Chapter 309 – Merry-Go-Round (3)
The day I passed the qualification exam with a B grade.
She didn’t show it, but she was overjoyed and her Kim Do-jin asked her.
What do you want to do with your wish?
In such Kim Do-jin’s appearance, Sohn Seo-yeon saw her father’s appearance.
Very young
The look of my father who said he would grant me a wish when I returned with 100 points in the exam.
Could her flashbacks through others have sent her back to her childhood?
“… I want to go to an amusement park.”
By the time she came to her senses, she had already spoken.
She might have been able to pick it up and contain it.
No, at least she could have wiped up the spill and pretended nothing had happened.
She didn’t
‘Why?’
If you ask her, she has nothing to say.
All she could say was that she was just being led in the direction her heart was headed at that moment.
Until she came here, she was endlessly troubled.
An amusement park with a man alone.
In a situation where everyone sees it as a date, she wonders if she can do well.
But that was too much of an overstatement.
‘It’s comfortable.’
It’s comfortable being with him.
Familiarity, as if she had known her for a long time, instantly melts away the worries that have been hanging around in her head when she is with others due to her inexperience in human relationships.
When the worry of blocking the source rather than getting closer disappeared, only Son Seo-yeon remained intact there.
“Try this this time.”
Sohn Seo-yeon, as she was, really enjoyed playing.
I enjoyed all the rides I had ridden in the past and had to turn around without being able to ride due to various restrictions.
And in the process, I also peeped Kim Do-jin’s deep humanity.
‘There must be something he can’t do either.’
He was weak on rides.
You can fly higher and faster than that if you want.
It was just as fun and good.
It was as if a small loophole had gently pulled him from floating in the sky and brought him closer.
‘Good night.’
Everything was good
Even now with him.
The past that comes to mind in it.
Then night came.
A night with a dreamy atmosphere, with purple light subtly covering the night sky.
Feeling as if she had entered the land of her dreams, she finally decided to wake up from the dream.
“Why don’t you ask?”
She urged him to ask.
The question she must have been curious about since she said let’s go to the amusement park.
Eventually, Kim Do-jin asked.
“Why did you want to come to the amusement park as a wish?”
To that question she answered.
“I want to recall old memories.”
Called.
Kim Do-jin immediately recognized her words.
There must be only one memory of her that she can recall after coming all the way here.
However, he didn’t show it and asked, tilting his head as if wondering.
“A long ago… , Remember?”
“Huh.”
Son Seo-yeon nodded with a smile trying to hide her awkward expression.
“I’ve only been here once before with my mom and dad.”
I can tell just by looking at his facial expression.
How happy and brilliant the memory of that time was for him.
The more I understood it, the more complex and difficult it became.
Why did my daughter, who enjoyed spending time with her family, change so much?
Kim Do-jin asked in a lighter tone by hiding and removing her complex state of mind.
“I think that time remains as a very good memory.”
Then she answered.
“That’s right.”
After answering that, she moved her steps, which had stopped abruptly, and came to the front of one of the rides.
“I want to ride this.”
What was placed at her fingertips was a Ferris wheel.
A perfect ride to look down on the whole view of the amusement park.
“… Is it so.”
Kim Do-jin followed her and quietly stood in the back row waiting for her turn.
The short line quickly ran out and it was the turn of the two who came.
Upon entering the slow-moving barrel, an attendant closes the door.
“…”
“…”
Conversation cut off for a moment.
Around the time when the scenery seen through the window of the Ferris wheel, which is gradually increasing in altitude, becomes beautiful.
“I haven’t talked to anyone about it until now.”
Son Seo-yeon, who had been quietly looking out the window, opened her mouth.
“I mean… , Hated being born as her daddy’s daughter.”
“… !”
A pain of a kind I had never felt before gripped my heart.
I knew.
Like my daughter doesn’t like her dad.
Didn’t she avoid eating even a single meal, using her diet as an excuse?
However, guessing alone and hearing a confident statement from an opponent are two different things.
Which father in the world can be calm after hearing the words ‘I didn’t want to be born as her daddy’s daughter’ to the daughter he raised, whether it’s gold or jade.
As he swallowed the pain inwardly, her words continued.
“It was good when I was younger. I was proud of my mom and dad, who recognized me everywhere I went, and I was happy when I heard that I had to become a great person like my dad.”
Okay.
It was.
In the old days, he said that he would go around saying, ‘My mom and dad are wonderful people!’.
Every time I do, I feel so ashamed that I am cluttered with sunglasses and artifacts that hinder my perception.
“However… , She realized that it wasn’t always happy.”
“… When?”
“Ever since I entered elementary school.”
I was puzzled.
Could something happen that would make me regret being born as Son Si-woo’s daughter in elementary school?
