## Chapter 407 – Kim Kat in the Woods
I run and walk, run and walk, repeating the process. I look up at the sky whenever I get a chance, but so far, there haven’t been any harpies.
Could it be they’re not chasing me?
Maybe I’m just thinking the worst and worrying for nothing. But when you’re in a dangerous situation, it’s always better to assume the worst and act accordingly.
It’s possible the harpies are searching a wider area and haven’t reached this far yet.
“Hoo.”
I lean against a tree for a moment to rest.
If I could just find a proper path, that would be perfect, but for now, all I can do is wander around aimlessly and hope to stumble upon one by chance.
Finding a path in the mountains is usually quite difficult.
It’s often in the news, isn’t it? Quite a few people go missing after going up the mountain behind their house. And some people die while hiking, it seems.
I take a breather and take out some rations to chew on. If I ration this carefully, I can probably make it last for up to three days. It would be a problem if I run out, so hunting monsters from time to time is essential.
In the worst case, I might have to catch and grill some kobolds or goblins. Those bastards taste awful, and to think I’d be worrying about this after reaching D-rank.
Those harpy bitches.
They’ve cost me time and money. This is tearing at my heart. Even my wives must be worried.
If I meet them again, they won’t escape my judgment.
But I can forgive Sesirit.
I was able to escape in the end entirely thanks to her. More than anything, I can’t be angry at a woman who let me touch her nether regions to my heart’s content for hours, even if the situation called for it.
—Fusion Confucianism.
Cloudy told me to spread my seed far and wide, but that only applies to women who can bear children. Harpies lay eggs, so they violate this rule.
And the fact that I have to get them pregnant right away is also an error. Cloudy wants me to create the Kim Kat clan after I become a strong warrior.
So, having children is a story for the distant future.
In other words, I have to mark a woman who can promise to bear my children later, but that kind of thing hardly ever happens…! Cloudy! I miss you, please!
—Fwoosh!
I stand up as if having a fit.
—Thud, thud.
—Thud, thud.
I hear footsteps. I quickly draw my sword, thinking that the orcs have already found me, but the visitors aren’t orcs.
—Bwoor.
—Bwooong.
“What the hell are these bastards?”
What appears are grotesque mushroom people.
Watching them slowly walk through the bushes with their clumsy gait reminds me of a B-grade horror movie. Their heads are mushrooms, and their bodies, made of fungi, look fragile.
—Bwoooor.
—Moooong.
Those guys shamble forward, reaching out their arms.
“Myconids?”
I think that was a similar name, but I can’t remember.
Anyway, I give up on fighting and immediately leave the area.
Those mushroom-like monsters spray powder when you hit them, and that can be quite dangerous. It can blind you or make you sleepy for a while. And it can mess up your sense of direction.
Fighting these bastards is suicide.
It’s better to just run away.
According to the rumors I’ve heard, some mushroom monsters use their unique powder to put people into a deep sleep.
Once you’re in that state, you might as well be dead.
It would be fortunate if other monsters came and ate you. But, due to a malicious coincidence devoid of such mercy, a victim who wakes up from a long sleep without any problems is already a host for the mushrooms.
When the mushrooms growing inside his body eventually burst through his skin, he will meet his death.
The lesson of this legend is to run away if you see a mushroom monster you don’t recognize. Unless you know a definite way to deal with it, you should choose to flee.
Even a minor status ailment can be fatal in a real battle.
I try to skillfully escape the forest while avoiding such threats.
It was the morning of the day after that when I had to admit that I was lost.
“Shit.”
I crawl out of the shelter I made the day before and bask in the morning sunlight.
I have no idea where I am. There should be a village nearby somewhere, but I can’t see it, maybe I took the wrong path.
Could I have been kidnapped further than I thought?
—…
As I’m crawling out, I look up at the sky and see something big like a bird flying. For a moment, I think it’s a harpy and duck back down.
They’re still following me.
I can only hope that they’re bird-brained and quickly forget about me. They’ll probably give up and go back when they get tired of searching. They seem to move their base often, so they’ll probably move from that cliff too.
I hope so.
I lie low for a while and then come back outside.
For now, I have no choice but to pick a direction and move aimlessly. If I keep doing this, I’ll eventually find a path used by people.
That’s what I was thinking when it was around lunchtime.
It wasn’t particularly hot.
The forest was dense, so there was plenty of shade.
And as much as there was shade, anything that emitted light stood out. —Pfft. Wisps appeared again.
“Wisp bastards.”
Several wisps were flying around up ahead. They’re rare spirits, but seeing them again after the last time, it seems like this area is their concentrated habitat?
Anyway, I should probably go around them too.
That’s what I was thinking when I turned around.
“A human?”
I discovered another being besides the wisps. No, it wasn’t a discovery, but an eye contact. Something like a big butterfly—
“You’re a human?”
To put it simply, it was a Tinkerbell-like bastard.
A face as pretty as a doll, and a body just as small. And on top of her green hair were ornate antennae, and behind her back were inhuman butterfly wings.
It was a fairy.
“A fairy?”
As far as I know, fairies are an extremely cruel and terrible race, from the very beginning a madness born from nightmares, that charm and deceive humans to their deaths.
Their magical abilities are usually specialized in illusions or hypnosis, which they use to help create snacks for monsters.
What happens to a human who is charmed by a fairy and enters the forest?
It’s only natural that they end up being eaten by monsters and meeting a miserable end as soon as they regain their senses after being in a daze. Fairies make that their life’s work.
