Black-Haired Alien From Another World 195

## Chapter 195 – [Awakening] Kim Kat

A sound of weeping reached my ears.

It grew louder as I approached the cage. From that sorrowful wail, I sensed a profound, bottomless grief.

A sense of unease crept over me.
Should I really be going there?

Was something terrible about to happen?

I tried to stop myself, but hearing that sobbing, as if someone were drowning in a sea of sorrow, made it impossible to turn back. In the end, I found myself standing before the cage.

—Hic…! Sniff! Hiccough! Sniff!

Someone was trapped inside the cage.

The cracked iron bars were rusty and broken, their edges sharp. The haphazardly stacked bricks were fractured and crumbling. Inside, a figure was curled up, sobbing, entangled in vines covered with thorns.

“…”

I simply stared at him, huddled there and weeping.

He was dressed in a common tracksuit and undershirt, with neatly trimmed hair. His hands were white, without calluses. His skin was clear, and his hair shone with health.

He wept endlessly.

His sobs consumed my world. An immense sorrow, one that should not exist, began to fill everything like a vast ocean. From it, I felt despair, fear, regret, injustice, bitterness, hatred, grief, and lamentation.

Emotions I had suppressed.
Emotions I had desperately ignored.

They flooded into me.

“—Ah…”

This world was not a place where someone who had lived on modern Earth could easily survive. Dropped into a strange land without any foundation, I had to abandon everything for the sake of survival, and instead of crying out, I had to move, just to stay alive.

It was an incredibly difficult task.

For someone with my existing common sense, yes, it was an impossible task.
A world filled only with discomfort and pain.

At least, that’s what this other world was to me.

So I confined myself.
I hid myself.

The emotions that seeped in were the ones I had discarded.

“So that’s it.”

…I tried to ignore them.

No, I did ignore them. Ah, so that’s what this is. The weak man I had ignored and confined deep within my heart.

The figure huddled in the cage before me, restrained and sobbing, yes, I knew instinctively, and I couldn’t not know.

That man’s name was Kim Geun-tae.

—Hic…! Hiccoough! Sob…! Sniff!

He was me.

The ‘Kim Geun-tae’ I was when I lived on Earth. Surrounded by old bars supported by broken bricks, his body entangled in thorny vines, he was simply curled up and weeping.

I felt a deep sorrow.

…Was it pity?

“…Why are you huddled up like that?”

It pained me to see him just crying, so I spoke to him. —Swish. After sobbing for a long time, he lifted his face at my question and looked up at me. A clean face without any scars. A familiar… and also missed face. And a face from a past that could never be recovered.

He was Kim Geun-tae, not Kim Kat.

“Because I’m scared.”

He answered.

“…Why are you crying?”

I asked again.
Tears still overflowed in his eyes.

“Because I’m afraid.”

And he answered.

After answering, he completely ignored me and began to sob again.

—So that’s it.

Why he was crying like that, why he was huddled up like that. I knew. He was my ‘weak’ side that I had desperately ignored, turned away from, and tried to cut away.

It was as if I were seeing myself when I first came to this world.

No, that must be right.
That was me back then.

Weak, cowardly, and just an ordinary person.

Kim Geun-tae.

“…”

I looked down at him.

Yes.

That’s why he was protected by iron bars. Because this was hidden deeper than anything else in my heart.

To survive, I needed to hide my weakness. I needed to adorn myself with pretense. I didn’t need to cry, and I needed to kill my emotions.

There were many things I needed.
Things I didn’t have.

To have the necessary things I didn’t have, I abandoned many things.

“…You’re huddled up and crying because you’re scared and afraid?”

I knelt down on one knee.
I matched his height.

How good my hair was back then. After being discharged from the military, I couldn’t live with a buzz cut anymore, so I put some style into it and learned and practiced the best ways to manage my hair.

I reached out and placed my hand on his head.
It was so soft.

“You Elastine bastard. Look up.”

—Swish.

The crying man looked at me.

“You’ve completely ruined that handsome face.”

My face, ruined by tears.
Without scars, it looked so vulnerable.

“…I.”

Kim Geun-tae opened his mouth.

“Yes, you.”
“I’m scared, and afraid.”
“You were scared and afraid.”

I know it well.

I know it very well.

Because I.
Foisted it onto you.
And endured it.

“So. I can only cry. Because I’m weak and cowardly. Because I can’t do anything. Because I just wanted all of this to end.”

He said, tears streaming down his face.

Ah,

This is it.

This was the essence of me that I always wanted to say and wanted someone to know. The endless despair of a castaway in another world, marked by deep sorrow and injustice.

There is no one who understands.
There is no one to share the solitude.

Just despair that had to be endured alone.

“Why. Why do I have to go through this? I didn’t do anything wrong. But. But why am I in this hell? Why me? Why especially me? An unwanted hell. Why me? Why especially? Why especially me? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

He spoke for me.
Kim Geun-tae poured out his emotions, vomiting words as he cried.

It felt like my insides were about to burst out.
His sorrow began to infect me.

