Chapter 22 – Each of Us Struggles
Tuck… Tuck…
I wake up when a cool wind blows.
‘…What was I doing?’
I looked around.
Late night. The road didn’t look right either.
My body was on its way back to church, relying on the moonlight.
‘Cold.’
My body always looked for Starchis, who shared warmth at times like this.
Because when it was cold, I was always right next to him.
But today, there were no Starches around.
‘Oh right.’
Now he has a lover.
I decided not to take him unless there was a special occasion.
-‘Starchis… Take me to church.’
He answered in a slightly firm voice.
– ‘Sorry, Bien. Unless there’s something wrong, please go back alone from now on.’
I feel like it was so cold on the way back.
‘-Elsaine.’
Starchis’s voice comes to mind.
My heart thumps and falls.
It was… It was real.
Have a girlfriend
I didn’t believe it until I heard the name.
It couldn’t have been, but I knew Starchis wasn’t lying, but wasn’t it a joke? Had self-centered hopes that
That was until I heard all the names.
Hearing his name made me realize that he was a real person.
I had to believe that Stachis had a new encounter in a place I hadn’t seen.
Haha…”
I secretly laughed out loud.
-‘My body… Is it cool?’
The answer that came back to the question of where did you like confession?
Pudeudeuk.
Heat rose in the face.
Starchis’s body was made by me.
Minor scars on his body from doing such dangerous work over the years.
I restored his lost flesh and blood.
It’s safe to say that there are very few parts of his body left untouched by me because I’ve done so many restorations.
No one knows Starchis’ body better than I do.
It is his body that I have protected.
And it was taken away in an instant.
Besides, I can’t believe it.
Only that?
Of all the many charms of Starchis, he confessed to only one of them, and was deprived of Starchis with just that one?
To a bitch who doesn’t even know the charm of Starchis properly?
Starches are good
The heart is also very kind.
She is by far the number one among the people I’ve seen who have lived as a saint.
Your voice is cool.
Looking at his face, he is attractive.
Trustworthy
He just loses in trivial things
There is no retreat in important matters.
I feel at ease when I am with him.
Behavior is good
The smile you show sometimes is pretty.
… Changed me.
It was scary.
I’m afraid that sometimes his behavior without backing down will turn toward me as well.
Going home alone today seemed like a taste of it.
The moment I see his eyes and the way he speaks
Oh, I thought that this would not work no matter how sulky and clumsy it was.
Tuck… Tuck…
When he raised his head, a huge tree appeared in front of him.
-‘I met Vien for the first time after taking him to church. Is there a big tree on the way to my house from church? Near it.’
It’s this tree.
It seemed to be drawn clearly in front of my eyes.
The scene where Starchis and the woman meet.
Maybe… I sent him a little early, or I sent him a little late.
Or would there not have been a future like this if I had only seen him off that day?
Could Starchis not be anyone’s yet?
It became regret that his hands trembled.
Is there any way to turn back time…
I try to think of foolish thoughts.
After walking for a while, the church came out.
A woman was standing in front of the church.
See me and run to me
“Bien!! Why are you so late today!”
A probationary saint like me, ‘Casey’.
As an orphan like me, he is a child who grew up in the church since childhood.
“Isn’t that guy here today? The one you like.”
My heart is beating tight.
Didn’t want to say
“I want to go in..”
Slightly avoiding Casey, I entered the church.
But she stopped me.
“Bien! What are you doing these days..? You look bad.”
“Get out of the way… “
“No. What happened? You look so tired since you came back from the dungeon last time.”
“…”
“Is it that man?”
Back. I closed my lips tighter.
“Come here at once.”
Casey looked around her and led her by my arm to the bench next to her.
I was pulled helplessly
Sitting on the bench, Casey asked.
“Is the man hurt? I guess this is the first time I haven’t taken you?”
Also, I didn’t want to answer.
When I was still, Casey spoke softly.
“Bien… I have to talk to you so I can give you some advice.. Talk to me. You have to pour out your heart so it doesn’t feast.”
