Chapter 124 – 124. That Person
Before meeting my father.
Before I received an apology, I needed to apologize first.
There are people you need to apologize the most for, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apologize to others.
I have to pay for the sin of making giblets by buying meat.
“Does your brother not drink?”
“⋯You want me to drink again?”
“Oh… No. I’ll just drink it myself.”
Isn’t it the first time in your life to buy food for college juniors?
In the first place, it’s only natural since I’m in the 2nd year now.
You have to go to school to meet seniors or juniors.
“Okay. Kim Ga-eul, you drink cider. I’m going to drink soju, so order one of mine.”
“Yes, yes.”
Oh, it’s probably the first time I’ve bought it for my classmates.
I owed a lot to him, so I had to repay him someday.
I don’t think I’m the kind of person who would say anything if he didn’t buy me food, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that.
⋯Actually, I thought it would be uncomfortable to have a meal with my junior, so there are times when I bought it and called it both.
Of course, it made my wallet even more uncomfortable.
Eh, I don’t know
What would a suspiciously rich man who lived abroad do?
However, if you look at our house except for the location, it is not as splendid and there is no elevator. Isn’t it as rich as you think?
⋯If we meet tomorrow, you’ll know roughly everything.
“Um… Oh, Autumn.”
“Why.”
“⋯It’s okay, right?”
“It’s okay, so come out and eat with you guys.”
I didn’t say it out loud, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I was fine thanks to them.
There, I showed a reaction that I was disgusted toward my brother and sister,
Or if you were completely ignored after the event was over…
Even if you pretended to be fine on the outside, you probably collapsed inside.
Even if you have someone you love, you cannot maintain your mental state unless other human relationships exist.
I’ll probably release all the stress I’ve been through to Gye-gyeol.
Winter is suffering from stress because of me again.
In the end, wouldn’t the future come when each other becomes negative to each other?
Just thinking about it is terrifying.
Because that one person is enough to get rid of the stress.
“Um… Brother. I am.”
“Uh.”
“Because I don’t know… I won’t ask anything.”
“⋯Yes. Thanks.”
So…
The fact that people like this exist is in itself lucky for me.
The same goes for winter.
I was having a meal with my college seniors, but a friend suddenly showed up and worried about me even though I came out as an incestuous person and cried apologetic.
I can only express that I am lucky to have such a person as my friend.
⋯ He must be meeting friends now.
I wonder what winter will say.
“⋯But Minji seems a bit uncomfortable.”
“Your girlfriend?”
“Yes. I didn’t think it was disgusting or anything like that. ⋯I don’t even know myself.”
“That is not normal. I think I would have done the same.”
It’s not that I’m not complaining about other people.
A colleague who worked part-time together.
Among them, I was getting along well with a girl who had just graduated from high school and her older sister and younger brother ⋯,
Apparently, I bumped into my older brother, who had been part-time job together, coming out of a motel.
I couldn’t help but doubt that it wouldn’t be…
When I found out that the suspicion was true as the relationship continued again.
Ah. Brothers and sisters can do that.
What’s wrong with that? How many people can say that?
At least I don’t think they feel it’s not a problem either.
It’s not your business, so considerate that you won’t care,
It’s all about empathizing with you because you’re in the same situation as yourself.
“Well, he’s nice, so he won’t talk to anyone…”
“Minseop. If you want a compliment, tell your girlfriend directly. Would he really like to hear that?”
“Ah, heavenly sister. What…”
After that, there wasn’t much talk about me and Kyeolgi.
I didn’t say anything about my family affairs or her father.
I just listened to a drunk junior complaining about not wanting to go to the army next year.
But…
I paid for the meat I bought.
Even if you’re a bit stray, you can still meet people.
Similarly, winter, who met friends and returned home together,
He had a face that wasn’t as bad as mine.
⋯Hey,
Whatever you want to say, you can do it tomorrow.
***
Isn’t this the most mentally stable time after being discharged?
I have a family that loves me
I have a lover who loves me
Even though it’s difficult to the inside, I have some friends who I can confide in until the right line.
So…
It would be great if only this could be resolved.
“Ah… Son.”
“Hello⋯.”
It’s ironic.
I didn’t know that the cafe where I made an appointment to meet was the place where I worked part-time.
But, well, it’s not a place that doesn’t suit a reunion after ten years.
“Uh. Sit there there.”
“⋯How did you recognize it right away?”
“I got a picture from your mother.”
In fact, I could recognize my father’s face as soon as I saw him.
A strangely exotic face, perhaps because he lived abroad.
Dressed well, unnecessarily for a young age.
A sturdy body that can be felt even when sitting.
In comparison, the beard marks are not visible at all.
Skin that doesn’t show signs of aging even though I haven’t seen it in a really long time.
Wouldn’t it just be like that if I manage well and live abroad until that age?
Blood is so scary.
“⋯How is winter?”
“I’m doing great.”
“Okay? ⋯I see.”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to drink coffee and eat? Dad eats…”
“No. Because I didn’t come here for that.”
“⋯Yes.”