“I’m… weak. And I’m a coward. I can’t possibly live in this world. I want to stop now. I want to end everything. But I’m even scared of that.”
“…So you’re crying.”

I wanted to die.
If life was this painful, I’d rather die.

But when I yearned for life more strongly than anyone else, I became afraid of dying, and I did anything to survive. I clung to life. I clung to living. Like that. I lived while breaking down.

Sorrow.

Forgotten pain.

As I faced him, I too began to feel pain. I just wanted to stay here with him and cry endlessly. If it was here, I could surely cry to my heart’s content.

But.

I won’t cry.

“I won’t tell you to stop crying. Or to overcome it.”

I must not be immersed in sorrow.

“I won’t say that.”

I stood up.
I drew my sword.

“Look.”

The crying Kim Geun-tae looked at me again.

That’s enough.

Enough.

—Thwack thwack thwack!

I was angry.
I was angry at my weak self.

I immediately unleashed the Chief’s Swordsmanship. —Whoosh whoosh! Swordsmanship taken to the extreme, a blade honed only to kill the opponent! Bone-carving effort and primal macho muscle! I became stronger to survive, and I also became sharper and more cruel!

“The power of Buddha!”

I had obtained strength!
I will show you my strengthened self!

“The power of the Korean people!”

The surging passion pushed away my sorrow.

“The power of King David, who defeated the legendary Philistine general Goliath!”

—Flash! The speed of the sword dance grew faster and faster. This is not reality. There is no limit to stamina or mana here. Extreme speed. An enormous amount of mana poured out from the sword dance that dared to sever time and space, and at the same time, the inner world began to shake violently.

“Because you were weak!”

In that state, I speak to Kim Geun-tae, who is huddled up.

“Because you were weak! Because you were cowardly! Because you were gentle! Because you were kind! That’s why you despaired in this distant other world!”

I!

“I have survived while carving my bones, practiced the sword, and trained my body!”

I shouted, looking at him.
I could see his trembling eyes.

“Therefore, I have become strong!”

Look.

Look, Kim Geun-tae.

This is the ‘me’ of now!

The intensified sword dance finally reached the point of transcending the world. Exploding mana. Simultaneously scattering mana. My body floated up. In a world where gravity was reversed, I became a Heavenly Demon and looked down at Kim Geun-tae.

Now.

I can do it.

“Heavenly Demon’s Advent.”

—Kwagwang! The earth trembled. The end of the horizon collapsed and surged, and as gravity reversed, fragments of all kinds of power floated. It soon became a massive earthquake that swallowed the world.

“Heavenly Demon’s Shattering Palm.”

—Kukung! The sky cracked. As heaven and earth were rent asunder, they shed tears, and in the end, it was the sky that shattered like a pane of glass. Black fragments fell to the earth and turned into even smaller fragments. The swallowed world was destroyed as a result.

“Heavenly Demon Death Beam.”

—Tzuh-guhng! Space was pierced. The hottest ray of death of all pierced through time and space and stretched out infinitely, and that was both light and death. As a result, the world found light and knew the concept of death.

In the distorted, destroyed, and fluctuating inner world, only Kim Geun-tae, trapped in the cage, was unharmed. With anxious eyes, he looked up at me.

“Behold, the Heavenly Demon Kim Kat.”

To him.
—To me.

I will show you my strong self.

“At my gesture, the earth trembles, and the sky is shattered.”

The inner world is now completely fucked up. The huge wall that had confined me was no longer visible. It had been annihilated without a trace by the power of the Heavenly Demon Kim Kat.

“This is the ‘strength’ I gained from your ‘weakness’.”

The strength that could only be gained because I was weak.

“…Really, is that so?”

Kim Geun-tae looked at me, Kim Kat.

His tearful eyes.

“I’ve become strong…?”

Seemed to be yearning for something.

“To discuss strength in front of a Heavenly Demon?”

Ridiculous.

Ridiculous, and also ridiculous.

The Heavenly Demon is an existence beyond the heavens.

To discuss strength in front of him was as meaningless as discussing how high the sky was. The greatest of all time. Unprecedented. The strongest. That was the modifier that existed for me, the Heavenly Demon Kim Kat, and it was the truth.

“Look at the shattered world. This is the power that could only be gained because you were weak. Because you were the weakest and most cowardly. Look at the corpses I have piled up. Look at the corpses of enemies that fill the horizon. Who made that? I made it. I, Kim Kat, made it with my own power.”

Piled up corpses.

“I am the Heavenly Demon.”

The path I have walked.

“Kim Kat.”

That is the truth.

“So.”

I say.

“Your weakness.”

Looking straight at him.

“Was not wrong.”

Don’t blame yourself for being wrong.

“Really… I wasn’t wrong?”
“You were not wrong.”

You were not wrong.

It was perfectly normal to be weak and cowering.

“Hic…! But! But I’m a coward!”
“You are not a coward.”

Even so, you overcame it. You eventually survived by winning. Then it cannot be said that you are a coward. If you don’t have courage, if you don’t have the courage to live, you can’t live.

You who survived.
Are brave enough.

