Chapter 249 – Extraversion. Suspiciously Awkward Siblings (1)
It was a midsummer night when the slightest movement of the body seemed to make you sweat even though the air conditioner was on.
I sprawled out on the floor where the fan spins, and I greet the cool breeze while staring at the TV with my head swiveled.
Hey, it’s finally the weekend.
It’s been a while since the final exams were over.
Next week is finally vacation.
Will I be a high school student in a few months?
Now, if I finish the last semester, the only thing left will be graduation.
For some reason, the word high school student doesn’t come to me very well.
Is it because the real high school student closest to me looks much more mature than me?
On the frowning face every day.
Indifferent tone every day.
That energyless gait, as if saying, ‘I’m a senior in high school~’.
I’m not particularly close, but I’m so used to that unique person who pretends to be uncharacteristic,
I think I can draw without looking now.
I’m not good at drawing, but I mean.
“I’m back⋯.”
As soon as I think of that person in my head at the right moment, as if I had read my thoughts, I trudged and walked into the front door with my shoulders drooping.
Startled by the sound of the door opening, I quickly tidy up my clothes, sit quietly on the floor, and greet the person who has returned home.
Ah, I didn’t correct my posture to look good.
⋯I was lying down showing my belly button.
No matter how big your opponent is,
It looks like that, a little bit.
I am ashamed to say it with my own mouth,
⋯It is unacceptable for a delicate girl’s sensibility.
“⋯.”
I think that all younger sisters who have older brothers will understand why there are no answers like ‘Have you been home?’ Or ‘Hello brother’.
It’s not bad enough to fight,
We’re not close enough to fight.
A simple handshake.
“⋯Haa⋯.”
My brother came back sweating profusely, glanced at me, waved his hand in the same way, and went back to his room.
And the end.
That’s all for today’s amount of communication.
We often run into each other when we wash up or when we eat, but we don’t care too much about each other.
What could be called a conversation between brother and sister is rare enough to count on one hand.
At this point, I think it’s not brother and sister, but a man and a woman, but I don’t think it’s particularly uncomfortable.
My brother probably thinks the same.
A little sister who listens well and doesn’t bother looking at her.
She’s my real sister, but it’s kind of strange to say that she’s treated like that.
Anyway.
Between such a grave.
“Haa… I’m sleepy…”
While squatting down and eating the wind from the fan with my mouth open, I spit out an echoed voice like an elementary school student.
⋯Me too, what is the soon-to-be high school student doing?
She suddenly feels sorry for herself, puffs up her cheeks, turns off her fan, and jumps on the couch.
If her mom sees it, she’ll definitely do something, but since I’m still light, it’ll be okay.
Although she is now as tall as her mother ⋯, she is a mentally immature girl, so in a sense she is no different from a feather.
Fluttering like pure white feathers is the mindset of a girl like me.
There is something poetic about it, but if I briefly express my youthful inner wandering, I can write it down in 8 characters.
“⋯I don’t want to go to high school.”
I don’t want to go to high school.
I don’t like to study.
Bothered.
Ah, it would be nice if I could live as a middle school student for the rest of my life.
Middle 3 is just right.
As long as you are moderately sincere, adults won’t say anything.
A bit stupid
Idiot?
Those kids are starting to come to their senses one by one.
Even a kid like me who doesn’t make many friends, just eats with the kids I know.
Thanks to that, I don’t have to stress as a friend.
The school is also close.
It’s really comfortable.
Is there no such thing as a drug that does not age?
Jump.
“⋯.”
While she was lost in her daydreaming, her brother burst out of the room and went into the bathroom with his clothes.
It looks like it’s glancing at me, but it doesn’t look like it’s showing much emotion.
Emotions, I don’t feel humanity before that.
Rather than a person… A machine?
Part?
Ah, the cogs look the best.
All the fatigue in the world, the eyes that seem to have it all.
We’re not very close, but I think it’s my brother’s fault that I’ve become so cynical.
Oppa always had that kind of personality, but that silent attitude only got worse after entering high school.
I’m sure it wasn’t like that until I lived with my grandmother.
It’s to the point where I’m not sure when I’ve had a conversation with that person that was more than a short answer.
“⋯Poor you.”
I slam the bathroom door shut, and as the sound of the shower comes out softly, words of sympathy for my brother escape from my mouth.
Is being a high school senior that hard?
If I go into high school and get hit here and there because of the CSAT, will I become that kind of person?
Even though I think I don’t really want such a future,
My appearance, naturally growing into a high school student like an older brother,
I could easily imagine.
Her hair is loosely tied, her eyes half dead, and she trudging through home and school with her backpack.
Every time I think of myself like that, for some reason, a part of my heart throbs with pain.
I’m sure the school days I saw in books and cartoons were very fresh and lively.
Why did my brother and I start and end the story in the corner of the room, let alone fresh?
⋯No no, I’m not cool yet.
I repeat home and school every day, but I have my own balance between rest and study, right?
Even if I die, I don’t want to live a school life like that person who gritted his teeth and studied.
I’m going to hang out with my friends more and spend my high school life with various encounters.
I don’t even have the thought of studying for the entrance exam as gloomy as my older brother.
So, when I was in high school, I would have a boyfriend⋯.
“⋯Ha, it’s cool⋯.”
