Chapter 85 – First Hero and First Lady (1)
Nernim Maraud is dead.
She was a dependable person.
She was someone I thought would never die.
Perhaps.
A teacher might be able to rescue me, she believed.
It was a stupid decision.
It was a foolish belief.
As a result he died.
Being decapitated by the ronin priest.
Died in vain
Became a madman
Oh
People die so easily.
Now you’ve become someone I can’t see
The esophagus is hot and spicy.
God comes up
I feel sick to my stomach.
It’s painful.
It’s not that I’m suffering from being gang-raped now.
It’s painful that you died.
My mind and thoughts seem to be dyed black.
If you open the chest and look inside, wouldn’t there be a black rotting heart?
Look.
The inside is all black background.
It’s pitch black, dark like an abyss.
It looks like burnt-out charcoal.
The weak light went out, and it was dyed black.
Yes.
Wouldn’t it be the price of rebelling while claiming to comply?
I should have done better.
She should have been a saint more suited to Ronin’s tastes.
Aha.
That’s it.
Let’s not have
False hope too.
Severe rebellion.
Let it all go
Throw away, throw away, throw away again.
Because your mind will be at ease
Let’s move according to Ronin’s will.
Let’s obey in the true sense, let’s be submissive.
Because I had a vain wish.
It’s no different than if the teacher is dead.
If I had strongly suggested quitting.
If I hadn’t suffered
If I didn’t ask
He would have lived
Perhaps, having a trivial conversation, it was difficult, but not without hope.
It is no different from crushing a small shelter with my own hands.
“Ahaha, haha.”
It’s pathetic.
Laughter seems to burst out.
Can you be so stupid
A tingling pain and anguish eats away at my head.
I feel a lump of meat going back and forth in my groin.
Pleasure.
Pleasure again.
It is a pleasure full of heat.
“Are you laughing this year?”
“Are you out of your mind?”
“Even if she is a nun, that means she is a girl who enjoys being hugged by men.”
“Huh, the woman the nun reveals. Wasn’t she just a bare pussy?”
“How big and soft are your breasts again?”
The men trampled on my body even more violently, as if they were happy with my reaction.
It must have been so nice to see her burst into laughter after shedding suppressed moans without any response.
Is this the result of hostility against you?
Scary
Ronin.
Didn’t I say you enjoy teasing me?
I’ll give up.
I will accept it now
‘Cause I’ll be quiet
‘Cause I can hurt you
I will be patient.
Nernim Maraud.
Teacher.
Can’t you save me?
Except for Makarov, he was the only person who looked at me as I was.
Even if that feeling comes from compassion.
Even though he raped me
He was a person who was easy to talk to.
He even gave it for me.
I was able to survive because of him.
I was able to persevere.
I won’t dream of a happy future.
I won’t bet everything on an uncertain and opaque tomorrow.
If you do it, you do it, if you do it, you get it.
So save me
Save the teacher
Please!
Why should someone like that die for something like me!
For something dirty and insignificant like me!
It hurts.
Her chest stabbed.
I can’t stand it.
I want to be comfortable.
I want to die.
It was a confession without any meaning.
Because Ronin isn’t a god, he can’t hear my thoughts.
I continued to burst into dry laughter.
Moaning came out in the middle, but how is it?
Now I don’t know what it is
What makes you happy, what makes you happy, what makes you happy.
It turns into an unknown color like paint mixed together.
If you mix them together, you end up with black.
Both positive and negative emotions.
It feels like the brain itself that feels all of that is out of sync.
The stress builds up, and it feels like my head, which has not been able to withstand the heavy load, is about to explode.
Beep beep.
I hear this name
Tinnitus, tinnitus, tinnitus.
Tinnitus that pierces the eardrum sharply.
I covered my ears with my relatively free hands.
Because I didn’t want to hear this sound.
Still, the name continued to be heard.
It continued to be heard, mixed with the voices of men.
The color of sight disappears.
Grey.
Vision turning dark gray.
“Ahahahaha.”
Laughed
It was a dry laugh, as if expressing the empty sound coming from an empty chest.
Hostility, resentment, and anger are too many emotions for me to have.
An overwhelming emptiness consumes me.
The mind that has reached its limit, the critical point, melts away.
And finally.
There was the sound of something snapping.
It wasn’t until after it was cut off that it didn’t bother me.
Okay.
It’s no longer painful.
* * *
I remembered.
Why do you recall this memory?
“It was called a test. A test that shows you the most painful past.”
What space have I been in?
A gray space that is neither white nor black.
See you there
He is a man with black hair and brown eyes.
I know that man
I have no choice but to know.
Because you are me
-Yes.
I have
Me as a man
Not a made-up me, but the real me.
You, who resisted Ronin, were miserably trampled and lost your will.
“It’s a terrible memory whenever I think about it.”
– You know that better than anyone.
He put on a dry expression.
I too would be similar to him.