No, they even enjoy it.
Many people have been charmed and killed by their seemingly cute appearance.
Only inhuman psychopaths and serial killers called ‘spiritualists’ can communicate with these fairies or spirits.
In the first place, fairies and spirits are just killing monsters in this world.
The Naias I saw in winter was like that, and the Soul Eater I encountered in F-rank was a similar kind of being.
These bastards are never beneficial to humans.
Rather, they are highly skilled natural-born butchers with professional killing skills.
—Gooo.
I draw up my fighting spirit from within. All my senses immediately return to a combative state. I think I’ve taken the wrong path.
Is this the territory of these monsters?
The wisps that were flying around over there have already flown to my surroundings.
“What’s a human doing in a place like this? I’m curious, can I ask?”
The fairy asked with a bright voice, smiling broadly as if to ease my wariness. Looking at her like this, she just looks like a little girl who’s short and has wings.
She has the kind of look that makes you want to lock her up in a cage and raise her.
But I’m not fooled.
“…I’m lost.”
Still, it would be better than fighting if I could get past this without a fight, so I decided to try talking.
“Ah, you’re lost? Well, yeah. There’s no other reason for a human to be in a place like this. Hehe!”
“That’s right. So I want to go back, but do you happen to know if there’s a village where humans live nearby?”
“Hmph~. So you want me to tell you that?”
It would be great if she told me.
But there’s no guarantee that this murderous monster will actually tell me about a village. She just seems like a bastard who can talk, so I’m trying to resolve this peacefully if I’m lucky.
Unlike most weak humans, I have enough combat power to negotiate with monsters, so it’s something I can do.
“I might tell you if you give me a tribute!”
The fairy said, puffing out her chest.
A tribute?
“Did you say a tribute?”
“That’s right! A tribute! We fairies only grant requests if we receive a tribute!”
“Humans are the same.”
“Is that so? Anyway! You have to offer a tribute if you want to hear my answer!”
Seeing her mention a tribute, I thought I might be able to get past this peacefully. Usually, guys who ask for money are in the business, so they’ll let you go if you just give them money.
What should I give her?
Should I try giving her something shiny first?
I put my hand inside my pocket, open my wallet, and take out a 1 copper coin.
“Would this be enough?”
“A, a human coin…! But that’s not it!”
“It’s not enough?”
“That… you know, the silver shiny thing! Give me that!”
The fairy’s eyes gleamed with greed. She seems to like shiny things after all. I took out a silver coin as a test.
I can take it back if things go wrong.
“Do you want this?”
“Yes! That’s it! Give it to me!”
“You have to answer my question in return.”
“Fairies don’t lie!”
There’s no one in this world who actually doesn’t lie among those who say that.
I handed her the silver coin.
“Then you’ve offered a tribute, so please tell me the answer.”
“The question was whether I know where a human village is, right?”
“Yes.”
“That is…”
The fairy, who was hugging my 1 silver coin, created an atmosphere as if she was telling a great truth. Of course, I can pay about 1 silver if she really tells me the way.
“I don’t know!”
Did I hear something wrong?
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t know! Hehe!”
“You don’t know?”
“Yes! I don’t know where a village is! That’s my answer! You asked me if I know where a human village is! I don’t knoooow!”
For a moment, I couldn’t accept the fact that I had been scammed. This Cheonma Kim Kat was scammed by a butterfly bastard…?
As I was contemplating this, the fairy laughed at me.
“Idiot! Humans are idiots after all! Hehehe!”
It was only natural that I, who had been scammed, cut the fairy in half.
“You bitch!!!!!”
—Slash!
“Kyaa! What are you doing! That’s dangerous!”
But the fairy was fine.
The moment I tried to cut the fairy in half, her body suddenly scattered like a mirage, and the blade passed right through!
Magic!
It’s the fairy’s magic!
As expected of a fairy, she has an evasion skill!
“What are you doing all of a sudden… how rude!”
“Rude my ass, you fucking bitch.”
“Wh, what?”
“Where do you think you’re pulling your scammer bullshit!!! Give me back my money, you whore!!!”
“S, scam? I clearly answered according to the contract… Ah!!!!”
At that moment, the fairy widened her eyes and pointed at me. I was about to split this bitch’s head open, but I hesitated. Will she use that evasion skill again?
“You, you are! I’m sure of it! Human! You’re that human!”
Then she said that.
What, does she know me?
“I heard it from Naias! The public enemy of fairies! It’s an emergency! The public enemy of fairies has appeared!”
“What did you say? The public enemy of fairies?”
For a moment, the image of the spirit girl of winter, Naias, flashed through my mind.
Do you know the man who has become the public enemy of fairies?
“Everyone! The public enemy of fairies has appeared!!!”
No, fuck, how did this snowball roll all the way here? It seems like it’s been rolling like crazy since winter. How did she know it was me? Is there some kind of fairy network or something?
No more thinking is needed!
“Kieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!”
In the first place, having encountered these monster bitches, we had to fight until one of us died!!!!!
“Die, you onahole bitch!!!”
“Eek!”
I used my sword again to get my money back. But this time as well, the moment my blade touched the fairy’s body, her form blurred.
The blade passed right through the fairy.
“That’s an afterimage!”
“The real one is over there!”
First harpies, and now fairies!
I immediately performed the Vice-Captain Sword Technique and unleashed a flurry of strikes on the fairy!
“Kyaa!”