Then she asked, looking at Kim Do-jin with her eyes filled with sadness.
“If you are a teacher… , How will you praise the student you teach if he gets 100 points on the exam?”
Random question.
“Well… You just did well, you worked hard, I guess.”
“Yeah, it is.”
Normally, it would be.
Getting 100 points on the test means that you have prepared thoroughly, whether it’s preparation or review.
A commendation commensurate with the effort should follow.
“But I wasn’t.”
She wasn’t
“The first compliment I ever heard from a teacher was… , ‘As expected, Son Si-woo is Hunter’s daughter.'”
“…”
The first compliments she heard were focused more on her dad than on herself.
It seems like my efforts are not going well.
As if it was only natural for her to be born as Son Si-woo’s daughter.
But at the time, she was quite happy with it.
“I was happy at first. I thought I did well enough not to be ashamed of being my father’s daughter, and gave it a meaning in my own way.”
However, that feeling faded as I grew older.
“The grade goes up, I enter middle school… , Even if the environment changes and I grow up, the words of praise toward me have not changed at all.”
My friends and teachers say when I show sharp movements in PE class.
“As expected, you are Son Si-woo’s daughter.”
If you do well in the exam, another name follows.
“As expected, she is Han Joo-hee’s daughter.”
The more she did, the more tired she got.
“I didn’t have any help from my mom and dad on my exam…”
Son Seo-yeon smiled miserably.
The test was only her effort.
Practice, and review.
Mom and Dad didn’t.
She just did it because she wanted to.
She wants to work hard, and she wants to be recognized for her efforts.
I did.
“I’ve always been just a kid who got ahead with just a great body and brain that I inherited from my mom and her dad.”
Some even made fun of it.
Son Si-woo and Han Joo-hee said that it was natural for them to be born as daughters.
Her efforts were vehemently denied.
The more she did, the more feelings she couldn’t tell anyone.
“At some point, I found myself resenting my father.”
Feelings of resentment toward my parents.
“Why is my father Son Si-woo? How good would he have been if he had rather been a normal dad…”
So, little by little, she began to push her family away.
At the same time, she naturally cut down on conversations with her friends.
After all, all the people around me were moths that flew in, attracted by the halo of my mom and dad.
“I thought that was the way to protect me. Han Joo-hee and Son Si-woo’s daughter, not Son Seo-yeon, but the only way to remain as ‘Son Seo-yeon’.”
I thought that the touches and words from all over the place were eating away at my identity.
The time to be fully recognized as ‘me’ will come sooner if you get away from your parents as soon as possible.
I thought so at the time.
“But it wasn’t.”
The Magic Tower, led by her mother Han Joo-hee’s strong will.
In her eyes, she saw people who were desperately leading their lives.
This person is immersed in research day and night to earn research funds.
A person who earns money by entering dungeons during the day, and concentrates on research with a tired body at night.
Even those who fail to achieve their goals due to lack of talent and fall.
Seeing the setbacks and trials that never came to her, she realized.
“As much as compliments I hate to hear, I was born with many things, and that I have lived my life enjoying them.”
I lived without knowing it because I was thinking of a lot of things I didn’t like.
As much as the things that bother me, no, more than that are in my hands.
Some in the form of genes.
Others in material form.
And realizing that she had never pushed it off even once, she laughed hysterically.
“I was hoping that all the compliments would go towards me while enjoying everything I had to enjoy.”
I thought I was unhappy, and I pushed my family away on my own.
Belated reflection and regret.
Although she wanted to apologize to her mom and her dad and go back to normal.
“… It’s been so long that I forgot about it.”
What kind of expression did you make when you saw your mom and dad?
And how to talk and continue the conversation.
The problem was not only that.
While I was running away, the atmosphere flowing between my mom and dad changed.
Cool, cold air currents.
That icy vibe in her made her cringe even more.
And she has come to this moment with a shudder.
“So I wanted to come to the amusement park. I want to feel the emotions of the past, even just a little bit.”
That was all.
“Because I thought I could feel that way a little bit if I was with you.”
If he looks like my dad but is different, it seems possible.
That’s why I made a wish.
After finishing her story, she cautiously asked Kim Do-jin, who was listening silently.
“How is it… ?”
She didn’t even know.
What did you want to ask about?
I wonder if I wanted to ask about my impressions of the days of my life.
Or did I want to ask when my stuffy mind can be resolved?
Did he even want me to curse at my foolish thoughts and actions?
Kim Do-jin raised his head at the question, for which even the questioner could not clearly establish its meaning.
Staring at her with her two calmly sunken eyes, she opens her mouth.
“Is that all?”
“Uh… ?”
“The reason I moved away from my father… , I think there may be more that haven’t been said yet, isn’t it?”
“…”
At his sharp question, she shut her mouth with her hardened face.
