Chapter 75 – Episode 75 – I Have to Teach My Family After Meeting Them for the First Time in Many Years.
* I have to teach my family members whom I haven’t seen in years
Gara’s family finally reconciles… I couldn’t do it.
Naturally, Gara’s family was in shambles as her daughters declared that their father was a predator, and her wife also had a monkey’s tail pierced into her anus, and all three of them were pierced. The mother and daughter, who should get along better than anyone else, often growl at each other, and the daughters, who should respect their father, look at him as a sexual object, so much so that his mother’s lungs collapse. One night, while trying to serve, there was a time when we grabbed each other’s hair and fought, so the fact that we were still able to maintain our family structure at this point was nothing short of a miracle.
This atmosphere is the same today.
All three are cutting in the kitchen without any sense of shame, wearing naked aprons and shaking their slightly red buttocks with monkey tails. The sound of a cutting board shaking in a steady rhythm is pleasant to hear, but the war of nerves taking place inside the kitchen is anything but exciting.
“Ugh~! Really~!”
“Ugh~!”
“Neuuuuu~!”
“Heungheung~!”
“Really~!”
Hehe~!”
Ppoyong pppoyong~♡ Bpoyong pppoyong~♡
Lumiere, who occupied the center of the kitchen, shook her butt. Since he has been doing housework so far, he is good at cutting knives, and I don’t think shaking his butt will cause any problems. Rather, what was causing trouble was the duo of Remy and Rami, who were clinging to Lumiere’s sides and hitting her with their buttocks.
“Nggyahaaa~! Mama! Go over there~! I’m in the way because of your needlessly big butt!”
“That’s right! We’re using this place! Mama needs to stay~!”
“Hmm~?! You guys, don’t be a nuisance! The kitchen is my domain as a mother! What are kids who don’t know how to boil noodles doing when I’m busy eating out but interfering with them?”
“It’s not like that~! If we want to, we can do it~?!”
“I started learning recently~!”
“That’s right, it’s a hastily made skill! What do you people know who don’t even know the taste of home~!”
“”What~?!””
“What should I do if I get angry? I can’t even sharpen my knife properly, so I’m making a mess of it! Look at this! This! It’s a waste of all the ingredients!”
“Naaaaa?!”
“Cut it all down?!”
Uneuneunneu~!
Even though it is a kitchen, the sight of her holding a knife and glaring at her is truly hideous. Thanks to this, Gara, who is watching from afar, becomes nervous. I couldn’t take my eyes off the kitchen, fearing that there might be a stabbing incident, but fortunately, the two daughters, Remi and Rami, did not stab their mother Lumiere, but instead glared at each other and went back to their seats to prepare the food. 〈 Br〉
‘I’m glad the kitchen is spacious. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have ended in a stabbing attack.’
Although we can’t say this is fortunate based on common sense, it is true that all three of us focused on cooking. Since there is someone you are treating, you probably don’t want to do something that would make you look bad. As a result, the tragedy that occurred was directed solely at Gara, but the three people who actually served the food were smiling.
“…?”
There were three people who cooked.
There are three main ones.
There is only one person to eat.
‘You want me to eat all of this by myself?’
When I looked up in a daze, they also sat down, but no matter how I looked at it, it wasn’t enough for the four of them to handle everything. Even though his daughter didn’t know, Gara knew best what Lumie was saying, and in fact, their rice bowls were infinitely small, and Gara had several brass bowls that were suitable for his size.
“Honey, please eat from this side.”
“Let’s start with Remi’s cooking! It will lose its taste when it cools, so eat it quickly!”
“Rami worked hard too!”
Empty! Empty! Empty!
Meat, meat, meat──
He eats a lot for his size, and he likes meat, but it’s still too much.
‘Keueuhn… ‘
A glance.
I slightly looked away and thought maybe someone would see me, but behind the smiling faces of all three, evil spirits appeared. To put it simply, it feels like “If you don’t tell me it’s better than that bitch, I’ll kill you☆.” Thanks to this, Gara had to unfasten the front of her clothes, loosen her pants slightly, expose her stomach, and open her mouth.
“””Uhuhu~♡”””
‘This is torture. When I was still poor, I once wondered why there was such a thing as torture, but this time I learned better.’
In the days when eating anything was good, I actually thought of it as a reward, so eating this much was definitely too much at this age. Plus, bitches like jailers from hell are watching, smiling. They also ate a small meal, but compared to what Gara ate, it was a very small amount, and by the time they finished the three bowls, Gara’s stomach was sticking out like someone who had swallowed a whole pig, and the corners of her mouth were also swollen.
“Kkeupu… I ate well.”
Nevertheless, Gara’s heart was clearly revealed as she expressed her gratitude with both hands together.
“Oh my… It was a lot, but she ate it well. If she had a hard time eating, her daughters could have had a little less.”
“That’s what we’re going to do. We eat mama’s dishes every day, so it’s okay to throw away a little bit.”
“That’s right! To put it nicely, it’s a taste of home, but to put it another way, it’s a taste that you get tired of eating every day!”