“⋯Dad, do you have anything you want to say?”
Are you covering your face?
Or maybe you don’t know what to say first.
I can roughly guess what’s inside.
Like tapping the soles of your feet.
You know he’s worried just by looking at his mouth twitching as he opens and closes his fists.
⋯ If you’re going to worry like that, did you worry like that in the past?
Oops.
I was about to spit it out of my mouth.
“⋯Uh, son.”
“Yes.”
“Sorry.”
“What?”
Sorry for what
How did she get divorced and leave her mother behind?
Not very important.
It’s important that you’re sorry.
But…
Just curious
I can’t help but wonder what kind of person her mother is to remarry even after raising us alone.
⋯Honestly, I understand it when I see it.
Anyway, there must be another reason.
“I divorced your mother. Leaving you guys alone…And going abroad. ⋯I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Why didn’t you come back after you went abroad?”
“⋯It was because my dad didn’t get along with your mom for a while after he went to America. Later, when time passed, she even contacted you ⋯.”
Contradiction.
The person who left because she didn’t get along with her mother wants to come back to her family’s arms as if she missed something so much.
⋯ To be honest, I understand this too.
To come back to my hometown after living in a foreign country, everyone I knew would have been completely embarrassed and at a loss.
At least, the divorced mother I used to contact often hasn’t remarried, and she’s raising children that are related to me.
So, I tried to say just in case, but somehow it is not impossible for the story to progress.
Since that person is also a human being, he must have wanted to wash away the guilt accumulated in his heart.
“I don’t understand. First of all, what the hell did you go abroad for?”
However.
Today, I’m going to try not to be cheap.
Understanding and understanding are two different things.
“⋯Dad didn’t get divorced to go abroad. Originally, I was going to take you too.”
“Then why did you divorce?”
“Because both of you are busy at work. Don’t care about each other I fight because I’m tired… I’m exhausted. Fighting over trivial things… It was difficult for both of us.”
“Is that why you got divorced?”
“I really had no intention of doing it. Dad was a bit… Like a kid. Then.”
“⋯What?”
“If this is the case, they say I’d rather go to America alone… So they told me to go.”
“Are you kidding me now?”
No.
⋯ What the fuck.
Ha⋯.
There’s no such thing as a kid, fuck.
Not what I would say.
“Dad.”
“⋯Uh, son.”
“Am I 8 years old? You got divorced by then.”
“⋯.”
“Because Dad is 50 now. Aren’t you over 30 back then?”
“⋯I’m sorry.”
“Fuck it, if you really go…”
“⋯I’m sorry, Dad.”
But damn I’m still in my 20s.
No kids
There is only one person in charge, but this bastard is really…
Ha.
Be patient
You shouldn’t get too hot with your dad.
You have to stay calm
“Why did you come back when you knew you were sorry?”
“⋯Your mother said that.”
“What did you say?”
“I am so sorry for you.”
“⋯.”
“⋯He came and cursed at me, and asked me to live while feeling sorry for you.”
Actually,
Tried to plunge her dad into a pit of guilt.
I am a bad boy
You must atone for your children.
I wanted to treat you coldly enough to feel that way…
What is the point of swearing at someone who wants to be criticized from the start?
It’s just a prize.
“I have a question. Dad.”
“⋯ What?”
So, as long as it’s like this.
“Why do you think we would curse at Daddy?”
I needed to change direction a bit.
“At least I remember it, but I don’t know about Winter at all. Dad.”
To be honest, I didn’t have too much fucking animosity towards my dad.
Isn’t ‘like’ the opposite of ‘dislike’?
Is indifferent
I wasn’t interested.
I hardly even remember.
When I said I was coming back, I was embarrassed for nothing.
“We’ve never been interested enough to curse Dad, so why are you so overestimating yourself?”
So, to that scandalous person…
Is there anything more painful than this?
I don’t know of a stronger expression.
“Did you think he would cry and curse when he came back, asking why we did that to Dad?”
“⋯.”
“I didn’t really care and lived well. I grew up well under my mother and her grandmother, us.”
“⋯.”
“Well, it seems that Mom still likes Dad. I have no intention of interfering with the two of you restarting…”
“⋯Son.”
“Yes.”
The bad words that I kept in my heart for so long.
In fact, it wasn’t the feelings I had built up for this person.
Representatively, the senior military officer who acted like a dick.
The middle school teacher who looked at the student as a dick, etc.
It’s pitiful to see my father beaten and even slightly weeping for it, but
It’s good enough for a day or so.
I wish I could have contacted you.
Or if you don’t come back at all.
I’m not even going here
“I’m sorry Dad…”
“If you’re sorry.”
And that’s it.
⋯Being beaten usually impairs judgment.
“Because both me and Winter have to take care of themselves.”
“⋯.”
“Leave Mom alone, so ⋯, she comes in and lives with Mom. Please don’t apologize to us.”
So maybe
You wouldn’t even notice if you heard this.
Because he also left a knife mark on our chest.
We’ll leave you with one room.
Because all three of them are criminals to the mother,
Let’s compromise and live in moderation.
Father.
