Chapter 79 – Conflict (5)
79
Carl lightly hardened his face. Sophia’s last words pierced me like a dagger. It was, of course, the kind of criticism he had to endure, but painful is painful nonetheless. Of course. Just because you stabbed an innocent family member to death yesterday evening doesn’t mean that your cut finger won’t hurt today.
It was a love initiated by desire and sustained by desire, but Carl loved Sophia nonetheless. That desire was not easily quenched. On the contrary, the more we worked together, the more we put on weight and grew in size. Just like wildfires burn forests.
Sophia’s self-deprecating remark touched Carl’s conscience that was sleeping deep inside. Originally, it was a conscience so small that you wouldn’t know if it existed or not, but as long as you love Sophia, it’s that kind of conscience that won’t disappear completely. Carl wanted Sophia to be happy. I hoped Sophia would be happy. However, as much as he wished for Sophia’s happiness, there was only a desire to destroy Sophia.
“I don’t consider you a prostitute.”
Carl growled. Sophia looked at Carl’s face with a dry expression, then pointed at Carl’s lower leg with a nod of her head. Her erection was unresolved. Looking at the bloodshot eyes and reddened cheeks after a while, the thought of wanting to dirty Sophia creeps up. It was a physiological phenomenon that followed.
“Your body is honest.”
Sophia said sarcastically. Sensing the amount of self-deprecation contained in the sarcasm, Carl said with a rare feigned embarrassment.
“This is just a physiological phenomenon. I haven’t forcibly violated you yet.”
Sophia’s smile deepened. Carl’s embarrassment gave Sophia an unfamiliar sense of fun. The sense of conquest and pleasure that comes from victory. Sophia’s brain was struck by the thrill of overcoming an opponent she could never win. Sophia gladly enjoyed the pleasure.
“Oh yes. Wasn’t there a time when I didn’t stop having sex with her even when I cried out for help? I guess it wasn’t rape. The rape I know and the rape Carl knows are different concepts. That’s sad.”
“That,”
“Don’t make excuses. Carl raped me. You don’t think I’m a prostitute? So, I guess I thought of it as a sex slave or a plaything. Well, I don’t even get a flower bed, so that’s right. Prostitutes even have the right to refuse in some cases.”
“You have the right to say no, Sophia. I promise, I won’t force you to do it if you don’t want to.”
“The knife I loved. Carl Leben. Stop making silly jokes like that. Do you still think of me as a child? Even if it’s not followed, I don’t have the means to hold Carl accountable.”
“… Yes.”
But Carl made no further promises to Sophia. He gently stroked Sophia’s shuddering cheek, gave her a slight hug, and kissed her on the lips. Sophia tried to twist her head around, but gave up her resistance as Carl’s hand pinned her face.
“An idiot who can only do what he is forced to do.”
Carl glared at Sofia, then he went outside. “Haha.” A dejected laugh echoed through the room. Congratulate Without the knife, the room seemed empty. It was lonely. She wanted to sing an aria, but her voice couldn’t come out. Sophia was intoxicated with a bit of triumph, but soon her morning hunger came to haunt her.
There was a knock on her door. Sophia made no answer, but her counterpart did not wait. It was Osot. Sophia glared at Oh Sot as she entered pushing her food cart.
“That’s rude.”
“Please forgive me.”
“Karl doesn’t seem to want to keep even the bare minimum of courtesy anymore. To allow an outsider to enter my room at will. Without even getting permission. Why? Did Carl offer to give me to you? You don’t need it anymore?”
“It’s not like that. I was just trying to bring you breakfast.”
Sophia stopped blaming at Ost’s calm tone. Sophia was not so cruel as to pass on the feelings of betrayal, anger, and resentment she felt from the knife to a careless person. There was little point in venting your anger at Carl’s men. It was the knife that Sofia wanted to upset. And Sophia just came up with a way to make Carl angry.
If Carl was still in love with Sophia, this would be a way to weaken Carl—even if not, she felt Sophia could reveal her will.
Sophia spoke quietly but clearly.
“I guess so. But I don’t feel like having breakfast today. Also for lunch. Even dinner. I’m going to starve. Until the death.”
And in saying that, Sophia felt frustrated instead of triumphant. It wasn’t because she was afraid of the pain of fasting. She’s been starving a few times. There were times when she prayed for fasting at the church level, and there were times when she went hungry while sharing food with others because the food supply was cut off. … Back then, Carl was handing out his food.
Why. Sophia wondered about that. Even with his arms and legs, he was fond of Carl. But why the heck Carl and Sofia were able to share pure love. Confess and shyly accept. We could hold hands and walk the streets, and at night we could make love to each other shyly. Sophia couldn’t understand Carl’s mad love. In the end, it was the knife that ruined everything.
Ossot nodded his head at Sophia’s words and went out on the road. It was a no-brainer move. There was also a bit of sadness at her actions of Osot, who did not try to stop her fasting, but it was Carl, not Osot, who loved her.
Ostot had no obligation to please Sophia. For a person like Osoth, such an action was a choice, not a compulsion. It would have been different if Sophia had been the wife of the sword, but isn’t Sophia now in a position to reject the sword?
Boredom came soon after. It was an unbearable ordeal for her to sit idly on her bed. Sophia sat and thought about this and that. She imagined She revisited her memories, and she thought about what she should do in the future. She didn’t come up with an answer. She was extremely limited in what Sofia could do.
One thing was for sure, her relationship with Carl had to be repaired. However, the resentment, despair, resentment, and upset that came from deep inside, and the still broken arms and legs ignited anger against the knife again.
Right now, I just wanted to sharpen the knife. He wanted to piss off Carl. Her sword was in her rage, and she wanted to resent her. Even though she had to do that, it seemed that the anger and resentment she felt would be relieved a little.
Sophia waited for her knife to come.
