Chapter 252 – Extraversion. Suspiciously Awkward Siblings (4)
The dull, concrete-colored summer vacation passed by in a flash.
No matter how dull or gloomy, there is always a gloomy person in the house, so it must have been contagious to me as well.
When I wake up in the morning, I always eat rice with a dying face,
By lunchtime, he has a human-like face, but
After eating, I become very sensitive, so if I turn the TV volume up a little,
While opening the door and popping out to make coffee, they show off that they are uncomfortable and send silent pressure on me.
⋯ Oh, of course this is my fault, but?
Still, I wonder what it would be like to look at him and her sister with such killing-like eyes ⋯.
Big hum.
When evening comes like that, with eyes as if he has already killed at least one person, he eats again.
Besides, sometimes after dinner, around 8 o’clock, I hear strange noises through the walls.
It makes me wonder if he died while breathing like that.
I was curious about what the human being called oppa was doing,
I tried to listen to the wall once the other day.
The sound I heard there…
‘Haa, Mr. My legs are trembling…’
⋯A person called an examinee,
It looked like he was doing a lot of exercise.
That person plays very well alone.
Except for studying a little at home and rolling around during the vacation, I didn’t do anything special.
I think I had a less drab vacation than my older brother who stayed at home and studied and exercised over and over again.
⋯ Eight,
Is it already ruined at the point of comparison with high school 3?
When I was young, I remembered that my cousin often talked about the need to enjoy youth.
But…
Do I have no friends?
Of course, we just eat together,
I have at least some friends I go with when I go home from school.
However, there is nothing I can call a friend that I can call out on the initiative.
Originally, there was, but that…
Should I have lost my hand?
Should I say he ran away?
I was fed up with that troublesome emotional battle that I couldn’t figure out exactly what was the problem, so I got out of it.
Still, it’s because I’m shy, it’s not that I can’t speak, so how can I find a new friend to eat with?
⋯You should have time to get to know each other in many ways.
Half a year is too short for me.
Even with the kids I’ve been close to since elementary school, I haven’t been that open about it.
It must be that the guard of my heart is that hard.
Whether the opponent is a friend,
Either family.
“Ha-am, good morning, Mom.”
“Oh, my daughter. Are you awake already?”
“Huh.”
“Sit down and eat. It’s the beginning of school.”
After all, for the remaining half of junior high school, which has no choice but to spend quietly,
I decided to wake up earlier than my older brother on the first day of school.
I heard that my older brother also says that school starts on Monday.
Maybe today, I might leave the house at the same time.
⋯ I don’t really want it.
“Good night.”
“Oh, son. You eat too.”
“Um…”
As I sat down, my older brother walked out as usual with dying eyes, grabbed his forehead and sat down across from me.
Then, when he found me, his sharp eyes widened as if he was slightly startled.
⋯Hey, it’s true that your sister sleeps a lot.
Still, sometimes I wake up earlier than you, right?
“⋯Why?”
“Uh, no.”
She put on a displeased expression and showed off her displeasure to her brother, and then quickly shook her head, as if realizing that she was being rude.
⋯Yes,
I think it’s very awkward communication for a sibling match.
That’s why it’s more awkward to pretend to be friendly.
It’s strange to forcefully pretend to be bad.
My brother and sister seem to have just the right amount of distance.
“Come on, scrambled eggs. It’s hot, so let it cool down before eating.”
“Yes.”
“Thank you for this food.”
While that terrifying-looking older brother ate steamed eggs, I ate fried anchovies,
While my brother ate stir-fried pork this time, I ate a spoonful of slightly cooled steamed egg.
Even if we don’t talk, we care about each other and live at that level of distance.
This is just right
It’s a bit awkward to say, but
It’s comfortable in many ways if you don’t talk.
“⋯.”
⋯ Maybe that’s why,
Those tired-looking eyes,
Rather than being frightened at any moment,
I started thinking more about how pitiful I looked.
Well, the fact that my brother looks scared may be a semantic prejudice.
It’s not like that person has ever scolded me.
Are you just being a little sensitive?
On top of that, I’m old enough for my age…
And look grown up,
He’s tall and has a strong impression, so he just looks scary.
Come to think of it now,
I think there is a feeling that I was too awkward with my brother.
⋯I don’t think it would have been bad if we had been a little closer.
If you watch dramas or novels, there are things like that.
Fighting fiercely,
My older brother who always buys me food.
“⋯Why?”
“Ah, yes. No.”
