Chapter 626 – Serious Conversation
As the story progressed, I became more and more absorbed. A person with ambitions much greater than oneself.
Her ambition to succeed, several times greater than her own, was enough to make Yuanna’s heart flutter.
It probably started around this time. Unlike other interviewees who always had formal conversations, I felt curiosity on a human level.
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“The food has arrived.”
“Thank you.”
When we heard that food was ready, Yuanna and I started eating in an awkward atmosphere.
Looking at this situation, it seemed like she already knew what I was going to say today.
Yuanna is a person with ability. She is quick to sense other people’s thoughts and quickly finds out what her partner wants.
She must have already guessed what I was going to say today.
‘I’m sorry.’
She is such a nice woman to me, but it bothers me that she has to say bad things to me.
She didn’t think much of it at first, but after breaking up with Han Ye-ryeong, she realized her importance even more.
“How is work these days?”
“I’m really busy. I get calls from all over the place, so I’m really busy.”
“You like that kind of thing, right?”
“Okay, I’m so happy now, although not as happy as when I first met you.”
She is a thoughtful person. Even though he knows what I’m going to say today, he still says nice things.
The reason she deliberately brought up the story of when she first met me was probably to make me happy.
I wouldn’t have known it before, but maybe because we’ve known each other for a long time, I was able to understand it right away.
At the time I was thinking about how to start talking, thinking that I was such a nice woman.
“Jinseok.”
Yuanna looked at me with her serious face and spoke to me.
“Yes, sister.”
When you look at me with such a serious face, I think I know what you are talking about.
Originally, I wanted to go to the hotel and have a serious conversation, but the other person spoke first, so I had to answer.
“My sister, Jinseok likes you so much.”
“I like you too, sister…”
“So to be honest, I always thought that I wanted to monopolize you, and that you would only look at me instead of sharing it with Se-yeon.”
“…”
What could I say when she said that? I kept my mouth shut and listened to her words.
“But do I know? “It means that you are a person who cannot be satisfied with just one woman.”
“I’m sorry…”
“To be honest, I have a hard time understanding what Se-yeon is saying. Since I can’t satisfy my boyfriend’s sexual desires, I have to understand him even if he has a relationship with another woman… These are very difficult words for me, as you are my first man.”
“…”
Yuanna, who had quietly followed my wishes until now, now speaks like this, and I feel uneasy.
I wonder if she’s leaving me because of this, or if she’s grown tired of me even though she’s someone I can’t live without.
For me, who had experienced the pain of separation once when I broke up with Han Ye-ryeong, breaking up was a scary thing.
“Sexual desire… I may not be able to satisfy it, but is that why you allow me to have a relationship with another woman? “Every time I think about that, I feel so frustrated and sick here.”
“I’m sorry…”
All I could say to Yuanna, who pointed to her own breast and said it was tight and painful, was an apology.
“If you tell me you love me and think that you’re saying this to other women, things won’t go well, right?”
“…”
“It’s so hard every time I think about what you’re doing while you’re working, or whether you’re whispering love to another woman.”
Even if there are ten mouths, there is nothing to say. She didn’t do anything wrong. Because everything happened because of my greed.
It’s all my fault. She’s frustrated and having a hard time because of me.
Seeing Yuanna speaking quite seriously, I stopped eating and listened to her story.
“But… I was thinking that if I was having a hard time, Jinseok, you might be having a hard time too.”
“That’s…”
“So I tried to understand you, what would it be like if I were you, would it be really difficult?”
There is a saying called Yeokjisaji. Thinking about other people’s situations and applying them to your own.
Yuanna tried to understand Lee Jin-seok like that.
But.
She couldn’t understand. I don’t have much dating experience. She was someone who was far from dating, so that she could confidently say that Lee Jin-seok was her first man.
Could she really understand the feelings of the person she was dating?
Of course, she could understand to some extent, but she would not be able to understand completely. No matter how much you think from someone else’s perspective, everyone is different.
“It was difficult. It was completely incomprehensible to me, who had no experience. Couldn’t I just be satisfied? I just need you.”
Time continued to pass like that. It was difficult for her after finding out that Lee Jin-seok had three legs.
I was so shocked by the fact that the man I liked women other than me and was having a relationship with another woman without my knowledge.
To be honest, even in her situation at that time, there were no options for her.
I was just guided by Lee Se-yeon’s words and gave permission without hesitation, but I always had a feeling of regret in a corner of my heart.
“I wish I hadn’t known, I wish I hadn’t gone that day, have you ever thought of things like this?”
“…”
Every word Yuanna says breaks my heart. Everything happened because of my greed.
I was so sorry to hear that the woman I loved felt heartbroken and regretful because of that.
“Why are you making that face? “It’s really hard for me.”
