Chapter 253 – Extraversion. Suspiciously Awkward Siblings (5)
The weather has turned very cold.
Is it because of that
My brother also became very sensitive.
“Huh…”
While eating, take a deep breath
When I drink coffee, I sigh deeply,
Even after washing, he sighs deeply and shakes his head.
He doesn’t get annoyed with me directly, but he gives off an air of not touching me like that.
That attitude is a bit disappointing, but it’s not that I don’t understand it, it’s that I’m in a bad mood.
… Will I be that sensitive when I become a student?
I don’t even want to be strong,
Even so, I’m not a bad kid enough to happily watch my family go through such a hard time.
In a house with only three people, if one of them is slumped over, the whole house becomes gloomy.
My mother is also an academy instructor, so she is very busy ahead of the CSAT.
Ha…
Fortunately, though,
To the extent that the atmosphere will loosen up a lot after tomorrow?
“Son, get some rest today.”
“… Yes.”
“Mom knows that you worked hard, so she will do well.”
As her mother rubbed her brother’s shoulder on rare occasions, she was pouring out all sorts of encouraging words.
Unsuitable for that warm atmosphere, my brother was sighing with a rotting look on his face.
“… Oh, I can’t. I’ll just sleep right away.”
“Are you eight yet?”
“I think I’ll have to lie down from now on to fall asleep around 10.”
“… Okay. Son is right sleep early Get a good night’s sleep and wake up tomorrow. Mom will wake you up.”
“… Yes.”
… At least it would be nice to relax before the exam.
The image of my older brother in my mind has always been that of a grown-up person,
Seeing him broken down to such an extent that he looked pitiful,
To be honest, my heart throbs a little.
… When I see that person studying, I do it even if I don’t want to think that it will be good.
If that person can’t take the SAT, honestly, I’m not confident either.
Ha…
In my heart, I wish my brother good luck,
I saw my brother go back to his room with his shoulders drooping,
I watched pitifully.
***
When I woke up, my brother had already left the house a long time ago.
Our school was also used as a test site, so it was a day to enjoy the holiday that felt like a long time ago and be excited.
For some reason, I couldn’t release my tense chest.
It’s not like I’m taking the exam, so why is this like this, really.
While complaining about her sensibility, which is too outstanding even for a middle school girl, she holds back her heartbeat and keeps looking at her watch.
⋯ It’s not long.
In a few minutes, the exam will be over.
And after a little bit more than that,
Brother returns home
Not an older brother who only sighs deeply and acts sensitively,
It’s taciturn and blunt like the old days, but
Gaaaaa secretly bought ice cream,
The older brother who slips it into the freezer.
“Daughter. Come and try this.”
“Uh?”
“Did you fry a pork cutlet in advance? Try it. Is it delicious?”
While waiting for her brother to return, her mother was preparing a luxurious dinner.
Just looking at the table full of my brother’s favorite meat felt like a preview of the future atmosphere in the house, so I felt at ease.
I take a bite of the pre-fried pork cutlet, feel the crispness, and look forward to the upcoming dinner.
“Delicious?”
“Umm… Yes. Delicious.”
After munching and swallowing the fried meat down my throat, it really wasn’t long until the exam was over.
10.
7.
Watch the ticking second hand,
I check that it arrives at 12 noon,
Mom lets out a deep sigh.
“⋯It’s over.”
“Yes.”
“Your brother will be here in 10 minutes, right?”
“Uh… Maybe?”
The test site is much closer than the school my brother attends.
My mother even asked if she would give me a ride, but my brother waved her hand and refused, saying that he would dare to walk.
Me too… If I was going by my mom’s car, I think I would have woken up early to see her off.
After being so nervous yesterday, why did you refuse?
Did she not want to show her nervous side?
⋯I don’t know.
I’ve never really felt that way before.
“⋯I need to finish the food soon.”
The mother, who was wearing her apron and anxiously watching her watch, finished the food she had prepared and waited patiently for her brother to return.
Her younger sister, whom she is not very close to, is also waiting anxiously,
How stressed is your mother?
⋯In addition, the parties
My heart beats so fast I can’t even imagine.
When she returns, she closes her eyes and thinks of words of congratulations or encouragement to say,
“⋯I’m back.”
“Oh, brother…”
My brother came back earlier than expected.
While sweating profusely,
I saw her gasp for breath,
It seems to have come back from a run.
“Son!”
