Chapter 190 – 190. Funerals
Before I knew it, I was at an age where my gray hair would be gray.
It wasn’t a very good parent-child relationship, but I can’t help but feel heartbroken.
I do not even hear the pouring down of sleep, so I sit in a daze and fall into silence.
⋯I cried yesterday and I will cry tomorrow too.
It’s been a long time since midnight, so I’m going to have to hit it today.
I wanted to burn the cigarette I had quit, but I couldn’t bring myself to think about my father.
Instead, the smell of grinding the incense that was inserted adds to the heart.
If you are eighty, you have lived a long time.
Since you are a church member, you must have gone to heaven.
Rest in peace there, Father.
I’m sorry for spoiling you so much.
“Your brother John?”
“Who are you?”
Just as I was about to cry calmly, a face as if I hadn’t seen you in a very long time burst into the funeral home.
Cousins who suddenly disappeared as soon as they graduated from college.
It was surprising that my second aunt reunited and immigrated so quickly, but I was a little disappointed that they also flitted across the water without saying a word.
Even if you don’t know the winter, I raised autumn on my back.
Even if it’s the end of taking me to the taekwondo gym when I was young.
“Hello.”
“It’s fall and winter. Why at this time…”
Of course, I know why he secretly came here at dawn.
I’ve never been told anything in particular, and no one else has ever told me, but I can’t know.
“He came right on our plane. I only heard about it for a while.”
“You should have come when it was bright. Everyone is sleeping.”
“⋯It’s a bit like meeting my relatives. You don’t have to turn on the lights. “
“⋯Yes. That’s right.”
Even if I didn’t commit a crime, it wasn’t something I could show off proudly.
It’s not something I’m saying because I couldn’t show my grandchildren until my father passed away.
“First of all, incense…”
“Ah. First, lay offerings, then burn incense. You are a church member.”
“Ah, yes yes.”
Set flowers, put incense, and raise cultivation.
After praying for my uncle, who probably didn’t have a very good memory for them, they greet me and sit down for a while.
“It’s been a while, both of you.”
“We can’t go to the sergeant, we only go to the investigation. We shouldn’t see each other often.”
“Baby, how old are you, why haven’t you aged at all? Did I secretly eat something good?”
Ga-gae was 7 years older than me?
Then he must be in his mid-40s, but unlike me, he doesn’t have gray hair and his skin is fine, so I’m a little envious.
Bastard, every year at the beginning of the year, I ate all the good things by myself.
“It’s because the Vancouver air is good.”
“Are you American?”
“I am American, and Winter is Canadian. I just moved again.”
It’s a world without borders, but it was so strange to see them live.
Everyone knew that we were living together, but he said that he was going to do something because he got his nationality separately.
I guess I could guess why.
“Autumn, what are you doing these days?”
“Hey… I’m busy looking for a new job. ⋯What is your brother doing?”
“I am too busy working. In this day and age, 50 is still in full swing.”
“Well, if you’re 50 these days, you’re on the young side.”
“Oh, winter. What are you doing?”
“⋯ These days, I take a break from work and raise my children. Jeon.”
⋯ Cubs.
How can you buy it better than expected?
Even when I said I was going to immigrate, I sighed deeply because I was worried about Anna.
I’m glad you’re living a good life though.
“I should have told you if I had a child. I wish I could have sent you a present.”
“Hey, how do you say it? This.”
“You can tell me and Anna, even if no one else knows. Where are you going to talk about, we?”
“Well, what. Because they are my brother and sister.”
The three of them laugh silently so as not to wake up their mother, younger brother, and housekeeper who are sleeping inside.
Even when I noticed, I wondered why they were doing this.
Seeing them live happily, I think I was worrying for nothing, so I feel a little ashamed of myself back then.
How come you live better than me?
I can’t even imagine how much trouble and hardship it must have been for me to live like that, but I’m glad that I’m happy even now.
No matter how much the heavenly rules are violated.
It’s not something I would say, since I didn’t have children with my wife.
“Do you have a picture of him? Can you show me?”
“Oh, wait.”
He takes out his cell phone, which hasn’t changed much as of now, and points it at me.
Two cute angels stuck in the background.
⋯Two people?
“⋯They are twins. He’s my sister he’s the younger brother I go to elementary school these days.”
“⋯I must have put in some effort to raise it, hey.”
“Raising two people isn’t twice as hard, it’s four times as hard.”
Even though Kim Gyeo-ryeol had a face that showed no signs of hardship, even if she hadn’t experienced how difficult it is to raise a child, I could tell very well.
My house also raises dogs and cats, and it’s money and time, and it’s incredibly broken.
However, no matter how hard it is, once you see aegyo, the hardships will all go away, so you don’t even think that you raised it for nothing, that’s life.
“Anyway, both seem to be doing well. ⋯I met my aunt yesterday, and she corrected me. So does my aunt.”
“These days, he said he was traveling, so he went around here and there, and he became lively.”
“When I’m 70, I should take my wife and go abroad. Because I made a lot of money.”
When I retire… I will have to take my wife and mother with me.
I wish my father would have lived another 50 years.
I hated him so much when he was alive, but it’s amazing that I miss him now that he’s gone.
“Ugh. If you talk more, people will wake up. Thanks for coming, you can go back.”
“Yes yes. Ah, a little money.”
“Just give it to me. I’ll take care of it.”
“Yep.”
“Even when I go back to Canada, I keep in touch often. Winter calls you and Anna often. He’s always looking for you.”
