## Chapter 15 – A Date?
The sermon that finally ended after noon was, to put it vulgarly, utterly useless.
All that was left for me was mental anguish and physical wounds. From the middle onward, Winnia, unable to bear the boredom, inflicted all sorts of injuries on my body. Pinches that drew blood or bites that were just as painful were commonplace.
This bitch was no different from a monster.
“Wow! All that fuss this morning just to get this? How delightful!”
And that was Winnia’s brief impression after receiving the holy water at the end of all that suffering. Well, for once, Winnia and I were on the same page. I didn’t even plan on coming to get this stuff this morning.
If only you hadn’t come along.
“Come on, come on. Don’t be like that. If you drink this, I swear it’ll make you super healthy. It’s holy water for a reason, right? The priests said your illnesses will be cured by the blessings of God.”
Standing still and getting blasted by direct sunlight for hours had left me parched. Drinking water when you’re thirsty naturally makes you healthy. I rambled on with nonsense that wouldn’t convince anyone, just to calm Winnia down.
“You’re so full of it, you darkie. Are you just naive? Or plain stupid? What the hell is so holy about this crap? Even if you combined everything they sprinkled today, it wouldn’t melt a single imp.”
“Just drink it if you’re thirsty.”
With that, I downed the holy water in one shot.
As expected, I didn’t feel any different. The only change was that my burning thirst was quenched.
Winnia sighed and tossed the holy water away. Her indifferent action, as if it wasn’t even worth plain water, caused people who looked like vagrants to swarm in, creating a scene straight out of hell.
“It’s, it’s mine!”
“Get lost! I grabbed it first!”
“I’ll kill you!”
Ah, those starved for divine blessing.
They soon engaged in a brawl, fighting tooth and nail to get the holy water. It was a moment that proved the sermon had been utterly useless. Winnia glared at their pathetic 모습.
“What a wonderful waste of time.”
“Aren’t you thirsty?”
I grew increasingly anxious, not knowing what Winnia would do now that she was even more upset. Even a wife suffering from domestic violence at the hands of her ill-tempered husband wouldn’t be as wary of his every move as I was of hers. My shoulders trembled every time she opened her mouth.
This is fucking ridiculous.
“People should always be able to think rationally.”
“That’s right.”
“Anyway, you got to do what you wanted, darkie, so shall I do what I want now?”
I had no idea what she wanted to do, but I awkwardly smiled and agreed. Then, suddenly, she turned serious again.
“Darkie, am I bothering you? Why does your answer sound so insincere?”
“No, not at all! Let’s do whatever you want, no matter what!”
Growing desperate, I emphasized that I wasn’t bothered at all by putting extra stress on my words.
“Really? I knew it! Then come on!”
Then, as if her mood had suddenly improved, Winnia smiled brightly and began to forcefully drag me by the wrist. It was as if she were twisting the wrist of a child. Where the hell was she planning to go?
“Where are you going? You’re not taking me somewhere weird, are you?”
“Somewhere weird? You wanna go somewhere weird, darkie? What kind of brothel do you think you can afford with no money?”
“What are you talking about!”
Somewhere weird = brothel is a prejudice. More than that, how could I go to a brothel when I don’t even have a ball hair’s worth of money? I’m curious about what it’s like, but I’ve never been to one in my life. Even if I had the money, I wouldn’t go because it’s a waste.
“I’m just wondering where we’re going.”
“Then guess!”
I thought.
Where would a psycho like Winnia, who has a sensibility completely detached from ordinary people, go on a day off… A battlefield? A graveyard? Ruins? A charnel house? No. If I answered like that, she would definitely stab me to death. Think…! Where would a girl of this age go to hang out!
“I got it! The arena!”
“Wanna die?”
Apparently, that was the wrong answer, as I was punched hard in the side.
“Kweh!”
A bizarre scream, like the death throes of a duck having its foie gras extracted, burst from my mouth.
The arena was the wrong answer? That’s strange. There’s no way Winnia, who considers tormenting people weaker and less significant than herself to be the meaning of life, would dislike the arena.
