Chapter 74 – Collapse Day 1 (5)
1.
Hyunwoo looked down at Hyeji, who was shaking her head and sobbing bitterly.
What on earth is love, and what is loneliness?
The fear of being abandoned by someone she loved consumed her life.
The deficiency that followed her throughout her life, and the mental illness that that deficiency gave rise to, ultimately led her life to the abyss.
It seemed that she no longer had any dignity left as a human being, or even the bare minimum of intelligence.
It was truly the optimal condition to raise the level of brainwashing.
“Hehe… Just put your head down and reflect. I’ll go out for a while and get something.”
“Ugh… Yes… Please… Ugh… Please…”
Hyunwoo left the bathroom, leaving behind Hyeji, who kept muttering the words “Please”.
There was a smile on his face as he walked around the room and collected the necessary items.
Box tape, oil-based magic, and other miscellaneous things placed on a small tray.
Hyunwoo took his cell phone for the last time and opened the bathroom door.
The sound of her crying, still with her head down and sobbing, welcomed him.
Hyunwoo puts the tray down on the sink shelf and turns on the recording function on his phone. The intention was to record all of today’s conversations because I had a place to write them down. The plan was to film a video later after blindfolding her.
Before getting her up, I checked her cell phone on silent mode one more time and put it in a corner where she couldn’t see it.
“Raise your head.”
“Sigh… Sigh…”
Just looking at her face, messed up with flowing tears and saliva, was enough to evoke sympathy, but there was no change in Hyunwoo’s expression.
He just calmly tells her what to do.
“Do you see the paper and pen in front of you? I brought it because you don’t seem to be able to remember by just saying it. Write down what you did wrong, how sorry you are now, and what you should do next. After seeing how sincere you are, I will decide what to do. Because.”
Hyeji looked at the A4 paper in front of her and stretched out her trembling hand.
This is an opportunity to be forgiven for your mistakes. Now that the opportunity she had longed for had come, she had to give it all she could.
“Did you ever write something like a reflection when you were in school? It doesn’t matter how long it takes, think about it carefully and write it down. Do you understand?”
“Okay, yes. I understand.”
“Then turn back. Lie down and write while looking at the bathroom wall. Start!”
Hyeji stumbled and turned her body. A white wall and even whiter paper filled the front with her eyes. In the quiet bathroom where no sound could be heard, only the sound of the crunching pen echoed.
Tiny letters fill the empty paper.
The single song written with all her might, reflecting on each word, contained her heartbreaking loyalty to her master.
She wonders how bad and inadequate she is, and how precious her brother’s love is to her.
So, her earnest plea for forgiveness was followed by her repentance for the terrible mistake she had made and her resolution for the future.
Although her writing was a bit disjointed and scattered due to her lack of writing skills, her sincerity was clearly expressed.
“Master… I wrote it all down.”
“Are you confident? Are you sure that what you just wrote is the best you can show? If you think so, give it to me, and if not, write it again. I have plenty of paper.”
Hyunwoo started by asking her question without even thinking about looking at what she had written.
A question that can only make an indecisive and spineless woman anxious.
At the very least, you may be doubting yourself whether this is the best option. Doubt will soon increase anxiety, and anxiety will soon become an indescribable fear.
As soon as I heard her words, all her actions stopped, and I couldn’t move, so I thought she might need a new paper.
Since it was an answer sheet that she only had one chance to submit, it was clear that she would never submit it unless she was sure she had written the best answers.
“… I’m sorry. I’ll write… Again.”
“So you’re saying that what you just wrote was roughly written?”
“No! I wrote it down well… No, I tried to write it down well…”
“I wrote it down, but when I look at it again, it means I can do it better, right?”
“Yes!”
Hyeji nodded her head vigorously as if that was it. She nodded so vigorously that her hips, which was facing Hyunwoo, bobbed up and down along with her shaking head.
“Then take the paper again. Didn’t I tell you? I will decide after looking at what you wrote. Do your best. So that you can feel the sincerity.”
Hyunwoo gave her a new piece of paper and tore up her old piece of paper right before her eyes.
Jji Iik – Jji Iik –
“I’ll pretend I didn’t see this, so write it down quickly. There’s no time limit, right?”
“… Yes, master.”
Hyeji hit her head again on her new piece of paper. The sound of her pen, which had been cut off for a moment, continued.
I wondered how many sheets of paper she would change as she doubted and doubted her own best.
It didn’t matter anyway. Because there was still enough paper left.
2.
How many times have I already received new paper? As she filled in her blank paper again, she felt a stiffness in her wrist.
Still, I felt like my writing speed was getting faster, so I was proud of myself for making progress.
Every time Hyeji wrote down a sentence, she chewed it over and over again and desperately came up with the next sentence.
She felt sorry for receiving more paper from her and making her brother wait any longer, so she worked hard, determined that this would be her last time.
