Chapter 8
The first thing I do after arriving at school. The first thing I do after arriving at school is to look for Toramasa through the classroom window. I have rarely seen him for the past two months, but I can't help but look for him. I start early in the morning and wait until Ichika arrives just before morning assembly.
Then, during recess, I also tend to look in the hallways. I would never pass through the second grade hallway unless I had something to do with it.
I would look around for her during the moving class, of course. I rarely find them. During lunch break, I go to the vending machine. I do this almost every day because I can sometimes see Toramasa there.
After school, I go to the shoe box with Ichika and look around only with my eyes. After I leave the gate, I look for the person I love wherever I go.
Still, I don't go to the rooftop. Because the rooftop is where I talk to the heroine. In the game, the place where Toramasa is often on the rooftop. That's why I don't go to the rooftop.
What's wrong with you, looking at the rooftop?
I was looking at the rooftop from my classroom when Ichika, who was talking next to me, said to me, “Why are you looking at the rooftop?
I replied with a blank stare, “Nothing,” to which she replied, “I'm fine. I replied with a blank stare and turned my gaze away from Ichika.
She looked away and turned to Ichika, “You've been staring off into the distance a lot lately, are you okay?
I'm fine. I was just thinking about world peace.
What's that?
“I wish for world peace…”
What is it? Religion?
I nodded aptly to Ichika's tsk tsk and prepared for the next class.
I heard from Ichinose that you turned down Maeno-kun's contact information.
I heard that.
I heard. I've heard that Maeno-kun seems to have a crush on Mariko, but does she have a …… boyfriend?
I don't think so! I don't have one!
Is there someone you like?”
I was a little troubled by those words and then smiled.
I think Ichika, who has known me for a long time, saw my smile and understood. Ichika's expression turned surprised as she looked at me.
What? Really? Who is it? Tell me!
Don't tell me.
No. I'm very curious. Tell me!
Now, now, now, why don't you mind your own business and worry about me?
You're so vague… You should be prepared after school! It's my dream to go on a double date with Mariko's boyfriend!
“Oh, really? That's new news to me.
Because I just thought of it.
“You're a free spirit?”
I'm sorry Ichika, I don't think that dream of a double date is going to come true.
I'm sure I'll never find someone I love more than Toraga. Even if I were to go out with someone, I think I would still have Toraga in my heart, and I think I would need quite a bit of time before I could go out with anyone else.
After graduating from high school…how many years would I need…. A great heartbreak, both in my previous life and now. Shall we call it a heartbreak trip and go around the country? Or shall we travel to a foreign country? I will make so many memories of Toraga that my memory of him will fade away, and I will do my best until I can think about falling in love with someone else.
I'm sure you went out with Ichinose-kun on Sunday, didn't you? How was it?
What do you mean, how was it? We just went to see a movie.
“Love that starts with a childhood friend…”
No, not him. Because Ichinose? The crybaby Ichinose?
That was when you were little, right? I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to get a good look at him now. Ichinose, you're in the soccer team and I think you're popular.
I don't know about that guy. I like older, mature men!
Speaking of which, you said you like older men.
I think it would be good with Ichinose-kun. I'm not sure if I'm being a nosy aunt if I strongly suggest it, so I'm going to stop talking about Ichinose here. Besides, I don't know if Ichinose-kun really likes Ichika or not.
At that time, the chime for the start of class rang at the right time and we interrupted our conversation.
The class was science. Science is taught by the homeroom teacher of the next class, namely, Ms. Murasaki Shishido.
Long, unruffled, silky purple hair. Amethyst purple eyes. She is tall and has a low voice. Despite her height and low voice, she does not seem unapproachable because of her easygoing personality and the gentle smile that is always on her lips.
She has sexy blacks under her eyes, and the white coat she always wears suits her very well.
She always wears her long hair tied up with a hair elastic, which has become a topic of conversation among the female students. 28 years old, she always uses a cute elastic like those used by kindergarten and elementary school girls.
Rabbit, strawberry, ribbon, star shape. Today it was a heart-shaped elastic with red and pink lame. Whenever the teacher turns around and writes a letter on the blackboard, I can hear the girls in my class saying, “It's so cute,” “It's heart-shaped,” and so on.
It was indeed very cute. I can't help but think how cute it is to see an adult, thin, beautiful man using a cute hair elastic.
I often talk about the teacher's hair bands with my friends.
I wonder why he uses such a cute hair elastic. I knew the answer to my friend's question. But there was no way I could say, “Momoyama-kun, who lives with me, picks them out!” How could I say that? How could I know such a thing? No, officer. I know that from the game. No, they'll think I'm a perfect lunatic and I'll end up in the psych ward on a sleepover parley night. I can't let that happen.
