## Chapter 1 – My Childhood Bro Was My Childhood Sweetheart (1)
From the center of the world, I shouted with all my heart:
“Aaaargh! I wanna have sex~~!!”
People passing by looked at me like I was a retard.
A back alley with a lot of foot traffic.
A hot spot densely packed with bars, restaurants, and date locations.
Girls dressed to the nines and guys acting all high and mighty were crawling around like cockroaches.
Only I was alone there.
Because I was on my way back from being dumped by my girlfriend.
No, it’s hard to even say I was dumped. I don’t even know if she was a real girlfriend in the first place.
We only said we were dating, but we never did anything that couples do.
So, before breaking up, I asked if we could at least have sex once.
But what came back wasn’t sex, but a slap to the face.
“Damn… I’m confident I’d be good at it, too.”
I stroked my still-tingling cheek and glared resentfully at the passing couples.
I was confident I could do well, if only I could get to the starting line of ‘doing it.’
But the problem was that I couldn’t even get to the ‘doing it’ starting line.
What’s the difference between me and that guy walking around with a hottie on his arm?
Is it the face? Is it really the face?! Damn it!
“Eek?!”
When I glared at a pretty boy passing nearby as if I was going to devour him, he ran away as if avoiding a crazy person.
“Damn it.”
I suppressed my anger and hurried home.
Then, a group of girls caught my eye.
About seven or eight young women were walking in a line toward me.
A girl thing. They never make way, even when walking in groups.
Oh, my. The epitome of self-centeredness!
Why do those girls always walk in a line like that, even in a narrow alley?
Even when they clearly see someone coming towards them.
Come to think of it, in dramas, a relationship starts even if a man and woman just bump into each other while walking.
But that’s probably because they’re as pretty and handsome as actors, right?
Someone like me would probably only get into a fight if I bumped into a girl.
Thinking about it made me even more pissed off.
“Ah!”
-Thud!
Was it because I was walking while thinking such thoughts? Eventually, things went south.
I tried to turn my shoulder slightly to avoid the girls coming towards me.
But the girl walking right in front of me didn’t move even a millimeter. As if it was 100% natural for me, a man, to stick to the wall and avoid her.
As a result, that girl’s shoulder lightly bumped into my shoulder as I tried to avoid her. (Even though the girl was my type, I didn’t bump into her on purpose.)
Lightly. Very lightly. It was just a fleeting touch, a brush.
I only felt the sensation of a butterfly landing and flying away.
But it seemed that wasn’t the case for the girl.
“Ugh! What the?!”
The girl made a fuss and shouted loudly.
Wow. Figures.
Just the reaction I imagined.
A relationship for someone like me? What a joke.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“Did that person bump into you?”
The girls who had been standing in a line instantly gathered into a pack.
Damn it. If you can do that, then walk like that from the start.
“Mister! If you hit someone, you should apologize, shouldn’t you?”
The girl I bumped into glared at me and charged at me.
Of course, I was also at fault for not avoiding her completely.
But if we were to determine the fault for the accident, it would be 3:7, or at worst 4:6, with the girl being more at fault.
Even Han Moon-cheol would clutch the back of his neck.
More than anything, the way she spoke was so damn annoying. Damn it.
“No, I didn’t hit you, you were the one who….”
“What about me?!”
I spoke politely, but the girl charged at me as if she was about to hit me.
Damn it. Should I really just hit her?
A girl thing. They’ve never been hit before, so they can’t even imagine being hit.
That’s why they cross the line and do things that deserve a beating without a second thought.
But the girl was in a group, so I was definitely at a disadvantage.
Even if I was dragged to the police station, those girls would definitely side with her.
What if I was falsely accused of something and my life went down the drain?
“Ha….”
I’m finally getting some fresh air. I didn’t want to screw up my life for nothing.
I swallowed my pride and endured. And I was just going to apologize and end it.
Then.
A girl in the group, who had been looking at us with an indifferent expression, said loudly:
“Hey! Aren’t you Dick King?”