“What are these kids talking about who can’t even make that boring taste?”
“It’s fun~!”
“Heungheung~!”
Even in the midst of this, Gara is heartbroken because they don’t stop fighting with each other. When she finally returned from the battlefield, her family was in chaos. Lumie grinned, and a chill came out as I was sighing and being trapped in a harem that no normal person would welcome.
“… What is it?”
“No~? Since the meal is over, I thought I’d like some dessert.”
“…”
“You don’t like what I made?”
“… No.”
“Then eat it.”
“…”
That being said, the part where I pushed myself even though I clearly knew I couldn’t refuse was really dark. As I get older, I can say that I am more experienced. I know Gara’s painful areas well.
“Ugh… Oh… Ooh… Kkfufuuu~!”
In the end, when she put it in her mouth, Nigara inflated her muscles like a balloon and waddled away. She had to get away from the little devil mother and daughter while the three of them were washing dishes together (?). In the meantime, the warehouse I visited was not a place that women frequented as it was full of Gara’s gear. She held her swollen belly with both hands and quietly exhaled, waiting for her stomach to go down. Then, her dissatisfaction with the current situation poured out.
‘I don’t know how this happened. It’s about her daughter. It’s my fault, but even though I sorted things out, it ended up in this situation. I don’t know if this happened as a result of not giving him affection, or if there were other factors, but I don’t want three people fighting like that.’
Phew…
So what should I do…
Gara, engulfed in such worries, waddled over to her and looked through her gear. There were various items piled up, including all the miscellaneous items brought from the Demon King’s Castle and the rewards received from the king, but there was one item that caught Gara’s eyes as if it was pulling at his disturbed mind.
─It is a mirror.
The full-length mirror, made up of ornate gold decorations, had a slightly ominous aura emanating from it. It wasn’t something that anyone other than Gara’s level of skill would notice, but it wasn’t an ordinary item.
‘Sir Mirror. Come to think of it, I haven’t called you since the Battle of the Four Heavenly Kings.’
She stretched out her hand, saying that she was free and needed someone to rely on right now. The faint power that flowed from Gara’s fingertips fell into the mirror, and the inside that reflected Gara swirled like a whirlpool, and soon a white woman’s face was revealed instead.
『──Umm! Hmm? Who is it that woke me up?』
“Lord Mirror. It’s been a while.”
『This blunt voice… Oh, go! How many years has it been since this?』
The woman’s face, not even her hair, just her face, a slightly saucy-looking woman, moved arbitrarily inside the mirror and smiled at Gara. Her high-slung face made her look like the queen of her country, but Gara greeted her happily without any fear.
“It must have been a year and a half since the Battle of the Four Heavenly Kings.”
『Has so much time already passed…? Surely you captured one of the Four Heavenly Kings, a strong demon, and set me free. Thanks to you, I have been able to sleep comfortably for the past year and a half. The reason you had to wake me up like that is because the time has come when you need the knowledge of this winter scene, right?』
“That’s true…”
Gara laughs awkwardly. Just as Tei obtained an item with clairvoyant abilities by capturing one of the Four Heavenly Kings, Gara also possessed such an item. It is much louder and more talkative than Tei’s clairvoyance ability, but that is why it has the ability needed now.
『What on earth is going on? The devil is dead, and the world will be at peace. Did the empire move as I expected?』
“That’s not the case. There is some commotion abroad, but so far there are no problems.”
“Huh? Then, another event I predicted! So, the remnants of the Demon King’s army have started to move?!』
“That’s not true either. It’s a possible incident, but no major incident has occurred yet.”
“Yep? Go ahead. I don’t think you’ve summoned me for personal reasons… 』
“I’m sorry. It’s personal business.”
『This is so amazing! That’s personal business for me! If this were the Four Heavenly Kings, I would have been offended by having to take care of them again, but you are my benefactor! I’m rather happy! So, what kind of knowledge did you wake me up for?!』
He rolls his eyes and turns to face Gara, telling her to hurry up and say something. Even so, since you can’t get out of the mirror, your face is only enlarged, but that alone is burdensome enough. Although she appears to be beautiful and arrogant, her behavior towards Gara is no different from that of a dog with a tail.
“Lord Mirror. I would like to ask you, the so-called fountain of knowledge, about a certain musical phrase.”
『Ugh! I don’t think it’s something that suits the blunt person you are… So, did someone you know suffer?』
“My family has suffered, so I want to know how to fix it.”
“Right… I know you won’t misuse my knowledge. Then, let me answer the question for you, my close friend. What kind of pitch knowledge do you want?』
“It’s an item called a monkey’s tail. Not one, but three were found and ended up being worn by my two favorite daughters and my wife.”
『A monkey’s tail… Besides, to my family… That’s really unpleasant… 』
“Do you know?”
『I am Sir Mirror! There is no gap in knowledge related to the Demon Lord’s army! I clearly remember it as an item made by the Demon King during his lifetime to toy with Hero and his party, but I believe it was an item that ended up on the market because there was no time to use it!』
If he had a torso, he would have opened his chest and recited the story about the monkey’s tail.