By the time I was waving my bobbed hair and dreaming of a lively school life in the future,
My brother dried his hair with a towel and slipped out of the bathroom wearing shorts and shorts.
Steam was pouring out of the bathroom, probably because it was washed with hot water in this hot weather.
My brother’s face, reddened by the warmth, draws my attention as it repeats being covered with a towel and then exposed.
Let’s stare at it indifferently,
My brother speaks to me first with a questioning expression.
“⋯Why?”
“⋯ Huh?”
“Do you have something to say?”
Communication beyond today’s limits.
Of course, I have nothing to say to my brother.
It’s just… It smells like soap.
The scent led her eyes to that direction.
There was no other reason other than that.
Just.
It seems difficult to explain what
“⋯Oh, no.”
“Oh yeah.”
Seeing my brusque answer, my brother seemed to agree and brushed his hair to find a hair dryer.
I deliberately turn my eyes to the TV, and instead of watching my brother rummage through the drawers, I focus on the inaudible chatter of celebrities.
⋯That’s strange.
I must have been thinking about something a while ago, but I can’t remember at all.
What was it
Dinner⋯, it’s been a long time since I had dinner.
Lie down and watch TV.
My brother is back
It looked difficult, so I thought I didn’t want to go to high school.
And,
And⋯.
“Oh right. Boy friend.”
As I clap my hands, I flash back to what I was daydreaming about.
Yes, when I went to high school, I was looking forward to a life full of youthful scent.
However, because I remembered what I forgot,
I spit it out of my mouth in an excited voice,
My brother, who was looking for a hair dryer in the drawer under the TV, turned his head to look at me.
He asks me back with a face full of question marks in his eyes.
“⋯Boyfriend?”
“⋯ Huh?”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
An unexpected question.
However, when I raised my eyes and thought about it, it was so easy to understand why my brother asked such a question.
⋯ Stupid, stupid.
What if you spit that out of your mouth?
Her face flushed red at the fact that her brother caught her delusion, and a feeling of shame that could not be relieved flooded her whole body.
⋯Calm down, calm down.
It’s a lie, a lie.
My brother didn’t notice that I was daydreaming in the first place.
‘What? Does he have a boyfriend?’.
“Oh, no no no. Just talking about friends.”
“Friend?”
“My friend said she had a boyfriend, it suddenly came to my mind.”
“⋯Really?”
“Huh.”
To me who blushed and answered calmly,
My brother really didn’t show any doubt, and he roughly understood,
He took out the hair dryer and went back to his room.
I let out a long sigh while sweeping my chest, which was beating slightly faster.
⋯ Phew. I almost got treated like a weirdo for no reason.
Whatever my brother thinks, it has nothing to do with me,
If you look at me strangely and even hint at me, you’ll get into a lot of trouble.
How did you get over it with an excuse that wasn’t a lie?
Ha ha, thirsty, really.
Passing over my slightly heated forehead, I jump up and drink cold water from the water purifier.
“Pu-huh… Ha.”
I feel her heart calm down a little and feel the cold water tingle.
⋯ Boyfriend.
It’s a word that came out naturally when I thought about the fresh school days that fit this age group.
When I put it in my mouth, I can’t explain clearly what the hell it means.
In other words, a lover or lover…
Hmm.
What is it?
It’s ambiguous to call them friends, but among the kids we had lunch with, there were a few kids with boyfriends.
If you remember what they were excited about…
I don’t know.
Date?
It’s a date, well, it’s a date.
I know that.
Does dating make everyone a lover?
If you go to and from school with a member of the opposite sex, do they all become lovers?
If we exchange sweet things on Valentine’s Day or White Day, do we all become lovers?
Hmmm⋯.
Is it because I’m an adult that I can’t figure it out?
Or maybe he’s too innocent for a soon-to-be high school student, and he still doesn’t know that.
Or is it that I am stupid?
I can’t differentiate.
Oh, I don’t know.
I don’t know the answer.
Until I got into a relationship someday.
⋯Do you want to start dating when you go to high school?
But, I’m going to high school.
It’s the same building as the boys’ high school that my brother goes to.
In order to date there, do I have to go out with the teacher at least?
If the age gap is too big, that’s the case.
⋯ Or a male high school student who lives in the same building?
Mmm⋯,
I don’t like people of the same age or younger.
Stupid,
Stupid
Too immature
Senior…
Not like my brother
With a drooping figure like an older brother,
I would walk around struggling, exhaling the stress of taking the exam.
Although I might feel pity for such a person, I didn’t think I would feel love.
And how could I be attracted to someone,
Even if you say you’re dating.
Will he graduate earlier than me?
Do normal people change when they go to college?
It is also a place where everyone decorates.
⋯Hmmmm, so, over there.
I’m ashamed to say it.
I would like that…
Because we aim for one for one.
I can’t just give my first love to a guy I’ve known for a year or two at most.
There is no trust, no trust.
I can’t believe it.
I don’t even trust my classmates.
Ha⋯.
⋯If you had childhood friends like comics or novels, you would have liked it.
Rather, I think I grew up seeing all the foolish things, so I don’t think I even felt the letter ‘yeon’ of love.
I don’t know.
In the end, my high school life left in my imagination after much thought and thought,
Just like my older brother, I wrapped my head around the exam,
It was me in the dark corner of the room.
I don’t like it.
Really.