I thought Winnia would gladly pay her own money to watch people die, but since that wasn’t it, I couldn’t think of any other correct answers.
“No! Stop! Stop hitting me! Please stop hitting me! It hurts too much!”
The penalty for a wrong answer didn’t end with just one punch.
I was still getting my ass kicked.
“Why! The arena’s great!”
“Are you going to keep treating a woman like this, darkie?”
I don’t see you as a woman…
“I like the arena…”
The city’s arena was a cultural facility that enjoyed great popularity as almost the most enjoyable spectacle in this world, where there was no other cultural content. The main content was monster vs. monster, human vs. monster, and finally, the most popular, human vs. human.
The types of matches included 生決 (saeng-gyeol, a match where neither party is killed), 生死決 (saeng-sa-gyeol, a match that only ends when one of the two dies), and the DeathMatch, where all sorts of creatures are thrown in to determine the last one standing.
Watching them fight and splatter blood was fun, but what was most exciting was the legal gambling to determine the winner.
Of course, I’ve only ever lost.
Those bastards are definitely cheating.
Anyway, as a pro tip, if you happen to get your hands on a monster egg, it’s a good idea to bring it to the arena. It’s quite lucrative, and professional dealers are even called egg hunters. This is because the arena chronically suffers from a shortage of monsters.
“Then where the hell are you trying to go?”
“You really don’t know? You’re so stupid, darkie. Well, I kind of like that about you, but it’s a little frustrating today.”
“…”
Then where the hell are you going?
“Isn’t it obvious? Shopping, of course?”
I really couldn’t have imagined that.
The place I was dragged to was a street of shops that I had no connection to. It wasn’t a street lined with blacksmiths or general stores, but a street that dealt with purely cultural things. In other words, it was a place that sold high-quality clothes, jewelry, or perfumes.
I never thought I’d come to a place like this in my life. The units on the price tags visible through the shop windows made my eyes doubt themselves. Who said 1 gold could feed a family of four for a month? I could survive for years alone with 1 gold.
“What are you doing? Aren’t you coming in?”
I was too afraid to enter the clothing store that looked so luxurious.
Am I, a hyper-shit-tier loser, even allowed to enter a place like this? That question lingered in my mind. Clothes represent status, and my iron-clad face level was too low to enter this place in my current state.
“I, it’s a little… hard to go in.”
“Embarrassed?”
“Ashamed.”
“What are you worried about when I’m here? Shut up and come in.”
The smell inside the store was different from the start. I followed Winnia with a tense and stiff body.
Winnia seemed to like my shrunken appearance, as she stood on tiptoe and reached out to pat my head once.
“Hehe. You’re so cute, darkie. So cute I just wanna kill you.”
“You’re the cutest in the world, Winnia.”
“When, when, when you talk, put your heart into it. Or you wanna die? Huh? Darkie.”
“Yes…”
The clerks, seeing the relationship between the pretty magician and the raggedy beggar, were about to question it when Winnia handed me her staff, hat, and cloak.
“Hold these for a second.”
Then she picked up a piece of clothing and went into the fitting room.
Huh?
No, this development… could it be!
“How is it?”
“Holy shit.”
Incredibly, Winnia went into the fitting room, changed her clothes, and came out! Then she asked me how the clothes looked on her!
This promised development!
I can’t accept it!
These kinds of lover events are supposed to be done with a girlfriend!
“Does it suit me?”
So, Winnia was wearing not her usual purple robe with the exposed chest, but a frilly and airy outfit.
Does it suit her… Winnia asked me that. Then I have to give her an evaluation. Since ancient times, if a woman wears clothes and asks if they suit her, you shouldn’t just brush it off, but answer seriously.
“That outfit is not suitable for combat.”
Thinking about it coldly, this is not modern Earth, but a barbaric world where the threat of battle always looms.
That kind of outfit may look pretty, but it’s useless in practice, or rather, it’s a hindrance. In my sensibility, it would be better to tightly fix the airy parts, add a breastplate and shoulder pads, and protect the joints with chains.
