Chapter 95 – 95. Planning
One month until Dad returns.
In order to achieve the desired result, the story needed to be refined to make it fit.
So that her mother wouldn’t notice, and her father wouldn’t say no.
It was also important what kind of reaction I had to show to allow myself to live alone,
I also had to decide where to live if I succeeded in independence.
Do you live near Anam, near Sinchon, or somewhere in between?
Would it have been better if we had been to the same school?
No, then you would have been taken to the dormitory.
“⋯Brother, are you sleeping?”
While I was tearing my hair out thinking about the future,
Winter knocked, and before I could answer, he opened the door and poked his head in.
“Sit down. Mom is?”
“Mom is cleaning the bedroom. Can I come in?”
“⋯Anything to say?”
“⋯If you don’t have something like that, can’t I come over to your brother’s room?”
No, of course, it’s not unusual for my brother and sister to talk.
“Come in at once. Close the door.”
“Huh.”
Winter stepped into the room, closed the door, sat down on the chair in front of the desk, and looked at me sitting on the bed.
⋯It’s very awkward to talk like this.
These days, it seems like we always sat next to each other or lay down and hugged each other while talking.
“Um… Brother. Did you hear?”
“Like what?”
“⋯Mom, why are you and Dad remarrying?”
“Ah… I heard that.”
“I heard it too. While eating breakfast earlier… Mom.”
I hate my dad.
But I want to go back to my family.
I hate you so much, but I’ll forgive you just once.
The future your mother wants.
⋯At least, there was a lot of distance from the future we think.
“Your mother is great. If it were me… I don’t think I would be able to do that.”
“⋯I think I will understand a little bit.”
“⋯You understand?”
“I also thought that I wouldn’t be able to refuse if my brother suddenly disappeared, reunited… Or returned.”
Perhaps realizing that he has chosen a word that does not fit the time and place, he bites his tongue and corrects the word.
⋯Be careful. No matter how much mom is cleaning.
“I’m not trash enough to leave my family and run away.”
“⋯Really?”
“…You’re doing this because you can’t throw it away.”
I’m worried because I can’t throw it away.
Winter and Mom.
⋯In fact, cousins, older sisters, and aunts.
Sometimes it’s annoying, but I don’t want to throw it away.
Because they are all good people.
I didn’t want to cut ties with people who liked me and also liked Winter.
Even if the priority is behind, if possible.
“⋯Dad, will you apologize when you come back?”
“Okay. If it was that kind of person, I think he would have contacted us long ago.”
Oh, Dad is different.
That person is not a good person.
It’s useful now, so I’m thinking about how to do it, I don’t want to continue the kite.
You hung up first, why us?
“⋯ Wouldn’t I still do it? I guess I said I would come back with that in mind.”
“What is the importance of apples? Actions matter.”
“Yes.”
“But, if you apologize, let’s pretend to accept it. Mom would want it too, and she would ⋯ until she left once, and if she hated it too much, she would do what Mom would try to solve.”
Of course, you can’t openly ignore your dad.
In order to play a harmonious family without breaking ties even after graduating, it was okay to wear a mask, so I couldn’t show my dislike of my father too much.
Aside from financial issues, Mom will be sad if she realizes that there is no way the relationship will ever improve.
⋯I didn’t want that.
“⋯It’s difficult. Pretending to forgive someone you hate… Hating it.”
“Well, we’re not lying. ⋯I tried to reconcile, but in the end it was a pity, this is how it goes.”
Sorry mom I also wanted to reconcile with my father, but I think it will be difficult.
It’s not that I hate her so much that I don’t even want to run into her, but I just can’t live with her.
I have to go to school from the second semester anyway, so I’m going to live on my own.
⋯And Winter wants to go out too, but it would be a waste to go out with double the money, so it would be better to live together, right?
The world is ugly these days, but it’s dangerous if he lives alone.
I’ll stop by your house often when I have time… I’ll go out and live.
In fact, there was nothing in this story that could be classified as a lie.
If we hadn’t developed that relationship, it probably would have been like this.
I didn’t lie.
“But you have to live together for two or three months. ⋯I think it would be very awkward.”
“I don’t really need to get close, and I can’t approach him because I’m uncomfortable. You can treat it like this.”
“Um… I don’t know.”
“You know the attitude you used to treat me when you were in middle school. Do it.”
“⋯I didn’t hate you back then either?”
“⋯It’s embarrassing. You just have to be as shy as you did to me, and be a bit more ruthless.”
Just like a cat meeting a stranger, cover your face.
There is nothing difficult. Because it’s always been
⋯I need to put in a more ferocious feeling.
It will be fine if you even express your willingness to scratch it when it approaches.
“That was because I was really scared… But…”
“What on earth were you afraid of with your older brother who only studies?”
“Scared. Because I only study at that size.”
“⋯Now?”
