Chapter 534 – #112_Trial(3)
#534
1.
It was a pleasant dinner time.
Siwoo piled food onto his plate.
“Thank you for providing us with our daily bread.”
“Yes.”
Ruelle was acting strange.
Of course, Ruelle had always been eccentric, so it might not seem particularly strange, but…
She was definitely acting strange.
Siwoo, who had been busy organizing the insights he gained from today’s duel, quickly noticed the change.
Ever since finishing the trial, she had been lost in thought, or perhaps in anguish, with her eyes closed and her fingers circling her temples.
When Ruelle, who usually had a voracious appetite, started picking at her king prawn, Siwoo couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer and asked.
“Your Majesty.”
“What is it?”
“Is something the matter?”
Ruelle, who had been lost in her own thoughts, looked up at Siwoo with her blue eyes, revealing a complex and unreadable gaze.
“Nothing.”
“I see. I apologize for asking.”
“……”
If she wanted to say something, she would, and if not, she wouldn’t.
In truth, Siwoo was eager to finish his meal quickly and get back to his magical research.
However, breaking the silence, Ruelle suddenly asked a question.
Her gaze fixed on her plate, she barely moved her lips as she spoke.
“Are you not afraid of fighting?”
“Fighting?”
“Didn’t you do the trial five times today? Did you see any chance of winning?”
“No. I was completely crushed all five times. They were much more formidable than I expected, which surprised me.”
He gave a wry smile, but Ruelle was already looking at him with a serious gaze.
“Yet, why did you keep challenging it?”
He didn’t understand the meaning of the question, but it was a serious atmosphere he had never seen before.
Should he try a little flattery here?
He used the sweet talk he had naturally acquired during his time as a slave.
“Your Majesty has also continued the trial without giving up. I wanted to emulate Your Majesty’s example.”
And at that moment, Ruelle’s expression twisted.
Even though she was trying her best to maintain her composure to uphold her dignity, she couldn’t seem to recover.
Siwoo saw it clearly.
Ruelle’s intense emotions were immediately apparent, and Siwoo recognized the passion emanating from her.
Shame.
Embarrassment.
Ruelle slammed her fists on the table and shouted.
“Shut up! What do you know to spout such nonsense?”
She hadn’t even gotten this angry when she killed Foreign Minister Lakenlaken.
He didn’t know what was going on, but he seemed to have touched a very sensitive nerve.
“I apologize.”
Siwoo immediately bowed his head and apologized.
In fact, she had almost no magic power right now.
Having just finished the trial, it would be at 10% or less, and Siwoo could still recover his magic power through several more amplifications.
However, it would be foolish to attempt a rebellion.
Didn’t she still have three additional familiars?
If there were three kraken-like creatures, it would be difficult for Siwoo to see a chance of winning even if he were at full strength.
Also, even if that weren’t the case, he didn’t want to betray her when they were building a good relationship of trust.
“……”
Ruelle bit her trembling lip, put down her knife and fork, and quickly disappeared.
“This is bad…”
He didn’t know what was going on, but it seemed like he had really earned her hatred this time.
2.
Ruelle was angry.
This was the third time she had been angry because of him.
The first time, she responded with force, and the second time, she generously overlooked his flattery as she tried to calm her anger.
But this time, her anger wouldn’t subside.
This time, the target of her anger wasn’t Shin Siwoo, but Ruelle herself.
Shin Siwoo, who had been startled awake in front of the Cradle of Dreams.
Judging by his reaction, it was clear that he had died inside.
When she first saw that, Ruelle secretly thought it was only natural.
Just as you can lift slightly heavier weights than yesterday if you exercise repeatedly.
Just as you can sing slightly higher notes more stably than yesterday if you keep singing.
‘Transcending one’s limits’ is not a difficult task.
Anyone can do it with a little effort and consistency.
However, the ‘self’ you face in the Cradle of Dreams is different.
The doppelganger that has unlocked all its potential becomes a high wall that you don’t even dare to think of climbing.
It’s enough to break anyone’s will.
But he immediately recovered his magic power and challenged the trial again and again.