“No, you fucker. I’m asking if the clothes suit me, why are you saying that kind of shit? You’re really pissing me off today, darkie?”
“Please calm down! I’m just kidding!”
I almost got hit again.
Still, Winnia, being a girl, looked quite pretty in those clothes.
“It’s not just that it suits you, you look really pretty. I think you might be the prettiest in this city!”
“You’re saying it insincerely again, fucker?”
“No, no! It’s true! You’re really pretty! I never lie about a woman being pretty! So please put down your fist, please! You’re so pretty!”
“Really?”
“You’re really, really pretty, Winnia-nim!”
“Kyahahaha! Really? Really?”
I spent a long time flattering Winnia’s entire body as if I were sucking it dry. Winnia seemed to like it quite a bit. Anyway, the fitting session went on for about an hour in that kind of atmosphere. Winnia told me to rate the clothes she had tried on.
I replied that they were all so beautiful that I couldn’t rate them. After showering her with such lip service continuously, Winnia seemed to have reduced her violence a little.
“Yes, this one, this one, this one, and this one. Please calculate everything.”
“Thank you! Customer!”
I don’t know why clothes are so expensive. Shit.
Winnia bought a huge amount of clothes all at once. I was worried that she would suddenly ask me to buy them all for her, but it seems that was unfounded. In fact, even if I combined all my assets, I wouldn’t be able to buy even one piece of clothing here.
“Your eyes must be spinning.”
So women really like shopping. If I had that kind of money, I would have bought armor first and replaced my sword with a better one. I couldn’t understand that kind of waste of money.
“What are you doing not carrying them?”
And of course, I had to carry all the luggage. This is fucking ridiculous. Why do I have to carry someone else’s stuff?
“Let’s carry some together…”
“You’re weak, darkie, so you need to exercise at times like this. Huh? Aren’t you grateful?”
“…”
I’m not that weak.
“No, darkie. If you’re grateful, you should say thank you. That’s common sense.”
This bitch is definitely a psycho.
“Thank you.”
Thank you, Midori.
“So what are we going to do now?”
I asked. I didn’t think Winnia would let me go so soon. I would be freed at least when the sun went down.
“Are you asking me that?”
“You’re the boss. I have to ask you, the boss.”
“Don’t talk about being a boss. You’re really going out with me and you haven’t thought of anything? Really?”
I didn’t even know you were coming today.
“No, actually, it’s my first time doing anything with a girl, so I don’t really know what to do.”
Looking back, I hadn’t really hung out with a girl before.
Not to mention in this world, but even in my hometown, I had taken the excellent path of all-boys middle school, all-boys high school, engineering college, and the military, so there were no special points of contact. They say that even if you take that path, those who are meant to be will be, but the difficulty is different, you fuckers.
“What? First time?”
“Yeah, first time.”
At those words, Winnia was rarely shocked.
“You’ve never hung out with a girl before?! At your age? Really!”
“Why are you so surprised about that.”
It hurt more than any of the pain I had suffered today.
“Oh my, oh my! Oh my goodness!”
“Please stop being surprised…”
Winnia started to jump around, and for some reason, she looked very happy.
Why?
Why is she so happy the more pathetic I turn out to be???
“Hmm… Looking at your appearance and origin, it’s understandable! The barbarian girls didn’t play with you?”
“I don’t know, fuck…”
In the first place, I had never even seen a “barbarian girl.” Being a barbarian was a lie, I was actually born on Earth. In the first place, there were too few people with black hair in this city.
“Hehe, I see. I see. Well, that’s good. Then I’ll have to teach you!”
“Yeah… thanks…”
My heart ached so much. Physical pain and nagging were something I could endure to some extent, but thinking that Winnia had found out about this sensitive issue made my heart ache more than anything else.
“Aren’t you grateful that I’m playing with you, darkie? Aren’t you grateful that a pretty magician like me is playing with a beggar like you?”
“I’m so grateful that tears are coming out, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m grateful or because I’m sad…”
“I’m the only kind person in this world who would play with a beggar like you!”
Rain fell in my heart…