“Yes.”
“Go in with caution~”
After returning the mourners who had sneaked in late at night safely, I sat down and immersed myself in silence again.
⋯ Father.
Because everyone here lives well,
May your father live well in heaven too.
I will live with the person from that house for another 70 years and follow you.
***
“Ha… Did you come too late?”
“It’s like that when I see my eldest aunt’s face again.”
“It is.”
“I’m glad you look fine though. Cousin.”
“Only on the outside, you’re fine, on the inside you’re going to cry. Even my cousin brother.”
After exchanging regards with his cousin for a while, he trudged out of the funeral home.
⋯ My mother will be seventy soon.
These days, even in the era of living to be 100 years old, when you get sick all over the place.
You’re still walking around briskly.
“Brother.”
“Why are you hungry? Would you like some rice?”
“No no. ⋯Let’s walk for a while. We.”
Hand in hand, we walked down the dark streets at dawn, staring blankly at the beating moonlight.
I think the kids are sleeping well at the main house.
Still, it’s fortunate that my mother and father are in Korea.
If it hadn’t been for you, one of the two wouldn’t have come to condolences.
“⋯Time goes by so fast. Brother.”
“I know.”
“I am forty now. In terms of Korean age.”
“I don’t live in Korea, so I’m roughly in my 30s.”
“Will that be good?”
“Looking at you, you’re still in your 20s.”
“Again, I only say things that have been applied to my mouth. Brother.”
Still, he stares at Gye-gyeol, who can be regarded as a 20-year-old with empty words, and strokes her hair inappropriately for her age.
A little sister who is still cute, lovable, and cuddly.
After 10 more years, will this heart cool down a little?
⋯If you can’t do it in a day at the age of 40, you won’t be able to cool it down if you do it twice.
I think I do it more often because I do it when the kids aren’t home.
“But, where are we going? If you keep going like this, it will be the old room.”
“Is there a new building there? The last time I came, I looked for it.”
“Okay?”
“Huh. A lot of time has passed.”
40 years of living together with Winter.
20 years of loving each other with Winter.
The period of living as her partner in life has become longer than the time spent as her brother and sister.
Twins weren’t in the plan, but I had kids.
So far, there are no problems, and she is living well as the father and mother of her children.
Will you notice someday when the kids’ hair gets thicker?
I changed her nationality without even noticing, and I talked to her mother and got it all done.
These days, when you have kids, you can’t even call them mom.
Call me mother
“⋯Winter.”
“Yes, brother.”
“There’s a hotel over there, so let’s take a little rest. It’s annoying to catch a taxi.”
“⋯What is it? Are you flirting with me?”
“Why am I teasing you? You twisted everything 20 years ago.”
When the two of them are together, they are still called oppa, but when they have children, they are now listening to the father of the children.
Maybe it was because I was so used to the title oppa, I liked winter calling me oppa more than winter calling me daddy.
It was winter when I was really sensitive and irritable when I was raising my kids, but as soon as the kids went to sleep, I became the winter I knew again.
It was heartwarming to see him being infinitely strict with the kids, but infinitely withdrawn towards me.
A good mother, a good wife.
Too much for me.
“When the kids wake up, they won’t be anxious without me and my older brother. I have to go back, though.”
“Are you okay. Kids love grandma more than us. Her grandmother makes a lot of delicious food.”
“⋯Are you jealous of your kids?”
“I’ve been jealous since you were pregnant. Since the kids have entered elementary school, I’m going to take it back. It’s mine, it’s mine.”
“To the subject that treats you as your own every day.”
Gradually, the children have reached the age where they go to school and grow up on their own, and if you guide them in the right way educationally, they will grow up to be great people on their own.
So now it’s time to get her mother back as her sister.
I want to hug you more before I grow old.
You are beautiful no matter how old you are,
After 10 years, I’ll become a little boy and a grandfather, so I won’t be able to use my strength as much as I do now.
“I came after paying my annual leave anyway. I have to go play with the kids for a week, so let’s go to a hotel and rest for today.”
“Okay. Call my mom…”
“You can’t. I said it before I came out.”
So don’t waste this passing time and cherish it.
More at any moment.
I want to love you
“⋯My brother is going to condolences, do you think that? Are you pervert?”
“It’s not like that. It’s been a while since I came to Korea, so the two of us wanted to talk. I order chicken too.”
“You sound like chicken. Where are you doing chicken at this hour?”
Every day.
Building memories with you without rest.
For the day that will someday become old and dull,
Let’s build up a lot of things to talk about.
“Why not? Isn’t this Canada? Did you forget everything because you don’t live in Korea?”
“Oh really. I don’t know. ⋯Let’s go quickly and rest. I am tired too.”
“Really? Are you really tired?”
“Your brother is going to make me tired again! ⋯If you want to get up early tomorrow, you better go early.”
With you.
Forever.
With memories with you
“Okay. Let’s hurry.”
“Is it just once? ⋯I don’t know tomorrow morning, but do I have to do it just once today?”
“If you don’t beg me.”
“I’m afraid I’ll doze off.”
“Aren’t you more active than me these days? I can taste what is being done above you…”
“Ah! Really. What are you talking about on the street at dawn! Be quiet!”
“Why. There is no one around.”
“It’s noisy, really. The younger club…”
“Aww!”
For filling my life
Thank you winter
Love you.
Love.
My little brother.
Winter Kim.
