Chapter 154 – Because I Know You Are Not That Kind of Person
“…Harumu, how did you get here, hey…?”
“Miss Byul opened the bed of desire and invited me?
“They said that only I can help you.”
Harumu smiled kindly and continued to stroke my head.
Then, strangely enough, the hyperventilation that had been panting began to subside.
The comfortable scent, like the scent of fresh grass, drifts to the tip of your nose, making your breath soft.
“…Okay, first, let’s take a deep breath and calm down.
“I will continue to hug you like this until you get better.”
It feels like my whole body is wrapped in a blanket that has been dried in the clear sunlight.
I love the soft feel of Harumu’s white tail touching my skin.
Peace of mind, like lying on a bed in the middle of a forest and looking at the sky.
My mind, which was full of anxiety and suffering, turns into a bright blue sky.
“…Harumu, this is… That appearance…”
“…This is an appearance created by the desire that Miss Byeol gave me to help her brother.
I took the desire I absorbed from that man and made it my own, creating a form just for my brother…
“This is my new body that I created to give you what you need most.”
“What do I need most? What is it…”
“Hehe, that’s…”
Harumu let go of me and knelt down next to me.
She carefully pulled my head from hers and laid it on her lap.
A fox smiling down at me as I froze in a slightly embarrassed and embarrassing situation.
I hear a small whisper along with her humming, which makes me feel sleepy just listening to it.
“I think what you need most is rest and understanding.”
“… Rest, I understand… I slept for about an hour earlier, so it’s okay…”
“Uh-huh! I can never give up to my brother at this moment.
“Please lie down like this and get some rest until I tell you it’s done.”
It was such a cute yell that I was confused as to whether what he just said was really yelling.
For some reason, I couldn’t refuse Harumu, who gently pinched my cheek and asked me to rest.
Get her out of the way, it’ll all be over if she gives you a coercive command.
All I could do was turn my head and lie down with my lips tightly closed.
Hansi is busy, so I have to hurry to find her masks and the woman, but what is this…
Now I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even know what I’m thinking.
Am I really hoping for comfort? To whom? To Harumu?
To the woman I made a saint, to the woman who stole her life completely?
I don’t deserve it, so what on earth am I hoping for?
I don’t have the shame to come this far and say, ‘I wasn’t in my right mind back then.’
Hye-mi Yang, Yun-sol Go, and Su-hyeon Yang.
Even though it wasn’t my will that made them saints, I enjoyed them.
After hearing that the obscene body was mine, I repeated self-justification.
Noah, Isabelle, Luna, Choi Go-eun, and Go Yoon-byeol.
I felt joy in defeating and conquering those women who opposed my desire to dominate.
I had already been conquered by the power of the mask and was exploiting the desires of saints.
The owner of the anomaly, Choi Woo-joo, is a rapist and murderer no different from other mask owners.
This is a pig who aimed his knife at the throat of a woman who was crying in her pitch-black car in the parking lot and coveted her body.
I──
“No, the brother I know is not that kind of person.”
His breathing became heavier again, and a hand wiped away the cold sweat that had flowed down the curve of his cheek.
Harumu, who was not at all bothered by this ugly and dirty appearance, spoke calmly.
“Ha, Rumu… Since when did I…”
Is this also the power of Harumu, who became a second-level saint and fox saint?
At some point, I realized that I was spitting out my inner thoughts.
“…If I didn’t do this, my brother wouldn’t have told me until the end.”
Harumu straightens my sweaty, tangled hair with a bitter smile.
Looking up at her out of the corner of her eye, she lets out something that is a mixture of her sigh and her sneer.
“Ha, haha, I’m not that kind of person… Harumu, I thought you were like that too.
“I thought it was okay because you killed my friend and threatened my parents.”
“I understand, brother. If you had been hurt, I would have been too.”
“For the same reason, I made her into a saint. I wanted to have those women…
“It was no different from those bastards, I was originally this kind of person!”
As if my exhausted brain had finally broken down, tears began to fall.
Her mouth is smiling, her hands and shoulders are shaking, and her body and mind are finally breaking down.
