti’s face turned red in an instant.
“This, this…!”
“Do you dare try to threaten someone from Permaten, even if you are arrogant? Do you think you can do anything?”
I stood proudly in front of Irsenti.
“You’re fussing over the fact that all you have is your status as a nobleman.”
“W-what…!!”
“Or is it so small that it’s hard to find the dick? It’s not like there’s no dick. Please correct me. I apologize.”
I raised my hands and folded them as if praying.
Instead, I opened the space so that my hands could not touch by about 1cm.
“It’s hard to be picky about something smaller than me.”
“You, you… !”
Men.
Everyone lives with pride in their body.
Even if the skin color is different.
Even if you are short.
Even if your face is below average.
Every man lives with pride in his dick
-I’m shorter than that guy, my body is uglier, and I’m a bit uglier, but the pepper is still bigger!
-So please, that bastard’s penis is 3cm…!
They don’t call a tall, well-built, and handsome man ‘Jekkosam’ for nothing.
“Why? What are you complaining about?”
“…”
“I’m sure you’ll be dissatisfied. But what’s wrong with that? Wasn’t it too aristocratic of a remark? Then, will you correct it?”
I greeted Irsenti with the manners I had learned from books.
“I express my deepest condolences to the person who will become your wife.”
“Why are you insulting me so much!”
“Because it’s boring and shitty.”
Irsenti’s eyes widened.
He shook his hands and bit his lower lip, as if he had never heard such an insult in his life.
“How can you be such a bitch? If you lose the competition, you should just admit it and leave.”
“This, this…”
“If you’ve talked this much, you should understand. How long are you going to keep saying the same thing over and over again?”
I pointed at Irsenti.
“It’s shitty to throw a tantrum at someone else’s competition, it’s shitty to bring a piece of jewelry as a bribe and say it’s sincerity, and it’s also shitty to bring your own sister to protest, so get the hell out of there.”〈 Br〉
“This, this…!”
“I don’t think that’s possible. Shall I take you there myself?”
In times like these, there is the best person.
“Lord Lambert!!”
“Did you call me?”
Lambert, who had been waiting outside, came inside.
He was already looking at the pretty-looking Irsenti, and I pointed out Irsenti to him.
“Viscount Irsenti says she will return to her domain. Please take her politely ‘outside the castle’.”
“I will take you there myself.”‘
“That’s right.”
“Luge Permaton!!”
“What the hell are you screaming at, this bastard–!!”
Irsenti called my name loudly, so I strained my stomach and screamed.
“Huh…”
“Does Fermaton look like a dick?! I’m going to search for it. Huh.”
Irsenti immediately froze with his mouth open, and I adjusted my collar and unbuttoned my shirt.
“Who taught you the etiquette of yelling in someone else’s house? Huh?”
“…You will regret it.”
“Regrets? No. I don’t regret it.”
Because there is absolutely no reason to regret.
“Where can I give a damn when Sirzosiya does not represent the entire kingdom and is merely a forward base for the kingdom’s intelligence department?”
“…!!”
The expressions of the two siblings, Irsenti, Irmeter, and Sirzosiya, changed in an instant.
“Why? You thought I wouldn’t know?”
Through secret materials left behind by the former lord.
Through the Thieves Guild of Jurdias.
And through the Adventurer’s Guild, Magic Tower, Countess Zenith, etc.
“I too am a person with eyes and ears. I don’t just live a life where my eyes are buried in a woman’s breast every day and my ears are caressed with my tongue.”
Based on the settings and background knowledge in my short original game, and the knowledge trained through jokes.
I am getting to know the information about this world properly.
“You guys seem to have some kind of misunderstanding, but I am the man who will succeed Fermatn. Of course, not only do I have the abilities of Count Fermatn, but in the future, I will be able to create a Fermatn that is stronger than previous Fermatons. So…”
I hold the sword.
“Whether it’s the branch chief of the Kingdom’s Intelligence Department or anything else, it’s not a fucking thing to change a viscount. Do you understand?”
“…Does Sirzosiya look funny?”
“Uh.”
How come the family name is Sirjosi?