This time, because I looked at my brother so much, there was a short Q&A that was the opposite of before.
⋯Anyway, it seems unreasonable to expect such a kind brother from such a blunt human being.
In the first place, if my brother changes like that, I think chicken will grow all over my body.
Anyway.
Since I’ve been shutting myself in my house all through the vacation, I keep getting random thoughts.
Since the only people I meet are my mom and my brother, I only think of my brother and my mother.
⋯Should I go to high school soon?
It’s comfortable to just spend time without close friends,
If I live like this all the time, even after 10 or 20 years, I might still be living with my mom and brother.
Because I don’t like that
In the end, that means I have to grow up too.
“⋯.”
⋯Still, it’s too bad to rot from fatigue like that human being.
What to do
My life.
Genetically, I’m not going to be like that.
***
“”I’m coming…””
Together with my older brother, who had two letters of “Fatigue” Written on his forehead, we left the house together after almost a year.
The reason is, there is no particular reason.
We went out at the same time, but it’s more awkward to go out separately because we have to postpone the time.
I follow my brother’s back as he steps outside the front door ahead of me, and I take steps at a certain distance from each other.
“⋯.”
The middle school uniform I wore in a month is uncomfortable in many ways because it is subtly stuffy.
Have you already gained weight in that short amount of time?
I didn’t eat that much during vacation…
Maybe it’s because I’m tall.
⋯Well, because my mother always said that women grow the most in this age group.
It must be like that.
As I continued to work on my tight-fitting clothes, my older brother, who seemed to have a wider stride than me, had already widened his distance and was standing in front of a crosswalk.
I thought about whether I should run and follow him, but I quit thinking that if I did, I would become a younger brother following my older brother.
As I slowly moved my steps behind my brother, the signal changed just in time, and I was able to cross the crosswalk maintaining the same distance as before.
I tried to follow him at a brisk pace, but this time I didn’t have to because my brother was walking a little slower.
“⋯Winter.”
“Huh?”
Then when I crossed the crosswalk,
My brother suddenly stood on the sidewalk block, turned his head around and started talking to me.
⋯What happened?
Although we are walking together
It’s not like we go to school together.
“Do you want to drink coffee?”
“⋯ Huh?”
“I’m sleepy. Stop by the convenience store.”
And my brother pointed to a convenience store right in front of him, and he was implicitly asking if he would buy me a coffee.
⋯Aha, this person.
He just wants to drink coffee.
I can see it just by looking at it.
Going into the convenience store by myself, leaving my younger brother alone, must have been a little stabbed by my conscience.
“Eh, yes.”
“⋯Follow me. I’ll buy you one.”
I wonder what an older brother who buys coffee for his little sister who is only 3rd in middle school in the morning.
She secretly drinks at home anyway without her mother’s knowledge, so she believes there will be no problem.
As I followed my brother, he pointed at me with a coffee with a straw, not a canned coffee.
“Do you like sweets?”
“Huh.”
“⋯Then I’ll buy you this. I drink this.”
My brother took a sweet coffee to buy for me, and he took a black coffee for himself to drink.
He goes to the counter, swipes out his transit card, and puts a cup of coffee in my hand.
But, something…
Is it because of the way you pretend to be cool?
With an indescribable sense of rejection, the chicken meat keeps coming up.
That’s why I can’t rub my forearm right behind my brother, so I pretend that nothing is wrong and trudge after him to the bus stop.
⋯Why are you doing that, that person.
Something is strange today.
“Have a good day at school.”
“Ah… Yes.”
Arriving at his destination, my brother stuffs the unopened coffee into his pocket and gestures at me to see me off.
⋯ But why?
Is it because of those strange eyes that seem to contain all the fatigue?
For some reason, I didn’t fall easily.
I don’t know exactly why… Or why.
My brother’s eyes look very sad.
“⋯Me, over there. Brother.”
“Uh?”
“Oh, that… Cheer up…?”
“⋯?”
Maybe you didn’t understand what I said out of a little bit of anxiety,
My brother tilts his head and poses as if he is talking to me.
⋯Thanks to that posture, for some reason, my feet, which had not been able to fall, naturally fell.
“⋯Hi.”
“Oh, yes. Hi.”
Leaving behind my brother who awkwardly waved his hand, I slowly walked toward the school.
⋯ Oh, really.
You’re scaring people.
Mr.⋯.
If you’re going to be stressed, take it in moderation.
Go around loosening up your face a bit, huh?
Ha⋯.
I’m surprised, really.
Because you look like that
Mr. A.