He would wake up, think for a moment, and then go back in.
He would fail and wake up, and as soon as he recovered, he would go back in again.
He looked like a challenger endlessly re-challenging a difficult boss in a video game.
Just like Ruelle used to be.
Ruelle, who read the traces of her past in his back as he focused with a sincere gaze, not with clumsy bravado or for show, felt her face flush.
A burning shame, like stomach acid reflux, spread through her chest, and she was busy trying to hide it.
“……”
That was because Ruelle wasn’t focusing on the trial at all.
The first year after her succession wasn’t like this.
Like Siwoo today, Ruelle had enthusiastically engaged in the trial, and even set up a task force within the ship to hold heated tactical meetings and discussions.
But…
Not anymore.
No matter how hard she tried, the gap wouldn’t close.
The terrible pain that wouldn’t go away even if she screamed, and the terrible wall that she couldn’t overcome even if she struggled with all her might, had taken away Ruelle’s will.
Now, when she entered the trial, she immediately ran towards the edge.
She would run away pathetically, fleeing from the terrifying ‘Ruelle’ chasing her from behind, and then wake up.
And then she would be busy rationalizing that ‘she wasn’t ready yet.’
Not only that, but she would mutter to herself, ‘It’s not a retreat, but a step back for perfect preparation.’
And to top it off, she would visit the trial once a month, telling herself lies like, ‘I haven’t abandoned my duty,’ and ‘I’m working hard.’
She had been doing that until she no longer felt self-loathing.
“The truth is… I’m not doing anything anymore…”
Surprisingly, humans are incredibly good at self-rationalization.
But today, seeing his actions, Ruelle felt the flimsy deception that had been covering her being stripped away.
It was a hundred times more shameful than having her clothes torn off.
Ruelle curled up like a pill bug on the sofa in the movie theater.
Why did her master leave behind such a harsh trial?
Even though she knew it was natural for her master, who had been persecuted by Keter, lived in hiding, and had enemies everywhere, Ruelle muttered meaninglessly.
Just when she felt like she was about to cry.
“Your Majesty.”
When she heard Siwoo’s voice, Ruelle quickly swallowed her tears and jumped up as if nothing had happened.
No matter what, she couldn’t show such an unsightly appearance to a mere slave.
“It is still working hours. Who gave you permission to come here?”
Ruelle put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest, but Siwoo immediately noticed that she wasn’t her usual self.
Anyone could tell by her red eyes and her cheeks, which looked like they would burst into tears if you poked them.
“I came to apologize in case I said something wrong. I am sorry.”
“There is nothing to apologize for. Return to your duties.”
“But still…”
Reason told him that it would be better to leave Ruelle alone, as she was very proud.
At least, he wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire.
But he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
She looked so depressed, and he wanted to hear her out.
In a submarine with only familiars, where else could she vent?
“I was worried.”
As soon as he said that, Ruelle sniffled as if she was surprised.
“Wo…worried? Worried about me? Why are you worried? I am Ruelle Nukelabi, the queen of the great Nukelabi Kingdom…”
Ruelle looked very flustered.
“Do you think I am so weak that I need your comfort?!!!”
She trailed off as if she wasn’t used to such treatment, then shouted again, striking her Ruelle stance.
By now, it should be obvious that the Ruelle stance is the pose she takes for about 50% of the day, with her hands on her hips and her chest puffed out.
“……”
Ruelle, who had been scolding him with her eyes closed, peeked at Siwoo with one eye.
Ruelle’s shoulders, which had been so high, slumped slightly.
After a great internal conflict, she finally chose to continue the conversation.
“Sit here.”
“Thank you.”
“I do not seek comfort. I am an iron-willed and perfect ruler. However, I will hear what worries you have.”
Ruelle sat down with her legs crossed and patted the spot next to her.
Watching Ruelle, who was asking for a consultation, though not really, Siwoo had to suppress a wry smile.
“And… I was not angry at you. There is no need to be anxious.”
“Yes, I will listen.”
He secretly thought that perhaps she needed more human interaction.