“I don’t know what path Sir Josiah has taken so far, but it’s funny to see him come to the protest to at least change his runner-up finish into a winner.”
Realistically speaking, it would be the same name as soccer player Zola Shibasaki, but to me it sounds completely different.
“Luge Permaten. You have now turned me and Sirzosiya into enemies. Do you know?”
“What is wrong with turning an enemy against someone who came to be an enemy?”
Irsenti continued fiddling with the white gloves.
The moment you throw that at me, a ‘territory war’ officially breaks out.
Or use a knight to fight a duel.
“…Little Lord Permaten.”
Irmeter, who had been quiet until now, stood up.
Just getting up made his heart flutter, so I couldn’t help but look over.
“I’d like to ask just one question.”
“What is it?”
“Do I…Don’t look like a woman to Little Lord Permaten?”
Ah.
Rouge Permaten.
Don’t be weakened by women’s tears.
“…It’s not that you don’t look like a woman, it’s just that you’re not suitable to be the winner of this competition.”
“Ha. See how his voice changes when he talks to me and when he talks to my sister…?”
“Of course there’s a difference between talking to an asshole and chatting with a beautiful lady.”
Everyone will admit it.
“You have enough charm as a woman. I’m sure you can be a good wife and a good mother. But.”
I pointed below me.
“To give me an erection, it’s worse than the woman who was the winner.”
“What are you lacking? Me!”
“It’s not that you are lacking. Your breasts are definitely fucked.”
“W-what… “
“It sucked. When I first saw it.”
Just.
“The winner’s breasts were just more perky.”
“…”
“That’s the difference.”
Difference in relative inferiority.
It is ultimately a matter of subjectivity.
That was the difference between the winner and the runner-up.
“When you have finished what you have to say, go back. Viscount Irsenti’s rudeness today will be forgiven for your sake.”
“W-what! Do you know who has committed more rudeness now!”
“Look at this. I’m screaming in someone else’s territory again.”
How to do it.
I feel like I want to beat him up with my fist, but if I do that, I may be the one to use violence first, which could be used against me in the future.
Even if it is a two-way assault, it depends on who struck first.
‘I can’t help it.’
I have no choice but to shake my mentality.
I need to show the difference in power, or rather, the difference in dick.
“Do you know what time it is? It’s the time when I’m in the lord’s castle office handling territory affairs. Is your time overflowing? You’re paralyzing the count’s work.”
“…”
“We were in the middle of discussing the development of a ‘new product’, so I can’t believe you wasted time like this.”
A signal was sent.
The door behind it opened, and Laura, a black bunny girl, came into the living room carrying a tray.
“…Huh?!”
As soon as Irsenti saw the tray, he was scared and took a step back.
As she sank ungainly on the sofa and closed her legs, her younger sister, Irmeter, covered her face with her hands when she saw the items placed on the tray.
“Do you know what this is? It’s a trophy for the winner.”
“Well, that’s…!”
“Yes. It’s a cock.”
Her fingers are spread out.
“A very special gift for the winner. Now that I’m wet, shouldn’t I get wet too?”
After placing the tray on the table, Laura carefully picked up a glass shaped like someone’s dick.
The characteristic of a glass is that although it looks like a dick on the outside, there is something else inside.
A white, hard solid.
It looked like something had been frozen, and there was a long stick-like wooden stick stuck in the middle.
“Well, that couldn’t be…?”
“Dessert. Ice cream. Irsenti Sirzosiya introduces a new business of ours that has never been tried before. Laura. Pick it.”
“Yes, Lord So.”
Laura grasped the bottom of the glass with her hand, then grabbed the wooden bar of the glass and gently lifted it.
“I need to decide on a name for this, but I couldn’t even decide on a name because you attacked me.”
“This, this crazy…”
“Why? They make a glass out of a woman’s breast and fill it with milk to drink, but there’s no law against eating ice cream made from frozen milk. “Laura.”
“Yes.”
Laura put her glass down and grabbed the wooden stick with one hand.
“Suck it.”
“…I will eat well.”
Grandpa.
Laura tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and lightly licked the ice cream with her tongue.
