## Chapter 87 – Zombie Parade
An impromptu duel between me and the robber began. He seemed terrified of being surrounded by three people and couldn’t focus on me, constantly trying to turn his head. Claudie taunted him, promising to spare his life if he won.
He must have been seriously pissed about the sexual harassment.
Of course, I was also extremely pissed.
I was going to play around a bit and then give him three hits, but I should just finish him off.
We need to weed out the pests from this world.
“Huff, huff! Huff!”
Even a robber who kills people and steals their money still has some humanity left, it seems. He looked utterly human, exhaling rough breaths of fear. He seemed to be in a semi-panic state.
“Huff, huff!”
Is that Lamaze breathing?
Well, if he doesn’t focus on the duel, this hard-earned chance for real combat will be useless.
I needed to motivate him, so I baited him.
“…You’re resorting to robbery because you have nothing else to do? Huh?”
Until now, I had achieved victory using power derived from my trained physique rather than swordsmanship. I hadn’t had a proper opportunity to use real swordsmanship. Claudie creating this situation was the perfect chance.
“You piece of shit, not even worth a dog. This, damn it, you can’t blame you, you have to blame your mom for birthing you like that.”
I knew my skills had improved somewhat through practice with Karin, but I didn’t know how effective it would be against ordinary people. A highway robber would be a suitable opponent.
“…What did you say?”
The guy, who had been terrified, reacted as if he had regained his senses after I brought up his mother.
Yeah, that’s the attitude.
“If your mom had raised you properly, would you have become a robber? It’s all your mom’s fault for being a moron. Yeah, that’s right. What fault does the kid have? It’s all the parents’ fault for being messed up.”
His face instantly began to turn red.
Saliva flew from his mouth as he became enraged.
I grinned and continued.
“Ah, you…!”
“It’s punishable, punishable. We shouldn’t kill you, we should kill your mom. You agree, right? Where does your mom live? I’ll go kill her for you. Ah, is she already dead, perhaps?”
“You fucking bastard! Let’s die together!”
—Whoosh!
He roared, raised his sword high, and charged at me.
“Of all things to touch, you dare insult my mother!!!”
But his path was too obvious, and the trajectory of his sword, swung with all his might, was utterly predictable. Is this the difference in skill? It was so clear to me.
“You little shit. You’re very filial.”
There was no need to break his strike with a counter.
I immediately pushed my right foot forward, twisted my wrist, and thrust my sword upwards.
—Clang!
His blade, which had drawn a half-arc, collided with my blade and slid down the sword’s body with a metallic sound.
“What!”
The descending blade was naturally blocked by my cross-guard, and my thrust, not losing momentum, pierced the guy’s face. The match didn’t even last 10 seconds.
If he had even a little knowledge of swords, there would have been about two exchanges here, but he was a complete novice. You don’t just swing a sword wildly. You have to think and swing with murderous intent.
“Keuh, keuh…!”
The guy with the sword stuck in his face didn’t know what to do and dropped his sword. I put strength into the handle, pushed the sword in, and walked forward. He stumbled backward to match my speed and then fell over. That was the end.
“Keok, keo-keok!”
“Is this effective enough?”
It ended too quickly, so I’m not sure, but this seems like enough to show that I’ve learned swordsmanship. It was worth paying Karin 10 silver.
“No, it ended in one hit!”
“Katt! Finish him! Finish him!”
Copson was impressed, and Claudie exclaimed. Her expression as she cheered for the finish was so excited that you couldn’t possibly think she was ordering a murder.
I should take her to the arena sometime; she’d go crazy.
Maybe it’s because she believes in a strange god, but Claudie really liked this kind of thing.
“Die, Hakuron!”
—Swoosh!
I swung my sword down on the back of the convulsing robber’s neck. As the blade touched his neck bone, he twitched and then slumped down. That was his death.
“Ooh! Well done! Really well done!”
Claudie, overly pleased, jumped in and hugged me tightly, as if trying to bury me in her cleavage.
“Keuh!”
“Yes, yes! That was a truly excellent strike! A warrior must know how to be calm. To kill an enemy, you need to suppress your savagery. Seizing the opportunity for victory! That is ability and skill!”
“I, I can’t breathe!”
“I’m very happy. You have the qualities of a warrior. I saw it in you!”
“I feel like I’m going to faint!”
“Hey, you said you’d dedicate the victory to me, right? Can you say it again?”
Claudie said that and released her arms that had been restraining me. The pressure lessened, and I was able to pull my face out. I gasped for air.
“Puhah!”
But she wanted me to say it again? I asked, puzzled.
“Haa… Is it some kind of ritual?”
“Uh-huh, something like that. Just say it to me.”
“I dedicate this victory to you… Is that enough?”
“Yes!”
And Claudie hugged me tightly again. I almost suffocated from the continued pressure on my chest.
Judging from her attitude, I had a bizarre thought that she might be seeing me as something like a Pokémon, but since no one does that kind of thing with Pokémon, I pushed the thought aside.
Actually, dating an elf might fall into the category of interspecies romance.
“Barbarian! Enjoy that and let’s collect the spoils!”
Copson shouted.
That’s right.
Finally, the most enjoyable time had come.
Claudie’s chest was enjoyable too, but the farming time offered a different kind of joy.
When you kill something, it drops items. Monsters often drop useless junk, but it’s different with people.
People leave behind everything they have when they die. Money, weapons, clothes… everything they had at the moment of death.
“Sounds good!”