Hyeji brainwashes herself by writing down the sentences she came up with her own hands and repeating them with her mouth.
Every sentence she wrote down echoed dozens or hundreds of times in her head.
Before you know it, a white piece of paper is filled with self-deprecation and vows of subjugation.
Since she had to show the utmost ‘sincerity’ to receive forgiveness, she only thought about how she could make her brother happier and did not consider how much of what she was writing went against common sense. 〉
In fact, I even feel fortunate. Compared to what I wrote now, my first writing was sorely lacking.
Hyeji smiles with relief and reads the shocking words that put her down again.
Although I wrote it down and read it several times, I focused on it with the mindset of doing a final review.
The phrase that started with the short words ‘I’m sorry’ went beyond capturing her eyes and gradually became a spell that bound her soul.
Because the typefaces, which were not heavy at all, no, did not even weigh as much as the tip of a hair, had suddenly become a huge mountain, crushing her personality.
Hyeji read her paper carefully, down to the last period, and handed her paper to Hyunwoo.
“Do you really think it’s the best this time? Are you confident you won’t disappoint?”
“… Yes!”
She hesitates for a moment and then says yes. She was worried about how to make her brother like it more, and she was confident because she wrote it only according to her brother’s taste.
“Okay, then take it and read it in your own voice. I’ll listen.”
“Ah… Yes! Shall we look at the wall again?”
“No, come to my feet, turn your head toward me, and lie down.”
Hyunwoo closed the lid of her toilet and called her while sitting on it.
As she lies down, holding the paper in her hand, he places his right foot on the back of her head.
“If I step on your head, I will repeat the sentence I just read clearly. If you say your pronunciation is strange or hesitate, I will step on your head.”
“Yes, master!”
Now that you have completed the instructions for recording with smooth sound quality, it is time to enjoy it.
“Then let’s start. Raise your voice.”
Hyeji cleared her throat and read her proud answer sheet out loud.
“I’m sorry. I was so stupid that I made my master angry. It wasn’t intentional, I was just so stupid. I’m a trash bitch, and I’m useless for anything other than receiving my master’s semen. So, whenever I make a mistake, please feel free to hit me and scold me. My cheeks, tits, and pussy are all yours, and I will be grateful if you spank me.”
Hyeji swallowed her saliva after reading her first paragraph.
It was written with great care, but her heart pounded at the thought of reading it in front of her brother.
Even if I were to read a pre-written speech in front of hundreds of people, I wouldn’t be more nervous than this.
Even if there are thousands or tens of thousands of spectators, not hundreds, they are people who have nothing to do with your life.
But her brother was different. He was the only audience who listened to his speech, but that audience was everything to him.
Her voice trembled at the knowledge that the piece of paper she was reading now would decide her future fate.
“Are you okay? You came up with words that I might like. It’s more than I expected, isn’t it? Don’t be nervous and keep doing it, because it’s good.”
And Hyunwoo doesn’t know her agitation.
I listened to her voice as she started to get nervous and encouraged her at the right time.
People are naturally moved by those who recognize their efforts.
Aren’t there many generals in history who sacrificed their lives for a lord who recognized them?
So now is her timing to compliment her. Let her feel proud of what she wrote after all her hard work.
It was something I had managed to complete after several attempts, and I was probably bringing it out only because I was confident, so it was much easier to internalize the content if they smiled and applauded me for a job well done.
Hyeji opened her mouth again, feeling proud that her efforts were being recognized.
“I couldn’t lick up the urine well, and I barked like a dog, but I’m sorry for forgetting. The reason I did something wrong even though I was scolded by the owner was not to make the owner feel bad, but because I was stupid. So please forgive me. If you’re not here, I’m already done. I said I would have committed suicide, but it’s true. I can’t live without you. Furthermore, I belong to you for the rest of my life, and I really, really love you.”
Even in her reflections on her mistakes, Hye-ji subtly inserts a confession of love.
In Hyunwoo’s opinion, this also didn’t seem intentional.
It’s probably because this woman’s naive and simple thinking is in a crude way, driven only by her love.
Why, doesn’t he have that kind of personality? Love, a goofy personality who lives in fantasy while singing love songs.
She was living with such a childish mentality that she was in such a bad state now, but she was still immersed in fantasy.
In the end, everything is her own fault.
“Huh… Okay, keep going.”
After briefly explaining how ugly she was and what mistakes she had made, all that was left was a promise for the future.
Hyunwoo was curious about the extent of her promise to do everything.
“So, from now on, I will do whatever the master asks me to do. I will be a cum bucket and a toilet bowl. I will also be the pet that the master keeps. No matter how hard and difficult it is, I will do my best. That’s true. If I don’t do it the first time, feel free to scold me and order it again. Please give it to me.”
“Is it over?”
“… Yes.”
“It was going well, but there was no point in the end. I guess they just lumped it together by saying they didn’t have anything specific to do and would do their best?”
