Chapter 137 – Jane. Aching Wounds (3)
Jane started her story, wetting her throat with a glass of water in front of her.
“Exactly three people.”
“Pardon?”
“The number of people I’ve liked.”
“Fewer than I thought.”
Jane chuckled at Number 25’s response. The self-deprecating laugh almost seemed to mock Number 25.
Jane didn’t drink the water in her hand right away, but moved her hand back and forth, watching the swaying water, and replied in a quiet voice.
“Do I look like someone who gives their heart easily?”
Judging from Jane’s eccentric personality, she didn’t seem like someone who would give her heart easily. Number 25 shook his head, expressing his feelings as they were, and said briefly.
“No.”
“The first person I liked was a maid who assisted me.”
The past, which began in such an indifferent tone, was shocking from the very first sentence. Number 25 asked again to make sure he had heard correctly.
“A maid? Was that person a woman too?”
Jane nodded and called an employee to order another cup of coffee.
While waiting for the coffee, Jane remained silent for a moment, then crossed her legs and put a cigarette in her mouth again.
“Is it strange to like another woman? Gender doesn’t matter in love. Isn’t it love if you just like the person themselves?”
Overwhelmed by Jane’s force as she stared straight into his eyes and spoke as if shooting arrows, Number 25 stammered and averted his gaze.
“N-no… it’s not strange, but…”
The concept of love that Jane felt was quite different from the love that Number 25 knew.
“But she seemed a little uncomfortable with the idea of another woman having feelings for her? I wanted to keep her by my side, but I thought it was just my greed, so I just sent her to another district.”
“With your power, couldn’t you just keep her by your side?”
“You’re still young, so you don’t understand. You let them go because you like them.”
‘You let them go because you like them,’ Number 25 thought of Low immediately upon hearing those words. She could have overwhelmed Ascer and Charlotte with her overwhelming force and monopolized Number 25, but she didn’t want to force things while ignoring Number 25’s feelings, and she didn’t want to see him get hurt, so she sent him back to Ascer, didn’t she?
Thinking like this, it wasn’t that Jane’s feelings were incomprehensible.
“Anyway, my first love ended so futilely. I told you, right? I’ve never had a proper love.”
“What about the next one?”
Jane let out a hollow laugh as if she was dumbfounded.
“The next one? You really intend to hear everything here?”
Number 25 tapped the table with his finger and said.
“Isn’t it okay? The food hasn’t all come out yet.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. The next one was an academy graduate who came to learn painting from me. Oh, don’t worry, he’s a man.”
Number 25 didn’t know what he was supposed to be relieved about, but he nodded anyway.
“I got along well with him in terms of personality and taste, so I had a lot of fun working together in the studio. We would paint, eat together, and if we were tired, we would go out for a walk… those were good times.”
Jane took a long, deep breath. The moment good memories turn into painful pasts you want to erase is fleeting.
“So I confessed. Looking back now, it was too hasty a confession. Actually, he wasn’t that good-looking? I must have been wearing rose-colored glasses. I wanted to be in a more special relationship, and when I saw him getting along with other people, I didn’t want to lose him. I think I did it because I wanted to make him my possession.”
He didn’t know her possessiveness was this strong. Number 25 ignored the goosebumps he felt and said in a small voice.
“So, what happened?”
“Of course, I failed. He didn’t like me as a woman, but only admired me as a Demon King and an artist. When I found out later, he already had a lover? That bastard.”
Jane sipped her coffee and opened her mouth with calm eyes.
“But was that feeling really love? When I think about it now, I don’t think so. I think I just mistook curiosity or simple affection for the first man who showed me interest as love for a man.”
She put the coffee cup down hard enough to make a sound, leaned back on the sofa, and asked Number 25.
“Okay, that’s the end of the second one. What do you want to do? Do you want to hear more?”
It was the first time he had heard someone else’s love story directly, and it was more interesting than he had thought. Number 25 was already engrossed in the story she was telling. Jane saw Number 25’s expression and smiled faintly.
“I don’t even need to hear your answer.”
“The last, third one was a professor at the academy. We became friends after he came to our district, and he seemed to fall in love with me at first sight. He kept expressing that he liked me while we were in contact? But after the first two loves failed, I had a little less faith in myself.”