“Ah…”
After hearing Yuanna’s words, I raised her hand and checked her own face.
What kind of expression am I making right now that makes her look so sad?
I’d rather be angry. The way she spoke calmly about her pain made me feel as if my heart had been pierced with an awl.
‘… ! Can not be done. It’s all my fault.’
As soon as it occurred to me, even for a moment, that she was displeased with me, I quickly came to her senses.
To me, this feeling is a luxury. Why am I dissatisfied with the victim just because I did something good?
“I’m so sorry, sister…”
“I didn’t start this to hear that apology.”
When I bowed my head and apologized sincerely, Yuanna shook her head and said to me:
“I already knew you were having a relationship with another woman.”
“Yeah…”
“You must have been seeing other women besides me, right? The reason we’re meeting now is to talk about that.”
“That’s right…”
“Really, don’t you think that’s selfish? “I’m only looking at you, but you’re looking at other women besides me.”
“…”
“How many times have you thought about breaking up? “I’ve thought countless times about whether I would feel better if we broke up.”
As Yuanna continued to speak, I felt the pain of my heart tightening.
It feels like someone is holding my heart in their hands and telling me to feel the same pain as my sister.
Is this pain my sister suffered? Did I give my sister this much trouble?
As I thought about that, the pain I felt in my heart grew bigger and bigger.
Yuanna looked at me like that for a moment and then stretched out her hand and grabbed my face.
“But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t help it. I was so scared that the pain of breaking up with you would be much greater than the pain of that time.”
“… “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have sex with other women, right?”
“…”
She’s right. I had no intention of letting go of the slaves I was already in a relationship with.
Joo Hye-young, who is pregnant, Joo-eun Lee, who first became my slave and gave everything, Cynthia, who will now lose the meaning of life without me, etc.
If I give up on them now, it would be the same as doing something terrible.
I feel sorry for Yuanna, but I couldn’t give up on them.
‘I’m such a bastard.’
I already knew I was trash, but hearing what she said made me even more trash than that.
“I still don’t like it. I wish you would break up with other women and only focus on me.”
“Sister…”
“I know, that’s impossible. As much as you love me, don’t you feel the same way about other people?”
“That’s right.”
What Yuanna said is correct. Slaves who exist simply to satisfy my sexual desires.
Do those slaves think that I am just a sex slave?
When I thought about it seriously, it wasn’t at all. After being in a relationship for a long time, I developed feelings for them.
Although I don’t love her girlfriends Lee Se-yeon or Yuanna, I do love them.
Yuanna, who was looking at me intently, sighed and continued her words.
“Ha… What can I do? The person I like first will suffer the loss.”
After saying that, Yuanna said, stretching her cheeks with her hands holding my face.
“I really hate losing money. I hate it so much that when I lose money, I think about it for days on end.”
-Gulp
She pinched my cheek to the point where I felt a little pain and said to me with a slight smile.
“Jinseok. “Do you really love me?”
“Ugh, Sarah…”
Without hesitation, I answered her questions as she continued without letting go of the ball.
My love for Yuanna is sincere. I love her with all my heart more than any of her other slaves.
I love her so much that I never want to let her go, even though I realize that she is such trash.
Now Yuanna is a part of my life. She didn’t want to imagine her life without him.
“My sister loves you so, so much, so much that she can tolerate it even if she knows that you are in relationships with other women.”
After speaking, Yuanna let go of her hand that was holding her cheek and stood up.
“Let’s talk properly, you made a hotel reservation, right?”
“Yes, I made a reservation.”
“Let’s talk properly there.”
It seemed like the end was coming, but when Yuanna suddenly told me to go to the hotel and talk, I came to my senses and followed after her after finishing the payment.
———————
We didn’t exchange a single word while getting in the car and arriving at the hotel we had booked.
Although the situation of silence was uncomfortable, I did not make the mistake of foolishly opening my mouth.
I parked my car, announced my reservation name in the lobby, and entered the assigned room.
When I got inside, Yuanna started taking off the clothes she was wearing one by one, and she said to me.
“I’ll take a shower first?”
“Yeah…”
When she said that she would take a shower first, I could only sit on the bed and remain blank.
‘Am I ruined?’
This is the first time I have seen Yuanna look like that in all my years of dating. She was the one who hid her true feelings and always showed me a smiling face.
When she said that her heart was hurting and that she wanted only me to look at her, she felt hopeless.
If I make a mistake today, I think we might break up. During our conversation at the restaurant, she said she couldn’t give up on me, but she’s not that stupid to believe that.
She’s making up her mind now. She’ll be cleaning up in a restaurant, in her car, or in a hotel bathroom.
Whether to continue the relationship with me in the future or end this relationship.
