Chapter 23 – Future Dream (3)
‘I can’t make a profit because I only make and sell stuff like that.’
I admit the fact that metals exude their own fucking slickness. Because my idol Vectorman is also wearing armor.
If Beast Return was not a strange lump of energy, but a spell to equip armor, I wouldn’t have been surprised at all from the first time I used it. Instead, she would have had to get out new underwear because she was tired of that flimsy look.
Aren’t robots made of metal also one of the twin wagons that men love to die for? The other is, of course, a dinosaur. In other words, it is not a waste to invest a million dollars in the metal industry to make dinosaur robots.
After thinking that far, I affirmed her words.
“Metal is cool. Aside from being loud, full body armor is also a man’s dream.”
“Yes?! Yes?!”
“But I can’t live because I don’t have money.”
Let’s not make faces like that. It seems like I’m guilty
“… Wait. I’m sure there was something I made out of pride somewhere here.”
She slumped sullenly and brought something like pants. Outwardly, they were ordinary black pants.
“How do you like this armor? I made it with monster skin and reinforced it by adding steel plates to the vital points. You can wear it like pants.”
“Looks fine. What is the price?”
“It’s 65 Cooper. Ah, the skin is that of a rock turtle.”
“It’s fine.”
It’s expensive, but even in modern times, bulletproof knives are more expensive than this.
By the way, Rock Turtle is easy to catch, but its leather becomes stronger when processed, so it is a monster like cowhide in the armor industry of another world that is sold here and there.
I checked the burl part. It wasn’t a bulging steel cock or boomerang panties design, but a sturdy leather armor made of monster skin.
If you wear this, you won’t be ashamed to wear it. It was strong because it had magic enchantments on it, and it didn’t look like it would peel off during a fight because it was just right in weight.
“Try it on from here.”
Clara said, pointing to a very flimsy place to call it a try-on room. I went in there and tried it on.
‘… Are you freaking out?’
The leather was strong enough to be used as armor, but it seemed to have little elasticity. Is it because it is a mid-priced product that is sold only with the belief in cost performance?
‘No, wait?’
Something felt a little out of place.
I took off my pants and peered at the longsword in my underwear.
In another world, underwear culture was not very developed. For women, there is a concept of a bra and panties, but men’s panties were almost like swimsuits or shorts.
It is a method to fit mass-produced men’s underwear to the size of the waist by tying it with a string around the waist. I just make the length long and go home and ask my wife to cut it.
—That’s why I didn’t know until now.
As I said, apart from coffee, cola and alcohol, I rarely drink water, so I didn’t even go to the bathroom after waking up today.
─Puuuuu.
“Det?”
The longsword in my underpants had become a Zweihander.
***
—For men, Juji size is sometimes a sensitive and taboo topic.
While women openly talk about their breast size to some extent and sometimes use it as a joke, men rarely talk about the size of their dicks, even among men.
Because everyone knows
Comparing Juji sizes and arguing for superiority and inferiority is a very sensitive part that can sometimes lead to bloodshed, to be honest.
Like this, men were obsessed with the Juji size.
Few men are detached from this. The fact that the undisputed number one in the urology surgery ranking is the Juji length extension upgrade patch proves that fact.
When asked to divide the number 280 by height/IQ/Juji size, there were people who wanted to become a bald gorilla with a 180/70/30 ass, Juji’s size was a very serious issue.
There are probably more people in the world who want a Juji extension technique without side effects than steroids without side effects.
If a drug that really takes gear 3 is developed, it will boast an almost perfect hair growth agent and equal medical preference.
This bizarre preoccupation with size was uniquely human. The sarcomatism is rarely seen in other creatures. I don’t know what the other world’s different races are like, but it was like that on Earth anyway.
The breeding competition of non-human animals is determined not by Juji’s size, but by his fighting power.
Carnivorous animals such as lions and tigers boast that they are big cocks, and even if there is a baby who casts Nikko 3, if that baby twists her, he can bite her by the nape of her neck and send her to the three swords.
Perhaps the part of their body that they show off their power is not the juji, but the toenails. That was the reason why even gorillas, which have much greater strength than humans, are the size of a little finger.
There may have been a lion with a 30cm Juji in history, but that Juji Lion would have been pushed out of the competition just like saber tigers became extinct because of their big teeth.
Long vital points are not helpful except during sex. Even if only the tip of the glans is cut off during a fight, you will not be able to have sex until you search and you will be weeded out from breeding.
It was a natural law for compact juruses, which are fast, cheap, and advantageous in battle, to win in breeding competition. This is the theory of geographic selection that Charles Darwin argued during his lifetime.
So the fuck is that I don’t understand now.
‘Why is my viper turned into an anaconda?’
No, honestly, I guessed the cause. This is the second word.
