Chapter 448 – Flower of Evil (3)
It was a child I didn’t want in the first place.
Thin lips, stubborn eyebrows, nervously squinted eyes-.
Strange traces of Balthazar could be found all over the child’s face.
So, Andalote did not want to see the child’s face.
When I looked at the child’s face, I thought of that man.
Balthazar’s man, who was very drunk, took her keys from her chief, crawled into her prison, laid her down, and climbed on top of her, panting and shaking her hips. 〉
On the day she killed that man and ran away, Andal Lote did not even know that she had given birth to her child.
However, her body became heavier, and her stomach began to swell.
I was so scared.
I thought she might be sick, so despite her situation of running away, she went to visit a convent in a remote place.
The old nun said.
You are blessed. There is a new life in your belly-.
The despair she felt at that time was indescribable.
There was a time when she thought while holding a kitchen knife.
Should I cut out the lower abdomen? Should I kill and get rid of the cursed blood of the human species right now?
But she had to go on with her life.
She had to take revenge.
For the sake of Seonsan, who was burned, and for the well-being of her family, neighbors, and people who were crushed under the imperial fire. I couldn’t die right now.
Therefore, she inevitably wandered around the continent with her child in her arms.
The hunting dogs were very persistent.
She searched for traces of her and even found out that she had her child.
Finding a wandering woman with a full stomach was much easier than finding a woman traveling alone – she couldn’t rest for a single day.
The morning dew was the blanket, and the bright blue leaves were the bed.
When I woke up to the sound of chirping, there was damp dew on my skin and my clothes were soaked.
Spitting softly, he staggered – stood up, leaning on a wooden beam, and hoped that he would be safe today – and hoped that the hunting dogs would not find him.
Sometimes, there were people who gave her recognition.
There were some people who grunted and gave up a corner of the barn where they herded pigs, wondering if the young woman had misbehaved and got pregnant, and there was also an old couple who gave up a room for their dead son and his wife.
It didn’t matter what she said when she saw her.
Even as he scanned her skin with his sinister eyes and subtly reached out and massaged her buttocks, he didn’t mind.
It didn’t matter where she went as long as she could lie down comfortably on one side of her body even for a moment.
However, she also had no choice but to stop hoping for someone’s favor.
This is because she saw that her village, which had welcomed her and provided her with her necessities, was engulfed by her calls.
They only showed favor to an unknown woman, but she was a credit to the empire for harming the duke’s precious son.
During the difficult days of the journey, the stomach grew bigger and bigger and the child began to kick the skin of the stomach.
She realized that she was inside her egg and was trying to break out of her egg.
And One winter day, Andalote gave birth to a child in a cave in the backwaters.
She had to hold the tough tree bark in her mouth and endure labor pains.
His black, wet head was the first to stick out into the world, and as soon as the child could put his head out, he let out a loud cry.
She had to cut the umbilical cord herself.
After falling asleep exhausted, she woke up the next day to find the child struggling and crying loudly.
A shriveled face, tightly closed eyelids, two tightly clenched fists.
The child was very small, very ugly, and very disgusting.
I couldn’t believe that such a small being had been tormenting her the entire time she had been in her womb.
She left the cave and left her child.
The child was still crying when she returned from washing herself in the nearby stream.
I cried so loudly because I was so sad.
The child complained a lot.
Crying because you’re hungry, crying because you want to sleep, crying when you want to be hugged.
She cried, cried, cried and cried constantly.
Sometimes she would cry so loudly that her temples would tingle, and at such times she could not bear it – she would clamp her child’s mouth shut.
There were times when I looked down at her breathing and puffing up her snot under my palm, and I wished that her child would just die like this.
The child had no name.
Because she didn’t give it to herself.
Children of this era often got sick and often died, so it was not thought that the child would be able to endure the difficult life of a fugitive.
She thought she would die soon.
However, she survived despite the child persistently crying for her milk and crying that her head was feverish.
And it was that day.
It was a day when it rained exceptionally heavily.
Andal Lote, hiding in her bushes, felt the sound of a dog barking coming from a stone’s throw away from her.
The leaves of her hair stood on end, covering her child’s mouth – waiting for them to pass.
They searched the area for traces of her until her child cried out loud and fell asleep.
“It’s around here! It’s obvious!”
“Stupid bastard, can’t you see that you haven’t seen a single hair on her head? There’s no place here, you bastard!”
As the sun slowly set and darkness came, they decided to settle down and camp nearby.
It seemed like they would search more thoroughly when the sun rose tomorrow.
So Andalote placed a cloth soaked in breast milk in the child’s mouth and ran into the darkness.
The traces were intentionally made large.