Dr. Murasaki and Momoyama-kun are relatives, and Dr. Murasaki has been taking care of me since I was a little girl instead of my parents who were busy with work.
Momoyama-kun cries because he misses his parents, so Murasaki-sensei started wearing hair bands to make him smile a little….
Momoyama-kun likes cute things.
Just as Murasaki-sensei thought, Momoyama-kun was very happy to see it. Then Murasaki-sensei started using cute hair elastics.
The class ended without any understanding of the content of the lesson.
I put away my notebook and textbook on my desk, summarizing what was written on the blackboard.
After school, I tried to run home, but it was no use. Ichika grabbed me by the arm and my reckless escape came to an end.
The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you are doing and how to do it. I'm sure you meant …… to go home with me…I understand, Ichika-sama.
I'm sure she'll explore what I said before science class about the person I love. I'm so heavy-hearted when I think about that…. Why did I smile at that time…? I should have told him I wasn't there….
But even if I think so, it is already too late. Ichika was dragging me along as if to pull me away from my rambling. At that moment, Hanamiya-san passed by us.
She looked so cute and picturesque as she ran with her golden hair swinging softly. She ran up the stairs.
The third floor is where the first-year students' classrooms are located, so now that she is a second-year student, she rarely goes up the stairs except for the moving class. So I wondered if she had something to do with the first graders. I thought, but I was sure I would be going to the rooftop.
I can't stop thinking about the previous rainy day. Since she was talking to those two guys, she must be heading to the rooftop where Toramiya is.
I still don't know if Hanamiya-san likes Toramasa, but I still can't stop thinking about whether Hanamiya-san likes Toramasa or not.
My heart ached.
I don't talk to Toramasa at school. I never see him.
No matter how many times I talk to him on the phone or see him from time to time, I can't match the number of times Hanamiya-san, the heroine, sees and talks to Toramiya. This is the difference between the heroine and the mob. I knew it.
I was jealous of the heroine, thinking that while I was looking for Toramasa at school, the heroine was easily finding him and talking with him together.
Why am I not the heroine when I love Toraga so much…. What a punishing thought. Even though I am a mob, I was born into this world, and being able to meet Toraga is enough for me. I could have made a phone call, I could have gone to his room. But still, I can't stop wanting one thing after another.
(I am happy just to be able to see him…)
From my previous life, I was unthinkably greedy.
I am blessed enough….
The fact that I have these feelings proves that I love Toraga.
The pain in my heart, the ugly feelings, the tears, the smiles, everything, it is Toramasa who makes me what I am.
I see Toraga shining brighter than anything else. I feel that his existence is so precious that even God is precious to me. I am like a person who is really addicted to religion. …… I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. If there was such a thing, I would definitely join. I would pay a lot of money for it.
Oh, no, I can't help but feel down when I think about the heroine. No, I'm sure it's because I'm premenstrual and my mind is unstable. It must be so. I tend to feel a bit down before menstruation and my lacrimal gland becomes weak.
So no, it's wrong to be sad and not want to be taken advantage of.
I decided that no matter who the heroine, Hanamiya-san, chooses, I will support her.
So, but why, though, — I don't want her to choose Toraga.
You're a mob.
I thought I heard someone say that in the distance.
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
So who are you?”
Ichika said that as soon as we entered a certain famous fast food restaurant and took our seats.
I chewed a piece of hot fries and looked into the distance, pretending not to hear her words.
Don't ignore me for a second! I heard Ichika's angry voice, and I took another piece of potato and put it in my mouth.
As I continued to eat the fries, Ichika gave up and started talking to herself.
What kind of partner are you with that you don't want to tell ……? For God's sake, you should talk to me right away if you have any problems.”
At the sound of Ichika's worried voice, I stopped eating my fries and looked at her.
Ichika is worried about me as if it were her own. Ichika is always like that. When I am happy, she is happy with me, and when I am sad, she cries with me.
I felt like punching myself for worrying about Ichika and not being able to say anything.
I will tell Ichika someday. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”
I smiled annoyedly and Ichika let out a sigh, “I understand.” She smiled sadly, showing her well-aligned teeth.
I think she really wants to ask a lot of questions. I think Ichika is a curious person who wants to know everything about everything.
But she endures her feelings and listens to what I ask. I was grateful to her.
Do you want some fries?
I don't want your leftovers.”
Ichika put her mouth on the straw and leaned on her cheek.
I ate the fries again and looked out the glass window at the outside of the restaurant.
I watched the white clouds moving in the blue sky. I was looking at a beautiful sky, but I couldn't think of anything to say, and as a matter of course, the image of Toraga popped into my mind.