Because the wounds we received are the kind of wounds we cannot accept with a smile.
Even licking a deep wound hurts.
There is no clear prescription.
You have to wait for it to heal naturally.
The flowing blood hardens, scabs form, and the only way to heal is to grow new skin.
Still, scars will leave scars.
Every time I see that scar, I will keep thinking of it.
I will never forget this event for the rest of my life.
Like a stigma.
That kind of hurt
I see you again
“So, am I pass?”
As a man, I shook my head aloof.
-No. You didn’t overcome yourself.
Is it.
Consent went.
I was only saved by Einstein, it wasn’t because I overcame the demon of a man called Ronin.
Without you, I would still be Ronin’s doll.
What would it be like if you were the original protagonist?
Could I have overcome it alone?
I haven’t seen it there so I don’t know.
But, is it a logarithm?
“I will try to overcome it in the future.”
Asserted
He frowned and clicked his tongue.
-Do you still have any bluffs left?
“It’s not a bluff.”
You laugh at me
Then he gave me a look as if he was looking at something pitiful.
Yes.
It is a gaze full of compassion.
– The strong one is Einstein, not you.
He doesn’t seem to know.
What kind of mind do I have right now?
“There are enough things I can do. Because I decided to help Einstein. And he needs me too.”
-Can I say that in front of Ronin?
“He is already dead.”
– I thought Gina saved her life?
How do you bring a dead person back to life?
It’s nothing more than a crazy woman’s bullshit.
“I don’t believe you.”
-Indeed. Exterior is also one of the ways to live.
“Do you want me to sound weak?”
– To some extent.
“I’m sorry. I may be afraid alone, but with Einstein I can do my best.”
-It’s nothing more than a ho-ga-ho.
“Even so, as long as Einstein exists, I won’t be as broken as you.”
– You will eventually run away too. I will turn my eyes to reality. Because you are me
“Different.”
-Do you think so?
I frowned.
I wish I was such a bad person.
He ran a hand through his long hair and asked.
“So what should I do to take the retest?”
-Are you going to do it again?
“I will do it until I can.”
– On the subject of being terrified?
“I can’t muster up the courage myself, but I can borrow it.”
You blatantly clicked your tongue.
Did my words sound so hateful?
-It’s okay. Einstein already passed, so you too.
“… What do you mean by that?”
– Go on your way.
I kept my mouth shut.
I don’t think I’m going to take the test again.
“… Where do I go to get out of here?”
He pointed to the right with his index finger.
-Go over there.
“It’s not a lie, is it?”
– I don’t want to see your face, so please turn it off quickly.
Even if you say it, you do it very inconspicuously.
I raised my middle finger and stuck out my tongue.
“I don’t like to see losers like you either.”
His behavior became a little strange, perhaps because he had a conversation with the spirit who had left the house.
He smiled and waved his hand.
-You know that’s spitting in my face?
“It’s the skin wavelength.”
– I’m looking forward to it.
“What.”
-Would Ronin feel like this? I want to see your confident expression wrinkle.
“… People can’t say good things, but you shouldn’t say bad things.”
– I hate myself. But how can I say something nice?
Sharp, twisted words.
I felt a terrible sense of self-loathing to this point.
It seemed that if he waited a little longer, his negative energy would erode to this point.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, and it’s dirty.”
-Is there a need to share the body or something? We both look the same.
“At least I don’t consider myself a man.”
– Ugh, disgusting.
“… You made it.”
-So that’s what you’re saying.
I continued walking in the direction he told me to go.
Then a bright light engulfed me.
* * *
I opened my eyes.
A human face was seen.
It must have been embarrassing, but strangely, there was no agitation.
Rather happy
Because what I saw when I opened my eyes was your face.
The lips draw arcs arbitrarily.
His expression when he saw my smile also relaxed a little.
“Aria, are you out of your mind?”
It was a tone full of concern and consideration.
I can’t stand you because you are lovely.
“It’s been a while, Ain.”
“… Yeah, it’s been a while.”
Judging from Ain’s reaction, he must have seen a terrible past.
Unlike me, he must have overcome adversity.
His eyes asked
‘Have you been through this too?’
I nodded lightly and said.
“I am not a passerby. What about the others?”
Ain said calmly.
Maybe because of the tone, I feel like my heart is calming down.
“It’s just you and me. Everyone looked for it, but couldn’t find it.”
“Is that so.”
“There are girls, to be exact.”
I heard the Holy Sword’s voice.
It wasn’t the buzzing thought wave as usual, but a clear voice.
When I raised my head, a blue-green long-haired girl approached me in a simple dress.
Both I and Ain saw her for the first time, but I knew who she was right away.
Ain opened his mouth.
“Karelin, what about that body?”
“Ah, it’s a body that can only be made here. Are you surprised?”
“Little.”
The holy sword, Karelin, lifted the hem of the dress with both hands and smiled cleanly.
“Hero and Saint. Come on. In the Cradle of Truth.”