‘Is this also because of Beast Return? Why?’
Return of the Beast.
A strange magic whose origin and identity are still unknown. As the expression “Primitive sorcery” Suggests, it is bittersweet, old-fashioned strengthening magic full of fundamentals.
The strengthening of the body made sense. Because the effect of this magic is to imbue my body with the power of an Earth warrior.
I don’t know why it only worked for me, but thanks to Beast Regression, my body was able to pass through mana, so my muscle strength was strengthened even during normal times.
‘But what does that have to do with my cockiness?’
I got into mayhem in the blacksmith’s try-on room.
Having the power of a beast, his physical strength has been strengthened. Sense of understanding.
As if using animal skin, the defense was also strengthened. Sense of understanding.
The jujuji that is also a combined company has changed into a fucking thick one.
I don’t understand.
“Will you turn?”
No, does Juji grow bigger because of the power of an ordinary animal? I don’t think so.
Come to think of it, among animals, there are some big Juji. For example, like the representative creature of Big Magnum Juji, a horse.
They say that because of their body structure, sexual intercourse is difficult if they are not that size, so only the Big Juji gene survived. If you are not a horse, you cannot give birth to offspring, so everyone has become a horse. This can also be considered as a kind of juji selection theory.
But, of course, it is given as an effect of beast return, but does it make sense that it was changed by selecting and changing among animals?
“Fuck! What the hell is this all about!”
I was more bewildered by incomprehensible madness than when I met a katydid or Nefertiti!
Ah, that’s right, there’s nothing wrong with the fucking Juji getting bigger.
Nothing bad. There’s nothing fucking bad about it, but if it gets bigger, shouldn’t we know why it got bigger?
The fact that I woke up from a good night’s sleep and that Juji was so fucking big meant that one morning, he could suddenly become fucking tiny.
In a severe case, the juji would disappear altogether and I might become a female master roe deer in another world!
“Guwaah ah ah !!!”
Truly an act of overwhelming madness!!
Like Jammin who had his first erection, I went out of my mind.
Last night, while I was sleeping, did the surgeon of death fly in and ‘sembles’ my juice and horse cock and left? It felt like my head was spinning to the extent that I thought such a strange thing.
A man’s Juji was a human body-friendly endorphin generator that came out from the time he was given life in this world. Even though they are the parents of Suzy, even if they are orphans, their Juji is as precious as their lives.
That’s why I had to figure out why the hell this happened to my juicer.
Otherwise, I’d have to hold on to Juji and terrify myself in bed every night!
“Customer?! What are you doing?!”
Then Clara’s voice came from outside. It seemed that I started talking to him in surprise when I started yelling at him in the try-on room.
I answered in a voice that was barely calm and calm.
“Nope. Sorry. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong.”
I quickly put on my pants and came out. Incompatible chaos and blind unknowns have overtaken me, but nothing is solved by trembling in fear!
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. Don’t be okay.”
I handed over the pants to Clara, who seemed to be wondering if I had a crazy bastard as a guest.
“Sorry to trouble you, but your pants are a bit small. Could you please adjust it to a slightly larger size?”
I said so. Because I couldn’t say that Juji got so fucking big that his crotch was tight.
“Yeah? If the size is small, it can’t be. I put it all loose so I can resize it after trying it on.”
Clara said as if she couldn’t understand.
“Where do you mean you don’t fit in the first place? From the outside, it doesn’t even look like a lot of flab… Place… ?”
Clara stopped talking and shut her mouth. Her gaze fell on the pants I was wearing. In my crotch, which has been sore and heavy since this morning.
“… Ah.”
‘A’ is what ‘A’ is.
“Ah, ah! Oh! Oh! Yeah! Four, yes! All right!”
Said Clara, bouncing around like a spring that was pressed and released, making a fuss about him.
“You mean sizing?! Wait! I’ll make adjustments!!”
Udang-tang-tang!!!
Clara rushes to the workshop while upsetting her shop. Fuck I’m so embarrassed I don’t know what to do. Really.
“Plague”
I crossed my arms and waited for Clara to mend my trousers.
I just wanted to leave because it felt like it, but I liked those leather pants quite a bit, and I needed them, so I calmly waited.
“Hee!!”
Then the quack woke up and screamed when he saw me.
Seeing him tremble at the slightest eye contact, I thought he wouldn’t be fooling around to get revenge on me later. I guess so. A bastard who starts looking for the law after punching himself first and then kicking it is a macho shame.
A real macho is ashamed of being beaten up in a match, so he can’t even report it or take revenge.
Even if you tell your friends, the only ones who hang out with the macho cubs are the same foragers. Even your friends will get you nothing but contempt for being beaten up for being an idiot.
