Chapter 130 – 130. Brother
I remember hearing it somewhere.
Sleep is said to be a panacea.
I don’t think that’s wrong.
I fall asleep feeling your breath,
Face your face and open your eyes.
During that short sleep of less than two hours, the complicatedly tangled thoughts became much simpler.
“Did you sleep well?”
“⋯Yes. Thanks to my brother.”
I can only think of one thing, so why did I try to go round and round?
I want to be recognized.
To loved ones.
To do that…
Have to convince
If you try and fail, you just have to convince them.
“Wake up slowly. Let’s get up and eat Eat well to do well in exams.”
“You talk like a mother today, oppa.”
“Sometimes I have to nag too.”
If even that doesn’t work…
You should think about it then.
There is no need to seriously consider the future of repeated failures from now on.
I don’t even dream that I’ll cope well then, thinking about it now anyway.
“⋯The door is still closed, so I’ll tell you one thing.”
“What.”
“No matter what happens, I will be by your side.”
I know that.
Because I will too.
But,
What you know with your head and what you hear with your ears have different temperatures that reach your heart.
Much more cozy and warm feeling.
I don’t know if it’s actually warmed up because our hearts are touching.
“⋯So please stay by my side too.”
“You don’t even have to ask me, I’ll do it for you.”
“It’s okay to think weird thoughts. ⋯Don’t think bad thoughts. Really.”
“I will not.”
I have already committed many sins, so I don’t want to commit more.
I’m suffering like this because I don’t want to make my precious people sad, but I’m not stupid enough to think of something worse.
Take it easy on me
If you only show a normal appearance, the probability is high, right?
“Hold my hand. I will raise you up.”
“⋯Yes. Brother.”
First, I got down from the bed, took my brother’s hand, and lifted him up.
Yet… Even after opening the door, I can’t hold it.
I’m still not ready for winter, and I also need time to prepare my mind.
So will my mother.
Forcibly hide, spread sophistry, lie, and act.
It was time to stop doing that.
There were only two things I wanted anyway.
I hope her mom doesn’t grieve.
You just have to be happy
Because the goal is set,
Now you just have to find a way.
Let’s find it.
Because anywhere is good
***
– Oh, brother. Do you have time now?
“Doesn’t exist. Who are you meeting?”
-What. Would you like to meet a girl? Can I tell my sister?
“Don’t bullshit. Autumn is buying rice. Why.”
– Oh, what is it? Tell me right away
“What is it?”
-My dad shines his face at home on the weekends.
Tiff.
I hung up on her sister who was squeaking her nonsense.
It’s not even a holiday, so why do I go into every corner of the house?
If I go in, I’m sure they’ll scratch at me asking if I’m not getting married again, but am I crazy?
“Did you call Anna, brother?”
“Uh. I hung up because it sounded weird.”
Last weekend of April.
I saw it a few times last year, and I got a call from my cousin, whom I hadn’t seen this year.
I’m grateful for buying me a meal for my birthday, so Ji said he’d buy one this time, so I made an appointment for the first time in a while since I had nothing to do on the weekend.
Still, if I want to maintain my dignity as a cousin, even if I get a meal, I have to buy a drink later.
Even if they say that they hate soju all the time, seeing how well they ate anything with alcohol in it, and hearing the fact that they are brothers with their maternal grandfather’s blood mixed in, I feel a sense of closeness.
“But why did you get called to buy me food? To not fit in.”
“I want to ask… Ah. Order? Please give me 4 servings of pork belly.”
“Please give me a bottle of soju. Will you drink too? Since you don’t like soju, how about beer?”
“No no. I quit drinking.”
“You don’t have to hold back, but you really don’t drink?”
“Don’t drink. Never drink again ⋯One Coke, please.”
Surprisingly, I got goose bumps when I witnessed my younger brother refusing alcohol.
We grew up together when we were young, and thanks to that, I knew his personality well, so it was clear that he didn’t just call me to buy me a meal.
Seeing that he doesn’t drink alcohol, he must have called because he was troubled. Maybe it’s a relationship problem?
It’s just a feeling, but somehow it felt like it.
If it’s a problem that I can’t even tell my second aunt or my friend, that’s the only thing.
“Do you have any concerns?”
“⋯Uh.”
“What. Don’t hesitate and speak quickly.
“Uh… How is your brother?”
“Bastard. That’s something you can ask over the phone. Tell me the main point.”
Oh, it’s really fucking frustrating.
He looks like he’s good at American football, but when you see him walking around outside, he’s a guy whose hardware and software don’t match.
If he looked like that, was tall, and went to college, he would meet all kinds of girls.
⋯ I know I’m not talking about myself as I’m approaching 20 years of dating my first girlfriend.
