Chapter 5 – Caregivers (4)
4.
“You should have been patient.”
“… “
Sophia didn’t know what expression to make. The caregiver’s voice seemed worried, but Sophia’s sense of victimization recognized the underlying mockery. You can’t stand it, so you’re chewing it up. Who is a hero.
Ah. Yes. I’m sorry. But I’ve been patient with it for the past few days. The one who called but didn’t answer is the caregiver. More.
Sophia couldn’t get the thoughts out of her mouth. He couldn’t possibly do that. Sophia was like a superman in the wilderness. A superman in the wilderness who walks towards the place where he will die, carrying a weight that others cannot understand. He is a living hero who receives all kinds of respect and admiration. Continental Hope. Second Advent saintess.
How unsightly it must be for a person who has been called that to make excuses such as ‘I’ve endured a lot in the past’, not enough for the rudeness of peeing outside. He didn’t want to make any excuses. Depressed.
It’s not a very pleasant feeling to have someone else’s hand wipe your private parts. Even that was not a caress from a loved one, but a caregiver’s careless touch. A body that can’t even wipe off excrement because it has no hands or feet.
Sophia was laid back on the bed. She wanted to read a book. She asked for a bible. The caregiver gave him an annoyed look, then nodded and went to get the Bible. Sophia was now alone.
The blanket that was pulled up to her chin was stuffy. He wanted to put it away. Sophia flogged her limbs. Floundering floundering. Her half-remaining arm stirred as if swimming, pushing the blanket away. The half-remaining leg raised itself as if it were crawling. The blanket went down to her waist. Ah. I wanted to put it across her chest. Putting the blanket back up is a lot harder than taking it down. I wanted to ask the caregiver when he came.
Sophia felt that without a caregiver she would become unable to even lift the blanket properly. Haha. Looks like I was the fool. I can’t even do this properly. Peeing outside. I couldn’t clean the bottom properly, so someone else cleaned it.
The caregiver brought me a Bible. “Where can I open it?” “Anywhere.”
Chapter 9, Section 1.
I thank the Lord with all my heart, and I rejoice in your name for taking care of all my circumstances.
“… I’ll do it on another page.”
*
“Oh. Did you sell these too?”
“Haha. You have eyes to see. Listen for a moment… It is the perfect item for private use between lovers.”
When Carl spoke with a black patch in his hand, the general store owner smiled smirkingly. Carl paid the price with a grin. What would happen if the saintess’ eyes were covered? She can’t remove her eyepatch because she doesn’t have her arms. Being in endless fear, or rubbing your head on the floor and taking off your blindfold. Either way, it’s fun. I hope to use it someday in the future.
Carl was enjoying a leisurely celebration. I met almost all the people I was meant to meet. There were a few idiots out there trying to rule the new underworld, so now we just had to deal with that. Of course, Carl had no intention of stepping out on his own. There were quite a few traitors who would beheaded and presented to the king of the underworld who returned. Carl just had to wait.
And in the process of waiting, there was a small event.
“Is the auction house open today, Mister?”
“Yes? What do you mean, sir?”
“Why is this happening among people I know?”
The back world. The basis for accepting ‘things like that’ was the support of the nobility. Aristocrats often found provocative and illegal things, and most of them were cautious about revealing them in front of others. There were also difficulties in doing it. This back world is maintained in exchange for satisfying those needs. It was known as “Night Street”.
And this general store had a sign that said it was a guide leading to the “Street at night.” 1 black knife. ‘Street of Night’ was hosted by the three largest organizations in turn, and the organizer this time was a thief’s guild called Black Sword.
Carl showed his hand. I couldn’t show my master’s proof in a place like this, so I just picked up one of the guild member’s cards. I feel sorry for the lost friend. If you say you lost it, you know it’s roughly cutting off a few fingers. Ugh, but they don’t know why.
“… There is still a long way until start time. Eh, again, there is no need to tell you any precautions, right?”
“Ugh. I know roughly everything.”
“What products are you planning to buy?”
“Slave.”
“Yes, then there is a mask you can use when entering this side. You can tell me the password here, and you can say it again at the entrance later. The mask has a pattern engraved on it, so you must buy it.”
“I will do this. 1 gold, right?”
“… Actually, yes, hmmm. Do you have any plans to purchase that shining moon dagger together? If you say buy it, I might give it to you for 0.98 gold… “
Carl, ignoring the old man’s words, put one of his gold on top and took out the mask. It was a lion-shaped mask. The price of a mask engraved with a pattern is 1 gold everywhere. That’s the price of admission. Carl hums his tune and puts on a lion mask. If you wear this and go out on the street, it’s like bragging to people you know, ‘I’m going to the black market today’.