“Ah… I originally wrote it all down, but I thought it would be uncomfortable to read, so it got too long… So I condensed it on purpose… I wrote it all down at first… But it’s true…”
“Okay, it’s okay, so say it now. Give an example of what the scope of whatever you have in mind is and what you can do.”
Hyeji swallowed her regret and quickly opened her mouth.
Her brother said she needed substance and specificity.
“I can receive all the urine from my vagina and anus… Oh, since I took my last birth control pill today, I can receive all the semen from my vagina starting tomorrow. Also, doggy? I saw that on the community too… I also wear the leash I ordered today. “Master, I’ll be a bitch. If you bark, I’ll bark, and if you suck, I’ll suck!”
After listening to it for some reason, it seemed like nothing more than a long stretch of what I had just said.
Hyunwoo crossed her arms and lifted her chin with his toes.
“Haven’t you done almost everything except vagina? There has to be something different. Tell me clearly what you think is acceptable and unacceptable. I don’t like to act half-heartedly.”
“Ah… Standard… Um…”
Hyeji used her dragon to get her stiff head to roll. This was a huge achievement for her, who had never written anything in her life, but her brother was asking her for something more specific.
She was the standard… She just vaguely thought she could do anything, but she didn’t have a clear standard.
As Hye-ji continued to worry, Hyeon-woo’s urgings reached her ears.
“What are you worried about? If it weren’t for me, you would have died. You said you couldn’t live without me. Are you saying everything you wrote is just nonsense? You didn’t mean it?”
“No! It’s true… It’s true. Furthermore, it’s true.”
Hyeji hastily denied Hyunwoo’s reprimand.
It was never a lie to say that her brother was more important than her life.
She loves her brother so much that she can’t breathe just thinking about him not being there.
“Then isn’t it simple? I can do everything except for something that might kill you. Even if you were prepared to die, I’m not the person who would do something to your death. Is it because you don’t trust me?”
“Ah… I believe it.”
“I believe it, but why are you hesitating?”
Hyunwoo couldn’t find a suitable answer and just watched Hyeji fidgeting with her hands.
It’s a terrible dilemma. If you say you believe, it means you can do anything except death, and if you say you don’t believe, all the reflections you just made become lies.
Hyeji can’t keep her mouth shut, perhaps because it’s not an easy choice.
Still, the fact that she was somehow contemplating an answer despite the unreasonable choice was encouraging.
In this situation, she could be led as she wanted with just a little push.
“Ha… I wasn’t going to say something like this because I felt like I was showing off with a few pennies… But when have you ever seen me shy away? I was the one who called. You said you liked the most expensive necklace, so I told you to go for that. You’re the one feeding it. I always ordered the best food. Have you ever hesitated even for a moment when you gave the money to the landlord? I don’t think it was a waste of money, but it was for you. “Why do you keep taking stock?”
Hyunwoo put pressure on her, putting the idea of giving away her inconspicuous crumbs on the same level as giving away her entire life.
A normal thinking person would have pointed out the logical error in what she had just said, but to her, accustomed to her submissiveness, it was nothing more than fuel to fuel her rationalization.
It is a rationalization that allows you to believe that this is your own decision and that it is natural to do so, even if you choose to give everything.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry for hesitating. I trust you, Master. Furthermore, I trust you all.”
“Do you really believe it? What should I do if I really believe it? Paste it on the reflection you read earlier and say it clearly. What is your standard for doing anything? Hold up the paper again.”
Hyeji unfolded her paper on the floor again.
I trust her brother. Yes, who else in this world would you trust if not your brother? The only person in the world who will be by my side is my brother.
So… This is correct. What I am about to say is definitely not wrong.
“… No matter how hard and difficult it is, I will do my best. That’s true. If I can’t do it the first time, feel free to scold me and make me do it again. I will definitely do it. So… Except for the things that will kill me… Please make me do everything. “As long as it’s not something that’s too bad… I’ll do anything.”
Hyeji closed her eyes, making up her mind.
Did a person imprisoned in the Auschwitz concentration camp really want wealth and fame?
No. For now, I just hoped to be liberated from the concentration camp where the threat to my survival lurked.
And that’s the same for Hyeji.
For her now, there was no greater threat to her survival than separation.
For the rest of her life, she did not want the wealth and fame that would accompany her brother.
For now, she knows full well that it is too greedy, so there is only one thing she wants.
Getting a chance to make up for mistakes by escaping from a situation that could lead to catastrophe at any moment.
Instead of saying it was the end of the night, my brother grabbed his belt again and whipped me.
Hye-ji continued to rationalize and desperately prayed that she would now be able to pay for her crime and thus relieve her brother of his anger.
Hyunwoo watched her close her eyes and lifted her body from the toilet she had been sitting on for a long time.
Hyunwoo picks up the belt he threw down on the floor.
Her earnest wish finally came true.