“Uh… My brother is getting married…”
“Hey bitch. That’s what I’m saying because I invited you to eat too…”
“No no. Not that. ⋯I was curious about what it would be like to live together without getting married.”
I calmed down the heat that was about to explode in an instant, and listened to my cousin’s voice, which had become quite serious.
Is this bastard trying to walk the same path as me?
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Uh.”
“What is it? Not hiding it.”
“My brother told me to get to the point.”
“Your girlfriend doesn’t want to get married?”
“⋯There is such a situation.”
Looking at the younger brother’s serious face now, it seems that they are dating more sincerely than I thought.
It’s been half a year since he was discharged, so maybe we’ve been dating for half a year?
Do you think about it now that you have been dating for half a year?
He’s just a guy with a lot of worries, this.
⋯ Well.
“Let’s ask one question, autumn.”
“Uh, bro.”
“Is he a college student?”
“⋯Uh.”
I asked once just in case.
If the age difference is serious, it’s hard for me to answer.
My girlfriend is the same age as hers.
“Okay. What does she want to ask me?”
“Your brother has been dating her girlfriend now for over 15 years, right?”
“Somehow.”
“Even if you’ve known each other for that long… Don’t things like love cool off?”
⋯ This bastard is serious.
It’s the first time he’s dating her girlfriend, so that’s obvious.
It’s clear that her brain has become so preoccupied with love that the feeling of shame has disappeared.
What is the sound of meeting her cousin brother ⋯.
“Of course, the original intention doesn’t stay the same.”
“⋯I see.”
Still, she answered honestly because I understood why she was asking.
I remember being like that when I was in middle school too.
I wish I could live with him for the rest of my life.
I don’t want to break up.
Because that became a reality, it wasn’t always good.
“But it’s not just the level of dying and dying like in the past.
Still, if you look at whether you like it or not, there will be many times more good times.
That’s why we haven’t broken up until now and live together.
It’s a great blessing to have someone who supports me even though I know everything about my shame.
“Isn’t it okay to say that there are times? There is only one person in my life…”
“Bastard. My older brother gave me a serious answer despite his shyness.
“Sorry sorry. I won’t.”
“⋯Did you hear what you wanted to hear? Oh, here comes the meat. Let’s bake.”
“Uh… Let me ask you one more question.”
“What. Brother, I am hungry.”
“If you live without marriage… What will your parents say?”
“⋯Don’t ask me things like that to spoil the taste.”
“⋯Sorry.”
Ha, baby.
It only touches the parts that are really stressful.
It’s not that I don’t want to be called me.
“I’m not going to have children, but when I get married, there are a lot of people who scratch me. If you look at the youngest aunt, you can see the angle. “
“⋯Youngest aunt?”
“My aunt and uncle got married and she was criticized by the elders for not having children. Ah, you and your brother must have not come to see us during New Year’s Day.”
“Did something like that happen?”
“There was. ⋯Ah. Not because of my aunts. The youngest aunt went first and came back after being criticized, so both of them were crying.”
I was also in a position where my father would nag me if I was bored, so I sympathized with him and almost cried with him.
Even my mother ⋯, she doesn’t say anything in words, but it’s obvious that she expects it.
Even if you’re just telling me to get married right now…
If you marry unconditionally, you will always tell me to have a child.
It’s obvious if you don’t look.
I don’t understand how Anna gets along at home.
If he goes over 30, he will be pressured like me, right?
Although he is a younger brother who gets annoyed a lot more, thinking that he will experience something similar makes my heart complicated.
He is similar
“…Still, my second aunt is quite open-minded. What do you mean you’re not getting married?”
“⋯You will be disappointed. Still.”
“All of that is good for you. If you live happily and prosper, you will be satisfied.”
I know very well that it is not common to live together for several years and never get married.
But since I’m living well, even my mom can’t say anything yet.
If I get along like this for the next 20 years, I’ll be proven right.
Her cousin also seems to be walking the same path as me, so I want to support her if possible.
“Hey, is the meat roughly cooked? Let’s stop talking stuffy and eat.”
“⋯Uh.”
“I was going to buy it all if you drank with me, but since you said you didn’t drink, I’ll pay only for the drinks. Okay?”
Will he live well?
I wish I could feel the same way and live well.
I was a little worried when I saw the worry-filled face of my brother.
Still, I’m glad that it’s been resolved quite a bit after I’ve talked about this and that.
“No, I called my brother to buy it for me…”
“Eating everything hurts my pride, so buy in moderation. Oh, show me your girlfriend later. Let me see your face.”
“⋯If possible.”
“What is possible? You can show me the picture.”
“⋯Later.”
“Why are you so shy, you?”
“It was because we were in a relationship.”
⋯Cheer up, kid.
The second aunt is a really nice person.
No matter what you do wrong, he will understand everything.
Unless it violates the heavenly rules, such as adultery.