“Uh? Knife?”
And Karl, who came out of the door, ran into his colleague.
“… You said you were going to the library?”
“… Are you going to go to the black market?”
The Little Witch with Red Eyes. Maya.
It was a colleague who confessed to Carl and had a history of being dumped.
The two did not speak to each other for a while.
*
“Leave right now.”
“I, that’s me.”
“Right now!”
Tears welled up in Sophia’s eyes. Today is the day I want to cry. My cheeks were burning. It’s not because I’m ashamed. Not even from being slapped on the cheek. It was just poured hot.
I have to live like this for the rest of my life. It’s only been a few days now. It seemed like I was already exhausted.
He couldn’t help but be hurt by his caregiver’s insensitive attitude toward him as if he were about to die. She was tolerable. People didn’t always have to be kind to them. As she is a female caregiver, she washes her body and wipes her underneath. So, I could just endure a few harsh words.
Oh my, even the saintess smells everything. Ho Ho. Everyone is like that, right?
Shower? Do you have to do it? No what… Uhh, I get it
Oops, look at my mind. Are you okay? A lot of this water must have gone in. No, I forgot what. Anyway, you didn’t say anything. Oops, your head went into the water and you couldn’t hear it… No, what happened to this is that the friend she met earlier in the morning came to visit…
Oh my gosh look at my mind She must have dozed off for a while. What did you ask for?
Well, this is that diaper. From now on, don’t call me whenever it’s cold. That. You know? After it’s cheap, I’ll check it once more later. No, that’s right. I have a schedule too. You can’t just be taking care of yourself all the time, can you? People.
Tuk-tuk. The poking words made a small hole in Sophia’s heart. You can’t just be nursing all the time? I always have limbs amputated. I’m sorry. A diaper? Are you bothering me? Yes. Sorry. But, you know and take care of everything. Why are you here now?
Sophia had never uttered all the words that were in his heart. She always sighed inwardly. With a bright smile on her face. She is a saint, a saint, a saint. How can a person live with only good thoughts and good hearts? Sophia also has times when she is unfair, there are times when she wants to resent her, and there are times when she is in pain. She’s just more tolerant than others. She just forgets better. She is just like that.
She sighed deeply. He should be a man who can’t speak and lives like that. Carl had once asked Sophia why she was living such an idiot. Sophia replied back then, saying, “I didn’t want to live an ugly life like you because I was hot-headed.” Indeed. Well.
Who is the real ugly one now? Rather than the wonderful person who spits out everything he wants without holding anything back, isn’t he the me who keeps everything inside and remembers it while pretending to be okay and bright on the outside? Me Carl, I envy you.
Tears flowed from Sophia’s eyes.
It was because she could clearly see the caregiver falling in part. Maybe not, but it’s just a delusion of persecution. I could feel it staggering and partly taking one more step and pouring it out. I couldn’t help but feel it. It is Sophia who has survived for years on the battlefield between her life and death. She was already aware of the caregiver’s clumsy gestures.
The hot soup splashed onto Sophia’s face. She might get burned.
That’s why a scream like a scream came out of Sophia’s mouth.
The caregiver put on a look of helplessness and went outside. He didn’t even clean up the soup on Sophia’s body. I just left as if I was busy on my way.
“Sigh… “
Sophia’s tears were too few to wipe the soup off her face.
“Ouch… Black… “
Sophia’s arms were too short to wipe the soup off her face.
“Huh… Ugh… Huh… “
Sophia didn’t even know how to cry. It was because she hadn’t cried much. It was because I rarely had to cry out loud. So at first, I tried to endure it somehow, but I realized belatedly that there were too many tears inside. I pursed my lips and couldn’t stop the sound leaking out. Eventually, Sophia let out her voice as it came out. It’s stupid, it sounds like a beast.
“Me too, I don’t want to do this… “
Hib, hib.
The caregiver did not return that day.
The soup on her face was rubbed on the quilt.
Sophia said that on this day she had the first thought of wanting to die.
“I want to see everyone… Where are you… “
Night again.
Sophie dreams of the day she was enjoying her adventure with her companions.
*
“Hey Sophia, how are you? It looks okay. Her hospital visit said not to come. Aren’t you all busy?”
“No, no. You don’t have to go. It’s okay.”
“I visit often.”
“You are busy at work.”
“Sophia will feel burdened too. If she interferes with your work because of her.”
“She said later she asked me to stop by slowly?”
“Please tell me. Don’t put off what you have to do because of her self-concern.”
“Ah, even so.”
Carl felt a sense of pride.
It is a sense of accomplishment that comes from having saved Sophia from the clutches of her colleagues.
