Chapter 21 – Episode 21. I’m Not Dating Girls for the Time Being, I’m Concentrating on My Studies
***
Time goes by.
I have recovered my study pattern again.
I came to the academy’s self-study room to study hard from morning.
So, I continued to study hard except for the time to eat.
Oh, right.
The day after I played that day, the day after that day, my studies were definitely ruined.
I felt like I was in good shape that day, but my mind was restless and I couldn’t study well at all.
Certainly, there are some aftereffects after playing.
Surprisingly, I didn’t have a hangover because I drank alcohol the day before, but I was quite tired in the afternoon.
And also definitely the morning seems to be important.
I used to feel that way.
It seems that I have to concentrate more on my studies in the morning or early hours after sleeping and refreshing my brain.
At that time, if I play games, meet girls, or do fun things, it feels like the rest of the day is a bit disadvantaged.
If I do something fun in the morning, when I say I do something that is not fun in the morning, it feels less fun than what I did in the morning, and it seems to be psychologically difficult to do more.
On that day, I decided to use it as a teacher on the other hand and use it as an opportunity to get my mind together again.
From then on, I continued to focus on not meeting people as much as possible.
It was after that time had passed.
I went back and forth between my house and the open self-study room of the 9th grade civil service academy.
It was the same today.
I studied all the time except for the time to eat.
Then, I went out to the hallway to get some water, and in the hallway in front of the academy’s open self-study room, a woman I had never seen before started talking to me.
“I…”
Wearing a tracksuit, she hesitated and slightly lowered her gaze in front of me.
Just before I scooped her water from her water dispenser, I looked back at her and gave her answer.
“Yes?”
Then she asked me
“Do you… Do you have a girlfriend?”
These things happen to me out of the blue.
It’s no doubt a pleasant thing, but since I’m absorbed in my studies, I decided to decline.
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Really? Well, then, give me your number.”
The woman gently tosses her hair on one side of her, holding her cell phone in one hand and holding it towards her.
I immediately followed.
“I’m sorry. I don’t have a girlfriend, but… I’m concentrating too much on my studies these days, so it seems a bit difficult. You’re attractive, so I think you’ll be able to meet enough other people.”
I politely declined.
The woman hit me once more.
“I’m working hard too, but wouldn’t it be okay as long as we don’t interfere with each other? If you don’t have a girlfriend.”
She also came in with quite a bit of confidence, befitting a woman who would push her against me.
But if I’m just holding my heart, it doesn’t work well.
“No, I’m sorry. I’m the type of person who doesn’t have enough concentration. It’s a little hard to balance studying and dating… You’re really good, but I’m sorry I can’t afford it.”
Again I very politely declined.
When I said that, the woman seemed to have given up.
“Um… Yes. Then… Good job.”
She glances around the empty hallway for a moment, catches her attention, then goes back into her study room.
I put the 500ml mineral water bottle in my hand on the water purifier and received water in order to carry out the intended purpose of leaving the study room for a while.
-Toorurururu…
The stream of water hitting the plastic gradually hits the water, making a fading sound, and the small water bottle fills up quickly.
I picked it up and drank it in gulps.
“Gulp, gulp…”
Thirst is quenched
While studying, drinking this kind of water feels like a kind of amusement.
And I think that such a state is also a good state to study.
A state of being extremely isolated from not doing other fun things, and being able to have fun in something very trivial.
I think I’m doing well in my studies.
If you find it fun to drink water like this, I think you’ve said it.
After drinking, I wiped my mouth once, refilled the bottle, and screwed the cap back on.
I go back to the study room.
It’s going to be full of fighting.
Okay!
Fuck today…
It’s fucking solving problems!
It always seems like this.
When I sit down, the speed slows down a bit…
When you just wake up in the morning, or when you leave for a short while and go back to study, your enthusiasm soars and you feel like your studies will go well.
The distance between the water purifier and the self-study room that is open today was close.
-Clap…
Quietly open the door to the study room.
When I open the door and enter, a fairly huge space greets me.
It is a lecture hall that can comfortably seat more than 200 people.
Because it is self-study time, not lecture time, the lecture room is naturally not full, and only a few people who come to self-study are sitting sparsely.
Considering the fact that people studying like this are sitting apart, there seem to be a lot of people, but there are less than 50 people.
– Jeobeok, Jeobuck…
I keep my footsteps as quiet as possible and head towards my seat today.
When there is a class, it is used as a lecture room, and when there is no class, it is used as a self-study room in rotation according to the notice posted on the bulletin board.
A lot of classes are starting, but the class I want to take is still before it starts.
And even if the class I’m taking is before the start of the semester, I can study here because the self-study room is always open.
– Hairy
I gently moved the chair out and sat down.
My seat today is in the middle of a huge, dense array of chairs and desks.
There is no need to take the front seat because it is a position for self-study anyway.
I wanted to take a window seat, but today I just sat down and watched it.
I sat down and immediately immersed myself in my studies.
‘Let’s focus. Okay! Fighting overflowing!’
I was immersed in looking back at the problem I had been looking at for a long time, which was in the middle of the fucking thick problem-solving book.
After setting a time limit for yourself and giving yourself a quota, set a goal that can be dealt with over a long period of time and the amount of study according to short-term goals for each short period of time.
And within it, short-term goals are achieved and checked.
Then, at some point, there are quite a few books that are thicker than this fucking dictionary I’m looking at.