I, who had escaped from her chest, rushed out like a storm and grabbed the legs of the corpses, dragging them. There were a total of four corpses left in the area. I was very disappointed that two had escaped. Copson and I excitedly gathered the corpses side by side.
“Hehehe, let’s strip them one by one!”
Copson, grinning wickedly, began to undress the first corpse. I grabbed one and undressed it as well. We would take everything useful and discard the rest. In the case of clothes, there was so much blood on them that we had no choice but to throw them away, but weapons and wallets were exceptions.
“Talents! These guys even have talents!”
“Good heavens, is that true!”
As I rummaged through the corpse’s pockets, I found a whopping 17 talents! My eyes widened, and I even cut the clothes with a knife as I searched the body. These robber bastards were enjoying the festival too? I felt strangely happy and bizarre at the same time.
Killing people to steal talents and taking them to the church to enjoy the festival… It was such a gruesome act that even the most hardened psychopaths would shake their heads and run away.
The festival isn’t for guys like these.
I was once again convinced that I had done well to kill them all.
I probably did a good deed, so I won’t be going to hell.
[You did a great job.]
See, the Buddha in my head is praising me too.
“Barbarian! This guy even has 2 silver!”
“They’re all dead, damn it!”
Copson and I laughed like we had taken a dose of drugs and happily harvested the spoils.
They had so much. From cash to talents, various accessories, and even equipment. The thought that all of this was ours made me go crazy.
Claudie also grabbed a corpse, dragged it away, and pulled out items here and there. She was humming and seemed so happy.
Is this the joy of a honeymoon?
“I’m done!”
Finally, the farming was over. I took off my cloak and laid it on the ground. I spread all the spoils on top of it.
“Hehehe, collecting the spoils is the right of the victor.”
“That’s right, Claudie. Hehehe, I’m very satisfied.”
“Just looking at it makes me full.”
When I counted everything we had collected, there were 5 silver and 42 coppers in cash, three one-handed swords, one hand axe, and a whopping 67 talents. Adding in four pairs of shoes, three rings, and a necklace, an indescribable joy rushed in.
It was a huge jackpot.
Killing people is more profitable than killing monsters.
Being able to get such a large sum of money so easily, I can understand why people fall into evil ways (邪魔外道) and switch their profession to murderous robbers. If you attack a traveler in the mountains and keep your mouth shut, no one will know. However, you need to have the ability to gauge the other person’s skills.
If you can’t, you’ll end up dying like these guys.
“Alright, let’s wrap it up, damn it! Business is over for today! Let’s go back to the city right away, sell everything, and divide it into three!”
I put all the items into a sack. This heavy feeling was the best. I thought today was going to be a bust, but who knew such great luck would roll in? People should live virtuously. Since good fortune comes to those who sleep well, I should live a life of good deeds from now on.
“I wonder if we can take this head too?”
“Head?”
Claudie said, scratching the corpse’s head with the tip of her sword. I wondered what she meant, but after thinking about it, it seemed like she was suggesting we cut off the robbers’ heads and exchange them for talents.
It was something I couldn’t have imagined, and I was shocked.
“It looks exactly like an undead… Can’t we?”
“Uh… If we give the priests human heads, claiming they’re undead heads, wouldn’t they try to cut off our heads right away?”
“Would they? That’s a shame.”
Claudie, who quickly lost interest, walked to my side and wrapped her arm around mine.
“Then let’s go down quickly.”
“Hey Copson! Is there anything else to take?”
“Wait a moment! I almost forgot the leather vest!”
“Ah, that’s right.”
Copson put on the leather vest he had taken off the corpse and ran over. We should go down and sell all the equipment to the blacksmith, and then go to the jewelry store.
“Let’s go now! What do you say, Barbarian? We have a lot of time left today, so why don’t we go down and have a drink?”
“A drink? That soun—”
A drink? Today, we’re going to drink until we drop. I was about to answer Copson like that when Claudie cut me off.
“—Sorry. I have something to do with Katt. Let’s drink next time?”
“Oh… Ah, I understand, Claudie.”
Copson seemed to feel a deep fear from Claudie’s smiling face. I felt the same way. What are you planning to do to me, you succubus?
Anyway, we went down the mountain. I didn’t know the proper path, but once we got to the bottom of the mountain, we would be able to find a way.
Since the direction the robber had escaped was the way we were originally going, we went down that way. I looked left and right, wondering if they might be hiding nearby, but there was no sign of that. It was a shame. It would be nice if I could kill just one more.
“Huh?”
As we continued down, I saw something moving.
Something was sitting in the middle of the road, wriggling.
“What the hell is that?”
The thing sitting and moving busily looked like a person or an undead. Or maybe another monster? Since the undead had been appearing in large numbers lately, we hadn’t been able to see other monsters. If it wasn’t a monster, it was probably a person or an undead.
“I have a bad feeling about this.”
Copson stopped. Claudie looked at my face and said softly.
“Katt, it’s an enemy.”
“An enemy?”
Looking closely, there weren’t just one but two things blocking the road. Only one was moving, and the other was lying on the ground.
But the one lying down looked familiar.
“Isn’t that the robber from earlier? The one who ran away.”
“Uh-huh, I think so.”
“Then what’s that thing on top of the robber?”
At that moment, the thing that had been sitting turned to look at us.
It looked subtly like a person…
“Ghoul!”
Copson shouted reflexively.
The guy with blood all around his mouth was a ghoul.
He was eating the robber’s insides.