“Ha… ⋯Whoops.”
Hurriedly, he took off his shoes and entered the living room.
As if taking off his skin, he took off his scarf and bag and threw them on the floor.
She was standing there with a flushed face, staring at her mother.
“⋯Son.”
“⋯Just, what. It’s not that I haven’t seen it. Ha…”
“Sit down. Let’s eat.”
“⋯Yes.”
I could tell just by listening to that regretful timbre of his voice.
Ah,
⋯ You didn’t see this person as much as you expected.
“⋯Brother.”
“⋯Oh, winter.”
“Soo⋯, good work⋯. Sat.”
“⋯Uh.”
I wasn’t expecting a happy response,
I thought you would at least come back with a ‘thank you’ answer.
My brother didn’t even have time to care about that.
With an expression full of regret, I kept licking my lips,
I let the sweat drip down my forehead without wiping it.
I wonder if I want to calm down somehow, I take a deep breath,
He kept biting his lips to keep the emotions from exploding.
“⋯Oh, I can’t. I will wash and eat because of that sweat.”
“⋯Yes. Come and wash Because the table is set.”
So brother,
I went into the bathroom to wash away my sweat instead of tears with a stream of water.
He didn’t come out for a while.
When the fried pork cutlet cooled to some extent, the appearance of my brother who walked out,
My eyes are not swollen,
He didn’t look very relieved.
***
After dinner, which was unexpectedly noisy, my brother went back to his room.
From what I’ve heard, it seems like he only watched as much as his original grades.
Why it was so regretful, I couldn’t figure out.
Seeing that it was scored…
Mmm.
⋯Is it possible for me to see better than that human being?
I was worried about it first, so to be honest, I even felt a little jealous.
With that score, well, I could go anywhere except Gwanak.
I haven’t seen it more than usual.
Really.
I wonder if the saying that the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment is used in this situation.
“Ah, I’m tired…”
It almost took my breath away when his brother just came back and gave me that look,
Satisfied with the atmosphere in the house, which was not worse than I thought, I dug into the bed.
Tomorrow isn’t a holiday, so I have to go to sleep soon.
⋯Ah, annoying.
If you’re going to rest on Thursday anyway, it’s fine if you let me rest until Friday while I’m off.
Then it would be perfectly comfortable to rest for 4 days in a row.
While bouncing my legs on the bed as if swimming, I was just thinking about an unrealistic fantasy.
“⋯.”
A strange sound came from beyond the wall.
It’s a bit like the dying breath I’ve often heard,
Something different.
“⋯Ugh⋯.”
⋯Sounds full of emotion.
“Ha… ⋯Whoa⋯.”
Never heard of it, but
Even if you hear it for the first time
A sound you can hear.
“Eup… Ha… Ha…”
I try to hold on, but
I can’t stand it,
A sound that comes naturally.
“Ah, Mr. Haircut… Ha⋯. Really…”
Hearing it for the first time in my life
To that person’s insults.
Over the wall,
Flows into my ears
It’s so unfamiliar
Is it because it is scary and scary?
My heart, which had sunk a little,
Thumping in fear
“⋯Two more hours… Will do Fuck⋯.”
Full of regret and sorrow,
My brother’s voice tickles my ears as he cries while hitting a pillow, a bed, or something unknown.
I’m sure it’s not that loud,
Surprisingly, it all flows into my ears.
⋯Why?
Why is my heart throbbing with those unrefined emotions?
“Ha… ⋯I’m going crazy⋯.”
Almost all year round,
Is it because I see him sigh every day?
For the past half year he has
Maybe it’s because I’ve seen people struggling while walking around like a bouncer?
For the past few days he has
Maybe it’s because I saw him thump his chest and catch his breath.
Or not,
Just he
Is it because he’s my brother?
“Two problems…, Real fucking…”
Swearing inappropriately,
Incongruously emotional,
Hearing the voice of my brother crying and sobbing incongruously,
Me too
Sitting on the bed inappropriately, with my ears against the wall,
A heart that couldn’t calm down many times,
I brushed it off with my hand.
⋯There would be no reason to be angry.
For some reason,
Saddened me too
Seeing the family struggling
Because I don’t want to see
I don’t want to hear
⋯ Still,
Because I can’t help but listen
I don’t want my brother to know
At least in my heart,
I comforted my brother.
⋯ I wish I could have said it yesterday,
Called.
With a little regret