“He was devoted to me. He gave me gifts first, asked me to eat with him, and it was the first love I had ever received, having only given until now. To be honest, I enjoyed it. And finally, on the day he confessed that he liked me and asked me to go out with him… I was a little scared, so I refused.”
Number 25, who had been immersed in the story, let out a sigh as if he couldn’t understand, and asked in a regretful tone.
“Huh? Why?”
“I told you, I didn’t have confidence in myself. Is this person really in love with me? Or is it just because he wants to sleep with me, because he wants the power I have? I had those negative thoughts. And I thought that if he really liked me, he would confess one more time? I had such a naive thought. And if a second confession came, I was going to accept it. But I told you earlier, right? You let them go because you like them, and that applied to him too.”
“The moment I saw him turn away with tears in his eyes, I intuitively knew that this was definitely over to the point that it would be rude for me to hold on.”
Jane shrugged her shoulders and looked at Number 25.
“How is it? It’s not a particularly interesting story, is it?”
Number 25 shook his head and denied it.
“No. It was nice to learn about you. But I still don’t understand why you let the last person go. Why weren’t you honest with yourself?”
At Number 25’s question, Jane opened her eyes wide, then smiled thinly and scolded Number 25.
“What’s the point of explaining this to a kid who hasn’t even lost his baby fat? Just think of it as a crazy woman’s whim.”
“What does that…”
“What’s with that expression? Are you disappointed? That the Demon King, who should be full of dignity, is no different from a woman you can find anywhere in the neighborhood? The Demon King is no different. Don’t have too many illusions.”
“But it’s the first time you’ve told this story to anyone else. It’s always been a problem I’ve been suffering from alone, but it feels a little better to let it out like this. Thank you.”
Unlike her words of gratitude, Jane had a bitter expression as she put a cigarette in her mouth and lit it.
Number 25 frowned at the smoke coming towards him, covered his nose, and asked.
“Why are you smoking that?”
Jane looked at the cigarette between her fingers and let out a hollow laugh.
“Well, at first, it was to get his attention. That academy professor was a heavy smoker. Although he never smoked in front of me. You want to have at least one common hobby with the person you like, right?”
“Are you still unable to forget him?”
Jane’s movements stopped for a moment. Her voice was more subdued than usual as she spoke.
“I’ve forgotten everything. In the first place, that person is married and already has three children. There’s no room for me to interfere in his life now.”
Jane’s eyes, as she said that, contained much greater sadness than usual. Number 25 closed his mouth, thinking that he had touched a nerve.
Jane continued to say things she hadn’t been asked to say in order to change the atmosphere, which had suddenly become subdued.
“What? What’s with the atmosphere? I really have forgotten everything. It’s just become a habit to smoke now. That’s all.”
Then, Jane leaned her arms on the table, leaned her upper body forward, and spoke to Number 25 with a playful smile.
“Why? Do you hate it?”
Number 25 replied while still covering his nose.
“Yes. I don’t really like it.”
Charlotte and Ascer didn’t even put cigarettes in their mouths in the first place, and Low lived with a pipe in his mouth whenever he had a chance, but it was made of magical tobacco, so it didn’t smell very pungent. Rather, it even had a fragrant scent. But what Jane was smoking was literally a commodity sold in any store, so it was like torture for Number 25, who had a sensitive sense of smell.
Jane crushed the cigarette in the ashtray in front of her and said, looking at Number 25.
“Well, if you say that much…”
The next moment, Jane suddenly grabbed Number 25 by the collar, pulled him towards her, raised his upper body, and stole Number 25’s lips in the blink of an eye.
There was no relationship, no atmosphere, no situation, nothing that justified it, so what filled Number 25’s eyes was bewilderment.
The sweetness that spread through his mouth like his usual kisses was absent. What filled Number 25’s mouth was the pungent taste of cigarettes.
The smoke spreading between their touching lips was thick enough to hide Jane’s expression.
As soon as the short kiss ended, the smoke disappeared as if it were a lie, and Jane stroked Number 25’s lips, which were staring blankly at her, and said.
“Okay, I’ll quit. As you said, I can’t be tied to the past forever. Instead, you remember. My first and last bitterness.”