『The sound hole is a type that maintains its effect by sucking up the wearer’s excrement and some vitality. Although it is not life-threatening, it is designed not to fall off unless special procedures are followed from the moment it is installed. If you try to force it out using physical force, the parasite attached to the anus will tear the intestines with poison, and if you try to use magic, it will rebel and spit out the same poison. Because it is a parasitic type of fish that lives on excrement and vital energy, poison is accumulating all the time. If you leave it as is and the poison exceeds a certain level, it may die.』
“… Die?”
『Well, if you let your guard down, you’ll be in trouble. Originally, this was something I would use for you guys. For the Hero and his party, it is nothing more than an item that causes indecency, but for ordinary people, it is nothing more than a tool of execution.』
“…”
At those words, Gara’s face became unusual. Until recently, she was filming a rather funny romantic comedy, but it quickly turned into a horror film.
“What should I do? How can I get rid of it? What about poison? How can I save my family?”
『Don’t ask questions like that! Fortunately, the poison can be removed, so you can rest assured!』
“… What does that mean?”
『The monkey’s tail, as its name suggests, is so sensitive that it makes the wearer’s buttocks look like hundreds of years old! As I said just now, it was originally an item that would have been equipped on you and caused you to behave indecently!』
“I know that. So, there is a way to do it—”
『──Listen to the story until the end! It’s designed in a way that the more you hit your butt and climax, the more it spits out poison in response! To be more specific, equip it to a hero or Raina and say, ‘If you want to live, masturbate your ass!’ They would have tried to do the same thing! The Hero and Reina were particularly beautiful… Ah, I guess it was nice to see that blond boy… ! Go ahead, it’s a bit weird to see you masturbating your ass, but that would have been perfect as a threat! Umm… Those demon lords… Now that I say this, I see that I’ve made a terrifying item… !!』
“I didn’t want to hear that kind of review.”
It was sincere.
I don’t want to have any reason to be delusional about such a ‘possible ending’.
『So, this is an important way to solve it. All you have to do is find a priest around the same age as the blond boy who has been following you around and ask him to cast a purification spell.』
“You need someone with that level of skill?”
“Yes. A mediocre purification spell will not purify all the parasitic poison and will kill the wearer, so you must be skilled enough to purify the poison and eradicate the parasite. Anyone can use a purification magic that strong, but if you do it half-heartedly, you’ll end up in big trouble, so it’s better not to attempt it in vain. The parasite will spray strong poison before it dies.』
“Isn’t there a way to purify the poison after killing the parasite?”
『Poison is being sprayed inside the intestines? You know that if you drink alcohol through your anus, you will die, right? It’s similar to that.』
-If you don’t decipher it right away, you die instantly.
Lord Mirror threatened Gara like that and comforted her.
『Luckily, if you don’t try to force it out, it’s a safe sound hole. If you make it climax before the poison builds up in its tail, it will be safe to live in that state for the rest of its life. Rather, it can be beneficial in that you do not have to excrete anything.』
“What’s the benefit… That’s nonsense…”
『It is said that it is better to release poison by hitting someone of the opposite sex rather than by masturbation. Even though it’s just a family affair, there would be less shame if it were treated as a medical procedure. Go, you’re probably not the kind of person who thinks strange things about your daughters, and it’s even more so if your wife suffered as well. If you just do what you normally do for the sake of your family, you won’t lose your life.』
“…”
I had strange thoughts about my daughters—I felt pricked at my conscience, but I couldn’t open my mouth.
“Any other tips…?”
『Your palm is a weapon that can kill people, so if you are going to hit someone’s butt directly, I recommend using a tool to distribute the damage as little as possible. Wouldn’t it be better to hit it with a blunt object so as not to leave any scars?』
“Is it okay to use something like a club… Or a spatula…?”
『A whip is also good.』
“… Whip.”
While Gara’s head was getting more and more painful, a wedge was driven in here.
『Poison five times a day… Everything must be removed within at least four days. Do not pile it up for more than a week. I will never die.』
“… A week?”
『Why do you do that?』
“No, it’s already been five days today… That means…”
『It might be dangerous… In some cases, it may have already accumulated to the end, so it would be better to do something quickly.』
“Ah, ah… Thank you so much… Really… What would have happened if I hadn’t heard this story here…”
『What~! Isn’t this what it means to be a good friend? Then I’ll go back to sleep and wake you only when necessary. I don’t really like waking up from sleep in a row, so just be careful about that, and I’ll be happy to oblige.』
“I understand… Lord Mirror. Please have a good dream.”
『I hope you have good dreams too! Haha,~!』
With those words, the mirror returned to being an ordinary object. Gara’s gloomy expression was visible through her mirror and she stamped her feet, wondering what to do about it. In the midst of all this, the sound of people searching for their missing father could be heard all the way to the warehouse.
‘There is no time… I guess I’ll have to beat that ass right away to get the poison out… I don’t want to, but this is a medical procedure… ‘
Ironically, he was put in a position where he had to train the buttocks of his two daughters and wife with his own hands.
