Chapter 62 – Clea’s Secret 1-1
“…Whoa…”
Feeling the morning sun, I woke up and prayed to the Goddess, then got up and sat down on the bed.
A pleasant holiday today. After the treatment of the adventurers who participated in the Hero Eater subjugation was completed to some extent, Paul gave her priests and nuns a holiday in turn.
In fact, my daily routine doesn’t change much even on holidays, but a day when I can rest comfortably makes me feel at ease.
But why? It’s a holiday that should be comfortable, but I’ve had a strange feeling that I can’t calm down a few days ago.
Maybe it’s because of what Paul called me the night I returned from the Hero Eater subjugation.
That night, Paul, who secretly called me to the back of the church, said something very surprising to me.
That I’ve always loved you After her election as a saint was over, she asked her to marry him and be with her for the rest of her life, no matter the outcome.
Actually, I was kind of expecting it. When he called me, Paul’s Esser was shaking the most among the Esers I had ever seen.
It’s been 10 years since I’ve known Paul. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t notice the feelings Paul was sending me.
‘I… Get married…’
Even though I’m a little past marriageable age, I still can’t imagine being with the man I love.
Most of the Esser I felt from the men who approached me was unbearably disgusting, and because of that feeling, I had a hard time dealing with men and avoided them.
But 10 years ago. The Esser I felt from Paul whom I met while doing relief work in the small town where I lived… Somehow was a little different from other men.
Could it be because of that? Soon after, he naturally became friendly with Paul, and when that Paul became a bishop, he left the village where he seemed to live for the rest of his life and followed Paul to Ladia.
When Paul, whom I had been with for about 10 years, confessed, I felt a surge of joy, and words of joy came out of my mouth, naturally accepting the confession.
It seems that in my heart, without knowing it, I thought that I would be with Paul. But…
‘…Is this what love feels like…’
Having been raised in the church since I was born, I still don’t know what love is.
I only know the Esser and the voice I can feel, but I don’t see what people look like because I’m blind, and I don’t understand why nuns of the same age talk about nice men.
Of course, I can trust Paul, and I think I like him too… But I can’t imagine myself living with him for the rest of my life.
I definitely feel comfortable and stable when I’m with Paul… But somehow, I feel like it’s lukewarm to be called love… I’m not sure if this is the feeling of love.
I’m not sure if my feelings are love, can I be with a caring man like Paul?
The love I recognized from Braille books and from conversations with nuns my age is… Something that should be thrilling… Hot… And intense. Why can’t I feel that way for Paul?
…Come to think of it, not too long ago, I felt something similar to the emotions I was imagining… A strong feeling.
A new beast who came to Radia. Sema… And the day I participated in the Hero Eater subjugation with Sema at Paul’s recommendation.
When Mr. Sema, angry with me, ripped off the skirt of my nun’s uniform and slapped him on the ass with his big hand.
With a wild pain in my butt… Somehow… I felt the same intensity I had imagined.
Why? The Esser that I felt from Mr. Sema was more vicious and fearful than any other man I had ever seen.
Sema-san, who has the kind of Esser that some men feel, that feels like it’s going to hit me right away… That kind of unpleasant feeling that’s concentrated dozens of times and poured on me.
I think I misunderstood Mr. Sema because of that Esser… Even so, I was confused because I couldn’t understand the sensation I felt when I got hit on the butt.
Even if it was a misunderstanding, he was quite reluctant because of his vicious energy… And he was subjected to such shameful corporal punishment. Why did he feel that way?
I don’t understand with my lack of common sense.
‘… Oops…’
When I think about what happened at that time, somehow my body feels hot and I feel a tingling sensation in my lower stomach.
A strange sensation that I have felt several times in my life. I haven’t felt this kind of sensation lately, but every time I think about getting slapped by Sema-san, this strange feeling comes over me.
‘Immaculate Goddess, please do not put me into the test…’
I felt like I was getting weird whenever I felt this strange sensation once every 1-2 years, so I always prayed to the goddess and endured… In just a few days, I prayed this prayer several times.
Did something go wrong with my body?
“Ha…”
After praying for a long time, when I had calmed down somewhat, I approached the window and measured the time by the dim light in my barely visible eyes. It must have been close to lunchtime.
‘Shall we find Paul and have lunch together…’
You may feel a little differently when you meet someone who will become your future spouse. Thinking so, I left the room to find Paul.
When she left the nuns’ dormitory and tried to find Paul, concentrating on her bodily sensations…
I felt the approach of an unpleasant feeling that I had felt somewhere, and a chill spread throughout my body.
This hideous feeling of Esser. No way…
“Hi Clea. See you again.”
“Uh, what!? Se, Sema…?”
There, there was Shinsoo, Sema-san, who I wanted to avoid.
It seems that she came to meet Mr. Ars and Mr. Lisbeth, who came to receive compensation for the previous request from Paul, but got mixed up.
Because of Sema’s reluctant energy, I wanted to just say hello to her and leave… But Sema started inviting me to eat together.
For some reason, the Esser that I felt from Sema felt more reluctant today, so I wanted to refuse it as much as I could, but…
After all, I felt sorry for rejecting Sema-san’s recommendation, which continued with the work during the Hero Eater subjugation, so I said that I would understand in the end.
After that, we followed Sema into a somewhat luxurious restaurant, chatting and admiring the luxurious cuisine we were trying for the first time.
It seemed that alcohol came out at some point, but since I drank a sip of the mass wine used in the church, it would be okay if it was a little bit.
In the meantime, after some time, the tension eased and I got used to Sema-san’s energy, so I brought up what I wanted to say to Sema-san.
“I… I’m sorry. Mr. Sema.”
“Yes? What?”
When I confessed and apologized for the feelings I had with Sema, Sema comforted me by saying that it was okay.
Really… I was so reluctant to such a person. I thought that the sense I feel from other people was almost certain until now, but after all, do you know people only when you meet them?
After toasting with that thought, while eating sweet drinks and food… My consciousness began to blur as if there was a fog in my head.
At some point, my consciousness fell asleep in that fog.