“Sob… hic! But! But! It’s too much for me! You may be able to do it, but I can’t! I want to go home! I want to see my mom! I want to see my dad! No more, no more! I don’t want to anymore!”
“…”

Because he was weak, because he was weak, because he was cowardly, because he was full of affection, because he was gentle and kind. He broke down and cried while cowering. That was the Kim Geun-tae of the past, the powerless Earthling Kim Geun-tae.

Clinging to survival. A battle for life.

I gave up a lot,
And at the same time, I lost a lot.

I came down to the ground and approached him.

“Don’t cry.”

I hugged him, who was crying and unable to escape from despair.

“Kim Geun-tae.”

Hot tears soaked my shoulder. I know everything. I know everything. Aren’t I you? Because I am you, I know. I exist for you. The Heavenly Demon Kim Kat exists only for Kim Geun-tae.

“Sniff… sniff! Hicccoough!”

In the end, the only one who understands you is yourself. You cannot understand others, but only you can understand yourself.

He cried sadly.

That was my essence, the truth I had desperately tried to hide. Macho, Buddha, everything was self-deception and a defense mechanism.

The real me is neither a Heavenly Demon, nor a Sword Saint, nor a Fist King, nor King David, nor a descendant of Hwanung, nor a Chakravarti—nothing. Just a weak, Earth-born, military-completed, on-leave student Kim Geun-tae.

I packaged myself to fight strong enemies.

“You are a strong human.”

I am a weak human.

“You endured well.”

Just someone who doesn’t know how to do anything.

Just an ordinary person everywhere.

It was, yes.
A very difficult thing.

So I became Kim Kat.
I abandoned Kim Geun-tae.

By becoming Kim Kat, I cut out the weak parts and passed on the vicious parts. A me that wasn’t me struggled to survive in this other world, and I killed many things for a me that wasn’t me. Like a shell. I wore smoke and deception.

What was born as a result was Kim Kat.

Kim Kat is cruel. He has no mercy and is very violent. He is strong against the weak, but at the same time, he is infinitely weak against the strong. He was just a third-rate gangster.

He can’t stand losing, and he’ll do anything if it seems like he can make money. To survive in this other world, Kim Geun-tae became that kind of Kim Kat.

“You are not at fault.”

He is not guilty.

“What’s wrong is this world.”

If we’re talking about guilt, what’s wrong is the world.

“You’re normal. It couldn’t be helped. You just didn’t want to die, so that’s what happened.”

I say, comforting him.

“So.”

The words I wanted to hear in the end.

“Crying is not profitable.”

Still, Kim Geun-tae was crying.
The thorns wrapped around his body pierced my body.

“Don’t cry.”

I stroke his head.

Ha.

Hahaha.

How funny.

“Do we not have any fucking swagger?”

I say familiarly.

“We’re fucking awesome guys. I’m a Heavenly Demon, a Heavenly Demon. I use a lot of mana too. Damn, I even cut up an orc the other day. You know? How fucking strong I am.”

At those words, Kim Geun-tae smiled for the first time. I talked to him for a long time. Talking to myself was quite a fresh feeling. An opponent with the same tendencies, sharing memories and memories, was my greatest understander and an existence I could empathize with.

—The crying man.

Smiled.

“…Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, you fucking bastard. What are you thanking me for between us? Just say ‘thanks a lot, you idiot’ in that case.”

He smiled faintly at my words and expressed his gratitude. At the same time, he said shyly that he couldn’t do that much. Yes. I was that kind of man. Just a really handsome (delusional), really frail man.

He came closer.

“Ah.”

Geun-tae’s body, hugged by me, disappeared into a brilliant stream of light.

One step.

I stepped where he had been.

“Of course.”

The particles of Geun-tae, who had become a stream of light, gathered in my hand. They gathered and gathered, becoming a condensed sphere of light emitting a brilliant radiance.

“Now leave it to me.”

Kim Geun-tae’s heart was conveyed. My truth. And my essence. Always afraid and scared. A weak man who made a substitute while cowering.

“You are.”

That.

“Not weak.”

I clenched it tightly.

—Chwaaaaa.

Light leaked out from between my fists. The magnificent light illuminated my inner world, which had been plunged into darkness. The fluctuating earth falls asleep. The shattered sky is restored. The pierced space regains its shape, and the fucked-up inner world returns to normal.

The sun rises, and as a result, day and night are created.

“This blue place is.”

My inner world.

—Drip.

Tears flowed.

At the same time, I opened my eyes.
It was my familiar and most comfortable accommodation.

“I am.”

Now I am not Kim Geun-tae.
The two have changed too much.

But.

“Kim Kat.”

Kim Kat is ultimately Kim Geun-tae, and Kim Geun-tae is ultimately Kim Kat. The two were different but the same, and the same but different.

“Kim Kat, and also Kim Kat.”

Power overflowed from my body.
I could feel the mana rising from my chest.

On this day, I faced my inner self in the truest sense.

“That means Kim Kat has awakened.”

As a result, I made mana my own power completely.

“You fucking bastards.”

The unstoppable impulse.
Starts now.