After being silent for a while, I slowly opened my mouth.
“… It doesn’t hurt.”
“So, did you fight?”
Shaking my head.
“Then what happened?”
Casey asked cautiously, placing her hand on my shoulder.
The words I didn’t want to hear came through my throat.
“Starchis…Has a lover.”
“Ah..”
I thought I wouldn’t come out anymore
Tears flowed down.
“You won’t even take me there from now on.”
“B, B..”
“The expression on his face when he said that was so determined … I … What should I do?”
“…”
Casey’s face was also stained with sadness.
“I can’t do without Starches… What should I do?”
Casey hugged me silently.
She patted him on the back.
Then her tears of her, which she thought could not come out more, flowed incessantly.
“I told you to be a little honest… “
“I didn’t know it would turn out like this…”
“It’s more strange that such a man doesn’t get a mate… He’s dependable, stupidly nice, and devoted. The story goes that he’s a man when he’s supposed to be a man. Oh, can’t I say something like this..?”
I started to cry out loud at her words.
Okay. I knew.
“I should have had a little more courage… If I had confessed… If I had confessed… “
“That… Could have been bad, Vien… Let’s think of it that way.”
“No!!”
Starchis’ voice came.
– Maybe?
If you had confessed
If only she had once suppressed her heart that she was about to jump out and spoke.
Could he be mine
Could I be his
Would he still take me.
Maybe. It would have been.
If I told you my honest heart just once
I would have been sitting next to him now.
-‘I love you, Bien’
I would have heard these words in his voice of her without wanting to.
Words I’ve always wanted to hear.
Now I can only hear it with my imagination.
If I had the courage
You wouldn’t have to know these feelings right now.
I buried my face in Casey’s shoulder her.
“Hehe…Ugh…”
“Hi-go… I’m sorry for Bien, what should I do…”
“Huhhhhh”
“…Then are you coming to the party now? Entering the dungeon was all because of him.”
Going out to party…?
Is he not mine anymore?
.
.
.
Can’t be done. Absolutely not.
When he comes out, he no longer has any contact with him.
Can’t meet anymore
I can’t do without Starches in my life.
I don’t think I can stand that much.
****
Aaaaa… Ha.
I woke up refreshed from bed today.
I was a bit surprised by the sudden visit late yesterday
I think it’s rather good now.
It’s better to lie sooner than worry about when to lie and put it away and feel at ease.
I was afraid of being caught telling unnatural lies because I was drunk, but apparently I passed it well.
From now on, I will be able to refuse promises with just a few words saying that I should go see my girlfriend without any explanation.
Or make your refusal a little more firm.
My conscience is stabbed, and I feel a sense of shame at the ugly lie about having a girlfriend, but well, those things don’t give me time to rest. I thought there were some parts that I had to endure a little.
“Oh right.”
I need to unwind.
I opened the door to my room and went down to the restaurant on the first floor.
Many people were already enjoying breakfast.
For me, who always went out at dawn, this moment felt a little warm.
It’s a different feeling than eating lunch or dinner.
This moment when everyone eats breakfast to start the day.
It was good.
I sat in any empty seat.
What to eat
While thinking about food, I also thought about today’s schedule.
There are still 3 days left to rest.
Should I go fishing, which I wanted to do but couldn’t?
Shall we borrow a horse and go for a long walk?
Should I buy some flowers and grow them?
In a way, it was difficult to decide what to do with the little sudden given time.
Oh
Then it dawned on me.
I still have one job left.
Once this is over, none of the three will have any reason to visit me until the day they go to the dungeon.
Okay, let’s finish with that and think about it.
Oh, and eat first.
“Madame!”
****
-Smart smart
I stared at the door at the sound of a knock.
I haven’t been able to sleep since yesterday.
Two scenes kept playing in my head.
Starch gave me a week ago
-‘Lily sister, do you like me?’
The moment I asked and the question that I would have accepted if anyone had confessed to me yesterday
-‘Perhaps?’