“Huh.”
Dick King.
I didn’t mishear. And it’s not like this girl misspoke.
Dick King was none other than my childhood nickname.
The reason for that nickname is very simple.
…Because my name is Joo Ji-wan.
It’s not that my dick is big, but that my dick is really king-sized, which is why I got that nickname.
For elementary schoolers, names are like a spring from which nicknames gush forth.
It was a very natural flow to twist my name Joo Ji-wan into Dick King, or Cock King.
But that was a long time ago.
Naturally, no one called me that after high school. It’s not like I’m an elementary schooler.
But to be called that by a girl my age at this age. Should I be happy about this?
“Oh, what? Who, who is it? Shin Ji-yo?”
Judging by the fact that she’s calling me Dick King, there’s a high possibility that she’s a childhood friend.
So, I was about to drop the honorifics. But for some reason, the atmosphere among the girls suddenly turned hostile the moment I tried to ask in informal speech. That’s why I quickly added honorifics.
Seriously, what’s with that? It wasn’t this hostile even when I was arguing with that girl.
Do you really have to glare at me like you’re going to kill me just because I spoke informally?
“Ahahaha! Look at this guy. It’s me! Don’t you know who I am?”
“Uh oh….”
But the girl didn’t care about the atmosphere and patted me on the shoulder, acting friendly.
Uh oh? What is this, really?
I’m used to the nickname Dick King, but I don’t remember being called that by a girl.
Of course, that was a nickname only guys called each other, and if a passing girl happened to hear it, she would hate it.
But now there’s a girl calling me Dick King, so I can’t help but be flustered.
If I had such a pretty girl around me, there’s no way I wouldn’t remember her.
“Unni. Do you know him?”
“Senior, let’s just go.”
“Yeah. He’s ugly as hell. He’s so annoying.”
“……What?”
Anyway, in the midst of the atmosphere flowing towards a rough resolution.
Even I, who am called the reincarnation of Buddha, couldn’t just let those words pass.
I can tolerate insults about my face. It’s true that I’m ugly.
But I can’t forgive anyone who insults my face.
“What the fuck did you just say?”
The one who insulted my face was the girl I bumped into.
The girl started muttering and blaming me again.
“No, it’s because you bumped into me and didn’t even apologize….”
At that moment.
-Slap!
The sound of a slap echoed loudly and refreshingly.
For a moment, I flinched, thinking I had been hit.
But it wasn’t.
The girl I was arguing with was holding her cheek with an unbelievable expression.
The girl who slapped her was the girl who acted like she knew me.
My mouth dropped open so wide that it touched the floor.
“Get lost. You ruined my mood.”
“Se, Se-in…?”
What was surprising wasn’t just that.
I thought the girl who got slapped would unleash her nasty temper and charge at her, but in front of the girl who slapped her, she became completely docile and even fawned over her.
“I, I’m sorry, Se-in. I didn’t mean to….”
“Se-in sunbae. Jo-young unni didn’t know what she was doing, so please calm down.”
And the other girls also tried to mediate between the two, acting cute.
……Wait.
Se-in? Did she say Se-in?
“Damn it! All of you, get lost!”
The girl who slapped her shouted.
Only then did the group of girls flinch and scurry away.
Some of them were still flattering her, saying things like, ‘Sunbae, I’ll text you.’
“Ha, damn it. This is why girls are like this.”
The girl was left alone, grumbling.
She’s a girl herself, so what’s she talking about?
No, there was a more important issue.
“Hey, are you by any chance Jung Se-in?”
“Took you long enough to recognize me, you son of a bitch.”
A smile bloomed on the face of the girl who turned to look at me.
“No… but you’re….”
My head was full of confusion.
If she’s Jung Se-in, she’s my childhood friend who lived in the same neighborhood until the lower grades of elementary school.
The term childhood friend means that she should have balls.
But…….
I looked back and forth between the girl’s face, chest, and hips.
