Chapter 187 – 187. Dopamine (8)
It’s still a little early in the afternoon for dinner.
As I watch Ha-eun lying on her bed, wearing her comfortable underwear and drying her hair, she nods and blinks her eyes.
“Okay?”
“Huh? No. “I’m not sleeping, I’m not sleeping.”
“Are you sleepy already? “I wonder how tired I was the day before yesterday.”
“I’m not sleeping.”
She happened to catch it from Ha-eun, so she had to accept the sarcasm as if it were a joke.
Well, actually she didn’t do it so many times that she got tired.
She just enjoyed it for a long time, and the feeling she feels right now is far from tired.
If you ask me…
“If you’re tired, you can sleep. Because I’m a bit drowsy too.”
As Ha-eun said, it would be more appropriate to say that she is lazy.
There’s nothing more comfortable than taking a break from work during the week and spending time lying down in a soft bed.
After drying her hair and hugging her as she crawls into her blanket, I enjoy her languid mood with my whole body her her her her.
Soft bed and blanket.
A woman’s soft skin.
Fragrant body wash smell.
A bed with no discomfort whatsoever.
“It’s very quiet. “Now.”
“There’s nothing playing.”
On her bed, with nothing bothering her, I hold her lightly and listen only to the pounding of her heart.
Because there was no sound other than the regular pounding, neither slow nor fast.
Feeling her her her her body her her her relax and the vibrations of her her her her body her her her, I hold her a little tighter and smell her her her her slightly moist hair her her her.
“… “Aren’t you taking it on too openly?”
“I washed it, whatever.”
As I pressed my face to the top of her head and filled her nose with her shampoo and her scent, she grunted and stuck her head into my neck, smelling her.
She sniffed the body odor, which I couldn’t sense myself, and smelled it a few times. She exhaled deeply, placed her hand on my chest, gently caressed it, and opened her mouth.
“… “I don’t think you really smell well.”
“If you wash several times a day and it smells, that’s strange.”
“Even for something like that, it’s not that bad. To a strange degree.”
“Ordinarily, Asians don’t smell well.”
“Have you ever met a Westerner?”
“I’ve met you before. “I’ve never slept before.”
“Who have you met?”
“Mercenary brothers when playing baseball. “It was a bit like that after the game.”
In fact, there have been times when people of mixed race were categorized as Westerners, but they never said it out loud.
To be honest, I didn’t even know Hinami was mixed race until she said it herself.
There was no smell at all.
For now, Ha-eun seemed to be satisfied with my answer and sniffed my flesh a few more times before stopping. She gently turned her hand on my chest, and eventually began to tickle my nipples by pressing them with her thumbs.
“What are you doing?”
“What you usually do to me.”
“I don’t mess around like this.”
“But. “You did it this way, right?”
“Hey, it hurts.”
“It hurts, why did you do that to me?”
“It hurts… , Ah. Hey hey “Stop, stop.”
When I responded to her prank with one of her own, she gave up her intention to tickle me and started pinching me to tease me.
I can’t just let this happen to me too, so I stretch out my arms that were used as pillows for her, hug her her back, and try to place my fingers on her chest.
But it wasn’t that easy to tease her as she clung to my torso and kept rubbing against me.
“… Stop. “You just washed.”
“After doing this for a few hours, are you horny again?”
“Does it look bad?”
“Really. Are you a middle school student or a high school student? “How did you tolerate it when you were in school?”
“If you work out all day while surrounded by dozens of hot guys, your sex drive disappears.”
“… “I don’t think that’s the case with the guy who was clinging to me?”
“That’s because you are.” “If I were in the same class as you, I wouldn’t have known.”
However, it wasn’t that difficult to give her a little lift while stroking her head as she wanted to be praised.
… If I had known her earlier, from when I was a student, would her future have changed?
I don’t know.
At that time, I was also a promising prospect, but she must have been a high school girl with a golden spoon who won three gold medals in the civil service examination.
It was rather strange that the girl with that face and that chest had been clinging to her younger brother and begging her before she met me.
I didn’t give you any great advice, but it’s obvious when you look at his immediate success as a YouTuber.
If I hadn’t felt strangely sexually immature due to having a stalker in high school, I might have changed my boyfriend a long time ago.
Just like what many people imagined during the anonymous time we played together for a while during sex.
“… “If we were in the same class, would you have stalked me too?”
“I don’t do that.”
“You started stalking me after we met again. And give me alcohol.”
“That’s not stalking, that’s flirting.”
“Then, since you weren’t allowed to drink when you were young, how would you have flirted?”
“… Well? “Wouldn’t it have been better to just reveal your face and name and then contact me after you made your professional debut and advanced to the first team?”
“You might have a boyfriend, right?”
“It doesn’t really matter, does it? Whether you have a boyfriend or not. … “If you’re my age, aren’t you going to go to the military someday anyway?”
“Wow… “Were you planning on having an affair with the girl whose boyfriend was in the military?”
“I’m not cheating. Anyway, at that age, it doesn’t really matter whether you have a boyfriend or not. Because it’s going to break up anyway.”
It wasn’t important to have a relationship that would break up anyway.
Maybe that’s why I didn’t know her when she was in high school.
The reason I never heard stories about who she was pretty or who she was cute in which class was probably because I had nothing to do with them once I graduated.