Using the fact that he couldn’t resist the power of the mask as an excuse, using the dead Jaehyuk as an excuse,
Using her mother and father’s safety as an excuse, in the end, only for my own desires.
I violated everyone.
Because it felt good.
“Harumu, I know it’s a lie that you understand me… Because that was made up.
You can say that because you were brainwashed to obey me and your master…!!”
So I ignored Harumu’s comfort.
Because I thought it was a sweet temptation, because I thought it was a ruse of desire.
Because I wanted Harumu to hate me like this and leave me with disgust, but—
“No, I don’t think so.”
Harumu, who was only smiling calmly despite my intense anger, did not do that.
“What do you mean, I want you…”
“I can say for sure, right? I can affirm everything about you…
“It’s not due to brainwashing or the relationship between the master and the saint, but thanks to Yumeka and Harumu’s emotions.”
”…Huh?”
As soon as I turned my head in surprise and looked up at Harumu, she hugged my head.
“Don’t you remember? I have nothing from the Yumekawa family.
I couldn’t even have the little things like love from my family, praise after training, or a small teddy bear.
I never had a chat with anyone until the day of my coming of age ceremony. Even with Hana, who was always close by.”
“…”
“I met you for the first time when I was forgetting the kindness and warmth of other people.
“During the coming-of-age ceremony, my brother came up to me when I was injured and asked, ‘Are you okay?’ He was kind to me.”
As Harumu laughs as if embarrassed, her guilt grows even stronger.
Like everyone else, I tried to ignore Harumu’s strange behavior.
“But since no one came forward, I thought I should help too…”
“That is your brother’s kindness and specialness.”
“────”
“Even when I became one person, he continued to protect me and worry about me,
My brother, who took my side and fixed my eyes, is kind and kind.
Of course, teaching me ‘adult play’ as a child was a bit harsh.”
“───Tsk…”
“I have learned all my life that the Master of the Mask is not kind enough to heal a blind man’s eyes.
But I remember the brother who remained in my childhood memories, the brother I knew.
You, my brother, are different from the owners of that mask. Of course, you——”
Harumu lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine.
“──Because you are the man I adore.”
It was pure and untainted, without any sense of desire as a saint.
“I really, really, really love you, brother.”
Even though she is a saint, her eyes do not look at me, her owner, but rather at an ordinary man, ‘Choi Woo-joo.’
I ask as I shed tears at the so beautiful light in my purple eyes.
“…Like I just said, I’m actually not a good person. And yet?”
“Yes, because I know that you are actually a good person.”
“…Even though I’m such a weak human being who breaks down so quickly?”
“I can support you so that you don’t collapse.”
“…Even so, the saints… The women I have defiled… Even though they have many sins?”
“Then, shall we ask for forgiveness from our seniors later? I will be by your side.”
“…Why are you doing this to me…?”
“I’m sure I would have loved you even if I didn’t have the mask.”
Harumu’s answer was filled with deep trust and affection.
She truly believes that I am different from those owners.
A pathetic man lying on his knees, covering his eyes with his sleeves, crying ungainly.
“Ugh, ugh…! Because of me, Jaehyuk… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s been so hard…!”
“No, her friend didn’t die because of her brother.”
“When I was betrayed and when I saw people die in front of me, I was actually so scared…”
“It’s not that you’re weak. Anyone would be like that.”
Harumu comforts the wounds every time the accumulated emotions come out.
I lay down on her lap and cried like a child under her warm touch.
Despite my pathetic appearance, I was relieved to hear a voice that embraced even my mistakes.
I shed tears as my heart was relieved by the faith that made my previously anxious existence certain.
Even if she buried her face in her knees and her eyes became dark, that scene did not come to mind.
Harumu holds my hand whenever my hand trembles.
Harumu covers me with his tail and gently pats my head.
Harumu is not a saint who quietly affirms everything about me without saying a word.
When I hear a humming song so calm and peaceful that I forget the blood of that day,
I was exhausted from crying and letting out my anger, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep in the warm arms of the fox.
Last week, no.
It was the first sleep I had without any worries since picking up the mask.
“Have a nice dream, brother.”
* *