Face. Pretty, fair, and slender. Her eyes, nose, and mouth are distinct, and her face is only the size of my fist.
Chest. Her parents must have only fed her good things. Even though she’s skinny, only her chest was bulging out.
Hips. Are her parents foreigners? She had something similar to breasts on her butt.
She wasn’t a childhood bro.
She was definitely a girl.
“What.”
“Why are you a girl?”
“What are you talking about? I was always a girl, you son of a bitch.”
“??”
Huh?
No way?
“Don’t tell me… did you get a sex change?”
I have a pretty open mind about modern PC society.
So, I asked without prejudice, but it seems like she didn’t see it that way.
-Whack!
Jung Se-in hit me on the head.
“I told you I was always a girl, you son of a bitch!”
Even after hearing that, my head was still confused.
How could that Jung Se-in be a girl?
I dredged up fragmentary memories from my childhood.
‘Dick King! Why are you Dick King?’
‘Why else! It’s because my dick is king-sized!’
In front of Jung Se-in, who asked that, I proudly showed off my dick.
Then Jung Se-in would admire my dangling dick.
‘Ooh! As expected of Dick King! You live up to your name!’
Being praised like that was my small joy in my childhood.
Having a slightly bigger dick than the other elementary schoolers around me was a subtle source of pride.
Come to think of it, I’ve shown my dick a lot, but I don’t remember seeing other friends’ dicks very often.
The same goes for Jung Se-in. I only showed it to her, but I never saw hers.
“I’m not an idiot, so you’re saying I mistook you, a girl, for a boy?”
“Yeah. You are an idiot.”
Then Jung Se-in laughed so hard that she lost her breath.
No way!
Jung Se-in was definitely a boy.
His face was a bit pretty, but he had no chest or hips.
He was good at running and playing games, and he dressed like a boy. He was almost as tall as me.
“……Huh??”
But when I think about those pieces of evidence, there’s no definite proof that he was a boy.
The boundaries between boys and girls are vague when they’re young.
It’s natural not to have breasts or hips since she was an elementary schooler.
There were plenty of girls who were taller than boys.
“You… were you really a girl?”
“Puhahahahaha!”
I asked, still half-doubting.
And Jung Se-in burst into laughter.
Then I showed my dick in front of a girl? Crazy!
“Ha, damn it, this is so funny. Dick King, how haven’t you changed at all?”
“Ha………….”
Jung Se-in was even shedding tears from laughing, but I was speechless from the biggest shock of my life.
How could someone I believed to be my childhood bro be a girl?
Isn’t this the kind of story that only comes out in love comedy manga?
“Se, could this be… the ripples of a love comedy?”
“Puh! Puhahahaha-!”
Jung Se-in laughed so hard at my mutterings that she was about to collapse.
……I guess my life genre isn’t a love comedy.
Then is it just a comedy without the love?
Tch. Whatever. It’s better than being depressed.
“Hey, hey. Stop laughing so much.”
“Hiccup, you’re, so funny. Sniffle.”
Jung Se-in was now on the verge of crying from laughing so much.
Ha… seriously.
Was I blind when I was young? How could I mistake this for a boy?
“Ha. My stomach hurts so much. Where’s your house?”
“What? Why my house?”
“Why else, you son of a bitch. You made me lose my place to sleep. And it’s been a while since we met, so aren’t you going to buy me a drink?”
Then Jung Se-in casually put her arm around my shoulder.
Her actions were definitely no different from a male friend.
But the squishy sensation of her breasts touching my arm. And the fragrance wafting from her body was definitely asserting that this girl was a woman.
Jung Se-in.
Should I treat her as a friend, or as a woman?
The confusion in my head still hadn’t subsided.
“Screw it, I don’t know! Damn it, let’s go!”
“Puhahahaha!”
After agonizing over it, I casually put my arm around Jung Se-in’s shoulder as well.
Even that made Jung Se-in laugh again, as if it was funny.