The moment you said
Last week I couldn’t muster up the courage because Starchis was angry.
I wonder if it’s a car.
I didn’t say I like it.
Said he didn’t like it
And on the last day of the holiday that week, Starchis got a lover.
I had a chance
There, he thought of breaking the Stachis Treaty,
If I had bumped into my heart, I would have been next to Stachis, not a bitch named Elzain.
And that one thought kept me awake.
I didn’t even want to fall asleep in the first place, but it kept bothering me.
The moment when his scent his, his actions his, his body his, everything about him had come to me, and I had missed it without even noticing it.
It was the moment when the yearly unrequited love ended, and the moment when my dream could come true, but I let it go.
And the opportunity never comes back.
-Smart smart
A knock was heard again.
I didn’t want to be disturbed at this moment.
I’ve never felt worse than this in my life.
I felt like I was pouring this feeling out on someone else.
-Smart smart
Even if you don’t pretend to be there, you can hear a persistent knocking sound.
Under.
Sigh and I woke up.
To be honest. From the thought that it might be Starchis.
– Kiik.
As expected, it was just a woman.
A woman in a neat uniform handed over a box with her greetings to her.
“Hello! Lily… Is that right? Men’s clothes tailored last week were completed and I’m here to bring them to you!”
Oh it.
She was eating
A rejected laugh came out.
“…Haha…”
It was a dress I bought because I wanted to see it, but as I said, it turned out to be a present for Stachis’s lover.
Could it be that what she told her to wear when meeting her girlfriend her came back as karma?
Is it my fault for not being honest?
The me of the past was harassing me now.
“Then! Let’s go! Please use it again next time!”
I received the box, gave a short greeting, and closed the door.
I bought it at an expensive store in the hope that Starches would wear good clothes.
M If I knew I would do good things, I should have bought cheap clothes.
Not. Still, you can’t make cheap gifts for the man you love.
Okay. I should have just confessed.
Why couldn’t I have the courage?
Papapak
I put my hand up and brushed my hair, clearing my thoughts.
Regrets must stop now.
I want to stop.
No more suffering.
I opened the box and took out the clothes.
It was completely different from the clothes of the same design that I showed as an example.
From the texture of the clothes to the curves they create.
Gulp.
Slowly, each piece of clothing was spread out on the bed in the shape of a person.
As the clothes were made to fit her body her,
Even if he put down his clothes on her, he seemed to be able to see his body shape on her.
I lay on it
“…Haha..”
Just imagining it, it felt like being in his arms her.
If only it had body odor, if it was clothes worn only once, it would have been perfect.
I kept shaking my head.
Honestly, I think I’m doing a good thing for a bitch named Elsaine,
I feel like I’ve done a good job to the bitch who stole my starches, so my stomach hurts.
I clenched my fists so hard that I felt like my nails were digging into my palms.
I just wanted to tear the clothes off.
However, I couldn’t do that when I thought of what Starchis would like.
It was also a gift I wanted to give as long as I could take my thoughts away from my lover who was stressing me out.
So I had to roll my head.
How can I use this gift well?
Oh And a brilliant idea came to mind.
.
.
.
-Smart smart
After some time. A knock was heard.
I could tell who it was without looking at it.
It’s Starches.
After receiving the clothes, I knew that they would come even though I hadn’t promised them.
You must have wanted to show this outfit to your lover.
Even though my teeth were grinding, I wouldn’t show an ugly side to him like saying I can’t give it to him anymore.
I walked back to the clothes I folded and put in the box.
It was the last test before handing over the clothes to Starchis.
Concentrating his mind, he activated the magic on his clothes.
Then I spoke to the clothes.
“… Ah.”
– Ah.
My voice ringing in my ears again.
I nodded and headed for the door.
I sorted out my tousled hair and tried to wipe away the tears.
When I open the door, I see my love.
The man who should have always been mine…
I forcibly raised the corners of my mouth.
“Starches…! Hmm hmm What’s going on at your sister’s house? If you’re here to pick up your clothes, I’m ready.”