I was slightly hurt by the word scary, so I opened my eyes scaredly and brought my face.
Even Winter pretended to be scared, pulled his head back all the way and made a hee!
He closed his eyes tightly, stole my lips in an instant, and shoved my shoulder away.
“⋯I still get scared sometimes. Cover again…”
At the same time, I heard the sound of a vacuum cleaner running in the living room, and my words were cut off.
⋯Calm down.
Mom is at home
I haven’t become independent yet, and if I get caught, I’ll be damned.
Even if you become independent, if you get caught, it’s the same as getting fucked.
“…Let’s continue talking.”
“Ah… Yes. What did you talk about?”
“So Dad…”
Visit was held.
“What are you two having so much fun talking about?”
Mom with the vacuum cleaner noisily scrubbed her floor, talking to us.
“⋯I was just having a conversation. Can’t I chat with my brother?”
“Oh wow, you have so much to say. ⋯You weren’t talking about buying something delicious to eat without Mom knowing, right?”
“No. Mom. It’s Dad…It’s Dad…”
“That’s bullshit. Winter was tempting me to eat chicken for dinner.”
“⋯Really? Shall we have chicken for dinner?”
“Ah… Yes. Would you like some chicken?”
He improvises with words that come to his mind, and responds naturally as if a pit jumps over a wall.
⋯It’s okay, because siblings can talk a little.
I didn’t do anything strange, and I only talked about things that would be true between siblings.
Really.
***
That evening, I ate chicken, and the following week, I ate gomtang until Friday.
It’s much safer if you don’t get caught for just three and a half months, but I don’t want a catastrophe to explode if I can’t stand that moment.
I felt that the future I wanted was not too far away, so I was able to endure it.
When I’m on vacation, I’m going to leave for a while to a place I can’t get to by car, whether it’s overseas or Jeju Island.
When I come back, I will pack up my things and declare my breakup with my dad.
⋯ To be honest, I’ve never met you, but it felt strange to start thinking about breaking up,
Look at yourself
“Son. Aren’t you going somewhere to play this week?”
“Ah yes. What…”
“⋯Would you like something delicious for the weekend?”
“Well… If you do, I’ll be grateful. I can’t cover anything to eat.”
“Okay. Can you tell me if you want something to eat? Mom will do it for you.”
“⋯Yes.”
I, too, was weighed down by karma and ended up enjoying her mother’s affectionate gaze to my heart’s content.
It’s time to stop pretending to have a lover.
If you say you have a girlfriend and you live on your own… I think it’s likely that you’ll be against it for some reason.
It’s not that my mother is a tight-fisted person, but it’s true that she actually wants to go out and live for a bad purpose.
“I’m back⋯.”
“Oh, is my daughter here?”
“Huh. I came to meet a friend I ate dinner.”
“⋯Really?”
“Huh.”
“⋯Okay. Wash and change clothes Is it cold outside?”
“It wasn’t very cold. It must be spring now.”
“Well, since March is almost over.”
Of course, Winter continued to wander outside this week, whether or not he had an appointment.
Likewise, it seems like my daughter has a boyfriend, but if I tell her that she lives alone, she won’t object.
⋯ Then I can say that I will go with you then.
After thinking about it face-to-face, it seemed that it would be more comfortable for Winter to say he would leave.
A daughter’s stubbornness will be harder to defeat than a son’s stubbornness.
It seemed more plausible for me to go out with winter than for winter to follow me.
“⋯I’m back, brother.”
“Have you come? Do you want to drink coffee?”
“I bought you coffee. On the way, my brother’s too. Oh, and I bought my mom’s too. Here.”
“Oh, my daughter knows how to take care of her mother. Someone only knew how to take care of her mother all the time.”
“⋯Why do you keep looking at me?”
“Right. Why him?”
She avoided the gaze of her mother, who kept talking to me, and looked at Winter, who was taking off her coat.
⋯Is it time to buy new clothes?
What should I buy this time?
I have some things in mind,
⋯That’s a bit too much to wear outside.
He shook his head to clear his thoughts and continued with what his brother would say.
“Where did you buy it from?”
“⋯At the place where I was working with my brother. “
“⋯Really?”
“I couldn’t help it because the country said I’d see you there…”
“Ah… Anyways, thank you I will drink well.”
“Huh.”
I took the coffee that Winter gave me and went back to my room.
As I was lying on the bed, chewing on a straw and drinking coffee, I got a call from Winter.
⋯Why do you take and send pictures while you are taking a shower?
I can’t see anything because I covered it all with my hand, but I’m just getting a fever for no reason.
Anyway, I’ve been patient this week.
I gulped and looked at the photos, imagining the future.
⋯ Ha.
I hope July comes sooner.
I want to go to travel.
Just a week to go on a trip…
I wish I could hug you and do nothing.
⋯What are you worried about?
Actually, I don’t like to do anything.