However, as I always feel, the most fucked up thing about studying for a 9th grade civil servant is that the speed of my oblivion is faster than I thought.
I wish I hadn’t forgotten what I studied once.
With that in mind, I focused on my studies as much as possible.
***
By 10:30, I finally filled the time I was aiming for in the self-study room.
Time is there.
Rather than time, I put more emphasis on how much I studied and how much I harvested in 10 minutes to a few hours at the shortest.
You will be able to see that you are evaluating your own study based on performance rather than on a part-time basis.
Compared to the time achieved, in terms of quantity, the target was not completely achieved, but it was quite satisfactory in its own way.
If I do as much as today, I feel like my day will be worthwhile.
‘Should I end here?’
After I finished my studies and stayed until the academy self-study room closed, there were only two people left besides me.
Everyone doesn’t study until that late in the academy’s self-study room.
I think it’s just individual differences.
You can wake up at dawn, start studying and go to bed at 9:00 or 10:00.
I wake up around 8:00 and start studying, and I can go to bed at 11:00 or 12:00.
That doesn’t seem to matter much.
I think everyone has their own pattern.
Also, even if you don’t study for that long, even if the study time is short, if the efficiency during that time is outstanding, it might be okay to study for a relatively small amount of time.
I’m not a bit of a genius, but I think the efficiency is pretty good.
But it doesn’t fit well with this guy’s civil service exam.
I am confident in memorizing dozens of books in the short term, but memorizing thousands of books in the long term seems quite dizzying.
Do it or not.
I did that today too.
I packed my books and pens in my black backpack and left the self-study room.
The way back is still cold.
Still, my heart is light.
On the way back with a bag, the streets before 11 o’clock are crowded.
There are many shops selling food in the academy district, and it is crowded with people who use them.
There are bars between the shops that sell food, and it is the same that they are also quite crowded.
I pass them by and go home.
After I get home, I unpack my bag and take a shower.
Warm water.
After taking a shower and coming out, put on comfortable clothes that you would wear at home, and put on a jacket over them.
Then, take a beer from the refrigerator and go to the rooftop.
As I have often done on other days, I decide to go to the rooftop and open a can of beer.
The day was cold, as it always is these days.
Still, it was okay to drink a beer for a while in such an open place.
Fixed time, mostly in confined areas… So, although it is spacious, I spend a lot of time in the space called the study room at the academy and in the one-room room where I live, so sometimes looking at such a wide place seems to be a little helpful for my mental health.
He also smokes.
It’s an e-cigarette
But I don’t smoke much.
It seems to have definitely decreased compared to the past.
Even when I was in the military, three cartons of cigarettes a month were not enough, but after being discharged from the military, I smoke about one every three or four hours.
If you buy one pack, it will last for several days.
Part of the reason I don’t smoke is because I don’t think there are many things to be upset about.
I think the more you smoke a cigarette, the better it tastes.
Smokers don’t go outside just because it’s cold.
I think I can see it similarly to having a can of beer after studying.
The rooftop is a bit cold, but I want to open another can here.
-Click!
Pour a beer
And drink.
“Gulp, gulp…”
Soft, carbonated liquor runs down your throat.
It’s good.
“Big~.”
After drinking my beer, I said a word to myself while looking down at the rooftop.
“Um. Fuck. It’s all gone today.”
The air is cold, the hands are getting cold little by little, and the beer cans are cold.
Still, I wonder if this world is colder than the world I came to know after becoming an adult.
After entering the gosichon, I studied hard in the beginning, but there were some people I got to know around here in my second year.
However, there are some people who seem a little serious about how to find the real answer.
People who live in a studio like me are better off.
Like I did, I had some money saved up from doing part-time work, or I received support from a family with some money, like some of my children who are more than a silver spoon.
However, there are a lot of people my age who live in rooms that make me wonder if I really need to help them on a national level.
Even the one-room I lived in was not that huge, but compared to the coffin-like atmosphere of the gosiwon, my house could be seen as an abanggung.
I would rather not study there.
Even if you talk in a whisper, the next room thumps and slams the wall, taking action as if telling you to shut up, and you can literally just sleep in that small space.
Really…
It seems difficult to see that he lives like a human being.
Curiously, the state keeps spending tens of trillions of won or hundreds of trillions of won in taxes to help people lose unemployment, but I hear that it is more difficult every day…
If so, wouldn’t it be better to just play the national lottery?
I try such a boss once.
With 100 trillion won, 1 billion each is distributed to 1,000 people as national lottery prizes.
Do not pay taxes
Then 100 trillion won’t evaporate, but 1,000 people would be able to live on every budget.
If this is repeated 100 times, wouldn’t a middle class of 100,000 people still emerge?
Let’s think about the absurd thoughts for a while.
Because that can’t happen.
I drink some more beer.
“Gulp, gulp…”
If you look outside, you can see many shops today.
People seem to have forgotten even the cold.
Quite a lot of people move.
I wonder what kind of day they had today.
Everyone must have had a different day in their own way.
People who study damn hard may end up choking on the amount of studying.
And those who don’t fucking study may feel very hopeless because of the future they can’t see.
Either way, people eventually get to live their lives.
Because no one can live your life for you.
In moving forward with a certain sense of purpose, it may be oneself who sets the direction in the end.
The more time I spend alone, the more I think about it.
After emptying the can of beer, I went back to my room, rinsed my mouth, and decided to go to sleep.
After immersing myself in my studies really hard, I came home and it was so worthwhile, so I felt like I could get a good night’s sleep.