So that they can follow her traces and get further away from here-.
A day later, when she returned to Supol where she had hidden her child –
She had no children.
Yes, maybe Andalote was relieved to see the empty bush.
No, she definitely did.
Standing in the pouring rain, shivering from the cold – she stood still for a long time.
And she thought.
I don’t have to listen to the child’s piercing cries anymore.
She will no longer have to hold on to her baby’s breasts, which are not producing well.
She would no longer have to clamp her child’s mouth shut, and she would no longer have to worry about her child being trampled to death by a chaser.
But the next morning, when she woke up and wiped away the morning dew that moistened her eyelids with her palms, she saw the bitterly blue sky between the leaves.
She felt a crushing loneliness.
As if she was looking at a fire burning greedily and devouring her mountain – she felt like her heart was breaking.
After crying for a while, she went back to where she had hidden her child.
Hey! Hey! She cried out and dug up all the bushes, even turning over the ground like a mole.
Even after several seasons and a long time had passed, she did not give up on finding her child.
She couldn’t give up.
In her heart, she thought her child was dead.
In that wild forest, a wild animal had bitten her child, and she had bitten off the delicate flesh with its fangs and swallowed it with a near certainty.
However, her ambiguous feelings, whether it was just her atonement – to find her child and kill her with her own hands – caused her to continue to waste her money and time.
I heard that her parents recognized their child no matter how much time passed.
Even if years or decades pass without her seeing her child.
Perhaps time passes so quickly that her child becomes an old man.
She had an unfounded confidence that one day, when she would meet her child, he would recognize her immediately.
Yes, she was her child.
Miuna Gouna, she was the child I gave birth to because my stomach hurt, and she was the child I couldn’t even give a name to.
Andalote was still carrying her child in her heart.
“`
“The Bishop of Luton gave us the name. “He was an eccentric and foul-tempered old man.”
Seojun was telling a story about a religious person who gave him his name.
He was holding a steaming teacup in his hands, his eyes were narrow as he recalled the past, and he seemed to be harboring some longing.
But Andalote could hardly concentrate on his story.
Even though his black hair and bright yellow eyes are clearly here.
I never thought that he was my child.
After all, aren’t parents supposed to recognize their children the moment they meet them, no matter how much time passes?
However, from the day we first met, I never thought that Seojun was my child.
All he could think was that the child would be like this when he grows up.
Even though Seojun’s hair and eyes proved that he was her son, she could hardly accept it.
Is this anxiety just unreasonable?
Is she just acting like a child out of guilt for not recognizing her son at first glance?
Andalote shook her head.
Seojun was sharing memories with himself.
The smells, textures, and sounds of the days she remembered matched in every detail.
Moreover, since the eyes of the only wooden person who was caught were checked, there was no longer any reason to deny that it was unavoidable.
Nevertheless, an unidentified feeling of anxiety remained in a corner of her heart.
“···Can we stop talking about this?”
“Oh, no! Kye, please keep talking!”
But Seojun was not a fool either.
She didn’t know she was thinking that.
Therefore, even though she came here for several days after that day, she never once referred to Andalote as ‘mother.’ She was keeping a reasonable distance and was just complaining about how I had grown up.
Seojun wakes up smiling bitterly.
“Hmm, you look a little tired. “I’ll leave today.”
“It’s okay to stay longer…”
Seojun shakes his head and stands up.
It seemed like she noticed that she was feeling uncomfortable the whole time.
He bowed his head and left her room, and Andal Rothe jumped up and paced around her room, slapping her cheeks with both hands.
Why on earth is this happening?
Am I about to lose my child again due to a dull mood or stubbornness that doesn’t even sound like words…?
Andalote’s face darkened, and she scolded herself harshly.
Behind her, she heard the door open, and a blonde woman who followed her like her own mother came in.
And then he speaks carefully.
“···I still don’t know. The wooden man’s eyes are definitely right, but I don’t have the slightest idea that that man is my mother’s son.”
Andalote chewed her lips.
She hated herself for inadvertently agreeing with her words.
However, I didn’t actually have the courage to read Seojun’s mind.
And what if he breaks down? It’s really my son, but what if he turns out to be an asshole because of my unnecessary doubts…?
He wiped her face and nodded.
“Could you call him back?”
“···Yes? “I left a long time ago…”
“Call me.”
The hesitant woman walked out with her fists clenched.
I have to compare the child with the man’s bloodline.
And if you’re still not sure…
I’m not sure what happens next.
Andalote felt dizzy.
Is it true that she missed her son so much, or was it true that she was waiting for him?
Now I was even doubting my own heart.
“Haa…”
Andalote’s sighs were lost in the cold winter wind.