At that time, I didn’t have many people in contact with my teammates on the baseball team with whom I had shared ups and downs for three years, so there was no reason to remember ordinary students whose path was completely different from mine.〈 Br〉
Maybe I’m glad I didn’t meet her when she was so sick and ugly.
A member of her baseball team, or Nana at the time, said she was stalking her.
Only her height was slightly different, but in her eyes, she would have been the same lump of takoyaki.
“… Isn’t it too romantic for a relationship that will break up anyway? If you put it that way, Hinami also just graduated from school.”
“She’s had her social life for a long time. It’s a little different. “It’s a job that leaves a mark whenever you meet someone.”
“Do you have a fetish for women who have been in society for a long time? Now that I think about it, I heard that before meeting me, I only met older people. Could it be… ? .”
“Is there such a thing? … I’m just saying that if you’re too childish, your conscience will be pricked.”
“What is he saying now. “I did all kinds of dirty things with a 20-year-old.”
“No, it’s not like that…”
In fact, no matter what I said, I couldn’t justify myself.
There is no other desire as irrational as sexual desire.
They search you if you don’t eat, they search you if you don’t sleep, but they don’t search you if you don’t have sex, right?
But why are so many people so crazy about sexual desires?
They even use condoms and birth control pills during sex, such as masturbation and all kinds of similar activities that have nothing to do with reproduction.
What is the reason… , There was no need to explain it at length.
Maybe it’s because it’s thrilling.
Scientifically speaking, dopamine explodes in the brain, putting you in a state similar to taking a drug.
“No, it doesn’t matter. … Did you see how excited you were when you and Hinami wore school uniforms the other day? “Do you think I don’t know?”
“… Since I wasn’t good at it in high school, I might feel like it’s a fantasy, right?”
“Is it a fantasy? The way I see it, I think you would have liked it just the same even if you tried it when you were in high school.”
“…”
Because it makes you feel the thrill of breaking the rules and going off the rails.
… Maybe that’s why I get more excited when I hug her.
To the extent that she is her, her relationship with her is the result of me crossing her line so far that it ruined her.
The fact that she snuggled in my arms and now skillfully seduces me is the result of something far removed from her morals and common sense.
Is it human nature to get excited the more immoral and immoral it is?
Or is it just my own preference?
“… “I’m glad I didn’t run into you when I was in high school.”
“Why?”
“If I had met you back then, I think I would have been eaten by you and abandoned.”
“How much of a human being do you think of me?”
“That’s right? The human edge. “He was making fun of my fans and got so excited earlier.”
“You did that too.”
“… “Who made her into such a woman?”
I couldn’t answer that clearly.
I was able to answer her question resolutely.
“I am.”
“… Look. “You bastard.”
I am the one who made Seo Ha-eun like this.
… I am extremely satisfied with that fact.
“Whatever. “If you liked nice guys, I wouldn’t have acted nice too.”
“I like nice guys, right? … But you’re bad, so why blame me?”
“It seems like your body likes bad men.”
“Kang Joo-hyuk, isn’t your body the only good thing in everything from your personality to your career?”
“Is it? “Being the owner of a gym isn’t such a bad job, is it?”
“It’s not even a good job, is it? “It’s not like a doctor or a lawyer.”
“So you don’t like it?”
“… I neither like it nor like it. Whatever you do.”
“…”
“Why, why do you look at me like that? Please say something too… , Hey. For a moment. You just wash… !”
Every time I see her giving me her affectionate gaze, I feel like my brain is melting.
Every time the woman who hated me so much shows affection to me, I feel like I’m going crazy with joy.
… I think I can quit this drug.
So much that I can’t even imagine.
**
This is a drug.
I feel like I’m addicted to drugs.
I was just glued to my phone during my break all day.
“…”
Neither laughing nor crying.
I just look up my name, chew the type and push it down my throat.
It was a rumor that died out overnight, but even the handful of sparks that remained too much to read alone.
There are also posts criticizing me.
Even texts praising me.
A post criticizing those who criticize me.
There are also articles criticizing those who praise me.
Countless masquerade balls.
“Under…” .”
… I don’t like everyone who attended the ball.
Why am I watching this disgusting performance all day?
What kind of fun are you having?
Because I want to refute people who say things that are completely different from the truth?
Because I want to praise people who say things that are close to the truth in their own way?
… Neither.
Why am I watching this?
No matter how much I repeated, there was only one answer.
“You idiots, really…”
… Because I want to laugh at you.
It’s so funny how kids who don’t even know the person called ‘Seo Ji-ah’ talk about whatever they want.
I find it so enjoyable to refute each and every word they say in my head and satisfy my intellectual vanity.
I couldn’t get out of this idiot’s discussion forum.
I also found it funny that they described a 20-year-old girl like a dog rag.
It was also funny to see kids treating a 20-year-old girl like a pitiful child who doesn’t know anything.
I’m not the person you think.
I just…
She’s just a bitch with a dirty personality who likes to look down on others.
I’m tired of panting just when I post a picture of myself wrapped up on Instagram,
… Now I’m secretly posting slightly loose photos on Twitter,
Watching the reactions of people who don’t even know who I am but are just turned on by something like that.
You can laugh inside without moving your lips.
She is that kind of woman.
A woman named Seo Ye-eun.