But, because his friend was hit, he came up in a group and attacked? Then the fuck is that macho mafia cartel.
Perhaps, if they regrouped with their chivalrous cooperation and righteousness, only then would the Woong-nyeo inside me open her eyes.
Earth! Earth! Earth!
The sound of hammering came from Clara’s workshop. It’s like adjusting the groin part of leather pants well.
Since that person also has skills, the blacksmith guild gave them a separate person. Inseon (人選) is at the level of worrying about the safety of parents.
A certain dwarf I know lives by mastering how to live in the forest like an elf, even though she has excellent hand dexterity. She seems to have excellent blacksmithing skills even with a human body.
No, maybe Clara is also a half dwarf?
Above all, the expression half-dwarf was already the result of a supremacist mindset. From the point of view of the dwarves, the mixed blood of a dwarf and a human would be half-human, not half-dwarf.
If you look back on the family tree, there must be at least one or two dwarves in the lineage of any good blacksmith. Because it’s common for people in the industry to marry.
It was a pretty logical reasoning.
‘Am I the type who has skills but can’t do business?’
I guessed that when I saw Clara’s shop.
Merchants who sell weapons sell well like leather armor, and their main source of income is products that they have to buy new because they easily get sick.
It’s good if the armor is strong, but if it doesn’t break at all, fewer customers come to buy new armor.
Not all warriors were looking for better equipment. An adventurer who was satisfied with the right line and only received the work he could handle was strong and fierce.
Clara lacks her creative power and management skills in such a commercial field.
Aren’t there a lot of people who are good at cooking but struggle because they don’t have the sense to run the store? Work ability and management ability are separate abilities.
In that sense, the way that quack did it was very suitable for short-term income.
Raise the unit price and change the product to Changryeol to receive advance payment for future profits. This is a method often used by CEOs with a conscience.
Like that, they forcibly raise profits only when they are CEOs, and later put them in their portfolios as if it were a great achievement.
After that, in a short period of time, companies that are fed up with sucking up sweet water give up running, and then go to the next target company and say this.
─Have you seen it? Please use me as CEO. Mom’s Touch raised profits by 30% for 3 years. Yes? Are they ruined now? Oh that’s not my business
Fuck, give me back my mother’s touch, bastards.
That method was a vicious means to rob all-round, from the top executives to the presidents of mid-sized companies. In that sense, I decided to step on the damn swordsman a few more times.
“THE FUCK!!! Search the ghost of Maek Geun-hye!! Dictatorship pound!!!”
“Keah!! Why are you doing this all of a sudden!!!”
Do you know which part of the human body is the most comfortable to hit?
That’s the thigh. The thigh is a place with many blood vessels, so it is dangerous when inserting a knife, but there is no important internal organ, so it is easy to beat when punching a fist.
Even if there is no internal organs, if internal bleeding and muscle rupture occur at the same time, you will have to suffer for a long time, so it is good for self-sufficient revenge.
It hurts even when I hit it, so the taste of the beating is great.
“Kwaaaaagh!! Ughhhhh!!!”
“Cry!! Shout it!! And die!!!”
Puck!! Puck!! Poop!!
I surrendered to my rage and slapped the quack on the thigh. The anomaly that happened to my juice drove me into a constant rage.
“Gyaaaaagh…”
The quack fainted again, making a goblin-like noise.
Look at this baby pronunciation. I thought it was some kind of local. Could this quack be an Ancient Goblin or something?
Any Jammin will become an adult someday. Goblins will probably grow too. Maybe those who were jammins in childhood don’t grow up and hide in human society? It was a pretty plausible hypothesis.
“I have been mending! Try it on!”
While I was trying to relate the relationship between Jammin and Kkondae, Clara returned. Repair is quick once.
-Sureuk.
The pants were even wider in appearance. When I tried it on at the try-on, luckily it didn’t turn like a snail crawling on my thighs, and it was a satisfactory repair.
“I will do this. How much was it?”
“It’s 6, 65 Cooper.”
I opened my wallet and took out the money. Originally, I had to pay for the inn today, so I brought a lot of money. If I came to the forge and found a weapon I liked, I thought of buying it.
What I bought here was the armor, but that’s not the problem now, so let’s move on.
“Here you go.”
“Yeah. Go, thank you.”
Clara tried to avoid my gaze. I didn’t know why she was doing that, so when I looked at her, she covered her face and turned away from me.
“Oh, don’t do that! I am a married woman!”
“I didn’t ask.”
Anyway, that’s how it happened, anyway, I came out of the forge with the new armor and the status abnormal Juji.
Damn, what do I do now
‘It’s Juji. If you’re looking at me, tell me the answer.’
There was no way the answer would ever come back.
Living in a different world was such a fucking thing.
🤣😂🤣😂